Drink Milk!

June 9, 2010 2:05 PM

The A-Team film is filled with sex and violence. Mr T pities the fools.
posted by Artw (127 comments total)

I'm right there with ya, T.
posted by Mister_A at 2:08 PM on June 9, 2010 [5 favorites]

Yes, it would definitely be a better influence on kids if it featured the indiscriminate use of explosives, automatic weapons, and flame throwers, but hand grenades were shown to flip cars over and blow people backwards to the air, otherwise leaving everyone dazed but unharmed, and automatic weapons were only fired over people's heads.

You know, just like elite special forces and their weapons work in real life.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:11 PM on June 9, 2010 [14 favorites]

Disgruntled former actor talks bad to British media about new franchise project that didn't cut him a check. Yawn.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:14 PM on June 9, 2010

When Matt Lauer asked Liam Neeson morning why he was the first one who signed on to the project when, when asked to rate where the original A Team on his personal favorite scale, he gave it a mere 4 our of 10, Neeson said it was:

The strength of the script.


Lauer could barely conceal his eye-roll.

And he's interviewed Donald Trump about Rosie O'Donnell at least once.


Also, in the small town, gun-loving farm town I grew up in, there were some parents who found the cartoon violence of The A-Team questionable.

My parents just didn't let me watch it because it was stupid.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:14 PM on June 9, 2010

In case your delicate sensibilities do not allow you to watch people die onscreen, all five seasons of the original show are on Hulu right now.
(I gleefully got through about five episodes before realizing that after that it's essentially just the exact same plotline/gags again and again but in different places. Nearly no seriality at all.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 2:15 PM on June 9, 2010

My parents just didn't let me watch it because it was stupid.

I submit that your parents are the stupid ones.

no offense
posted by Think_Long at 2:16 PM on June 9, 2010 [3 favorites]

Both Dwight Schultz, who played Murdock

Read this as:

Both Dwight Schrute, who plays Murdock

And was like, I can get behind this adaptation.
posted by Beardman at 2:17 PM on June 9, 2010 [12 favorites]

B.A. Baracus means nothing to me. For me, T will always be Clubber Lang.
posted by box at 2:18 PM on June 9, 2010

Disgruntled former actor talks bad to British media about new franchise project that didn't cut him a check. Yawn.


This is MR T we're talking about here, the very voice of the internet itself.
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:19 PM on June 9, 2010

The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew: (I gleefully got through about five episodes before realizing that after that it's essentially just the exact same plotline/gags again and again but in different places. Nearly no seriality at all."

There were some episodes that had more continuity, I think. There was some development regarding the army guy who was chasing them at times, and there was at least one double episode, something regarding nazis in South America, I think. I remember B.A. stating the obvious at people parading around in nazi uniforms: "They're nazis, Hannibal!"

(Can you tell my childhood was shaped by this stuff?)
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:19 PM on June 9, 2010

What Mr. T most regrets about the "A-Team" movie: they didn't pay him royalties for B.A.'s fro-hawk haircut. (Also the fact that Quinton Jackson looks less like a buffoon in that hair than T. does)
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:20 PM on June 9, 2010

But is there a welding montage?
posted by anti social order at 2:21 PM on June 9, 2010 [16 favorites]

I don't care. Maybe the trailer has all the good parts, but the trailer has people falling out of an exploding airplane in a tank, and the shooting at things with the tank as it's not so much flying as plummeting.

That's crap I can support. All it's missing is that the tank should shoot bees.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:21 PM on June 9, 2010 [8 favorites]

Disgruntled former actor talks bad to British media about new franchise project that didn't cut him a check. Yawn.

"Both Dwight Schultz, who played Murdock, and Dirk Benedict, formerly Faceman, are reported to have filmed cameos for the movie, which will be released this Friday in the US and on 30 July in the UK. However, Mr T apparently refused to make an appearance."

I think you owe the T-Man an apology, chump.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:24 PM on June 9, 2010 [7 favorites]

ROU_Xenophobe: "I don't care. Maybe the trailer has all the good parts, but the trailer has people falling out of an exploding airplane in a tank, and the shooting at things with the tank as it's not so much flying as plummeting."

I enjoyed that scene from the trailer too, although I was thinking, didn't the second Charlie's Angels movie do something similar?

I don't think I'll be seeing the movie, though. Not because I think the series is sacred and my precious childhood memories shouldn't be messed with, but simply because I think it won't be very entertaining or worthwhile.

