"Fine. That will have to do."
June 24, 2010 5:21 AM Subscribe

" I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me." Simon (of 7 legged spider fame) responds to a request from his secretary.
posted by empath (180 comments total) 22 users marked this as a favorite

This guy is an asshole, and rightly so. Maybe next time she'll open MS Paint or an equivalent and do it herself.
posted by phunniemee at 5:29 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

I loved it. "See the cat is lost in the negative space"
posted by nola at 5:29 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by fermezporte at 5:31 AM on June 24, 2010 [7 favorites]

I get why he can get tired of these pointless requests, but turn-around is fair play.

If he is so busy with having to deliver actual work to two clients, why is he pissing around making posters anyway, and composing nasty emails like a wanker?
posted by clvrmnky at 5:32 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I can only read these if I assume they are at least partly fictionalized. The "re: re: re: re:" stuff would kind of argue for that. Do any mail clients really still do that?
posted by DU at 5:33 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm fairly confident that the exchange did not go exactly as published.
posted by empath at 5:33 AM on June 24, 2010 [14 favorites]

If he is so busy with having to deliver actual work to two clients, why is he pissing around making posters anyway, and composing nasty emails like a wanker?

And then posting it to his look-at-me-look-at-me blog?
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 5:33 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I don't really "get" it. I mean, I get that he's making hilarious posters, but he's also being a jerk to the secretary.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:33 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

I loled.
posted by sciurus at 5:34 AM on June 24, 2010

If that's how it actually played out, that guy is a grade-A fucking jerk.
posted by Malor at 5:34 AM on June 24, 2010 [28 favorites]

Wait, this is a joke, no?
posted by nola at 5:35 AM on June 24, 2010

The guy's a dick. This is very funny.

There's no cognitive dissonance – sometimes it's okay to laugh at someone being made fun of.
posted by him at 5:37 AM on June 24, 2010 [9 favorites]

Wait, I'm confused. When Seven Legged Spider and Design A Logo For Me were making the rounds, I assumed they were actual email exchanges. But I hope they're fake, because I don't think I'm being overly sensitive to say it's tremendously shitty to send an email to someone with a missing cat asking them not to think "about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle."

I'll admit I laughed at at all these, but if they're fake then that takes a bit of steam out of the comedy. Though, again, if they're not fake, this is really loathsome. So I'm stuck in the position of really hoping they're fake and wishing they weren't...
posted by Ian A.T. at 5:37 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

if they're fake then that takes a bit of steam out of the comedy. Though, again, if they're not fake, this is really loathsome

Why can't it be both loathsome and funny?
posted by empath at 5:38 AM on June 24, 2010 [6 favorites]

Come on, it's just a parody. A really funny one, at that.

No secretary in her right mind would ask anyone else to make a poster. Secretaries are TASKED to make posters all the freaking time. I do it at work when a plant is on sale. sheesh.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:40 AM on June 24, 2010 [5 favorites]

"It's like twitter. Except we charge people to use it."

hee hee heeee!
posted by rory at 5:42 AM on June 24, 2010

Funny in a, "Wow, he's a smarmy jerk," way.
posted by FunkyHelix at 5:42 AM on June 24, 2010

I am hoping the next one features him responding amusingly to somebody's request that he design a funeral program cover for their mother.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:42 AM on June 24, 2010

...I don't think I'm being overly sensitive to say it's tremendously shitty to send an email to someone with a missing cat asking them not to think "about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle."

It's a exaggerated response to a real type of request. I've seen some very overwrought "PLEASE EVERYONE PRAY FOR MY CAT!!!11" messages on our internal bulletin board, for instance. (Or even one recently that asked us what we could "do" for a stray cat "with kittens!!" that the poster had seen the other day.)

Having mentally composed replies to these requests, I can definitely see fictionalizing one for humorous effect.
posted by DU at 5:43 AM on June 24, 2010

i would find that hilarious, too.
posted by empath at 5:43 AM on June 24, 2010

possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle,

If the exchanges are fake then it does take away some of the comedy (which I do like, since those "hey please make me a poster/photoshop this image for free" things which end up with absudist, intentionally unhelpful responses are generally pretty hilarious), since this guy would be essentially inventing fake stories for the purposes of showing off his comedy responses.

On the other hand if they are real, I am currently nursing a cat back to health whose back legs were indeed recently squashed by a vehicle, so this particular example just seems pretty stupid to me.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 5:44 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

shannon the human snake
posted by Hammond Rye at 5:44 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Whoops, I missed the Design A Logo For Me memo.

C'mon, these are like those insane revenge fantasies we all entertain from time to time. In our heads. As in, not real, and only a sociopath would actually make them so.
posted by rory at 5:45 AM on June 24, 2010

I like to read this as a non-too-subtle dig at both designers and clients.

On the one hand, you've got a client who's micro-managing a project, and seems to already know what design they want - just wanting the designer to put their thing on paper, and boom, easy, done. As a one-time part-time designer, I remember that being a huge pain in the arse.

On the other, you've got a designer who's so far up himself he can't follow simple instructions, and is too busy trying to glorify himself via edgy designs that he's not getting anywhere near the request.

That, and it's funny.
posted by djgh at 5:47 AM on June 24, 2010 [14 favorites]

If this is fake, and at this point I'm guessing it is, then that's just even more strange. Someone spent the day coming up with a fictionalized email exchange between a designer and his secretary, then made a bunch of fake posters? As a sort of meta-complaint about people wasting his time/energy? Then he posted it to his blog for the world to see? Do I have that right? I think that might make him an even bigger douche than if it were real.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 5:48 AM on June 24, 2010

This is about the fifth time I've been pointed at this in the last couple of days and I am still not able to understand why it is funny. The 7-legged spider thing - like the pie-chart one - worked, I thought, because in each case it is made clear that the target is at least arguably a deserving one. Here he just comes across as an arrogant prick. No, not everyone can make a simple poster.

As I recall, the other guy in the pie-chart (design me a logo) thing a) exists and b) was not amused, so if this one is wholly fictional, it's being presented alongside one which appears not to be. Unless the evidence for the existence of pie-chart guy was all put there as part of some larger art stunt type thing, but this strikes me as doubtful.
posted by motty at 5:48 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

As a sort of meta-complaint about people wasting his time/energy?

