July 26, 2001

12:23 AM

T new that "Niggaz" stuff would lead to no good...."And now, flush with grant money from a fellowship supported by Jewish big shots like Steven Spielberg, Charles Bronfman and others, Ms. Bleyer and her post-collegiate buddies are busily working on bringing this new cool-Jew magazine to life. The first issue is due in January. They have assigned some articles and taken some photos, and they also have a title: Heeb, as in the old ethnic slur, short for "Hebrew." "
posted by BGM (27 comments total)

Oops, that should have been I knew that... I need sleep...
posted by BGM at 12:25 AM on July 26, 2001

Just one more thing...
Ms. Bleyer emphasized the practical terms of calling the magazine Heeb: "Oh, come on–didn’t you hear it and say, ‘I have to write about this for The Observer’?" she asked over brunch. However, since Heeb put up a Web site, at heebmagazine.com, Ms. Bleyer said she’s received some angry e-mails. "There are actually some people, who are fairly prominent in the Jewish community, who have written me some nasty e-mails, who definitely said that they’re offended by the name," she said. Not that Ms. Bleyer seemed to mind offending more conservative Jews. The joke on the Heeb staff, she said, is that anything too offensive for Heeb will go in "our sister magazine, Kike."
posted by BGM at 12:36 AM on July 26, 2001

Gotta love their byline... "The New Jew Review".

I guess advertisers have found a hip new target market to exploit; young, repressed, fashion oriented neurotics with lots of guilt and discretionary income. Ripe pickings there...

What's next? A kosher malt liquor flavored like Jewish wine?

Heeb Brew.
posted by insomnia_lj at 12:57 AM on July 26, 2001

How long, d'you suppose, before Heeb includes ads for Yid?
posted by Bixby23 at 1:20 AM on July 26, 2001

What's next? A kosher malt liquor flavored like Jewish wine?

Heeb Brew.

Already exists.... He'brew. Brought to you by the Shmaltz Brewing Company. I have a few pint glasses from them that my roommate got at last year's SF beer festival. The two slogans on the glass:

"Don't pass out. Passover."
"The Chosen Beer."

They have a Messiah Stout and a Genesis Ale.

This is so great. It confirms my belief that there is a young, Jewish subculture waiting to explode into something mainstream. My dreams of a rap star named "Kid Kosher" will finally be realized. Oh joyous day!
posted by jewishbuddha at 2:49 AM on July 26, 2001

But you've already got Ellen Dow, who is a veteran of Yiddish theatre and a very well known rapper... she was the one who performed "Rapper's Delight" in The Wedding Singer, after all. Or what about Olam, who have a funky klezmer version of Hava Negila with rapper "Boogie Night"... or The Rabbinical School Dropouts with their new age meets new wave world beat sensibilities? Or Doc Moshe, the Hanukkah homeboy? There are also L.A. rappers Blood of Abraham, or the heavy metal Hasidic rock of Yossi Piamenta.

There's also Rick Rubin and Russell Simmons who founded DefJam Records or this other band called the Beastie Boys, but they don't really count.
posted by insomnia_lj at 3:47 AM on July 26, 2001

It was always spelt "Hebe" in my experience, which is from American Lit.
"Heeb" might be the cool postmodern spelling.
posted by flowerdale at 4:14 AM on July 26, 2001

To me, the best part of this article:

"We should write something about Lizzie Grubman," Ms. Bleyer said. "I was just thinking that."

"Oh, I’m all over it," Ms. Schwartzman said. "I’ve been following every, every story."

"We also want to be the magazine that gives big props to Monica and Chandra," Ms. Bleyer said. "Like, Jewish sluts of the world, unite!"
posted by ColdChef at 5:43 AM on July 26, 2001

ohmigod, i KNOW this girl! she rules, absolutely. we went to DC for the voters' march/"inauguration" together. glad to see she's making the news. she's the coolest.
posted by cadence at 5:46 AM on July 26, 2001

aiiiee. This made me cringe, repeatedly. And not the heeb thing; I've never even heard that slur before.

A magazine to try to find a connection between Judaism and the mode du jour? I mean, interviews with the Beatie Boys, Ben Folds and Whoopie Goldberg are one thing, laurels for Monica and her sisters the other "Jewish sluts" are quite another.

Don't we make fun of Christian magazines that try to be cool? Well, apart from the people who read them, I suppose... What this article doesn't mention is that their target is women. I can't see many males will be picking it up. As with Cosmo, the very concept causes me to make a face and consider mocking it in a link elsewhere.

Cadence: "She's the coolest"? It's amazing how a piece of journalism can make cool people look like absolute dorks.

Now then, I think I will get back to putting on my tefillin.
posted by Marquis at 6:25 AM on July 26, 2001

I hope it has a Heebie-Jeebies section to discuss topics that gives them the willies.
posted by pracowity at 6:40 AM on July 26, 2001

This is nauseating. Jewish culture devoid of connection with God is nauseating and embarrassing. And fake.
posted by ParisParamus at 6:43 AM on July 26, 2001

Re: Jewish Rappers: That Paul Barman guy they mentioned is an absolute riot to anyone with a raunchy sense of humor... and wait until I bust onto the scene as Ice Berg!

Other musical Jews: Beck, Bob Dylan, Perry Farrell (who now spins as DJ Peretz), among others. There's also this book if you just cain't git enough.