(I'm more disappointed that by all accounts, Hollywood royally screwed up the movie adaptation of The Losers, which could have been so, so awesome if it was done right, and could easily have turned into a trilogy of fun, smart action movies. Your loss, Hollywood.)
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:26 PM on June 9, 2010

A-Team checklist:

[_] Villagers menaced by goons
[_] Break Murdoch out of mental hospital
[_] I ain't getting on no plane
[_] Milk
[_] Shooting at feet with Ruger Mini 14
[_] Goons lock A-Team in shed full of parts for a tank that fires cabbages
[_] That shot of the van doing a jump where the hubcap falls off
[_] I love it when a plan comes together
posted by Artw at 2:26 PM on June 9, 2010 [62 favorites]

...and then shooting at things with the tank as it's not so much flying as plummeting.

If I gather correctly from the preview not just shooting but attempting to steer the tank by using shooting as a low tech steering wheel.
posted by Babblesort at 2:29 PM on June 9, 2010

Also the fact that Quinton Jackson looks less like a buffoon in that hair than T. does...

Ah, that Quinton Jackson.

"'Acting is kind of gay,' Jackson said. 'It makes you soft. You got all these people combing your hair and putting a coat over your shoulders when you're cold. I don't want a coat over my shoulders! I'm a tough-ass [individual]!'

'Vancouver strikes me as a San Francisco-kind of place,' he continued. 'And I don't want [individuals] getting ideas about me. I feel in my heart I'm the toughest [individual] on the planet. And I don't want nothing changing my train of thought. If you don't believe that when we step inside the octagon, it shows.'"

posted by ericb at 2:29 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

which some consider one of its most amusingly silly traits.

condescending douchebags.
posted by ServSci at 2:30 PM on June 9, 2010

Goons lock A-Team in shed full of parts for a tank that fires cabbages

My favorite plan was the one where the loggers locked the team up in a warehouse with like logging stuff and a bulldozer and the crew decides to build a log shooting tank but first BA has to bust the support beam he is chained to which he does not problem because, duh, and then they bust out of the warehouse and shoot a bunch of logs into limousines driven by mafia people and . . . wheez. . . BUM bum BUMMMM . . Bum bum bum . Bum dum da dummmm. . . BUm bum bum bum BUMMM
posted by Think_Long at 2:31 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

A-Team checklist:

You forgot Faceman doing some sort of disguise thing, sucka!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:32 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Meh. The originals were a hoot, but they were from a different era altogether. I might end up seeing the remake on DVD and then only to see what Sharlto Copley does with Murdock.
posted by New England Cultist at 2:32 PM on June 9, 2010

If I was driving a tank that fell out of an airplane in an action movie I would just wait till the tank was about to hit the ground and I would shoot a rocket (tanks shoot rockets right) straight down which would then explode and stop my downward momentum and bounce me back up in the air and then I would land on the treads after falling only a few hundred feet no worse for wear. Then I would say "I guess I have a lot to be TANKFUL for!"
posted by ND¢ at 2:33 PM on June 9, 2010 [43 favorites]

Does everyone have a secret list of things that delight them, or is it just me? In any case, in mine, Mr. T used to be ranked right between Fro-Yo and calypso music. But now I've got to say "Move over, calypso. Mr. T is climbing the ladder!"

Seriously, from his 80's cartoon about a mystery-solving gymnastics team, to his destructive campaign against allergens, to this, the man has never failed to amuse me.
posted by .kobayashi. at 2:34 PM on June 9, 2010

You forgot Faceman doing some sort of disguise thing, sucka!

Yeah, but I was a kid and he was usually involved in all the kissing bits, and I didn't like them. Also he never dressed up as a Cylon or Godzilla.
posted by Artw at 2:34 PM on June 9, 2010

Mr. T gave Mickey a heart attack.
posted by Dick Laurent is Dead at 2:35 PM on June 9, 2010

If I'd bothered to think about it, I would have assumed that the lack of sex and violence (graphic bloody stuff and death) in the A-Team in the 80s was due to it being on prime-time TV, not because it was a show with great morals. I understand Mr. T's point, but, seriously, that's what happens when you remake TV shows as movies.

(Totally going to see the movie for the eye candy. Neeson and Cooper, mrow!)
posted by immlass at 2:36 PM on June 9, 2010

Ah but now we know he could have been a cylon all along disguised as a Vietnam vet.
posted by Babblesort at 2:36 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew: "In case your delicate sensibilities do not allow you to watch people die onscreen, all five seasons of the original show are on Hulu right now."

