Comments on: Comments on 9221

Post number 9221

Reggie452 — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:21:15 -0800

Re-Versed Christian Lyrics supplies alternative Christian lyrics to the rock songs you know and love. Be sure to check out "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Hell's Bells" while you're there. As a Christian, sites like this usually just make me cringe. I got a pretty good laugh out of this one, though, so I thought I'd share. [Link borrowed from Memepool.]

By: greensweater

greensweater — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:32:54 -0800

That's comedy gold, baby.

By: Reggie452

Reggie452 — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:35:58 -0800

I think the creators of this site are missing one important fact -- to sing these new "Christian" lyrics, one must first know how the original lyrics are sung. This usually means listening to a song numerous times. So, in a way, they are encouraging kids to memorize songs like "Hell's Bells" in order to sing those new Christian lyrics.

By: kristin

kristin — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:39:33 -0800

Freddy Mercury must be laughing his ass off from Hell right now: "Buddy y'were a man part of His plan Livin' in His world walkin' with the Big Man each day You got sin on yo' race You fell from grace Eatin' your apples all over the place Singin' Jesus, He will rock you. Jesus, He will rock you ....."

By: Marquis

Marquis — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:39:43 -0800

Interestingly, the authors do seem to have a bit of a sense of humour.

By: Skot

Skot — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:45:52 -0800

This is damn funny, but unfortunately, it's also a rerun.

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:47:14 -0800

I´m inspired, I´ve aflatus Two thousand years; that´s some hiatus Evolutionary theorists, come debate us God´s the Man, He...did create us We´re His fish - watch Him come bait us --------- "I've aflatus"? what the heck does that mean. I guess he might mean "afflatus - A strong creative impulse, especially as a result of divine inspiration." More and more, the Christian tactics to grab young impressionable minds seem pathetic and cheap. I mean "God's the Man"? Isn't that the kind of talk that usually angers these guys? These are most reminiscent of those Mad Magazine "sung to the tune of" things. And I am personally very upset that any attempt I could make at mocking these lyrics would fall far short of how ridiculous they already sound.

By: Reggie452

Reggie452 — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:52:31 -0800

Sorry about the double-post. I did a search for "Christian lyrics" that came up empty, so I thought I was safe.

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:53:48 -0800

What is "Particle Man"? Never heard of it. For a minute there I thought it was going to be "Family Man" by Black Flag. Like to hear 'em do that one.

By: ChrisTN

ChrisTN — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:55:05 -0800

Of course, this concept is really nothing new. Martin Luther set many of his hymns in the 16th century to tunes from barroom drinking songs of the day. Although, some of these are pretty cringe-inducing. ("Lifesaver Man"???)

By: Shadowkeeper

Shadowkeeper — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:55:21 -0800

There's a local bar here in Seattle that features "Rockaroake" -- that is, karaoke with a live band. It's really quite awsome. They have "Smells Like Teen Spirit" in the songbook. I´m inspired, I´ve aflatus Two thousand years; that´s some hiatus Evolutionary theorists, come debate us God´s the Man, He...did create us We´re His fish - watch Him come bait us How many MeFi'ers would come watch me do it?

By: witchstone

witchstone — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 10:56:36 -0800

What is "Particle Man"? Never heard of it. Particle Man is a They Might Be Giants song.

By: Reggie452

Reggie452 — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:00:13 -0800

Since this is a double-post, maybe we should put a new spin on it. I wonder which MeFi'er would be able to write the best re-versed lyric of their own? I'll give bonus points if you send in your lyrics and get them posted on the site.

By: Marquis

Marquis — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:02:11 -0800

Yeah. Particle Man is a fun song, featuring the classic line: Universe Man, Universe Man, Size of the entire universe man. Now is that a cool super-hero or what?

By: transient

transient — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:05:36 -0800

Can I mention that I think the worst Christian lyrics I've ever seen are "We're gonna rock rock rock rock rock with the ROCK!"

