Skip

True Blood: "not just any connection, but an erotic connection"
June 27, 2010 7:25 AM   Subscribe

Summer's here, which means a new season of everyone's favorite slashfic-friendly show, True Blood. But this season doesn't only bring us Louisianan vampires, it also includes a very special message from Snoop Dogg, who proves that he's no slouch at imagining new erotic developments for the characters.
posted by Greg Nog (193 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
Snoop Dogg is pretty much my forever girl at this point, especially after the Martha Stewart mashed potatoes episode.

I still can't decide if I want the show to stick closer to the ridiculous books, or remain on its awesomely bizarre deviant path, although I am leaning away from book canon. My judgment on this is mostly coloured by Jessica, who does not exist in the books and is one of my favourite characters on the show.
posted by elizardbits at 7:45 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


[spoiler removed at OP's request, carry on]
posted by jessamyn at 7:52 AM on June 27, 2010


Thank you, jessamyn. Now let's get down to discussing the important thing here: if you were to pair Snoop with any character on True Blood, who would it be? My vote right now is Maryanne, but mainly because I think they would just smoke a lot of weed together.
posted by Greg Nog at 7:55 AM on June 27, 2010


I like the ridiculousness of that song, and I hope that MTV reworks it for Jersey Shore Season 2.

What's the story behind it, though -- is Snoop just a huge fan? HBO pay him a big chunk of cash?
posted by graventy at 7:59 AM on June 27, 2010


One of my favorite things about True Blood is it creates its own slashfiction, right there in the show. No need to turn to the internet at all!
posted by kittyloop at 8:00 AM on June 27, 2010


if you were to pair Snoop with any character on True Blood, who would it be?

OMG SARAH NEWLIN. Because you know she has an unholy lust for the bad boys.
posted by elizardbits at 8:02 AM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


i only smoke true bud..
posted by empath at 8:08 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


OMG SARAH NEWLIN. Because you know she has an unholy lust for the bad boys.

Jason's a good guy! He's just dumb as hell.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:12 AM on June 27, 2010


I watched the first five minutes of the first episode of "True Blood" and the horrible accents drove me away. Right about the time when I thought I'd give the show another chance, they trashed my hometown for a pivotal scene. (They cleaned it all up, but still...hard to see your hometown that way).

Should I overlook those things and be watching this show? I still have a lot of anger against Alan Ball for "Six Feet Under."
posted by ColdChef at 8:14 AM on June 27, 2010


What's the story behind it, though -- is Snoop just a huge fan? HBO pay him a big chunk of cash?

I would imagine it's the latter. However, it tickles me to think it's the former.

I've been watching True Blood on DVD, and while there are things I can't stand about it -- the way damn near every cliffhanger seems to be a fakeout, for one thing, and also the way that you think cool shit is gonna happen (like [REDACTED] becoming a vampire!) only to...um...not have that cool shit happen, and I mean, this happens on this show A LOT -- S2 is such a huge improvement over the first that I'm considering breaking down and getting HBO now. Put Jessica back in goth gear and the deal is fuckin' sealed.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:15 AM on June 27, 2010


I think the accents are supposed to be horrible - the whole thing is so incredibly campy that it would be jarring if they spoke like real people.
posted by something something at 8:20 AM on June 27, 2010


The character accents are even more hilarrible when you hear the cast members speaking with their own regular accents in the pre-show clips.
posted by elizardbits at 8:23 AM on June 27, 2010


As for following the books, I've read all of them, along with the short stories, and the show is much better. I agree that Jessica is a great character, and Lafayette is much cooler on the show than in the books. I say they should let it go on it's own. It's nice that they follow the mythology of the books pretty well, (except episode 2 this season showed that who can become a shifter is a little looser than in the books). I actually really dig reading/watching this series alongside the Merxedes Thompson series. Here, vampires are a lot tougher than werewolves, and there it's the other way around.