All 5 are also on Netflix Instant.
posted by brundlefly at 2:36 PM on June 9, 2010

Then I would say "I guess I have a lot to be TANKFUL for!"

I would take the unlit cigar out of my mouth and say "That was TREADful!"
posted by Think_Long at 2:39 PM on June 9, 2010 [6 favorites]

I would totally approve funds for a film featuring tank-based rocket-jumping and shitty puns.
posted by Artw at 2:41 PM on June 9, 2010

I loved The A-Team as much as the next kid when it originally aired. I was ten years old, and my tastes were...a work in progress, as they are for most people at that age. When TNT (I think) started re-running it during the mid-'90s I was pretty excited...until I actually watched it. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, but as an adult you'd have to be pretty high on it to actually enjoy that crap. Between The A-Team, The Dukes Of Hazzard and Knight Rider I figure I probably brain-damaged myself to the tune of 10 or 20 IQ points. These shows were all terrible - these days they don't even hold up as fun/bad - and to use the words "sacred" or "precious" to describe them is a terrible misuse of the English language.

/ not directed at you, Joakim Ziegler...I just hate how every time someone adapts anything from the '80s the internet flips out - ZOMG MICHAEL BAY RAPED MY CHILDHOOD!!!!11!1 - as though Transformers and The A-Team were the modern-day equivalent of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer or Peter Pan

/ that said, the original series had a certain charming naivety that the movie, it appears, will go out of its way to avoid in an effort to cram more blood and tits in
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:42 PM on June 9, 2010 [7 favorites]

I would land the tank upside down and the large-breasted woman I had just saved from the crashing plane would fall out of her seat and then I would fall out of mine and land comically face-first into her large breasts and I would look up and say "TANKS for the MAMMARIES!"
posted by ND¢ at 2:42 PM on June 9, 2010 [10 favorites]

I loved watching The A-Team and I was excited when I heard about the movie. Then I saw the previews. The movie looks horrible. The show may have been repetitive and "cartoonish" but that's the way I liked it. Complete with Mr. T and his lessons for children.
posted by lilkeith07 at 2:43 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

When TNT (I think) started re-running it during the mid-'90s I was pretty excited...until I actually watched it. Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, but as an adult you'd have to be pretty high on it to actually enjoy that crap.

It's funny, because when TNT first aired the reruns, I was probably the same age as you were during the original run. I assure you, it was just as awesome for a child of the nineties as it was for a child of the eighties.
posted by Think_Long at 2:44 PM on June 9, 2010

A-Team checklist:

You forgot Faceman doing some sort of disguise thing, sucka!

AAaaaaaand, let's not leave out the 'jeep hits scraggy bush and flips onto it's roof for no reason'.

I guess even bushes are uber tough in the A-team.
posted by Brockles at 2:44 PM on June 9, 2010

"I ain't getting on no plane"

Followed by the rest of the team hypnotizing, concussing, and/or drugging T and dumping him on said plane anyway. That man had the greatest capacity for forgiveness of any 80s action TV character. I mean, sure, it was always for a good cause, but how many skull fractures can one man reasonably take before he machine guns the rest of the team? I waited and waited, but it never happened.

Anyway, this new movie might be fun if they play it in an over the top, Sergio Leone meets Deer Hunter mode. Sort of like Tropic Thunder, but with better jokes. Here's hoping.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:46 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Presumably Mr. T's statement will mean some loss of revenue for the movie -- a dust speck in the grand scheme of things, maybe, but probably in the hundreds of thousands of dollars; certainly if he'd been on board actively promoting it, the movie would have made that much more.

So, presumably, he could have said to the studio, "hey, I don't like your movie. Pay me 10 grand not to say anything bad about it, or 100 grand to say some good things."

Instead, he just straight-up badmouthed the movie, which by all accounts is a terrible movie. Good on you, Mr. T.
posted by gurple at 2:47 PM on June 9, 2010 [3 favorites]

Between The A-Team, The Dukes Of Hazzard and Knight Rider I figure I probably brain-damaged myself to the tune of 10 or 20 IQ points.

Manimal, Automan and Streethawk get no love... Airwolf, you suffered indignities at the hands of a German then died in a crash for NOTHING!
posted by Artw at 2:49 PM on June 9, 2010 [3 favorites]

> I assure you, it was just as awesome for a child of the nineties as it was for a child of the eighties.