By: solistrato

solistrato — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:06:40 -0800

Or better yet, re-verse some Christian hymns?

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:07:04 -0800

I'll give bonus points if you send in your lyrics and get them posted on the site. And super double bonus if it's a GG Allin song.

By: lawtalkinguy

lawtalkinguy — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:09:23 -0800

I'm re-versing the metafilter comments: That's comedy gold, baby. That's comedy frankincense, baby Jesus.

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:11:29 -0800

Transient I have that comic book! I used to have a little collection of them. My personal favorite was one with the Grim Reaper on the cover, simply entitled "Hi There!" it...was...the Salmon....Mousse....

By: dogwelder

dogwelder — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:13:17 -0800

"Flood", the TMBG album that includes Particle Man, is a great album. The opening theme is great:
Why is the world in love again? Why are we marching hand in hand? Why are the ocean waters rising up? It's a brand new album for 1990- They Might Be Giants' brand new album "Flood!"

By: MonkeyMeat

MonkeyMeat — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:16:44 -0800

Muh-muh-muh myyyy Jehovah! to the tune of My Sharona, naturally.

By: norm

norm — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:27:31 -0800

Yes, let's re-do hymns. My favorite trick is one my mom taught me during church -- add "between the sheets" to the the end of each hymn title. Thus, "He leadeth me between the sheets" and "Have thine own way between the sheets" &c. Although Have Thine Own Way is pretty dirty anyway. Have thine own way Lord Have thine own way You are the potter I am the clay Mold me and make me after thine will while I am waiting yielded and still I mean, eww. Also, will someone do something about the last verse of Amazing Grace? When we've been here ten thousand years bright shining as the sun there's no less days to sing his praise than when we'd first begun I mean, can't we agree on the difference between less and fewer? (any mistakes recounting lyrics are mine, as they are solely from memory)

By: th3ph17

th3ph17 — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:39:37 -0800

you're mom taught you that? Rock-on. i like the talking 'bout his ressurection version of My Generation. But i think changing hymns to rock lyrics would be more entertaining.

By: th3ph17

th3ph17 — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:41:04 -0800

there i go slipping into elementary school style use of "you're" *sigh*

By: dogmatic

dogmatic — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:46:43 -0800

new christian rock songs born again heathen fodder praise the lord jesus

By: Grangousier

Grangousier — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:52:15 -0800

All things vile and horrible Diseases great and small Paedophiles and murderers The Lord God made them all He gave us floods and earthquakes He gave us famine too We watch His starving millions We serve His favoured few. But we don't like to ponder that he made these just the same. So we invented Satan. Yeah, let him take the blame.

By: jdbanks

jdbanks — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 11:54:29 -0800

Now, Norm, the "between the sheets" game is fun, but the metaphor of a potter and clay is a perfectly respectable one. Unless you were thinking about Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in that scene from "Ghost."

By: ParisParamus

ParisParamus — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 12:00:37 -0800

Shlockrock parodies are the Jewish equivalent. I don't get how setting new lyrics to music is anything other than shamefully embarrassing.

By: baby jesus

baby jesus — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 12:03:35 -0800

*hums*

By: Grangousier

Grangousier — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 12:06:29 -0800

We plough the fields and scatter The poison on the land. As long as we tithe regularly God will understand. And while it brings us money We'll never call a halt Until we've made a desert here Then it's the scientists' fault. Probably the same gag as last time, but I'm quite enjoying this.

By: headspace

headspace — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 12:12:15 -0800

And now, for your entertainment, a sampler from the Re-Versed Britney Spears compilation CD, coming soon from GodRock! (Crazy) You make me zealous I just can't sleep, I'm so excited, 'cause Jesus loves me Oh, zealous, but it feels all right Jesus, thinking of you keeps me up all night (Baby One More Time) Tell me, how you want it to be tell me Jesus, 'cause I need to know now oh, because! My priest is telling me (telling me) I must confess and still believe (still believe) That wine is blood and bread is flesh tell me it's fine, Jesus, give me just one sign (Oops! I did it Again) Oops!...I did it again I think that I sinned, forgot my Lord's way Oh baby, baby Oops!... I need to repent And seek out God's love I want to be innocent

By: Grangousier

Grangousier — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 12:17:04 -0800

Can you imagine (as I can) a congregation singing these in that vague everybody-in-their-own-key-and time-signature way that congregations have?

