"'BANZAI!' is what Woodstock would have been screaming had he been wired into a vocoder at the moment."
June 25, 2010 3:11 PM Subscribe
posted by WCityMike (8 comments total)
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Funny, apocalyptic cultural-mashup stories circulated as text files from the hoary days of the Internet's early-'90s adolescence: A Peanuts Halloween II: Electric Boogaloo1
and Apocalypse Now (Or in That General Time Area): A Different Twist on the Final Judgement of Mankind2
, both by Gary Achenbach (a/k/a Subgenius Rev. Gar Drastic)
; Day of the Barney3
and Son of Barney4
by Brian Bull; and Star Wars: the Purple Sith5
, by Ali Hadden. 1"It had been a pleasant surprise when it was discovered that the perennially-silent Franklin had been probably the smartest man alive on the planet, even before Van Pelt unleashed his hordes of darkness."
2"'SO LET IT BE DONE!' Azag-Thoth intoned, then peeled a carbon copy off of the back of the contract. 'Here's your copy, here's ours...and I'm afraid God still gets one for the records since we haven't actually started the war quite yet.'"
3"Jeremy had never known of or seen a Loved One until well after the Great Act of Love. They were mysterious creatures, who spoke no language and communicated in curious grunts and coos."
4"Look at the poor bastard. He's not lovable. Hell, he's not even purple, more a sickly mauve. The skin's not plush and chubby, rather wrinkled, mottled, and those thick veins sticking out everywhere is a pretty long call from the one we all love and worship."
5"Don't you understand, Luke? Not only will that sector raise a race of mindless, politically correct invalids, but it will bankrupt us! You might...(she grasps his arms, a horrifying thought coming to her) ... Good lord, Mar—I mean, Luke ... you might have to start doing ... voice-overs."
(Not enough? Next on your list: Pooh Goes Apeshit
or Death Zone Purple