The decade doesn't matter as long as you're about a decade old.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:49 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Whatever happened to shows like that anyway? They seem to have just gone entirely.
posted by Artw at 2:51 PM on June 9, 2010

They're probably too expensive to produce in an age of falling TV ratings.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:53 PM on June 9, 2010

...I also forgot Decker turning up too late.

Season Five sounds like a plate of crap - did they even show any of that in the UK?
posted by Artw at 2:56 PM on June 9, 2010

If I was driving a tank that fell out of an airplane in an action movie

...I would climb out and ride down on the gun barrel, waving my ten-gallon hat around and hootin' and hollerin' like T.J. "King" Kong hisself.

Then I would die. Messily.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:57 PM on June 9, 2010

I'm with Mr T. This is a travesty! In protest, I will not be paying my hard-earned money to view this excremental piece of cinema. Instead, I will watch only '80s fashion shows themed around wholesome self-expression featuring strapping lads in suspenders and plaid shirts leaping about in slow motion, and other related wholesome entertainments.

I will watch them over and over and over again. Oh yes.
posted by gompa at 3:00 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

All I'm sayin' is that this is looking more like a generic action film and less like The A-Team. The A-team is goofy and cartoony and harmless, and that was the charm of it.
posted by Mister_A at 3:04 PM on June 9, 2010 [3 favorites]

I would aim the tank at the Gulf of Mexico and when it hit the water I would steer really hard and would end up jamming the barrel square into the oil leak. Then I would open the back tank door and swim to the surface (deep breath since I would be 5,000 feet down) and they would pull me up on the deck of the oil platform and that English BP douche would look at his computer screen and go "Crikey! You've completely stopped the oil spill! How can we ever thank you?" And I'd say "No need to thank me. It's OIL in a day's work." And when everybody was laughing I would reach over and give a friendly feather ruffle to a little oil covered duck with a big grin on my face.
posted by ND¢ at 3:06 PM on June 9, 2010 [10 favorites]

Complete with Mr. T and his lessons for children.

Oh man oh man this explains one of my more disturbing adolescent memories.

So, the debate team is at a meet outta town and it's between rounds and I'm a shy mousy teenager and there's some older dudes on the team and they think that it would be a laff riot to give me this comix -- was it National Lampoon's? I dunno.

Anyway, in it Mr. T interrupts this college couple having sort of crappy sex and instructs the guy how to find the girl's G spot.

That's where I first learned about the G spot. From a cartoon Mr. T.
posted by angrycat at 3:08 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

You forgot Faceman doing some sort of disguise thing, sucka!

Wasn't it Hannibal with the disguises? My memories are vague, as I was way too young to watch that show but did anyway (usually at the babysitter's house).
posted by peep at 3:10 PM on June 9, 2010

and that English BP douche would look at his computer screen and go "Crikey! You've completely stopped the oil spill! How can we ever thank you?"

Technically since BP is an international company the douchey guy could be off any nationality... oh who am I kidding? Cast John Oliver.
posted by Artw at 3:10 PM on June 9, 2010

the trailer has people falling out of an exploding airplane in a tank, and the shooting at things with the tank as it's not so much flying as plummeting.

This reminds me of an achievement that I'm looking forward to in the upcoming Crackdown 2:

Victory Roll - Alone or with another Agent, kill an enemy with a mounted turret while airborne and upside-down!

Also:

Yippee-Kai-Yay - Drive an Agency SUV into an airborne helicopter.
posted by kmz at 3:10 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

See, that's an A-Team movie.
posted by Mister_A at 3:10 PM on June 9, 2010

i hope i'm the first one here to link to mr t's famous mother video! now that would make a good addition to the closing credits.
posted by lester's sock puppet at 3:10 PM on June 9, 2010

Wasn't it Hannibal with the disguises?

Hannibal only does Cylons and Godzilla! And occasionally being an old man or wearing a dress.
posted by Artw at 3:11 PM on June 9, 2010

He had that old man bit down, man.
posted by Mister_A at 3:12 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

I had an A-Team graphic novel (well, really just like 4 or 5 A-Team comic stories in one volume). It was better than the show because they could put in a lot more exposition and explosions. Also, they managed to drug B.A. and put him on a passenger plane, seated next to an octogenarian who talked to herself the whole time, and B.A. would mumble things in response that were really non-sequiters. I loved that comic. It was great bathroom reading for a 12 year old.
posted by daq at 3:12 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Mr. T is an idiot. The A-Team movie is filled with explosions, free-falling tanks, plans, and the people who love them when they come together.

