Over Paid and Over Here

June 21, 2010 4:53 AM

Could any of you in the US please check your attics?
posted by Leon (41 comments total)

Owl have a look.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 5:09 AM on June 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

The only thing in my attic is a furnace that dates from Roman times.
posted by sciurus at 5:13 AM on June 21, 2010

I had a few of those.
posted by bitslayer at 5:14 AM on June 21, 2010

Oh, that old thing? That's been in Grandpa's attic forever, right next to the Ark and the Spear of Destiny. Don't know if we'll give it back, though; we've grown rather attached to it.

P.S. How 'bout them Elgin marbles?
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:15 AM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sorry, all I found was an eagle that I had bronzed a while back. I have no idea how the little guy's still alive!
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 5:19 AM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Nooooo! If you return it, the Empire will rise again!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:27 AM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

I like the bit about how that eagle is clearly nailed to someone's front porch in Arkansas. OBVS. What else do you do with a priceless antique?!
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:30 AM on June 21, 2010

Owl have a look.

That's service.
posted by pracowity at 5:40 AM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Eagle? I barely knew her.
posted by schleppo at 5:41 AM on June 21, 2010

Frankly, I'm beginning to egret finding the thing in the first place.
posted by Jofus at 5:45 AM on June 21, 2010 [5 favorites]

I guess this explains the femme fatale, private detective, and two other men - one very short, and the other very fat - who keep coming around the hotel lobby.
posted by randomkeystrike at 5:49 AM on June 21, 2010 [9 favorites]

I like the bit about how that eagle is clearly nailed to someone's front porch in Arkansas. OBVS. What else do you do with a priceless antique?!

You're right, it would look a lot better nailed to the grille of a Cadillac.

(I'm not even kidding about that.)
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 5:54 AM on June 21, 2010

Sadly I traded mine for a first edition near-mint copy of Dark Knight #1.
posted by Vindaloo at 6:02 AM on June 21, 2010

Er... "purloined"? "Steals"? This is seriously a Briton being critical of someone coming into a country and paying a native a pittance to haul off a priceless cultural treasure? ;^)
posted by XMLicious at 6:08 AM on June 21, 2010 [15 favorites]

"We've got top men working on it. Top Men."
posted by njbradburn at 6:09 AM on June 21, 2010 [6 favorites]

This is seriously a Briton being critical of someone coming into a country and paying a native a pittance to haul off a priceless cultural treasure?

Note also the implication that a Roman artifact belongs to Britain in the first place.
posted by DU at 6:12 AM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

No eagle, but I did find a lovely black enamel statuette of a falcon.
posted by haltingproblemsolved at 6:12 AM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

the article comes from the British newspaper the News Chronicle, 16 Sept, 1958
and
The curator at Colchester and Essex Museum, Mr M. R. Hull said last night that the boy found the eagle in Sheepen Field, off the Colchester by-pass.

Really? That's strange, because there was no bypass in 58. In fact, in the early 60s they were planning to build a motorway, and the bypass was only done in the late 60...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 6:12 AM on June 21, 2010

DRAT YOU RANDOMKEYSTRIKE
posted by haltingproblemsolved at 6:14 AM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Note also the implication that a Roman artifact belongs to Britain in the first place.

If a Roman invader dropped something in Britain a couple thousand years ago, it's a British artifact now. If a bloody Martian dropped something in Britain a couple thousand years ago, it's a British artifact now.
posted by pracowity at 6:21 AM on June 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

If the airman bought something valuable for a song then good luck to him. Even today, Colchester's antique shops are selling Roman coins to tourists, so I suspect the boy was just acting in the best of local traditions. I just hope that one day it actually turns up buried at the bottom of Granddad's souvenir box.

I'm really regretting that stupid title now.

BTW, the rest of the blog is pretty interesting.
posted by Leon at 6:22 AM on June 21, 2010

> Note also the implication that a Roman artifact belongs to Britain in the first place.

