Jizz Mopper Tales
June 11, 2010 5:05 PM   Subscribe

The last days of the Lusty Lady (nsfw image) (previously)
posted by Artw (29 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
I'm sad to see another part of the grittier aspect of Seattle go. Bye bye, ladies.

.
posted by piratebowling at 5:15 PM on June 11, 2010


Take heart. The Lusty Lady in San Francisco says "By Popular Demand: The Lusty Lady is opening earlier!"

Early Bird special I guess.

I don't know if it is the same franchise but I had a friend from an html class at CCSF in '97 that danced at the SF Lusty Lady and they were known for treating their dancers well.
posted by vapidave at 5:31 PM on June 11, 2010


and they were known for treating their dancers well

Well, the dancers own the club, so I'd hope so. :)
posted by wildcrdj at 5:35 PM on June 11, 2010


"The Lusty Lady is opening earlier!"

Phwoar!
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:39 PM on June 11, 2010


This made me laugh:

But the sad secret Hexe says she's learned working at the Lady is that most guys are pretty boring. They just want to masturbate while someone else masturbates—or pretends to masturbate—on the other side of the glass. "They just like to look at vaginas. They stare at my cunt like their future is somehow magically up in there."

I never went in there, but like everyone I loved the marquee. The other interesting point, I thought, was:

The cutthroat atmosphere cultivated by state laws—dancer licenses, a ban on liquor sales in clubs, rules that say dancers have to be four feet from patrons—actually encourages prostitution by turning clubs into places whose only function is to hustle for sex. Strip clubs in Washington State aren't places of leisure where people go to hang out and relax while dancers work for an hourly wage: They're a tense bazaar where earning a living wage by following the rules is nearly impossible, so breaking the rules is the only way to stay ahead.

I've been in a lot of strip clubs, but never in Washington State. If that description is true, that's a pretty sad outcome of the state regulations.
posted by Forktine at 5:53 PM on June 11, 2010


.
posted by spinifex23 at 5:54 PM on June 11, 2010


I think I met* one of the people mentioned in the article. She's a friend of a friend. The world is really freakishly small.

*outside our respective professional capacities
posted by _dario at 5:55 PM on June 11, 2010


The Lusty Lady is the best!
posted by christhelongtimelurker at 6:26 PM on June 11, 2010


As mentioned in previous articles, the Seattle Lusty Lady was not unionized or owned by the workers. That is the unrelated San Francisco Lusty Lady.
posted by agentofselection at 6:48 PM on June 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


You have any idea how much money the average jizz mopper makes in an hour?
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:50 PM on June 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Not enough.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 7:05 PM on June 11, 2010 [6 favorites]


Seattle resident chiming in to say that this is a sad month for our ever-blandifying downtown. It's exponentially more sad to me that the LL, after winning countless victories against bigots and political douchebags of all stripes for years and years, is finally dying from the same jacked-up-beyond-all-reason-property-values and shit-economy combo that is killing most of our coolest businesses.

This is the same bullshit that is killing Capitol Hill, and any of you in cities with culturally significant neighborhoods ought to be able to relate: wealthy out-of-state developers scout out a 'hip' area, then carpet-bomb it with condos and upscale bars/restaurants, hoping naively that the factors that made the neighborhood cool are somehow going to adapt and remain?

Well, you'll find us in Georgetown and First Hill and the C.D., and when you come to colonize those neighborhoods with your condos we will move on. Ballard has already fallen and West Seattle teeters on the brink.

Just a bit of advice to these developers: the people who made these neighborhoods cool and the people who can afford your ridiculous condos are not the same people. If you price us out, the neighborhood will become steadily less cool until you lose whatever you invested.

You can keep running this scheme into the ground, or you can start finding ways to allow the original residents of these "arty" neighborhoods to co-exist somehow with your putative condo-buying, cool-vibe-appropriating clients. We can move to a cheaper part of town, and we will continue to do so as long as you make that our only option.
posted by chaff at 7:36 PM on June 11, 2010 [12 favorites]


The dancers at the Sunday barbecue trade favorite Midnight Mike quotes, imitating his gravelly rasp: "You gotta see booth 12. Looks like somebody dropped an M-80 in a can of creamed corn."

I want to buy this man a shot. Or a MeFi account. Or both.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 7:39 PM on June 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


That was surprisingly poignant.... Excuse me, I think I've got something in my eye.

Which, given the jizz mopper stories, means I should go rinse it with industrial bleach.
posted by Lemurrhea at 7:52 PM on June 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh, and from the comments:

2. Saturday morning. I go in before getting food at the market. A punky/goth girl is dancing with another tattoed woman and the song "Hamburger Lady" by Throbbing Gristle starts playing. This is an odd song for a strip joint, considering it's somewhat atonal and about a horribly charred corpse. I write them a note that says "this song is about a charred corpse". Gothy says "yeah, they play some weird shit here sometimes..." and both girls begin doing a naked zombie dance. Life again was absurd.

I've never been in the place, but the loss of it is still sort of breaking my heart.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 7:53 PM on June 11, 2010 [7 favorites]


Metafilter: it looks like his sick caterpillar threw up.
posted by Nelson at 8:24 PM on June 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


I'm a boner, Dottie. A dildo.
posted by pracowity at 9:24 PM on June 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


I would love to find something like this in Houston, it sounds *fun*. Not the individual booths, just the strange music choices and crazy dancers.

Of course, I'm the kind of guy who got drunk and gave my business card to a dancer at a strip club in Austin, because I worked for an ISP and she mentioned that she was with a competitor... My late wife laughed about it a lot. "He's so nice, he wouldn't even hit on the strippers, he gave one of them his business card!" (it was '97..)
posted by mrbill at 9:36 PM on June 11, 2010


"A very drunk and beloved regular who died, and everyone was bummed. We all wanted to go to the funeral, but they'd probably ask how we knew him. What would we say? 'Uhhh... we're his stripper girlfriends?'