And Snoop would hang with the coroner. You saw what he was like when he cut loose under the Maenad.
posted by monkeymadness at 8:23 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]




The show has two distinct advantages over the books:

1. The writing isn't terrible.
2. Sookie in the show isn't the kind of Mary Sue that someone with really low self-esteem would write.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:30 AM on June 27, 2010 [5 favorites]


A very special True Blood vampire Nazi dinner party

I too want to see a spinoff about Terry and his trusty armadillo Felix.
posted by homunculus at 8:31 AM on June 27, 2010 [7 favorites]


The main reason I'm interested in the show following certain aspects of book canon is the book 5? 6? reveal about Sookie & Jason's ancestry. I really, really, urgently want to see how they handle that, as it will most certainly be beyond all previous levels of ridiculousness.
posted by elizardbits at 8:33 AM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


I like the show. The plots are ridiculous but I think camp is a refreshing way to go when the other big vampire franchise is Twilight. I think the reason the accents disappoint is that the incredible title sequence suggests a completely different show, one that's really steeped in the otherworldly, frozen-in-time atmosphere of the deep south. And then you get a show that's more Deveraux than Dubois, Blanchewise. Really the title sequence, were it to fit what follows, would be more like a clip of each character doing something cool, ending with a freeze-frame and the actor's name.
posted by condour75 at 8:43 AM on June 27, 2010 [4 favorites]


The title sequence is basically a series of shots of sex, death, and religion in the South, which means it's always struck me as perfect for the show.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:58 AM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm fortunate, in that having never visited the USA and so having no idea what real southern accents sound like I can just get on and enjoy the show and think wrong thoughts about Eric.

I threw the first series on my iThing to rewatch after series 3 started, and it makes me laugh how much the early episodes seem like an explicit response to Bella/Jedward in Twilight.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 9:17 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hilarrible is a word i will be using from now on, and forever. Thank you, elizardbits!

Also, I agree that the opening credits are pretty perfect.
posted by annsunny at 9:22 AM on June 27, 2010


S3 is thus far shaping up to be better than S2, especially with Sookie's Bill impression last week ("SOOKAH!!!!"). We need less Sookie and Bill and more Jessica and Hoyt (and Eric).
posted by biscotti at 9:26 AM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


The credit for that awesomely descriptive word must go to Cleolinda on lj, who coined it to describe all things Twilight.
posted by elizardbits at 9:28 AM on June 27, 2010


Should I overlook those things and be watching this show?

I think it depends on how much over-the-top ridiculousness you're into. If I were you, I would think of it less as any kind of accurate depiction of the geographic area, more a completely loopy fever-dream. And a fever-dream that is more willing than any other show I've ever seen to pair up random characters sexually, just because the fans think it would be kind of adorable.

I like to think of it according to the measure "How much should I be drinking while I watch this?"

The Wire is a zero-beer show
Planet Earth is a one-beer show
House is a two-beer show
True Blood requires something like five or six beers, but man, it's a fun thing to whoop and holler at.
posted by Greg Nog at 9:32 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Man, True Blood is a real stupid show. It is so silly. On the other hand the writers are quite good at doing at least two things:

- depicting completely fucked up parent/child relationships, good lord, like every single one in the show

- and putting good lines into stupid/naive characters' mouths, which is why Jason and Jessica are so hilarious; that bit in the latest episode "What else is real... Bigfoot? Santa?" had me loling on the roflcopter
posted by furiousthought at 9:34 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


True Blood is trashy and silly and sexy and fun, and its absolute worst moments are those when it takes itself seriously. Or when Tara's mom is onscreen.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:35 AM on June 27, 2010




I am enjoying the shoe's commitment to being a batshit softcore bisexual porn grand guguol. Everyone looks like they're having so much fun.
posted by The Whelk at 9:42 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Tara's mom is a nightmare beyond imagining, but holy shit, they hit the fucking jackpot when they cast Lafayette's mom. I'm hoping we'll be seeing some more of Alfre Woodard this season.
posted by elizardbits at 9:43 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


show.

Shoes are also important.

Also, I would watch an hour of Jessica and Pam having scary girl talk.
posted by The Whelk at 9:44 AM on June 27, 2010 [5 favorites]


(also, Hoyt got a new haircut and lost like 30 pounds over the season break which is a bit jarring cause in show time it's only been like a day or so since we've seen him last and also I don't like how his head looks now so there')
posted by The Whelk at 9:47 AM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


The main reason I'm interested in the show following certain aspects of book canon is the book 5? 6? reveal about Sookie & Jason's ancestry. I really, really, urgently want to see how they handle that, as it will most certainly be beyond all previous levels of ridiculousness.


Well in the last episode there is that big big reveal (for the book fans) that they are Totally Doing That Plot, which could be very ...interesting.