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 12:31:18 -0800

the ultimate annoying song: A little bit of Moses in my life A little bit of Jesus by my side A little bit of Matthew is all I need A little bit of Ezekiel is what I see A little bit of Gabriel in the sun A little bit of Mary all night long A little bit of Pharisees here I am A little bit of God makes me your man Worship no. 5! Play that trumpet Gabriel! woo woo! :) Somebody stop me! I've got happy feet!!!!! Sold my soul to Christian rock'n'roll!

By: norm

norm — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 12:34:40 -0800

the metaphor of a potter and clay is a perfectly respectable one. Ok, sure, as long as you're into that submissive role playing and stuff. "While I am waiting/ yielded and still" doesn't raise any questions for you? And then there's the lovely "Let Him have his way with you" which doesn't even need comment.

By: MonkeyMeat

MonkeyMeat — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 12:34:57 -0800

Okay, here we go: Baby Got Book (to the tune of Baby Got Back, by Sir Mix-a-Lot) I like Jee-zuss and I can not lie Franciscan brothers can't deny That when the Savior walks in with that divine face And you hear Amazing Grace You get saved Wanna kneel and pray Cuz you notice God's Son's the Stuff Deeper than those stigmata You know that I just gotta Oh, Jesus I wanna get witcha And read some scripture My pastor tried to warn me But with that Word you got Make me re-born-y! Ooh, all of those Romans You say you wanna die for my sins Well harder, harder cuz you aint that average martyr I've seen them dancin' The hell with romancin' Sweat, sweat, gotta go on and repent I'm tired of magazines Saying decadence is the thing Take the average Christian and ask him that You gotta look the Book Brothers (yeah) Sisters(yeah) Has your household got the Book? (hell yeah) Well read it, read it, read it, read it, read that wholesome Book Baby got Book

By: norm

norm — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 12:37:56 -0800

And someone get a hose for Kafkaesque.

By: Chief Typist

Chief Typist — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 13:20:16 -0800

This past weekend, my girlfriend's brother taught me something pretty damn cool: We sang the lyrics to Amazing Grace to the tune of The House of the Rising Sun Gospel and rock have always had a lot in common (they are both descendants of reels .. an early form of blues.) Listen to Mississippi Fred McDowell for proof. Contemporary Christian music, on the other hand, is devoid of soul.

By: witchstone

witchstone — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 13:23:25 -0800

To the tune of "Personal Jesus" .... Never mind.

By: lawtalkinguy

lawtalkinguy — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 13:30:19 -0800

MonkeyMeat - is that your original creation? I don't see it on the site. If so, "Make me re-born-y" is about the damn funniest thing I've ever seen.

By: starvingartist

starvingartist — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 13:30:28 -0800

You can also sing Amazing Grace to the tune of the Gilligan's Isle theme (and vice versa).

By: starvingartist

starvingartist — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 13:31:33 -0800

MonkeyMeat, did you just make that up, or did you get that from somewhere? 'Cause that's freakin awesome!

By: starvingartist

starvingartist — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 13:34:47 -0800

OK, they re-versed "Michael Rowed the Boat Ashore"... wtf? Isn't that already a spiritual song? What's wrong, is it not spiritual enough?

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 13:37:37 -0800

Another fun pastime, similar to the "between the sheets" game, is to add "in bed" to the end of your fortune cookie fortune. "You will be popular and successful...in bed"

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 13:50:43 -0800

Oh, and MonkeyMeat's "Baby Got Book" totally rocks. "Jesus I wanna get witcha/and read some Scripture" = The funniest thing I've heard in weeks.