If you'll take a moment to study this map, you'll see that the Roman Empire extended up into what is now called Great Britain.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:37 AM on June 21, 2010

Woo-hoo. A snarkifact.
posted by pracowity at 7:57 AM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

If you'll take a moment to study this map, you'll see that the Roman Empire extended up into what is now called Great Britain.

Ah, but then imperial-transitively, since Americans are British, Americans are Romans and it's an American artifact. Except that because the Philippines was part of the American Empire, it's actually a Filipino artifact.
posted by XMLicious at 8:05 AM on June 21, 2010 [4 favorites]

imperial-transitively

Thank you, I was looking for the right word for this.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:30 AM on June 21, 2010

I've got the "somewhere in deepest Arkansas ..on the front porch swing." thing covered. No eagles here.
posted by thisisdrew at 8:31 AM on June 21, 2010

i have two distinct goals as a homeowner: never go in the attic, and never go under the house. i've failed at both so far, but this story doesn't even remotely entice me to ascend into that hot, dark, mysterious, creepy place. not even a little bit. my chances of finding a rare antique are infinitesimally smaller than my chances of getting eaten by an attic monster.
posted by msconduct at 8:35 AM on June 21, 2010 [4 favorites]

Nooooo! If you return it, the Empire will rise again!

Hey, my seven years of Latin might finally be marketable!
posted by thivaia at 8:47 AM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

It's a tough choice: Eider I Tern it in or I don't. I don't want to be a pigeon, but I don't want to run a fowl of the law, either.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 9:20 AM on June 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm afraid the chain of custody on this one is pretty badly broken. Even if an eagle does turn up in someone's attic after fifty-two years on the lam, there's always going to be a question as to whether it's authentic.
posted by Kevin Street at 9:31 AM on June 21, 2010

American servicemen were known for robin treasures during the war. Uh huh. Uh huh huh.
posted by Mister_A at 9:42 AM on June 21, 2010

Oh, this scavenger hunt is quite a lark - I don't believe this thread could hold me any raptor! That's one roamin' eagle. Best of luck to everyone in this bald bold endeavor.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:44 AM on June 21, 2010

Hey, at least I didn't try to make any "Attics Finch" jokes...
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:46 AM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Paging Pullo and Vorenus.
posted by Lemmy Caution at 9:50 AM on June 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Whoever finds it could hawk it to the highest bidder. If they find the right pigeon they could shrike it rich!

/I am so very sorry.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 9:55 AM on June 21, 2010 [4 favorites]

Paging Varus, General Publius Quinctilius Varus, please pick up the white courtesy phone...
posted by Bromius at 10:02 AM on June 21, 2010

I can't believe every reference I wanted to drop into this thread has already been made.
posted by jeffamaphone at 10:45 AM on June 21, 2010

All those puns are for the birds.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:07 AM on June 21, 2010

Fuckin' culture vultures, man.
posted by Mister_A at 12:44 PM on June 21, 2010

There is always the alarming possibility that the artifact (if it ever existed) was tossed out with the rest of granddad's rubbish.

It has been known to happen

One of the most alarming episodes of Antiques Roadshow involved a sixteenth century Italian helmet ("worth 250,000 dollars!") that the alleged owner had allegedly found in her alleged uncle's alleged attic. That alarm bells didn't ring immediately and questions about said uncle's service in WWII didn't get asked. Not their job, perhaps, but still - disquieting. This and this are the latest could turn up, but I have always wondered if the Italian (or Spanish) consulate ever got involved. (Spanish I think is wrong as I distinctly remember immediately thinking it was WWII booty, which puts paid to Spain)
posted by IndigoJones at 2:00 PM on June 21, 2010

For our British Friends - Antiques Roadshow. As you will have guessed, yet another cool idea we - adopted.
posted by IndigoJones at 2:02 PM on June 21, 2010