As for tara and her family drama, I dunno, it's almost too serious feeling for the show mostly cause it's something horrible within the realm of the real and they're doing it really well and it's jarring next to NAZI WEREWOLVES and The Gay Vampire Tennessee Williams Theater. Looks like Lafeffette is finally gonna get a man of his own, which knowing this show, means he's secretly an Incubus or something.
posted by The Whelk at 9:56 AM on June 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


Should I overlook those things and be watching this show?

The show is very fun. The accents you get used to (and the one you may have hated most isn't something to worry about anymore, without giving too much away). Season 2 had one of the most magnificent portrayals of a vampire I have ever seen in Godric, an ancient vampire. It's not for serious watching but it beats the hell out of the Twilight franchise.

The only thing I hate about the show is the cliffhangers. Seriously, has there ever been a show with worse?
posted by Night_owl at 9:58 AM on June 27, 2010


And oh yeah Eric. Mmm.
posted by Night_owl at 9:59 AM on June 27, 2010


they are Totally Doing That Plot, which could be very ...interesting.

I personally am hoping for sparkly-vampire-level foolishness.


The show's handing of Godric was fantastic, omg. I was insanely bitter about the book Godric, who I felt was a character with enormous amounts of potential for fascinating backstory, all of which was totally fucking wasted. UGH RAGEFLAIL.
posted by elizardbits at 10:05 AM on June 27, 2010


Eric! You hate Eric? I'm just... whu... that's like...

Eric is the best thing on the show. I could happily watch just the Eric and Pam show. Especially if Jessica is their wacky neighbor. True Blood is the most funnest thing that's been on TV since the early seasons of X-Files.
posted by Babblesort at 10:10 AM on June 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


Also last episode made fairly explicit something only hinted at at the end of last season RE: Bill's actual intentions at the start.
posted by The Whelk at 10:11 AM on June 27, 2010


The only thing I hate about the show is the cliffhangers. Seriously, has there ever been a show with worse?

Oh god yes, it's a defining feature. I saw season one on DVD and consumed like potato chips in 3 hour blocks (with burgers! And wine from a box!) so watching it on TV is maddeningly slow and cliffhangery but I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS DAMN YOU TV I AM NOT 12 HOW DO YOU DO THIS?
posted by The Whelk at 10:13 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


true blood:
sookie: now beel i am a grown woman i am NOT scared of going alone now shoo
later: OH NO IM SCARED HEALP BEEL!!!!
(bill is delayed)
s: My boyfrand is a vampar and ur gonna be in big trouble i am not scared of u
(later)
s: OH MY I AM SO SCARRD WHERE R U BEEL
(Bill saves her)
s: No beel i weel NOT marry you! how dar u ask i am a lady
(cue pornofucking/biting)
(repeat with other characters)
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:16 AM on June 27, 2010 [18 favorites]


the Eric and Pam show. Especially if Jessica is their wacky neighbor.

A 3-camera sitcom about the wacky ups and downs of owning a vampire bar? I'd watch that so hard my retinas would detach.

Then again, I'm not suire if I like Pam so much cause she has so little screen time, but sells every second it or just cause I want more of her.

No wait, forget it, I want more Pams. She's just so into being a vampire. It's like the best thing that ever happened to her. Eric may laze about in a tracksuit from time to time but Pam wouldn't be caught alive in anything other the latest cover of Monster's Wear Daily.
posted by The Whelk at 10:17 AM on June 27, 2010 [4 favorites]


its amusing to me that certain people love TB despite its ridiculous plot, trashy sexual politics and scene-chewing acting and yet despise Twilight for some reason. Both are viscerally delicious reptile brain fantasies with little intellectual content but one is on HBO and the other has a bunch of preteen psychos that worship it and so it must be derided. To be honest I like Twilight better because at root it's way way WAY more fucked up and makes me feel almost normal by comparison.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:23 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


I don't have HBO. I acquired all of season two and watched the entire thing one Saturday. The cliffhangers are not nearly so hard to take when you can do the whole season in a single go.

Unlike most shows that I watch this way I found myself actually letting the opening credits play all the way through most of the time. Love that Brakhage of decay, sex, and faith compressed together into a queasy lump of sensation.
posted by Babblesort at 10:23 AM on June 27, 2010 [4 favorites]


Also dang, that snoop dog song is atrocious.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:24 AM on June 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


I'm a fan of both the books and the TV series because they both work in their respective formats. I definitely find TV Tara infinitely more interesting, and Lafayette's my favorite character. I want to write a love letter to Lafayette because he is a man.