I really, really don't think that was the point of the exchange. I don't know why people are fixated on that. He only mentioned some meetings once at the beginning. Whereas he makes fun of her concern for her cat and deliberately misunderstands her instructions throughout.
posted by DU at 5:51 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm reasonably sure that all of his stuff is fake. Check out Matthew's Party.
posted by djgh at 5:52 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh come on guys, it only took 4 hours and she got a professionally produced poster for free.
posted by empath at 5:52 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

These aren't real as the response from the assistant is totally unrealistic. It serves as a way to make him look like a very funny photoshop using dude. Sadly, I think he's mainly just a fuckhead no matter which way you look at it, real or no.

For the record, I'm the kind of person who worries about stray cats with kittens.
posted by josher71 at 5:52 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

It may be that I think this is funny because I hate cats. And secretaries.
posted by empath at 5:53 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

Okay, you people gotta know that he's a satirist/humorist - undo the panty knots. He's well known for this stuff, and I look forward to each new installment, but often forget to check in. So... Thanks Empath!
posted by honey-barbara at 5:55 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I think all the hate for the fake emails is almost as funny as the fake hate in the fake emails.
posted by orme at 5:57 AM on June 24, 2010 [9 favorites]

I think all the hate for the fake emails is almost as funny as the fake hate in the fake emails.

I'm also a satirist/humorist.
posted by josher71 at 5:58 AM on June 24, 2010

It may be that I think this is funny because I hate cats. And secretaries.
posted by empath
posted by DU at 6:00 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

Everyone in this thread should read the Wikipedia entry honey-barbara just posted. It...well, let's just say it explains a lot.
posted by Ian A.T. at 6:00 AM on June 24, 2010

As I recall, the other guy in the pie-chart (design me a logo) thing a) exists and b)

Yeah, that guy was real. I assume this cat thing is fake. Probably nothing else has given him hits like his other email exchanges and he's basically just trolling for traffic now. Boring.
posted by delmoi at 6:01 AM on June 24, 2010

That's silly, cat's and secretaries don't have feelings.
posted by empath at 6:01 AM on June 24, 2010

So he's either a prick, or he wants people to think he's a prick? Got it.
posted by Drexen at 6:02 AM on June 24, 2010

Someone spent the day coming up with a fictionalized email exchange between a designer and his secretary, then made a bunch of fake posters? As a sort of meta-complaint about people wasting his time/energy? Then he posted it to his blog for the world to see? Do I have that right? I think that might make him an even bigger douche than if it were real.

Someone spent [some period of time] coming up with a fictionalized [narrative of some kind] with [graphical elements]? As [an observation] about [something that concerned them at the time]? Then [communicated it to an audience]? [Does anyone] have that right? [Surely we should only write things that are literally true, keep them to ourselves, and never be annoyed about anything.]
posted by rory at 6:07 AM on June 24, 2010 [19 favorites]

Ian A.T., I see what you mean.

Ok, where else can I get my hate on at Ye Olde Metafilter today? Seems here isn't the place.
posted by josher71 at 6:10 AM on June 24, 2010

I mean, really, some here seem to be offended by the very notion of fiction, let alone black comedy. Or is it that it's "some guy's blog"? Every first novel ever published was initially "some guy's notebook".
posted by rory at 6:10 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

I know right. I can't believe this guy would actually carry around an air horn to do this to people. Or draw a comic imagining what it would be like. What a jerk.
posted by empath at 6:10 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

Well, you've got to admit that it would be a bit ironic to whinge about people wasting your time and then spend a day composing a blog posting whinging about people wasting your time. But that strawman you've constructed is now good and dead, rory, well done. As it is, I've apparently misinterpreted the material of the post twice now, so well done to the author for leaving me bewildered. Now, where's my copy of Letters from a Nut?
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:11 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Surely we should only write things that are literally true, keep them to ourselves, and never be annoyed about anything.

Graphic designers are already the whiniest profession.
posted by smackfu at 6:12 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

this is neither real, nor original, nor funny
posted by nathancaswell at 6:15 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Well, you've got to admit that it would be a bit ironic to whinge about people wasting your time and then spend a day composing a blog posting whinging about people wasting your time.

I dispute that he is either whining or whining about people wasting his time. But even if he is, it doesn't seem fruitless to spend a day humorously lampooning the topic for artistic, commercial or social reform reasons.
posted by DU at 6:15 AM on June 24, 2010

Permission Slip is one of my favourites: "...As I trust my offspring's ability to separate fact from fantasy, I am happy for him to participate in your indoctrination process on the proviso that all references to 'Jesus' are replaced with the term 'Purportedly Magic Jew.'
Regards, David."
posted by honey-barbara at 6:16 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

Has anybody worked out how he got the cat into the scanner? Because that's the part that's stumping me.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:18 AM on June 24, 2010 [5 favorites]

This guy's obviously a talented and funny writer, and this piece shows it at moments, but I think it's time for him to change his formula -- the conceit of these scenarios falling into his lap is wearing thin. It comes off like a sequel to Jaws or Die Hard: the first time it was a good cop caught in a bad situation. The second time strains credulity that, ahem, the same shit could happen to the same guy twice. The third time, move to Kansas, Brodys.
posted by condour75 at 6:20 AM on June 24, 2010

It strikes me that maybe I find this mean-spirited, unoriginal, and painfully unfunny because I have a cat and would literally kill babies to keep the li'l dude safe. Now, if instead of a cat, the secretary had lost a ferret, and instead of asking her designer boss to make a poster, she was for some reason asking Rudy Giuliani to do it - well, now that would be comedy gold.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:22 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

It strikes me that maybe I find this mean-spirited, unoriginal, and painfully unfunny because I have a cat and would literally kill babies to keep the li'l dude safe.

I am offended by this because I have a baby and would kill kittens to keep it safe.
posted by empath at 6:34 AM on June 24, 2010 [10 favorites]

Ooh, Wikipedia lists him as something of a professional troll, and classify his work as both satire and "Fratire," or as Tucker Max wished to call it "DickLit."

Previous coverage of Simon's satire/whatnot: Dear Neighbour, you are not invited to my party and Please design a logo for me. With pie charts. For free. The ensuing threads were similar to this one.
posted by filthy light thief at 6:34 AM on June 24, 2010

I am offended by this because I have a baby and would kill kittens to keep it safe.

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my baby got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:38 AM on June 24, 2010 [6 favorites]

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my baby got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me.

