Ever been caught smoking in a violent manner?
July 26, 2001 2:28 PM   Subscribe

Ever been caught smoking in a violent manner? This is the best slow-day-at-work reading around.
posted by mudbug (15 comments total)
 
my favorite: A citizen called deputies at 12:15 a.m. Saturday to report a 25-year-old woman from Rohnert Park was supposed to meet the citizen in a
restaurant but had never showed up. The citizen later notified deputies that the woman had called to say she had been drugged and had just awakened.


Wow, the guy called the cops when he got stood up.
posted by tj at 2:41 PM on July 26, 2001


(flushes ciggerette 'loads')
posted by clavdivs at 2:46 PM on July 26, 2001


"A man at 1:20 p.m. July 17 reported there was a loose cow in the middle of Sir Francis Drake Boulevard downtown. The cow was gone when a deputy arrived."

What I take away from this page is that there may be no job more boring and inane than being a deputy in Point Reyes.
posted by y6y6y6 at 2:51 PM on July 26, 2001


They have banjos in San Francisco?
posted by crasspastor at 2:52 PM on July 26, 2001


You can be kicked out of a club for smoking in a way that endangers other patrons - waving a cig around, or if you burn people with it.
posted by kristin at 2:54 PM on July 26, 2001


Oh, Point Reyes is a bloody nuthouse compared to some places. My hometown, for instance (Grangeville, ID, pop. around 3300). I used to delight in getting the newspaper sent to me in college and reading the police report to my friends. "Complainant says neighbor dogs were 'running and pooping' on her lawn."

Sadly, I can't find their police beat online, but I found some dillies in terms of hard news:

Henderson gets hole in one!

Women refuse to die, still friends!
posted by Skot at 2:57 PM on July 26, 2001


Where I lived as a kid, we had the Saratoga News, with its Sheriff's Blotter, which usually contained untold delights such as "Friday 1:34am Mailbox knocked over. Mailbox assailants fled scene."

--cue Dragnet music: Dah Dah-Dah Daaaaah!

I am truly shocked to see the barbarous practice of "egging" still continues unabated in such an otherwise peaceful town.

On the flip side, I worked in a cafe on the main street, and I first hand witnessed some pretty butal treatment of the homeless unfortunate enough to wander into the *ahem* somewhat affluent community.
posted by Kafkaesque at 3:07 PM on July 26, 2001


perhaps she had a pack of Dunhills without a tax stamp.
posted by clavdivs at 3:11 PM on July 26, 2001


No police report anywhere matches the style of the Arcata Eye Police Log (via some old-time peterme).
posted by sylloge at 6:32 PM on July 26, 2001


pretty butal treatment

brutal

*blush*
posted by Kafkaesque at 7:41 PM on July 26, 2001


I don't get it, you're not allowed to smoke in bars in California. How come she was smoking at all, let alone in a violent manner?
posted by megnut at 8:48 PM on July 26, 2001


My parents once brought me a clipping from my dinky old hometown newspaper with the headline:

"Dog Vomits on Swing;
Home Owner Disgusted"

I shit you not.

Another great place to get the flavor of your local wackos community is your newspapers' "Call The Editor" columns. Hoo boy...
posted by Dirjy at 8:55 PM on July 26, 2001


Yes, this is indeed the most popular of our local rag's offerings, or ahem, I should say, our local *Pulitzer Prize-winning* rag's offerings. Nothing beats the thrill of being the subject of one of these sheriff calls and hoping the neighbors don't figure out it's you. (BTW, we call it the Point Reyes *Dark* up at this end of Tomales Bay. :)
posted by Lynsey at 9:45 PM on July 26, 2001


My favorite police log clipping:

Man told officers he was attacked by five third-grade girls with a jump rope at the elementary school.
posted by Mrmuhnrmuh at 9:53 PM on July 26, 2001


In order to get true perspective on these reports, you'd have to visit Bolinas. It's the last working class holdout in the otherwise upper-crusty Marin County. Even Fairfax, a past haven for those who thorougly enjoy their smoke and booze while perched on a barstool, is becoming gentrified.

This is the kind of stuff that happens in Bolinas.
posted by bicyclingfool at 10:28 PM on July 26, 2001


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