I also think that if there were some crossover reality where Snoop did encounter Sookie Stackhouse and Tara Reynolds, it would end in his serious injury.
posted by medea42 at 10:25 AM on June 27, 2010


--Summer's here--

Bloody hemispherists
posted by peacay at 10:27 AM on June 27, 2010


She's just so into being a vampire. It's like the best thing that ever happened to her.

I was trying to find the words to explain why I love Pam so much and you totally just captured it for me. She is so all about being what she is. Bill is tortured, Eric is bored a lot. But Pam has evidently found her groove and is riding it hard and loving every minute of it. Jessica's initial gothic Lolita debauchery was great fun for the same reason.
posted by Babblesort at 10:29 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Atrocious? It has backup dancers in waitress outfits. How can it be atrocious? Your logic is unsound sir.

How about this for a starting point, Twilight is almost painfully square.

How about a complaint I never hear about True Blood. It's been three seasons and I still don't have a handle on Sam's character aside from being quiet, kinda cagey, and labored dog metaphors. He's just a kind of catch all void and it doesn't help that he and Terry have similar enough hair that I get them confused at least once an episode.


Why are they giving Terry all the good lines? He is too good for Arlene, she needs to date someone with a rinse of equal or worse value
posted by The Whelk at 10:30 AM on June 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


I want to write a love letter to Lafayette because he is a man.</em

Lafayette is one of the badasses on the show but damn if he doesn't look like he just dumped an entire flea market onto his head and called it a day.

posted by The Whelk at 10:33 AM on June 27, 2010


its amusing to me that certain people love TB despite its ridiculous plot, trashy sexual politics and scene-chewing acting and yet despise Twilight for some reason.

Although I read the Sookie Stackhouse books, I wouldn't call them brilliant, or even particularly intelligent, they're just fun trashy novels. So are the Twilight books, except with creepy, icky politics and gender relations (book-Sookie has more agency than tv-Sookie). But no one is calling the Sookie books the best novels in the entire world omg wonderful wonderful a model for the way love works.

I haven't watched the Twilight movies, but I suspect it's got the same problem as the books: it takes itself seriously, where True Blood does not.
posted by jeather at 10:38 AM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


I far prefer True Blood to Twilight because True Blood has very few bland, passive characters. Bella Swan exists only as a placeholder into which the reader (and obvsly writer) is meant to insert themselves, to experience creepy stalker Mormon eternal love. Sookie Stackhouse is far from perfect, but I have more respect for her as an emotionally strong woman with self-respect than I ever will for Bella Swan. No fool vampire is going to take the engine out of Sookie's car and tell her she can't see her friends.
posted by elizardbits at 10:39 AM on June 27, 2010 [6 favorites]


Well, Potomac Avenue, I think most folks would rather deal with people who really really enjoy the sex they shouldn't be having rather than people who pretend they don't really really don't want the sex at all even though yes we all know they're lying. —The first is just ever so much more fun.

Which I say having not watched any of True Blood but the opening credits which, damn, but I'm a 'Bama boy and allergic to vampires as a rule so not so much. (As a minor side note, someone somewhere was listing cross-fictional slash pairings that were just, y'know, WRONG, and I think my favorite [for some values of favorite] was James Bond/Bella. Because, ouch.)
posted by kipmanley at 10:40 AM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


Hoyt got a new haircut and lost like 30 pounds over the season break

James Frain looked gaunt in episode 2. I thought he was going to fall over in the scene in which he was restraining the redneck.
posted by mlis at 10:49 AM on June 27, 2010


its amusing to me that certain people love TB despite its ridiculous plot, trashy sexual politics and scene-chewing acting and yet despise Twilight for some reason.

TB: Ridiculous plot, lots of fucking, revels in boy/boy action, loads of hot naked people, high quality cursing (but not Deadwood-level), lots of fucking*.
Twilight: Hand-holding, other repressed mormon non-sex, wholesome baseball games, sparkles.

*[Hedley LaMarr]: You said "lots of fucking" twice.
[Me]: I like lots of fucking.

posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:56 AM on June 27, 2010 [16 favorites]


King of the Vampires: Personally, I can't wait for the end of the world... Not this world. Twenty billion years from now, when this place is eaten by its cooling sun, I'll just go and find another one. And another. And another. [...]