Honestly, I just re-read the whole thing doing a mental find-and-replace and it brought it to an all new level of funny for me.
posted by empath at 6:46 AM on June 24, 2010

It's funnier if you hit "page down" instead of scrolling.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:48 AM on June 24, 2010

"Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar." -- Molly Ivins
posted by Pants McCracky at 6:48 AM on June 24, 2010 [35 favorites]

I find these hilarious, but I know that they're fake. David Thorne's said in multiple interviews that he makes this stuff up.
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:49 AM on June 24, 2010

Despite the tag, I'm just not getting the hilarity in this. Maybe I'm just old.
posted by tommasz at 6:50 AM on June 24, 2010

OK, the cat/poster email exchange was funny, but not nearly as funny as the people offended by it. Thank you. Thank you every one. Just keep being offended. And as a condemnation of its mean-spiritedness, being willing to murder children to protect your cat. Marvelous. Now maybe someone who thinks the world revolves through the ass-end of their baby will get offended and we can have a pout-off.
posted by umberto at 6:54 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

The point isn't that we're offended that these are fake, they're just not as funny if they're fake. Take, I don't know, The Daily Show field segments as an example. (Or Borat or Jackass or whatever cultural artifact you love that presents itself more-or-less as a document of something that happened in the real world.)

Now imagine that those bits were faked. Not "edited for maximum comedy," not "set up to highlight certain hilarious aspects of the situation," not "enhanced with reaction shots filmed after the fact to make the comedy flow better," not "featuring people who'd seen The Daily Show before and had a pretty good idea what they were getting into." I'm talking 100% completely fake. Pre-written by a staff of professional comedy writers and starring actors and actresses who auditioned for the roles, rehearsed them with the reporters, and then delivered their lines while dressed in pre-selected clothes at a setting found by location scouts.

Would it still be as funny? Sure, as long as you thought they were real. But if you knew they were fake...well, you might say that it doesn't matter at all and it's the objective comedy that matters and what is the meaning of "fake" in this corrupted age anyway...but you know what? I'm guessing the appeal would wear a little thin after a while.
posted by Ian A.T. at 6:55 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

The sense of humor schism on this is fascinating to me. I almost want to do a survey on pet ownership and various other demographics so I can figure out how this breaks down.
posted by empath at 6:56 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Fiction does not equal "fake".
posted by rmmcclay at 6:59 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I have a cat, but I'm not against anti-cat humor. It certainly does not offend me. I don't even care that this isn't real.

I just have too many friends who are receptionists and get treated like crap on a daily basis by people who think they are too important to act like decent human beings.
posted by mmmbacon at 7:01 AM on June 24, 2010 [11 favorites]

Well, you've got to admit that it would be a bit ironic to whinge about people wasting your time and then spend a day composing a blog posting whinging about people wasting your time.

No, I really haven't got to admit that. A day spent composing a funny blog post to entertain a large audience that captured a range of general feelings about time-wasters and people's tendency to sentimentalize pets, along with some funny graphic-design gags, would be very well-spent in my book.

That's why I tried to boil your response down to its essence. You claimed that the guy was a douche for taking the time to create a fictional blog post about time-wasters. I couldn't believe that your objection was to time-wasters as an inspiration for fiction or comedy, so I assumed it was to the rest, which just struck me as bizarre: every 3-minute song or 90-minute movie or 300-page book we encounter represents far more effort to make than it takes to read or watch or listen to, so why should blog posts be any different?

Or are you objecting to using time-wasters as the inspiration for fiction or comedy? Because that's pretty strange too.

If your underlying point was that you didn't find the post funny, that's fine; nothing can entertain everyone. But questioning Thorne's right to create something, just because it didn't make you laugh? If you had to clear your shelves of every book and CD and DVD that wasn't universally loved, you'd be left with a very empty room.
posted by rory at 7:05 AM on June 24, 2010

I laughed. Several times.
posted by iconomy at 7:05 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

(I thought it was very funny).
posted by JtJ at 7:06 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

rory: I thought point was pretty evident. Apparently not. All told, you win, because you used more words than me.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 7:09 AM on June 24, 2010

Wait, who replaced my MetaFilter with this fake one where St. Alia is the only one who gets the joke?

It's all a joke. And it's funny. For design reasons. People, please. England made it to the Round of 16, you can all unclench.
posted by kittyprecious at 7:12 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

lost cats are serious business.
posted by empath at 7:13 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm afeared my sarcasm meter was busted when I got up this morning. Viewing it as a jab at asshole designers rather than an asshole designer making up a story to prove a point about stupid plebes definitely changes the enjoyment level of the post. That said, it would still be funnier if it were Rudy Giuliani having to make a poster about someone's lost ferret.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 7:15 AM on June 24, 2010

Or if a baby had got out the screen door and was loose in the neighborhood.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 7:17 AM on June 24, 2010

What made this entry less funny than other stuff I've seen from him is that it doesn't invert traditional power relationships. Instead of 'designer poking back at jerk client / obstreperous religious people / bill collectors' this one's more 'designer is asshole to support staff.'
posted by jtron at 7:23 AM on June 24, 2010 [10 favorites]

You know stand-up comedians ? Everything they say is true.
posted by Pendragon at 7:23 AM on June 24, 2010

Almost nothing ever makes me actually lol. What can I say...this? I lol'd.
posted by TomMelee at 7:23 AM on June 24, 2010

So he has a valuable talent and as such wasting his valuable time is wasting his valuable talent, or it's a thing anybody can do and wasting their non-valuable, non-talented time being an ass is a-okay.

The problem with people like this, even when they are occasionally funny, which in this case I think is mildly the case, is that it encourages non-funny people who think they are funny to try the same thing in reality, increasing the world's assholery-to-funny quotient exponentially.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:29 AM on June 24, 2010

I just have too many friends who are receptionists and get treated like crap on a daily basis by people who think they are too important to act like decent human beings.

Thinking that this is anti-receptionist misses the point just as much as thinking it's anti-cat. It doesn't matter what job the time-waster does: the fact is that he or she is asking the skilled person to do a professional job for free. Someone above mentioned the receptionist not being able to produce a poster: I'll bet you that just isn't true. She could open Word, type "LOST" and increase the font size, and insert the jpeg of her cat. If she could attach it to an email she could paste it into a Word document. The results just wouldn't look as good as a graphic designer could do.

And that's the calculation she was making: it would take me five minutes to produce a crappy poster, but it would take this other guy five minutes to produce a really good one - the same time spent, but a much better result. Never mind that it's his time spent instead of hers, and that he may have more urgent tasks, and that just introducing it into his workflow requires time management and therefore time beyond the five minutes he'd have to spend doing it, which puts him down on the deal, and that you're trying to blag a professionally designed poster for the most trivial of purposes - the fact is that all this is being done to meet her own personal needs, and he's a work colleague, not her butler. If she were a great friend he wouldn't be so annoyed, so we can assume that she's at best a great acquaintance. Who should know that nobody cares if your lost cat poster has beautiful fonts and well-balanced white space - just stick a few details under the jpeg in Word and print the thing out.