I'm one of those people.
posted by Pastabagel at 3:15 PM on June 9, 2010

I loved the A-team as a kid. Even as I got a little older and realized how cheesy it was, it was still worth watching and a not to be missed show for my brother and I.

I had mixed feelings when I saw that a movie was coming. But...the whole tank sequence? Seriously? There is cheese and then there is cheese so rancid as to not be enjoyable anymore.
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:15 PM on June 9, 2010

> In protest, I will not be paying my hard-earned money to view this excremental piece of cinema.

gompa, you and I can only hope that this movie fails to recoup its investment.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:15 PM on June 9, 2010

If they were smart, they would have made the entire movie out of Silly Bandz.
posted by orme at 3:16 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

He had that old man bit down, man.

Sometimes he would not actually be in the Godzilla costume at all, and Faceman would assume he was and open the neck hatch(?) to pop in a cigar, and it would catch fire.
posted by Artw at 3:16 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

(Please nobody tell my wife who Templeton Peck is untill the ink on th birth certificate is dry.)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:17 PM on June 9, 2010

Also, I liked this:

But then I thought about how the plots of [Sex and the City 2] and the A-Team actually converge into the same movie. See, what happens is that the girls go to Abu Dhabi where their wacky vaginas get them into yet another jam with the religious police, so it falls to the A-Team to weld a hat on a duck and bust them out. Murdoch disguised in a burqa hacks a/the computer and they crash their van into the Dome of the Rock to launch their surprise attack. Faceman then sweet talks all the gay arab clerics, B.A. shoots evil mastermind Manolo Blahnik in the foot, the duck recovers the vaginas, and cars flip over and explode but the drivers crawl out. Finally, at the culmination of a daring helicopter dogfight, Hannibal releases their girls from their prison cell in the Nordstrom Rack high atop the Burj Dubai. "I love it when a plan comes together," says Hannibal, and kicks Samantha off the roof. Fin.

posted by Pastabagel at 3:19 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Mr. T will probably want to have a word with the first person to suggest that the movie might be different.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 3:21 PM on June 9, 2010

Season Five sounds like a plate of crap - did they even show any of that in the UK?
posted by Artw at 10:56 PM on June 9 [+] [!]

Yeah, I've seen bits of this season recently in the UK (on Bravo?). You're right - it's toss.
posted by jonnyploy at 3:30 PM on June 9, 2010

Best A-Team moment: Dirk Benedict and his nemesis ("Steel" episode on Hulu, scene at 6:41)
posted by zippy at 3:32 PM on June 9, 2010

My God, I forgot all about the A-Team seance (!!!). Please PLEASE tell me that happened.

In any argument, you gotta take Mr. T's side. So that's that. I'm all for sex and violence in my movies, but The A-Team really was for kids. They should have called this something else.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:34 PM on June 9, 2010

Husband and I have been watching episodes recently on netflix streaming. We've been enjoying the predictability with which each episode will have every element of that A-team check list. The only thing missing is "Hannibal's on the jazz again..." Would the modern movie version of "the jazz" be, like, coke or something?
posted by zorrine at 3:43 PM on June 9, 2010

The best thing about watching the A-Team was that all of my classmates (the boys, anyway) watched it too, so it gave me just a little bit of social currency to spend every week. I myself thought Airwolf was a superior show, and indeed - the Comcast episode descriptions always read, "The better of two 1984 helicopter shows."
posted by usonian at 3:43 PM on June 9, 2010

To be fair, though, Blue Thunder was a much cooler-looking helicopter.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:45 PM on June 9, 2010

Blue Thunder looked more like an actual attack helicopter though.
posted by Artw at 3:47 PM on June 9, 2010

Dammit Kittens.
posted by Artw at 3:47 PM on June 9, 2010

Heh! (it's true, though!)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:47 PM on June 9, 2010

Also: Airwolf was supposed to be built by Colonel Kadaffi.
posted by Artw at 3:47 PM on June 9, 2010

Ok I'm trying to not get too excited here but it appears the whole of the Boy George episode is on youtube! OK terrible quality... but it's the Boy George episode!

Warning: do not watch within close proximity of the Phil Collins Miami Vice ep or dangerous levels of 80sness may ensue
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:47 PM on June 9, 2010

At the beginning of Quincy Quincy would show people the body of someone who had watched the two shows too close together.

yeah, I know, Quincy only ran until 1983...
posted by Artw at 3:51 PM on June 9, 2010

(it's actually a puppet show using internal organs)
posted by Artw at 3:51 PM on June 9, 2010

I can't listen to Phil Collins without wanting to murder prostitutes, y'know?
posted by Mister_A at 3:53 PM on June 9, 2010

Here is my problem: they didn't just decide to do a retake on the concept, they went to the local beauty college in order to get the actors to look like George Peppard, et al. "Let's take George Peppard's beautiful hair, and then make it look like he's in a Maxim clothing ad from 2008. Profit!"

