Comments on: The prettiest things in life are useless

The prettiest things in life are useless

emilyd22222 — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:34:01 -0800

Stuff no one told me (but I learned anyways)

See also: Alex Noriega's sketch blog

By: Lutoslawski

Lutoslawski — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:35:22 -0800

ahem, Metafilter take note.

By: desjardins

desjardins — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:38:21 -0800

This one is particularly apropos for mr. desjardins and me. (I'm the STFU one.)

By: The Winsome Parker Lewis

The Winsome Parker Lewis — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:38:31 -0800

I like these! I'm curious though why the posts are in English but the blog itself is Spanish.

By: graventy

graventy — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:39:02 -0800

No one told him to always wear clean underwear? I thought that was a pretty common piece of advice.

By: lattiboy

lattiboy — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:39:26 -0800

"In Europe, people fart backwards." Ha!

By: Ratio

Ratio — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:43:57 -0800

So much this.

By: ODiV

ODiV — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:44:22 -0800

desjardins: Nice mustache! graventy: It says nice underwear, not clean.

By: drjimmy11

drjimmy11 — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:44:24 -0800

17. Everyone's free to wear sunscreen? I keed, I keed. The drawings are cute and funny. But most of these aren't exactly original thoughts.

By: mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey

mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:45:13 -0800

"In Europe, people fart backwards." Curiously, this is true everywhere but France. There was a famous French fartiste discussed here before who could fart both backwards and forwards. His name? Le Palindrome.

By: grobstein

grobstein — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:45:16 -0800

These are really cute and well executed. Neither the sentiments nor the art are really breaking new ground, but I did find myself surprised by a couple of the inventions. I would love them as greeting cards or something.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:48:39 -0800

Nice! Thanks for sharing.

By: MCMikeNamara

MCMikeNamara — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:51:41 -0800

Ratio: So much this. Totally...though at first I was unsure if it meant fuck in the "screw over" sense or "fuck" in a "have sex with" sense...until I remember that people who fuck anyone in the have sex with sense are some of the nicest people in the world. Or so I've been told.

By: ODiV

ODiV — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:51:41 -0800

His name? Le Palindrome. Short for Le Palindrome Pourri de Paris.

By: Postroad

Postroad — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:52:30 -0800

If people express anger because they have small dicks, then what goes on in anger management classes?

By: kitchenrat

kitchenrat — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:53:27 -0800

his name? le petomane

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:54:17 -0800

Probably true.

By: gurple

gurple — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:58:43 -0800

Most of these are great, but #15 really drags everything down. It exerts a derivative-work field so strong that it actually sucks all the originality out of the six or seven surrounding entries.

By: grobstein

grobstein — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:59:21 -0800

explain?

By: Not Supplied

Not Supplied — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:01:26 -0800

I traf in your general direction.

By: ODiV

ODiV — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:07:02 -0800

gurple: For me it's the damn comma that ruins that one.

By: codacorolla

codacorolla — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:10:48 -0800

I think that's good general advice. I like the art style too. It's the kind of thing that, as a teenager, everyone tells you but doesn't really stick until you make some terrible mistake.

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:11:17 -0800

If people express anger because they have small dicks, then what goes on in anger management classes? Who do you think writes all that spam?

By: toodleydoodley

toodleydoodley — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:13:01 -0800

Most of these are great, but #15 really drags everything down. It exerts a derivative-work field so strong that it actually sucks all the originality out of the six or seven surrounding entries. posted by gurple at 4:58 PM on June 17 [+] [!] that was actually the one I liked best ;-) good thing there were a bunch more

By: slogger

slogger — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:13:17 -0800

I want these in a calendar.

By: therubettes

therubettes — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:15:43 -0800

Lovely stuff. Not trying too hard. Thanks for posting.

By: doctor_negative

doctor_negative — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:21:54 -0800

Precious Moments® for hipsters.

By: umberto

umberto — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:34:23 -0800

Precious Moments for Unmotivated Hipsters

By: AlsoMike

AlsoMike — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:37:22 -0800

Fun to combine these so they contradict each other: Being successful means spreading your anger all over the internet - respect that. Some people think it's OK to judge you because you lived in Europe for 2 weeks - ignore them.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:45:08 -0800

A lot of these are great, but you should never try to reassure someone by saying "there's no such thing as natural talent", because it is stunningly obvious that there is in fact a shitload of natural talent out there and they'll know you're full of crap, which isn't going to make them feel a whole lot better. What you could try telling them them is that you don't need a lot of natural talent to succeed, and that natural talent alone is as likely to make you a failure as a success.