So, all of that, except Thorne's post is funnier. The fact that he satirizes both time-wasters and indignant responses to time-wasters makes it doubly good.
posted by rory at 7:32 AM on June 24, 2010 [6 favorites]

I didn't think it was funny because it seemed to think that the designer (whether fictional or not) was a cut-up, taking the piss out of some lady who doesn't understand that designing takes work. He came across as a giant jackass, though, and that's not really the sort of humor I enjoy.

I do not own a cat.
posted by shakespeherian at 7:35 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm not offended by it as such, I'm just struggling to see the joke. It's the shape of the humour that is bugging me.

"Guy winds up deserving target" is funny.

"Arrogant bullying prick is arrogant, bullying and a prick," not so much, for me. For some, clearly.

As for the idea that the designer is supposed to be the butt of the joke (unlike some previous episodes) that seems a bit of a stretch and was not the reading I got at all. Comes across to me unpleasantly - more like a bully bragging about his bullying to other bullies.

The 'thick lady receptionist dares to blag free work out of great professional designer whose time is important' angle is not flying with me. To be honest, that's exactly how it read to me, and there's so much class/gender nastiness going on there it's hard to know where to begin.

Agreed that the sense of humour schism here is fascinating.
posted by motty at 7:50 AM on June 24, 2010 [7 favorites]

I thought the cat was being kind of a jerk for sneaking out like that.
posted by mazola at 7:54 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

I'm an avid collector of Movie posters and I'm offended that a missing cat poster should ever be made to resemble one. I would throw babies at kittens to protect my movie posters.
posted by Elmore at 7:59 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

I didn't think it was funny because it seemed to think that the designer (whether fictional or not) was a cut-up, taking the piss out of some lady who doesn't understand that designing takes work.

But she does understand that designing takes work. That's why she wanted some of it.

Thinking of "support staff" as powerless naifs in this sort of situation does them a disservice. Secretaries are constantly bombarded with requests to complete tasks in unrealistic time-frames, coming from people who underestimate the work involved. She knew she was asking him to do some work for her. And she wasn't powerless: she initiated the exchange, and was harnessing the power of the subtle social obligations we feel towards those who make our working lives easier. The trouble was she overstepped the limits. If she had been buying him a drink at the pub, mentioned that she was having a party and by the way he's invited, and then bemoaning the fact that her flier design attempts were rubbish, he might have volunteered to help her out. But she emailed him a request with a three-hour deadline for something she was perfectly capable of doing herself that didn't need fancy design in the first place.
posted by rory at 8:02 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

This humor bean-plating is hilarious.
posted by sciurus at 8:08 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

The 'thick lady receptionist dares to blag free work out of great professional designer whose time is important' angle is not flying with me. To be honest, that's exactly how it read to me, and there's so much class/gender nastiness going on there it's hard to know where to begin.

Graphic designers, along with computer professionals, are people which no one feels any remorse in exploiting. If you have never worked in these fields, you may not understand just how often some jackhole comes along and wants you to work for free. I mean All. The. Time.

See also: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/computers

Anecdote:
When I was in grad-school, my work-study was to manage the mac-lab in the art department. In my role there I ended up teaching a fair number of luddite art faculty how to check email, how to use a scanner, etc. I also worked with a fair number of students, helped to revive crashed Zip Drives (ha! remember them?) and figure out the plotter and what not. It was my job. I learned a lot. No problem, happy to help.

Then I graduated. I stayed in town after school for a bit, teaching part time, working in a little ad agency. I had an apartment near the school so I would frequently run into students or faculty.

Faculty would stop me on the street to tell me about the problem they were having with their printer. One adult student cornered me at an art opening to tell me all about some project they needed help with.

In both circumstances I listened, nodded, and explained what my hourly rate was and my minimum charge. They looked back at me, mouths agape in horror. I expected to get paid?

…

So maybe the execution of this piece isn't fantastic, and maybe the receptionist isn't a good choice of villain, but I think more than one graphic designer would like to take the afternoon off and respond to stupid requests in the manner which they deserve.
posted by device55 at 8:12 AM on June 24, 2010 [5 favorites]

Sorry, this is probably getting under my skin because it reminds me of responses I read years ago to Mil Millington, who was one of the Internet's great comedic discoveries as far as I was concerned (and was an inspiration for David Thorne's work). Shades of Michael Kelly, too.

For a guy who's "occasionally funny", Thorne sure gets some great reviews. I'd be reading more if his site weren't grinding under the traffic right now.
posted by rory at 8:13 AM on June 24, 2010

We laugh at -- and with -- assholes all the time in comedy. What's funny in fiction would often be unbearable in real life. News at...
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:33 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

How on earth can anyone read this and not understand that it's fictional?

Even stranger is getting bent out of shape that someone actually spent time making stuff up? Fake emails that aren't even REALLY REAL?!?!

Buh? Stay away from bookstores, your head will asplode.
posted by the bricabrac man at 8:37 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke.

As a cat owner with parents who are starting to age I found this hilarious.
posted by Big_B at 8:41 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

That doesn't mean it's necessary to be a passive-aggressive dick about it.

Well of course.

The humor here is in the voicing outloud of the horrible things you think as you take a deep breath and politely decline.
posted by device55 at 8:43 AM on June 24, 2010

MetaFilter: voicing outloud of the horrible things you think
posted by mazola at 8:46 AM on June 24, 2010

Buh? Stay away from bookstores, your head will asplode.

Yeah but the point is it's a style of comedy that only works if it's not fake. You may as well make prank phone calls where the the person you're phoning is in on the joke and has a script to read off. What's the point if it's not real?
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:47 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

I am a secretary who likes cats, and I laughed so hard I cried.

I'm also capable of pasting a picture of a cat into a Word document all by myself, because I have fingers.
posted by Evangeline at 8:47 AM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

Wow, this joke really is a bit of a Rorschach test for humor. It seems like there are many perspectives here on where the "funny" is -- or isn't.

I was initially Not Amused by this joke, for the reasons several others have stated. I don't perceive any satirical value in an arrogant, prickish employer mocking his subordinate, especially when the subordinate is in some type of emotional distress. I don't know, maybe it's something about the times we're living in, but humor deriving from the privileged asserting their superiority at the expense of the less-privileged just strikes me as petty and small of spirit.

However, what made me laugh (silently) about this the more I thought about it was the inherent foolishness of the secretary requesting professional design services for a "lost cat" poster. It becomes funny once you step back and look at what's happening here.