But aside from that, I'm a firm believer in a secular Jewish culture. Jews have been crammed into ghettos long enough that a culture independent of the religion has developed. We don't scold Italians for having a culture independent of Catholicism...
posted by MonkeyMeat at 7:07 AM on July 26, 2001

A magazine to try to find a connection between Judaism and the mode du jour?

"Mode du Jew", I'm sure you meant to write.

And my favorite Jew is currently Jon Stewart. If they run a lot of Jon Stewart interviews and articles, I might pick up some copies and I'm a black-hearted atheist!
posted by frenetic at 7:32 AM on July 26, 2001

"I hope it has a Heebie-Jeebies section to discuss topics that gives them the willies."

HAHAHAHAHHA

That was a great one pracowity !!!!

I will smile the rest of the day because of that one. ;-)
posted by a3matrix at 7:56 AM on July 26, 2001

This is nauseating. Jewish culture devoid of connection with God is nauseating and embarrassing. And fake.

I couldn't have said it better. Thanks ParisParamus.

But aside from that, I'm a firm believer in a secular Jewish culture. Jews have been crammed into ghettos long enough that a culture independent of the religion has developed.

Independent of the religion? I don't think so. Not centered around it, sure, but independent of our most basic commonality? Not really.

And even if there were a secular Jewish culture completely devoid of all connection to Judaism itself, I'm sure that there are more enlightening things to explore and write about it than puff pieces to celebrate famous "Jewish sluts," chronicles of the nauseating Lizzie Grubman and efforts to twist and turn everything this vapid young woman sees to "find the Jewish connection."
posted by Dreama at 7:59 AM on July 26, 2001

> We don't scold Italians for having a culture independent
> of Catholicism...

Well, Catholics without Catholicism would sound a bit odd, but I know what you mean and I think almost everyone else does, too.

Jews are a people in a way that Catholics are not. You look up Jew in a dictionary and it says "one of a scattered group of people that traces its descent from the Biblical Hebrews" and that a Hebrew is "a member of the Semitic peoples inhabiting ancient Palestine" and so on, but you look up Catholic and find "a member of a Catholic church." When people go a long time without a country, they develop a topography they can carry with them.

Still, this magazine looks as if it's going to be a bit of a Jewish People. Blechh.
posted by pracowity at 8:10 AM on July 26, 2001

Paul Barman is frickin awesome.
posted by Sellersburg/Speed at 8:33 AM on July 26, 2001

yeah, i saw this last night & alternately thought "hmm, that's interesting" and "geez, that's really dumb". i had the same thought the other day at the san francisco jewish film festival, where smiling young things were selling t-shirts reading "jewcy" as they called out "support young jewish activists!". i felt old as i turned to my friend and said "um, activists for what?"
posted by judith at 9:09 AM on July 26, 2001

It was always spelt "Hebe" in my experience, which is from American Lit. "Heeb" might be the cool postmodern spelling.

Hebe: "The goddess of youth and spring, represented as having been originally the cup-bearer of Olympus; hence applied fig. to: a. A waitress, a barmaid; b. A woman in her early youth."

hebe: "A derogatory term for a Jew."

heeb: "var. HEBE"

I suppose it could be a cool postmodern spelling.
posted by rschram at 9:53 AM on July 26, 2001

I just suprised nobody has mentioned the ever entertaining Klezmatics. The "Jews With Horns" album is just awesome.
posted by Apoch at 9:55 AM on July 26, 2001

I would buy this magazine, if only because the interview cracked me up, and because I am a fan of irreverance in general.

But I really liked this quote:
"We all kind of come from the demographic of Jews who are not that involved in the community, but still, like, identify …" because it pretty much identifies most of the people I know who are Jewish because they were born Jewish, but weren't raised in a religious household. Why shouldn't that demographic have a magazine?
posted by kristin at 10:01 AM on July 26, 2001

there is a lot of good "jewish alternative" music, as apoch mentions, including the genius of hasidic new wave, and their oh-so-good dead kennedys homage "giuliani uber alles"...
posted by judith at 10:25 AM on July 26, 2001

I'm surprised that this rap supergroup hadn't made it into this thread yet.
posted by Dirjy at 10:52 AM on July 26, 2001

I'd always been under the impression that it was an ethnicity *and* a religion. Probably because the orthodox believe you can only be Jewish if your mother was. If a Jewish person wants to forego faith, that doesn't mean they aren't Jewish anymore. I've more than enough friends who are Jewish and only decide their faith when they are older.

And why aren't we getting any praise for Atom yet? What We Do On Christmas is excellent.
posted by witchycal at 11:02 AM on July 26, 2001

The Orthodox also believe in conversion. As with (Canadian) Conservative Judaism, however, would-be convertees must be okayed by a panel of community leaders. Applicants are usually accepted, but most conversions come with strings attached - new Jews must attend synagogue, demonstrate in-depth knowledge of the religion, and (sometimes) guarantee to send their children to Jewish day-school.

Sort of like an extreme version of citizenship testing, I suppose.
posted by Marquis at 12:09 PM on July 26, 2001

Don't we make fun of Christian magazines that try to be cool?

Yes, but when's the last time you were inundated by a didactic Jew focused on converting you and telling you that anything else was just the work of the Devil.

Some people inspire satire through their own actions.
posted by fooljay at 9:49 PM on July 26, 2001