By: boghead

boghead — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:51:19 -0800

I think there's a lot of meh stuff here. Some of it's terrible advice (the 'work as slowly as possible' thing.) The illustration is nice though. There's a printout in my office called "Watermelon," where each letter in the word starts another aphorism. But these are all poorly written. Most if it's just filler, so the author could justify using "Watermelon." There's another I've been meaning to rip down for a while which works the same way, just with the word "Smart." You know what? There are too many styles of living our lives to have many, or any universal truisms. I really, really want to end this with a universal truism now, but I just can't.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:04:43 -0800

> You know what? There are too many styles of living our lives to have many, or any universal truisms. I really, really want to end this with a universal truism now, but I just can't. That's commendable. Too often, people try to wrap up otherwise decent observations with some kind of pat truism or command summary. It's perfectly okay to not do so. Synthesis isn't always warranted. damn!

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:06:10 -0800

Some of it's terrible advice (the 'work as slowly as possible' thing.) See, sometimes that's not great advice, like when you're doing stuff for yourself. But when doing work for others it's decent advice...others are not going to (generally speaking) reward you in any meaningful way if you get it done quicker--and they sure as shit won't pay you more for getting it done quickly.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:09:22 -0800

And, the "little dick" joke is such a lazy default.

By: bonobothegreat

bonobothegreat — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:40:33 -0800

Some of it's terrible advice (the 'work as slowly as possible' thing.) Especially if you're freelancing at home. Whaaaah!

By: L'OM

L'OM — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:41:47 -0800

"Anyways" is not a word.

By: Faze

Faze — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:51:06 -0800

Just about every one of these is wrong! This is conventional wisdom at its worst.

By: marmaduke_yaverland

marmaduke_yaverland — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 16:23:15 -0800

This one, although offering no answers, still concisely sums up every break up I have ever had.

By: basicchannel

basicchannel — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 16:39:54 -0800

Disney + porn messed me up. I've been waiting forever for an insatiable whore to save me.

By: everichon

everichon — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 16:51:49 -0800

I'll stick with Jenny Holzer, tyvm.

By: philip-random

philip-random — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 16:51:58 -0800

Disney + porn messed me up. I loved Disney stuff as a little kid, grew tired of it by my late teens, came to HATE it as a young adult it, but I couldn't really put my finger on why. And then I heard this amazing song by T-Bone Burnett called "Hefner + Disney" in which he basically switched their stories. Hefner became the spinner of children's fantasies. Disney became the pornographer. And thus it all made sense.

By: Diablevert

Diablevert — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 16:58:52 -0800

The drawings are cute. The words are smug.

By: Rashomon

Rashomon — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 17:23:44 -0800

This is pretty cool and full of good humor. I completely disagree that they are 'smug' words or 'convention wisdom at its worse'. This is not the Tao. It's humor. Just not maybe humor you like.

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 18:01:07 -0800

I don't spread my anger; I concentrate it all on MeFi! =D

By: Solon and Thanks

Solon and Thanks — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 18:38:20 -0800

What the what. I admit I had a cynical moment for some of these, but then I was like "do I really want to be that person?"

By: elmaddog

elmaddog — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 20:05:31 -0800

I love this page. Hope it has staying power, unlike "shit my Dad says" or "boingboing".

By: timelord

timelord — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 20:54:41 -0800

Most of these are great, but #15 really drags everything down. It exerts a derivative-work field so strong that it actually sucks all the originality out of the six or seven surrounding entries. Context. There's even an original source for that: Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young

By: ODiV

ODiV — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 22:28:42 -0800

Disney + porn messed me up. I've been waiting forever for an insatiable whore to save me. An insatiable anthropomorphic fox whore.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 23:43:28 -0800

I liked 15 (and 9!), but... the "don't let people judge you" (3)- WTF? Especially contrasted with the "don't be a douchebag" (7), it's pretty jarring. How are you supposed to know that you're a douchebag or useless if you ignore feedback from other people? And the "Work as slowly as possible." Without provisions? O_o?! Is this an artifact from "European socialism" or something? Sure, maybe, if you're working for someone else, paid hourly, and you don't give a crap. "I'm going to try to put this house fire out as slowly as possible."

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 01:24:51 -0800

An insatiable anthropomorphic fox whore. Ahhh, Robin Hood.

By: mippy

mippy — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 05:54:32 -0800

But most of these aren't exactly original thoughts. And there's only seven different plots in literature. What's your point?

By: clearly

clearly — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 06:44:39 -0800

"Anyways" is not a word. Irregardless, it is often used to replace "anywho."

By: 256

256 — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 07:58:08 -0800

And there's only seven different plots in literature. What's your point? I think you mean two.

By: 256

256 — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 07:59:41 -0800

"Anyways" is not a word. What? Yes it is. Or is your dialect the One True English?

By: philip-random

philip-random — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 08:37:17 -0800

"Anyways" is not a word. What? Yes it is. Or is your dialect the One True English? I've been told by a few Brits that only reasonably well educated Canadians speak the One True English. Speaking only for myself, I do in fact sometime say "anyways", but only after about the fourth drink.

By: neuron

neuron — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 20:35:55 -0800

If people express anger because they have small dicks, then what goes on in anger management classes? Cockfighting?

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 08:19:11 -0800

Suggested: As I grow older, I realize that what I thought were adults are just children in adults' clothing.