(1) Why is the secretary even asking this in the first place? It's not the imposition on the Very Important Designer's time that's foolish, but the fact that she was asking for professional work to be done on something where professional work is actually inappropriate. This made me flash back to when I had to make a "lost cat" poster for my own lost cat, which thrust me into a crazy angst spiral because I had to fight my natural impulse to make it look all slick and polished, but then I thought about the fact that I was deliberately lame-ing up the poster to make it look more "genuine," which made me think about the fact that I was going through this whole design-process angst over this fucking lost cat poster. So this is funny -- it's like hiring a graphic artist to sort through your photos of your missing child to find a really artistically compelling one that will compliment the side of the milk carton.

(2) Designers gonna design. That's why I retract my earlier outrage and believe this is as much a skewering of the designer as the secretary, because it's like this guy, even though he is a douchebag, also genuinely cannot not design the cat poster. The designs this guy comes up with are funny to me because most of them make sense from a certain point of view. It's the epitome of being completely right while completely missing the point, which I think has to be the biggest weakness of designers -- getting so caught up in their process that they lose sight of the original purpose of their task.

(3) It's also funny (to me) because it either ridicules or unintentionally exposes the fact that designers, by and large, are contrary, withholding bastards who invariably (albeit understandably) take the starting position that their clients are complete idiots, and assume that whatever the client is asking for must be stupid and wrong, and will therefore whenever possible not give the client what they're asking for. Looking at this guy's other stuff, that appears to be the author's whole shtick, so I assume it's an intentional joke.

So anyway, yeah, it's funny, but only for the reasons I outlined above. If you find it funny for other reasons, I denounce you.
posted by Pants McCracky at 8:51 AM on June 24, 2010 [6 favorites]

I completely sidestep all discussions of justification for whether or not we are allowed to laugh at this because I am, by nature, a cruel person.
posted by adipocere at 8:55 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I am neither anti-cat nor anti-receptionist.

But I laughed. Hard.
posted by jeanmari at 8:55 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

And by the way, those of you who think this joke is funny only if it's real and an actual person was actually put through this experience. If you ever find yourself, during your journey through life, in a dark place, an introspective place, where you look at yourself in the metaphorical mirror and wonder, "Am I a human being, or just a dead-eyed husk with a dried crusty smear where my soul should be?" Make no mistake: you are, in fact, a dead-eyed husk with a dried crusty smear where your soul should be.
posted by Pants McCracky at 8:57 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

He gets a lifetime pass from me based on nothing more than having created the yes/no pie chart. The apex of infographic based humor.
posted by Babblesort at 8:59 AM on June 24, 2010

Hi metafilter.com, you could stand to kick off your shoes and do some drugs and kill some brain cells and enjoy life a little bit more. Consider this an intervention. And yep, this was only mildly amusing for me, but I find the outrage outrageous.
posted by naju at 9:03 AM on June 24, 2010

How on earth can anyone read this and not understand that it's fictional?

People who have already read the pie-chart one and found out that the obtuse client in question in that case actually exists and has threatened but not taken legal action, maybe?
posted by motty at 9:03 AM on June 24, 2010

Overthinking a plate of beans? That's where MeFi's a Viking!
posted by mazola at 9:08 AM on June 24, 2010

I would like people to consider the fact that he has been doing this shit for literally years, and I assume his secretary has worked for him for some time and presumably knows what he is like -- I mean, he did publish a collection of these in book form. Consider also the fact that there are 2 other designers at his firm, who are presumably not colossal assholes.

Taking that all into account, I find it exceedingly unlikely that if he is really as big an asshole as his posts would make it appear, that she would actually ask him to do this or be surprised that he would respond this way.

I am guessing that it's most likely that she asked him to do something like this, he more or less politely declined and then wrote a blog post about it after he finished with paying work.
posted by empath at 9:10 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

This thread is funnier than the link (which is pretty funny). maddox would give some of you an aneurysm.
posted by cj_ at 9:14 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

This guy should get together with Kevin Smith, while the Mods are on vacation.
posted by hellojed at 9:14 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Does it say anywhere that she's his secretary? In my experience, people in business services don't have secretaries. Nobody in our IT department has a secretary. Nobody in our marketing department has a secretary. Our design team is in London, but I suspect they don't have secretaries either.

In other words, this is a little like me emailing my IT department and asking them to burn a playlist onto a CD for me.
posted by Evangeline at 9:15 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I didn't really focus on her being a secretary (or even notice, really) as much as I focused on her being an idiot. Equal treatment is all you should get, right? All things being equal, if it were real, no matter WHO it is, to not get that he's pranking your cat-obsessed ass over and over again with each new cat poster slathers a whole boatload of 'kick me' all over you.

But would she even be aware that he's being cruel to her? Ah...it reminds of Flowers for Algernon, except no one gets smarter, and it's with cats instead of rats and it's nothing at all alike, really. But other than that....
posted by umberto at 9:28 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

The other ones were funny, this just fell flat. I guess the posters are a little funny, but they whole exchange feels like he's trying way too hard to be that ker-azy edgy guy.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:32 AM on June 24, 2010

The e-mail bits try way too hard and really mar the piece, he should have just stuck with the casually playful cruelty of the posters and the secretary's frustrated yet obsequious responses.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:33 AM on June 24, 2010

It's not so hard to make an awesome lost cat poster.
posted by vespabelle at 9:35 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

He seems like the kind of prick who thinks he deserves a secretary. So he made one up, in his head. And then he was an asshole to his imaginary secretary. Hilarious.

The fact is, some powerful people actually don't like the people who serve them. Remember after Chuck Schumer called some stewardess a bitch? There was an article by Micheal Wolf basically Saying that it was no big deal and that actually said "Everybody knows modern life is a pitched battle between the server and the served" which probably sounds bizarre to anyone who's not a millionare. And he said "the tyranny of the public interface of the service economy" Equally bizarre.

So it makes sense for a rich entitled prat to feel like he's the one being oppressed by his assistants and helpers for not being all that awesome. That's how a lot of rich people feel and that's why they would find this funny.
posted by delmoi at 9:45 AM on June 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

Because the site was being hammered both with people who found it hi-LArious and people who did not care for that sort of thing at ALL, thank you very much, I read the whole thread here before I got to read the original post. I was on the fence until, "It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space. " From then on, I was onboard.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:48 AM on June 24, 2010

If real, then I feel the same way about him that he feels about cats. If fake, pretty damn funny. If this is real and he did this because he thinks cruel things that are funny when fictionalized are also funny when the cruelty is real, then he has a severe lack of empathy and should probably get himself into therapy.
posted by davejay at 10:13 AM on June 24, 2010

Reading the comments here, apparently fake. So pretty damn funny.
posted by davejay at 10:16 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

It's funny. This guy's shtick has been making the rounds on the interwebs for years. Certainly the people that work with him, including the secretary, have to know they are going to be messed with.
posted by quadog at 10:24 AM on June 24, 2010

I think what I took away from this whole thing is that cats are complete assholes. Maybe I skimmed?
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:37 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

The "re: re: re: re:" stuff would kind of argue for that. Do any mail clients really still do that?

