While it may be an option more attractive than heterosexuality, it's not really a haven from domestic violence.
Still, I say more power to them. posted by mudbug at 3:36 PM on July 26, 2001
What I find interesting is that Fijilive -- the original author of this piece, it locked in paid archives now -- describes this as a choice of lifestyle, not an inborn trait. This would never fly in a US paper; it would be like saying conversion of gays and lesbians works. There's an overtone to the article that these choices are morally degenerate. I guess what is a sin is more clear cut if you can't appeal to biology. posted by rschram at 3:44 PM on July 26, 2001
Women are said to find this a more attractive option over domestic violence.
My Mom once said to me, "Watch out living near gays." "Why?" I said. "They tend to be violent and loud when they fight." she replied.
Moms say the darnedest things. I still don't know how she came to that conclusion, normally she is very open minded and sane. I repremanded her. posted by hotdoughnutsnow at 7:04 PM on July 26, 2001
God, that's so weird. My ex-mother-in-law said, upon my ex-wife and I moving to Long Beach, "You better be careful. There are a lot of gays in that part of town"... I must have laughed for days on end...
Where in the hell did that stereotype come from? posted by fooljay at 8:26 PM on July 26, 2001
describes this as a choice of lifestyle, not an inborn trait. This would never fly in a US paper; it would be like saying conversion of gays and lesbians works.
Actually I've seen this many times in U.S. papers. I really don't see the problem with having both a natural attraction to one sex and the ability to say 'what the hell' and go the opposite way out of horniness, curiosity, desperation, or fear of abuse. posted by skallas at 10:25 PM on July 26, 2001
While it may be an option more attractive than heterosexuality, it's not really a haven from domestic violence.
Drifting terribly O/T, I suppose, but I found that link to be very irritating. No source, as far as I can see, less than ten years old (and those ten years make a huge difference in the issues of both domestic violence and gay identity). It seemed to want to find partial and gay-specific explanations for gay domestic violence, which ultimately reinforce rather than critique stereotypes (the notion that there will inevitable be a differential or a series of differentials in power in any relationship, which could manifest itself in a number of kinds of maintainance and "violence", no matter who the participants are is possibly more useful). Perhaps this is because the writer, despite what he says in the first and last paragraphs, wants to maintain the "natural" status of abuser for heterosexual men.
Oh, and he says: "The term homophobia literally means an irrational fear of erotic attraction to members of the same sex."
Actually, the term "homophobia" literally means "fear of the same". It certainly possesses the meaning he states, but that is not its literal definition.
In fact "heterophobia" (which by these terms should mean "fear of straight people") would possibly be a useful word in this area, meaning "fear of the different".
Still, I say more power to them.
posted by mudbug at 3:36 PM on July 26, 2001