By: Tenuki

Tenuki — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:03:34 -0800

I think they watch too much Simpsons... In the Garden of Eden honey, don't you know that I love you. In the Garden of Eden baby, don't you know that I will always be true.

By: kindall

kindall — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:06:09 -0800

The only thing I'd nit-pick on "Baby Got Book" is "hell yeah." Should be "oh yeah" or something if you're trying to totally remove everything interesting about that song and make it Christian.

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:14:23 -0800

I think they watch too much Simpsons... Actually, those are pretty much the actual lyrics to the song. "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" is just a mumbled "In the Garden of Eden".

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:19:03 -0800

I think there may be some sort of peculiar Ocean-Spray conspiracy behind all this. Witness, if you will, Fruit Juice Diet: http://www.ultranet.com/~mari/fruitjuice.htm That's right, friends and neighbors, you too can be guaranteed eternal salvation with just three proof-of-purchases from Ocean-Spray's new Cran-Jesus blend.

By: daver

daver — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:20:13 -0800

You people are amazing. 4 hour song machine. Where was I when this all started? Lemme go get my hymn book...

By: daver

daver — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:22:51 -0800

Anybody have the address to the NWA lyrics site?

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:24:08 -0800

ha! I didn't know there actually WAS a Mambo no. 5 on the site.

By: modofo

modofo — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:34:16 -0800

Daver: here you go.

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:38:04 -0800

"some say they end is near some say we'll see armageddon soon I certainly hope we will I sure could use a vacation from this silly stuff. silly stuff" (repeat) -'tool' as sung by pat boone.

By: dong_resin

dong_resin — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 14:56:29 -0800

This whole thread gives me the willies.

By: lotsofno

lotsofno — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 16:44:58 -0800

oh damn, monkeymeat.. i'm printing that one out.

By: jennaratrix

jennaratrix — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 17:38:57 -0800

If this is a contest, I vote for MonkeyMeat. Thank god I wasn't drinking anything when I read it.

By: Kafkaesque

Kafkaesque — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 18:22:34 -0800

I second that jennaratrix. MonkeyMeat gets my vote paws down.

By: fooljay

fooljay — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 18:25:50 -0800

Sorry about the double-post. I did a search for "Christian lyrics" that came up empty, so I thought I was safe. We should make it a habit to search for both content keywords and the URL...

By: bunnyfire

bunnyfire — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 20:21:50 -0800

hmmm....don't think I will be standing next to most of y'all when the next thunderstorm comes along....... if you heard our worship band(I'm a member) you all would freak. We even have an awesome electric guitar soloist.......and yes, he wails in church, wawa pedal and all.....Jack Chick would have a coronary. And we don't have an organ-unless you count the organ patch on the synthesizer..........

By: MonkeyMeat

MonkeyMeat — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 21:39:34 -0800

Haha- I'm glad to see that people seemed to enjoy "Baby Got Book" as much as I enjoyed writing it. Yes, it IS original, and what I find the funniest about it is that I'm Jewish! I guess I'd feel too guilty about that little piece of blasphemy if I were Christian...

By: headspace

headspace — Tue, 24 Jul 2001 22:00:02 -0800

MonkeyMeat so wins. I take back my weak Britney and toss rosepetals down for "Baby Got Book." So... are you going to submit it for the brownie points?

By: dagnyscott

dagnyscott — Wed, 25 Jul 2001 07:42:31 -0800

I'd love to hear someone try to sing Papal bulls, indulgences, and transubstantiation. Just because. And it wouldn't be a proper fundie site without attacking Catholics.

By: lawtalkinguy

lawtalkinguy — Wed, 25 Jul 2001 08:24:11 -0800

Alright Monkeymeat, now do the other verses! Please!

By: tweebiscuit

tweebiscuit — Thu, 26 Jul 2001 13:05:12 -0800

Isn't this just like filking? (I haven't even bothered to see if that was a real link -- I'm just assuming that it exists, and is dorky.)