Maybe Aretha Franklin's.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:40 AM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

The humor here is in the voicing outloud of the horrible things you think as you take a deep breath and politely decline.

Except some of us don't actually think horrible things when people ask us to do creative work for them for free. We either politely decline or do the work, if we have the time and feel like it.

Wasn't especially humorous to me. I know too many designers and artists who do think horrible things should anyone ask them to do something for them.
posted by Orb at 10:47 AM on June 24, 2010

Whoa. Are you telling me that The Office isn't a documentary?!
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:00 AM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

To those getting all righteous because it's not funny to pretend to be mean to a fictional underling because it's cruel for the fictionally more powerful to pretend to abuse the invented less powerful, not all of his comedy bits are about a boss berating an employee -- in fact, I think pretty much all the rest aren't. So, that "explanation" for why his comedy doesn't work is a little thin.

Anyway, to make a long story short: explaining why something isn't funny is about as pointless as explaining why it is funny. Different Strokes, people.
posted by Saxon Kane at 11:19 AM on June 24, 2010

He seems like the kind of prick who thinks he deserves a secretary. So he made one up, in his head. And then he was an asshole to his imaginary secretary. Hilarious.

Post needs the 27bslash6 and davidthorne tags.

delmoi, he's also on twitter.

Also, previously, and drunk previously.

On youtube.

And if you think there's no way he'd treat an underling this way, then ignore the video proof.

I seldom tire of David's antics. I'll reserve my opinion on the validity of it all. I will say that one of the people involved in one of his pranks has a different side to the same story.

Also, Simon Edhouse is on the record as saying the whole p2p2 exchange was fake. I'm failing to find a link though. He's on twitter as well, and I followed him when that whole mess was going on.

David sent me a dollar once and I have a standing invite to sleep on his couch. Of course, that's probably fake as well.
posted by cjorgensen at 12:36 PM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I posit that it's only not funny if it's fake if you ever thought it was real.

Put another way: That if you never thought it was real it's still funny even if it's fake.
posted by lodurr at 12:50 PM on June 24, 2010

This does open the door to comedy meta-discussions, it's true.

Yes, it's kind of pointless arguing about why something's funny -- but i confess I find it fascinating to think about or discuss why something's funny.

I think a lot about the power of comedy, in the past few years. One of the few lessons I took from Ayn Rand that had any lasting hold on me was her long diatribe in one of her books about the power of humor to destroy. Humor is pretty indiscriminate -- Molly Ivins was right about that (wise woman), it's a powerful instrument and it's kind of obscene to use it on small targets. (Though humor being what it is, I'm sure someone here could make a pretty good joke out of that. It would probably involve a kitten and a gun.)

What I find really interesting is the idea that you can set up your gag so it's funny to two or more groups of people for totally contradictory reasons. This seems to me to be what delmoi is talking about, up-thread: This could be designed to be funny to 'rich prats' because they see it as making fun of little people, and funny to admins because they see it as making fun of rich prats. A lot of modern humor feels like that to me, and that kind of humor feels a little dirty to me when I notice that about it. Not as funny.
posted by lodurr at 1:11 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

From the 27b/6 Facebook group post announcing this new entry: "The only cat I really dislike is Garfield. Or, more particularly, its illustrator. The cat is fat and likes lasagne. We get it Jim."

Reading the entry again, nowhere is it stated that Shannon Walkley is a secretary, his or otherwise. It could be inferred from the line "I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window", but that could just as well suggest a random colleague, whether fictional or real.

Assuming real at some level: if a colleague mocked me online and random strangers observed that my persecutor should stop picking on the poor powerless little people, I'm not sure I'd feel better.
posted by rory at 2:11 PM on June 24, 2010

Let's see we got

anti-cat sentiments workplace power dynamics (with possible sexism subtext) asshole graphic designers vs their clueless clients/co-workers I laughed, I winced, and I thought "man if I set out deliberately to troll MetaFilter I could not have done a better job". Bravo, sir.
posted by chaff at 2:30 PM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

I've found some of his stuff to be funny in the past. This didn't work for me, no matter what his intent might have been. In fact, I'd give it a C- and ask him to explain his goal before even asking for a rewrite, because while the actual posters were funny, the text wasn't.

I guess that's why designers need to pair up with writers.
posted by mkhall at 2:30 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Whether the content is found to be amusing or not, my articles are designed to be related to and provoke discussion. It is the discussion, such as the one I have just interrupted, that drives traffic and people that relate (and find it humorous) that drive book sales.

Whether I post articles verbatim (it is my prerogative to correct spelling and grammar afterwards) or I lend some creative license to such... who cares? I do not have political commentary and I am not trying to save the whales, I am distracting myself from working in an industry devoid of conscience with a group of people that make retarded monkeys look like fusion reactor technicians. If others find humour in my site then I am glad I made them happy for a few minutes during what is probably a crappy work for them too. If they did not find humour there, there are thousands of other sites that cater for various demographics.

I enjoy writing. If nobody found it amusing I would still do so.
posted by 27bslash6 at 2:55 PM on June 24, 2010 [14 favorites]

ugh
posted by nathancaswell at 3:08 PM on June 24, 2010

It made me laugh out loud a bunch, at work, so thanks to empath for posting it, and to - (apparently, now) mefi's own 27bslash6 for writing it- and for stopping by, as well!
posted by hap_hazard at 3:09 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

in an industry devoid of conscience

Well, you're sure not adding any.
posted by Malor at 3:11 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I enjoy writing. If nobody found it amusing I would still do so.

Not unlike Jim Davis!
posted by found missing at 3:12 PM on June 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

I found this immediately funny. I'm gifted in that regard.

Then I found all of the explanations proposed here hilarious.

Now 27bslash6, himself, chimes in (presumably, hopefully) and I am filled with one burning question:

How old is the girl flipping off the camera on the right side of your site, 27bslash6? In order to engage in a lengthy philosophical process to determine whether I find her attractive, I need to estimate what circle of hell I would find myself in for doing so.
posted by gurple at 3:13 PM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Well, you're sure not adding any.