I really don't need to see actors portraying other actors portraying characters.

Seriously, what next, a Kojak who isn't a greek guy? Oh wait.

I can't listen to Phil Collins without wanting to murder prostitutes, y'know?

I can't listen to Phil Collins without imagining dudes on power boats doing drug deals. Remember, the plot twist comes at the drum solo.
posted by gjc at 4:00 PM on June 9, 2010

Eat Cereal! With Milk! Fool.
posted by battleshipkropotkin at 4:07 PM on June 9, 2010

When Matt Lauer asked Liam Neeson morning why he was the first one who signed on to the project when, when asked to rate where the original A Team on his personal favorite scale, he gave it a mere 4 our of 10, Neeson said it was:

The strength of the script.

Lauer could barely conceal his eye-roll.

Dude was in Phantom Menace. If Baracus drinks midichlorians, Neeson fucked up, otherwise A Team is a strong script, like, by definition. Hell, I bet it's better than Taken too. Then again, I saw Taken in-flight on an airplane. Probably how I'll see A Team too.
posted by Humanzee at 4:11 PM on June 9, 2010

Heh. I'll forgive him because at least he had the decency to die, and hey! It's Star Wars!

On the other hand, it really fucking sucked, and anyone of any stature involved was really kind of whoring it really.

If you look at the Star Wars cast there's an awful lot of people who are great but also appear in an awful lot of shit: See: Samuel L. Jackson, Ewan McGregor, Christopher Lee as Count Dookus.
posted by Artw at 4:21 PM on June 9, 2010

Count Dookus at least has a cereal named after him.
posted by Mister_A at 4:22 PM on June 9, 2010

Artw: "Heh. I'll forgive him because at least he had the decency to die, and hey! It's Star Wars!"

But then he followed it up immediately with the Haunting remake. *shudder*
posted by brundlefly at 4:31 PM on June 9, 2010

Ok, so I just started watching the 5th season of A-Team, because I don't recall it ever happening. WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THE THEME SONG?
posted by hanoixan at 4:31 PM on June 9, 2010

On the other hand, it really fucking sucked, and anyone of any stature involved was really kind of whoring it really.

You dont work on a Star Wars flick and get to see a script in advance though. Plus you get contractually obligated to a trilogy. So I can excuse the appearances, if not some of the performances.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 4:33 PM on June 9, 2010

Thanks a lot, MetaFilter! Thanks to this thread I have the theme song stuck in my head.
posted by brundlefly at 4:35 PM on June 9, 2010

If you look at the Star Wars cast there's an awful lot of people who are great but also appear in an awful lot of shit: See: Samuel L. Jackson, Ewan McGregor, Christopher Lee as Count Dookus.

You can add Terence Stamp and Brian Blessed to that... also I'm sure Celia Imrie just wandered in by accident or something.

Actually how the hell did Ben Kingsley escape his clutches?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:35 PM on June 9, 2010

fearfulsymmetry: "Actually how the hell did Ben Kingsley escape his clutches?"

He was too busy getting his hair ready for A Sound of Thunder.
posted by brundlefly at 4:39 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Well, it's not like if asked to have anything to do with anything Star Wars related I wouldn't totally whore it.

In related derails, I read some Boba Fett comics recently written by John Wagner and illustarted by a bunch of 2000ad artists, and they turned out to be really good. Very much in the mode of Strontium Dog, though Fett himself isn't as Chatty as Johnny Alpha and there's no Wulf.
posted by Artw at 4:39 PM on June 9, 2010

When Ben Kingsley appears in crap it's generally a completely different grade of crap, like crap squared.
posted by Artw at 4:40 PM on June 9, 2010

He was too busy getting his hair ready for A Sound of Thunder.

Dear God!
posted by Artw at 4:42 PM on June 9, 2010

When Ben Kingsley appears in crap it's generally a completely different grade of crap, like crap squared.

I often wonder about some of these actors that seem to take paycheck role after paycheck role ... "Dude, Ben. You have an Oscar, a BAFTA and several other accolades. You're Sir Ben Kingsley, fer Chrissakes. Who the fuck is your financial advisor that you need to do this? May I interest you in a fucking Treasury bill? How about some stock in Proctor and Gamble?"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:48 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

The A-Team film is filled with sex and violence.