This made me sad, somehow.
posted by jacalata at 9:39 PM on June 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


The slideshow of nsfw images linked here has some great images, in particular image #4, which is a really sweet art shot of a stripper posed beautifully in a sleazebag club, really works well, IMO, simple lines, really nicely lit. And the first image very cool also, naked lady playing accordion while other naked ladies dance, what's not to love here, right?

Fun post, thanx for getting it here on the page.
posted by dancestoblue at 9:41 PM on June 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Just a bit of advice to these developers: the people who made these neighborhoods cool and the people who can afford your ridiculous condos are not the same people. If you price us out, the neighborhood will become steadily less cool until you lose whatever you invested.

The 'developers' don't lose their investment; they'll be chucking up the cheapest shitpile they can get past inspection, pocket the money, and be out of there.
posted by rodgerd at 10:19 PM on June 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm a paragraph in and already pleased with this article for referencing Smell Yo Dick (NSFW lyrics). One day I'm going to do a choral arrangement of it.
posted by Nattie at 10:27 PM on June 11, 2010


Seattle resident chiming in to say that this is a sad month for our ever-blandifying downtown.

Another Seattle resident chiming in to say that downtown isn't "blandifying," it's dying.

Pioneer Square is turning into a no-go zone. Downtown office vacancies are at a high-water mark. Outside of the Pike-Pine corridor no one goes shopping. Meanwhile, the layers of condos in Belltown have led to a bunch of local residents complaining about crime and complaining about a lack of services that downtown doesn't offer.

This is the same bullshit that is killing Capitol Hill

I would argue it's the opposite that's true. Capitol Hill was pretty freakin' scummy in the mid-1990s. What's there now has a night life, has flourishing business, and yes, has the same dives it's always had.

Well, you'll find us in Georgetown and First Hill and the C.D., and when you come to colonize those neighborhoods with your condos we will move on.

The Georgetown that became a hip neighborhood a couple years ago? The First Hill that's either hospital or hospital parking deck? The CD where housing prices have tripled in the last 15 years and where Mount Zion abandoned the community for Renton because its black congregation sold out and moved south?

Ballard has already fallen

What happened in Ballard was simple -- a bunch of young and urban techie couples wanted houses with character, and a cadre of retiring Scandinavians were more than happy to unload their places and head for Florida. That was 1999. The condofication of Ballard followed with the housing boom, but the "traditional" Ballard departed a decade ago, and all things considered, it was going to die, anyway.

West Seattle teeters on the brink

Brink of what? It hasn't changed that much in the last decade. The only real changes have been the condos on California and the gentrification of White Center. Delridge is still poor, Alki is still rich, and the Admiral is still showing second-run movies.

If anything, West Seattle is more of a community than it's ever been before.

Just a bit of advice to these developers: the people who made these neighborhoods cool and the people who can afford your ridiculous condos are not the same people. If you price us out, the neighborhood will become steadily less cool until you lose whatever you invested.

They're building the condos for two reasons: They're profitable, and the city has been pushing dense development for the last 20 years. Of course, now they're no longer profitable -- witness the many stopped projects around town, the giant crater at 40th and Stone that's sat empty for the last four years, the half-finished projects in West Seattle, the empty lot that was the Denny's in Ballard, and countless other developments like this. You're railing against an enemy that's lost its power in the face of Seattle housing prices sliding 30% in the last three years.

I've been hearing the "YOU'RE PRICING OUT THE FREAKS AND GEEKS!" talk for 15 years. 10 years ago the musicians and artists started moving to Portland. 5 years ago all anyone could talk about was how condos were destroying Seattle. Now, in 2010, it's cheaper to rent, condos are getting converted to apartments, and how housing prices are more affordable than they've been in 5-6 years, and yet, it's the "YOU'RE PRICING US OUT MAN!" gambit over and over again.

We can move to a cheaper part of town

So you move to Georgetown, and now it's hip. You move to White Center, it will become hip. Has it hit you that maybe, just maybe, you're part of the ecosystem, too? If you don't want a part of town overrun by condo developers, you shouldn't move there.

I just moved to Maple Leaf, a part of town surprisingly untouched by the condo explosion. It also has very little coolness quotient for the "hip" folk that populate Georgetown. Related? I think so.
posted by dw at 10:34 PM on June 11, 2010 [13 favorites]


This is a great article, thanks for posting it.
posted by Nattie at 10:52 PM on June 11, 2010


You know, that place sounds like a lot of fun except the parts that skeeve me out
posted by davejay at 10:55 PM on June 11, 2010


A punky/goth girl is dancing with another tattoed woman and the song "Hamburger Lady" by Throbbing Gristle starts playing.

This is one of the hottest things I have ever fucking heard. Dear lords below, but I'm on the wrong coast.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:40 AM on June 12, 2010


Good points dw. Probably a bit late for me to be ranting against big developers, they dug their own hole over the past decade (literally).
posted by chaff at 1:11 PM on June 12, 2010


except the parts that skeeve me out

What, you mean guys who fantasise about raping a specific 4 year old make your skin crawl?

Welcome to the club.
posted by rodgerd at 6:41 PM on June 12, 2010


So you move to Georgetown, and now it's hip. You move to White Center, it will become hip. Has it hit you that maybe, just maybe, you're part of the ecosystem, too? If you don't want a part of town overrun by condo developers, you shouldn't move there.

This. If you don't realize that (usually white) artists/hipsters/queers are the "pioneer" forefront of the gentrification process, then you don't get it.
posted by RedEmma at 1:10 PM on June 14, 2010


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