Constructed, verbatim or devoid of conscience, if I posted photos of sunflowers there would be no driven discussion of "I lol'd" vs "what a complete prick"

Having all comments positive is static. If there are negative comments left, others will argue and/or justify their preferences and defend that preference in the online communities such as this. A positive comment may be met with a few others agreeing with the statement but a negative one will be met with many people arguing against the comment. You need both demographics for factions to be created. For a brand, or a pointless website such as mine, factions are gold.
posted by 27bslash6 at 3:21 PM on June 24, 2010

How old is the girl flipping off the camera on the right side of your site

Twenty four when the photo was taken three years ago. Her real name is Belinda.
posted by 27bslash6 at 3:23 PM on June 24, 2010

double ugh!
posted by nathancaswell at 3:23 PM on June 24, 2010

Also: first, we can't make fun of Kevin Smith for being fat and sucking at his chosen profession, now we can't laugh at someone making fun of an imaginary cat-owner? WHAT HAPPENED TO US?

I own a cat, and yes I would be very sad if something happened to her, but if someone in Real Life was this over the top w/ the flippant cruelty, it would be funny. It would suck if they were doing it to me, but since they're not, it's f'in hilarious! It's called humor people, look it up!

Maybe this would be a good place for a Michael O'Donoghue quote... oh, wait, this is even better than the one I was looking for. On Belushi's death:

"I was there the morning John died. He was lying on the floor of his bungalow. When I tried to revive him, the “big guy” opened his eyes and whispered, “Dope is for dopes.” And he died. It was the last thing he ever said. I took his wallet and left. "
posted by hap_hazard at 3:24 PM on June 24, 2010

double ugh!

Demographic C. Thank you for your enlightening addition to the discussion. Typing the word double must have been a task with a single finger.
posted by 27bslash6 at 3:28 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Twenty four when the photo was taken three years ago. Her real name is Belinda.

Thank goodness. "Fourteen and get your eyes off my daughter, asshole" would have been funnier, though. Pro-tip.
posted by gurple at 3:33 PM on June 24, 2010

Thank goodness. "Fourteen and get your eyes off my daughter, asshole" would have been funnier, though. Pro-tip.

I usually just reply to most people sending me emails stating what they would like to do to her, that it is me in a wig.
posted by 27bslash6 at 3:38 PM on June 24, 2010

Yeah but the point is it's a style of comedy that only works if it's not fake.

If the thing was merely a to-and-fro of written email responses, I might see that point. But the actual lost kitteh posters themselves took it from a slightly meh email exchange with humerous recollections (tm) to making me almost choke with laughter - there is a nasty brilliance to the way each interesting-in-its-own-right revision of the poster screws with the asker slightly differently.
posted by Sparx at 3:42 PM on June 24, 2010

Graphic designers, along with computer professionals, are people which no one feels any remorse in exploiting. If you have never worked in these fields, you may not understand just how often some jackhole comes along and wants you to work for free. I mean All. The. Time.

So true. Perhaps my favourite example was one time when I was manning an election booth. I was handing out material for the Greens - who are the most left/liberal party in the country with any real parliamentary representation (environmental focus, openly gay leader, welcoming to refugees etc etc).

Also at the polling booth was a woman from Pauline Hanson's One Nation Party, whose platform was straight out of the mouth of an Ann Coulter-style shock jock (no Asians immigration, stop giving welfare handouts to aboriginals, speak English or die, no gay marriage; you get the idea).

And you could predict what's coming next: "Oh, you work in computing, do you? Hey, my son's friend's mechanic installed Windows on my PC from a burned CD and now I can't open my email browser reader. Do you think you could come to my house & fix it for me after the booth closes? The people at the computer shop said they wouldn't help me because I hadn't bought the Windows program from them..."
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:08 PM on June 24, 2010

For a brand, or a pointless website such as mine, factions are gold.

That industry you decry so vehemently has infected you very thoroughly, I see.
posted by Malor at 5:08 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

27bslash6: I would like to do you in a wig. That is, both of us wearing wigs.
posted by Saxon Kane at 5:13 PM on June 24, 2010

That industry you decry so vehemently has infected you very thoroughly, I see.

All these websites are yours except 27bslash6.com. Attempt no surfings there.
posted by gurple at 5:14 PM on June 24, 2010

Reduced to simple economics:

Is he getting paid for his design work?
or:
Is it a favor for a friend?
(I do favors sometimes for people, sometimes cheerfully, sometimes grumbling along the way, and sometimes not).

or:
Is it a favor for an employee?
(If the favors involved are complex or demanding, then just charge a reduced rate).

Conclusion: don't be a crappy boss.
posted by ovvl at 5:31 PM on June 24, 2010

I love my cats, one of whom recently went through a crisis, the longest job I've ever held was as a glorified secretary, and that Molly Ivins line as long been one of my favorites. At first I thought David had finally stepped way over the line with this one, but god help me if it didn't end up being hilarious. The secretary wasn't powerless here - children can and do make these posters in no time every day. The humor here was in the willful obtuseness and seemingly endless ways in which David found to screw this up for her.

I nearly lost it at "REWARD: $2000" and then even moreso at "NO REWARD."

And yeah, in the end, she got her poster. Probably even more useful than most because of that jaunty red hat. That's bound to catch the eye.
posted by Navelgazer at 5:52 PM on June 24, 2010

Thank you for your enlightening addition to the discussion. Typing the word double must have been a task with a single finger.

Guess which one.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:21 PM on June 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Note: Help maintain a healthy, respectful discussion by focusing comments on the issues, topics, and facts at hand—not at other members of the site, even if they are professional trolls.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:21 PM on June 24, 2010

Guess which one.

Right pinky? I mean, if I were typing that comment...that's the finger I'd be using, because, you know, the other three of my right hand (and the thumb) and my entire left hand would be wrapped around my...never mind. This, as you know, makes it extremely difficult to type!

This is why it's understandable that it took you 3 hours to come up with a comeback! Oh, I am sure you'll have some other excuse, but honestly, we both know the truth!

I promise to let it go it you will. Pinky shake?

Also: Dear metafilter, I may be responsible (self-link) for 27bslash6 joining metafilter.

Yay! or Sorry! whichever you prefer.

I'm still at a loss why he isn't suing these people.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:28 PM on June 24, 2010

Cjorgensen,

You can do better. D+.
posted by josher71 at 7:30 PM on June 24, 2010

D+?

That's the last time I sleep with you for a grade!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:35 PM on June 24, 2010

you should never ask people to grade you on your performance in bed.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:38 PM on June 24, 2010

I get that others can find it funny; I know I laugh at things plenty of other people would find horrific. I'm not outraged or offended, I just find it in particularly bad taste, because I don't think inviting your readers to imagine horrific images of animals in pain, even in fiction, is funny. It's unpleasant and makes me unhappy.
posted by tzikeh at 8:04 PM on June 24, 2010

I thought it was fucking hilarious and while I was reading it on the tram this morning people started looking at me strangely because I was laughing so hard.