This revelation has been brought to you by Professor No-Shit Sherlock from the Obviousness Studies Department at Duuuuhhhhh! University.
posted by jonmc at 4:55 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Are there Daisy Dukes in this film?
posted by Crabby Appleton at 4:57 PM on June 9, 2010

Disgruntled former actor talks bad to British media about new franchise project that didn't cut him a check. Yawn.

Huh? Sounds more like he just didn't like the stupid movie.
posted by Liquidwolf at 5:07 PM on June 9, 2010

Ok I'm trying to not get too excited here but it appears the whole of the Boy George episode is on youtube!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:47 PM on June 9

Didn't Mr. T at some point in that episode say something like "Shut up fool! Culture Club is my favourite group!" As if the scene with a roomful of cowboys getting down to Culture Club's music wasn't enough of a strain on my kiddie credulity...

Then again, this same show once featured a helicopter crashing into a cliff, then toppling down a hundred feet to the ground, only to have the passengers crawl out in a daze twenty seconds later.

God I miss eighties television. Bad ain't ever been so good.
posted by spoobnooble at 5:23 PM on June 9, 2010 [2 favorites]

Diss the A-Team all you want, but the original Miami Vice/Phil Collins moment is fucking gold.
posted by Bookhouse at 5:26 PM on June 9, 2010 [3 favorites]

Bookhouse, that is the longest segment of Miami Vice I've ever seen (no TV back in the day). Would you say it's better than most of the show or worse? (Sadly, I think I had No Jacket Required on cassette.)

Also, I'm not sure who the female opposite him on the phone was, but isn't he about a 9.5 to her 6? Which is kind of refreshing, I guess.
posted by maxwelton at 5:58 PM on June 9, 2010

William Shatner was apparently pissed off that they didn't let him be in the latest Star Trek movie, too. I'm pretty sure there are few things more bitter than washed up old tv stars who can't really act.
posted by crunchland at 6:09 PM on June 9, 2010

To be fair to The Shat, evidently he had first been promised (though not contractually) an appearance, but then Abrams changed his mind and decided that one original series actor appearance was enough. And this is the movie that restored legitimacy to a franchise he was key in helping build that had been sucking for a long, long time. I can understand the dude getting upset at that.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:25 PM on June 9, 2010

I really don't need to see actors portraying other actors portraying characters.

Oh yeah? Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder.

Good day. I said good day Sir!
posted by misha at 6:35 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

That's where I first learned about the G spot. From a cartoon Mr. T.

These things happen. I learned about the birds and bees from an article in a Reader's Digest collection "How to Tell Your Kids About Sex."
posted by emjaybee at 7:08 PM on June 9, 2010

William Shatner was apparently pissed off that they didn't let him be in the latest Star Trek movie, too. I'm pretty sure there are few things more bitter than washed up old tv stars who can't really act.

Uhh, Shatner's been the butt of a lot of jokes over time, but:

In 2004, Shatner won his first Emmy Award for his role as “Denny Crane” on The Practice. In 2005, he won his first Golden Globe award and a second Emmy Award for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series for his work on Boston Legal. In 2009, Shatner won a Streamy Award in the category of Best Reality Web Series.

So I mean, really, he could probably have gotten through a five-minute cameo in a summer popcorn movie without lowering the tone all that much.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:13 PM on June 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

My favourite part from the originals was when they fired automatic weapons at each other from 20 feet away, and nobody ever got hit. The reason there was nobody dying in the original, Mr T, is because you were all terrible shots.
posted by antifuse at 7:16 PM on June 9, 2010

I don't like that Face is all PEW PEW PEW I'm A Badass. I mean, the point of the A-Team was they were disparate misfits who were clever and knew each other in and out, not that they were all grizzled super soldiers. It gave the characters a lot more... well, character.
posted by absalom at 7:38 PM on June 9, 2010

I'm saddened no one mentioned T's need for work, and subsequent rehearsal as Torvald in A Doll's House
posted by oldefortran at 7:54 PM on June 9, 2010

I often wonder about some of these actors that seem to take paycheck role after paycheck role

"I have never seen the film, but by all accounts it was terrible. However I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific." -- Michael Caine (on Jaws: The Revenge)
posted by kirkaracha at 8:13 PM on June 9, 2010 [4 favorites]

When I was a kid, I was THE BIGGEST A-TEAM FAN EVER. We used to play A-Team on the playground. I always wanted to be Hannibal because he was in charge, but the boys with whom I played always made me be stupid old Amy. I moved schools just before 5th grade and showed up with my full-on A-Team gear at school -- camo shirt, camo jacket, jeans...hell, I even had camo patterned SHOES. Suffice it to say the girls at my new school were NOT impressed. They were continually trying to talk me into dressing more...umm... girly.

