I want this job because it pays better than the one I have now. It also probably pays better than the one you have, which is why I need your vote!1 It also has better healthcare than either of our jobs. I'm lazy, which works out well for us, since I'll just do whatever you tell me to do. Seriously, I'm not going to read those bills. I'm not even going to have an opinion. You tell me how to vote and consider it done! If I don't keep up my end, don't vote me back in! No, I won't have affairs in office. My girlfriend would kick my ass if I did! But in the off chance that I do decide to risk this ass kicking (I won't), I can assure you I won't be answering questions about it, since honestly, it's none of your fucking business. You put me in office to vote how you want me to vote. I promise to do this. I'll be your soulless puppet, since I like the idea of the raise and better benefits. Let's just agree to disagree when it comes to what I may or may not (but won't) do with my penis (you have your puppet, I have mine!). Also, I promise to take no money from special interest groups unless this is the only way to beat my drug using, homophobic, male-prostitute-paying,2 dishonest, disingenuous, unpatriotic, and terrorist loving opponent!
Vote Christopher L. Jorgensen for Congress!
Paid for by the "not_on_display for Christopher L. Jorgensen for Congress Committee."
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