I mean come on! In the last picture the cat is wearing a hat! A hat!
posted by awfurby at 8:41 PM on June 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Am I the only one that has LOST DOG fliers already made up so I can add the date and print them up asap?
posted by The Hamms Bear at 9:16 PM on June 24, 2010

you should never ask people to grade you on your performance in bed

As long as they don't do it on the curve, I'm not worried.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:20 PM on June 24, 2010

The results just wouldn't look as good as a graphic designer could do.

LOL!!
posted by Jimmy Havok at 11:32 PM on June 24, 2010

As long as they don't do it on the curve, I'm not worried.

Nothing to be afraid of; it's normal for people to have one or two standard deviations.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:39 AM on June 25, 2010

"And if you think there's no way he'd treat an underling this way, then ignore the video proof."

David : "No, she won't smile for the camera, because ~~she's having her woman's period~~ she thinks you're an somewhat boring and socially inept wanker."

FTFY.
posted by HopperFan at 2:55 AM on June 25, 2010

Er, "a somewhat..." etc...

I had a couple of other unflattering adjectives in my initial comment that I had second thoughts on including, and forgot to fix that bit.
posted by HopperFan at 2:58 AM on June 25, 2010

As far as source material goes, I get letters and notes all the time that I'd love to respond to in the snarkiest manner possible but I don't because I'm a whuss. I love the idea that someone is releasing their most sardonic and surreal vitriol on dickheads with keyboards.

I also understand that I am myself a dickhead with a keyboard so I'll never write you an email, 27bslash6, because your scorn is something that I prefer to laugh at when it's directed at other people.

I don't care whether it's completely true or not
posted by h00py at 4:35 AM on June 25, 2010

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism.

Heh.
posted by Artw at 6:33 AM on June 25, 2010

yeh, that line was kind of priceless. I find myself re-experiencing that epiphany on a too-frequent basis.
posted by lodurr at 6:58 AM on June 25, 2010

I find myself pining for crude polygons and Nine Inch Nails samples.
posted by Artw at 7:01 AM on June 25, 2010

As far as source material goes, I get letters and notes all the time that I'd love to respond to in the snarkiest manner possible but I don't because I'm a whuss.

You just forward those letters on to me.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:34 AM on June 25, 2010 [1 favorite]

HopperFan, "She is having a woman's period" is a long standing joke with Lillian and I, it is from the television series Red Dwarf. Out of context I can see how that comes across.
posted by 27bslash6 at 7:44 AM on June 25, 2010

Out of context? That's where MeFites are vikings.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 7:59 AM on June 25, 2010

Oh, good, because it looks like I just out of contexted again.
posted by Artw at 8:00 AM on June 25, 2010

as long as it wasn't the fjords we knew you were still alive.
posted by lodurr at 8:58 AM on June 25, 2010

HopperFan, "She is having a woman's period" is a long standing joke with Lillian and I, it is from the television series Red Dwarf. Out of context I can see how that comes across.

Seriously, you don't need to defend yourself. Haters gonna hate.
posted by empath at 9:24 AM on June 25, 2010

> So he has a valuable talent and as such wasting his valuable time is wasting his valuable talent, or it's a thing anybody can do and wasting their non-valuable, non-talented time being an ass is a-okay.

The problem with people like this, even when they are occasionally funny, which in this case I think is mildly the case, is that it encourages non-funny people who think they are funny to try the same thing in reality, increasing the world's assholery-to-funny quotient exponentially.

I face the "You have too much time on your hands" criticism for my hobbies as well. The last time was from a woman that goes golfing every week.

This gets leveled at creatives all the time. Like to draw? You have too much time on your hands. Like to make things out of clay? You have too much time on your hands. Write poetry, short stories, or Harry Potter slash fiction? You have too much....

Seriously, a person can write a couple decent poems or a short story in the amount of time it takes to watch a Super Bowl.

And as to inspiring people to be assholes...eh, not sure I get that either. If you get into community theater because you daydream of being a Hollywood actor, or swim every week because you idolize an Olympic athlete, or fantasize about being a singer/songwriter because you really dig Nick Cave...I don't see these as bad things.

If you're making the case that David and his ilk are poor role models, well, no shit, but so are South Park, Jackass, about any reality TV show, and Tipper Gore.

And a lot of people that shoot for something fall far short. Does that mean people shouldn't?

I'd rather see non-funny people try to be funny and fail than have more humorless people in the world, but then again, I may just have a higher tolerance for assholes.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:58 AM on June 25, 2010

"HopperFan, "She is having a woman's period" is a long standing joke with Lillian and I, it is from the television series Red Dwarf. Out of context I can see how that comes across."

Thank you for that gracious explanation- I apologize for my previous comment.
posted by HopperFan at 10:00 AM on June 25, 2010

I can't wait to see this thread on 27bslash6.
posted by DU at 10:48 AM on June 25, 2010

I've been spending the last hour enjoyably wasting time on 27bslash6's site. Chatroulette and Permission Slip are priceless.
posted by misha at 11:45 AM on June 25, 2010

possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle...

I think I found the cat.
posted by mazola at 1:26 PM on June 25, 2010

Simon's Chatroulette experience reminds me of my girlfriend's experience on The Palace, a long-ago experiment with avatar-based chat. She'd type something witty and the other party would immediately cut out. We got the sense all anyone was interested in was chat sex.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 1:59 PM on June 25, 2010

Jimmy Havok & empath, who the fnck is Simon?
posted by 27bslash6 at 2:58 PM on June 25, 2010 [1 favorite]

Heh, after 100 comments, i just noticed that. you know, i have no idea where i got simon from. I think i was reading some other page at the same time i posted that and got my wires crossed.
posted by empath at 3:10 PM on June 25, 2010

Oops, Simon's the guy who got the pie charts explaining how little interest David had in doing stuff for him.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 6:03 PM on June 25, 2010

oh, that's probably it.
posted by empath at 6:23 PM on June 25, 2010

Jimmy Havok & empath, who the fnck is Simon?
posted by 27bslash6 at 4:58 PM on June 25 [1 favorite +] [!]

You can swear here, dude; we're all adults

or at least pottymouthed children or possibly cats with thumbs, who knows
posted by jtron at 3:46 PM on June 28, 2010 [1 favorite]

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"Fine. That will have to do."
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