This new movie makes me sad, fool. (But I will probably go see it anyway).
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:54 PM on June 9, 2010

Mr T thinks something's too violent? More like "Drink Milque"!
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:56 PM on June 9, 2010

you know, dirk benedict has played some iconic roles
posted by angrycat at 8:58 PM on June 9, 2010

I loved the A-Team because it was a campy show that did not take itself seriously. This movie looks like it takes itself way too seriously. I am with Mr. T all the way on this one...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 9:08 PM on June 9, 2010

I was shocked when my wife told me that she had never seen the A-Team. We made it halfway through the first episode on Hulu before she gave up.

It's amazing we're together.
posted by daHIFI at 9:31 PM on June 9, 2010

Either you can enjoy a film where people escape a crashing plane by "flying" a tank, or you can'
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:47 AM on June 10, 2010

Because I know someone involved in it, I'm actually a little sad that A-Team knock-off The Losers tanked but boy oh boy that was a terrible film, dumb but not fun.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 1:49 AM on June 10, 2010

I’m a night elf mohawk!
posted by sidesh0w at 4:29 AM on June 10, 2010

I often wonder about some of these actors that seem to take paycheck role after paycheck role ...

Dirty secret of acting: If you get along with the director, crew, and other actors, making a bad movie can be as much or more fun than making a good movie.

Some actors are personally invested in the artistic quality of the final product, but some just enjoy the day-to-day process of making a movie, e.g. Samuel Jackson.
posted by straight at 9:04 AM on June 10, 2010

Bookhouse, that is the longest segment of Miami Vice I've ever seen (no TV back in the day). Would you say it's better than most of the show or worse?

I unironically love that moment from the pilot, and its essential in establishing the Michael Mann tone that would pervade the best moments of the show, so I'd say its better than most of it.

(and maybe she was a six, but that's because it was real.)


I often wonder about some of these actors that seem to take paycheck role after paycheck role ...

It's probably because they enjoy both their work and money.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:16 AM on June 10, 2010

Alexandra Kitty: "This movie looks like it takes itself way too seriously."

Really? It looks incredibly (and consciously) silly to me.
posted by brundlefly at 10:32 AM on June 10, 2010

Really? It looks incredibly (and consciously) silly to me.

Agreed. In case anybody missed it - they escape a crashing plane IN A TANK.
posted by antifuse at 1:18 PM on June 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

"The A-Team” is an incomprehensible mess with the 1980s TV show embedded inside
posted by never used baby shoes at 1:27 PM on June 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

Drat. Ebert's review sounds pretty comprehensive, and it isn't good. After reading this thread I was kind of looking forward to seeing the movie, but not if it's another of those quick cut shakyfests that Hollywood seems to love so much these days. Whatever happened to actually showing action in action movies?
posted by Kevin Street at 1:48 PM on June 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

If anybody wants to see an updated A-Team, they don't have to go to the movies. Leverage is about to start season 3 and at this point it's a bad rehash of the old A-Team show. It's not that bad, but I thought the first season was a little better when it was the "bad guys doing bad things to people who deserve it" bit. Which was what the original UK show was about. Both have devolved into the campy and punny shtick.
posted by P.o.B. at 3:10 PM on June 10, 2010

> After reading this thread I was kind of looking forward to seeing the movie, but not if it's another of those quick cut shakyfests that Hollywood seems to love so much these days.

I think a pretty good general rule of thumb is that you should avoid any film where the trailer includes a shot of a CGI car/truck/other vehicle flying towards the camera until it fills the screen and the screen goes black.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:13 AM on June 11, 2010

As seen @ 1:50 of this trailer.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:17 AM on June 11, 2010

I was 13 years old when the show started, and I could see it was crap. I preferred Riptide. They had a computer guy on their show.

The one thing I thought was cool on The A-Team was that they made stuff (welding montage!) and that the crazy dude could fly anything at a moment's notice.
posted by artlung at 4:54 PM on June 13, 2010

Er, that's two things.
posted by artlung at 5:14 PM on June 13, 2010