Hobo John Constantine: Spose you've... lived on other worlds before you came to this one?

King of the Vampires: mmm-hmm.

Hobo John Constantine: And all you've ever managed to do is kill people. That's brilliant, that is.

King of the Vampires: Haven't we already covered this? I'm more interested in why, even though I've lived on other worlds before I came to this one, I've always looked like James Dean.

- Hellblazer #69

This show would be better if Garth Ennis wrote it.
posted by kid ichorous at 11:08 AM on June 27, 2010 [6 favorites]




Do people really think Snoop's song is well-written? Or good? It hurts my ears to listen to and in general makes me wonder what HBO was thinking in allowing it to air on their network (and featuring it). Is it for the shock value or something? I really, honestly don't get it.
posted by Night_owl at 11:19 AM on June 27, 2010


S3 is thus far shaping up to be better than S2, especially with Sookie's Bill impression last week ("SOOKAH!!!!")

That had me absolutely in stitches and is, sadly, probably the best bit of line reading Anna Paquin has ever managed.

Also: It's nice to see some vampires who don't consider being made a vampire to be a horrible, tragic, emo curse. While not being over the top evil. I mean... I get to stay young, disease free, super fast, super strong, and glamour-powered FOREVER? And the big downsides are I can't go out in direct sunlight and I have to drink shitty tasting red crap out of a bottle?

Hell, I already don't go out in direct sunlight and drink shitty tasting red crap out of a bottle. SIGN ME UP you big crying emo babies.
posted by Justinian at 11:25 AM on June 27, 2010 [8 favorites]


Sorry to stomp on your collective bunny, but the first several episodes were good. Last Sunday the encounter between Bill and Sam, plus Sam being a daddy shape-shifter, plus Snoop after that - wow, will Eggs come back? Whooh!
posted by nj_subgenius at 11:31 AM on June 27, 2010


...that is, in season ONE.
posted by nj_subgenius at 11:32 AM on June 27, 2010


I was seriously annoyed with the show w/r/t how it dealt with the MaryAnne the Maenad story. I wanted to throw a giant egg at it.
posted by angrycat at 11:41 AM on June 27, 2010


I don't mean to ask for any book-spoilers or anything, but could someone who's read them at least give me a little wink and a nod if there is any reason for me to go on praying that THIS might be the season in which they pleasepleaseplease KILL OFF SOOKIE so that I never have to endure Anna Paquin on my TV screen again? Because [cue Lafayette] I luvs me some True Blood, 'specially that crazy vamper Nazi shit, but I hates me some Sookie. Bitch ain't innerestin' enough to be crazy, and she ain't a good enough actress to make me innerested. [/Lafayette]
posted by scody at 11:56 AM on June 27, 2010


It's nice to see some vampires who don't consider being made a vampire to be a horrible, tragic, emo curse. While not being over the top evil. I mean... I get to stay young, disease free, super fast, super strong, and glamour-powered FOREVER? And the big downsides are I can't go out in direct sunlight and I have to drink shitty tasting red crap out of a bottle?

Oh man, in Season 2, when Lafayette's at the end of his rope and asks to be turned ("Not only will I be a badass vampire... I'll be YOUR badass vampire.") I was literally shouting at Eric on the TV: "YOU IDIOT, THIS IS LIKE THE SINGLE GREATEST HUMAN EVER, YOU'D BE A FUCKING MORON TO IGNORE THIS OPPORTUNITY, YOU JACKASS, YOU JACKASS"
posted by Greg Nog at 12:10 PM on June 27, 2010 [5 favorites]


Vampire Lafayette would be crowned King Of Northern Hemisphere in like a week, tops.
posted by The Whelk at 12:17 PM on June 27, 2010 [8 favorites]


To bring it back to Snoop, here he is in Candyland.
posted by Evilspork at 12:22 PM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm sure this is great and all, but I only watch shows about Canadian vampires. Who are cops. But are also vampires. AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME!
posted by kaibutsu at 12:48 PM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Ha ha ha, YESSSSS

kaibutsu, I spent many a night in junior high and high school staying up to watch that in syndication. To 14-year-old me, Forever Knight was just the most BITCHIN THING EVER.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:57 PM on June 27, 2010


Jessica's got a blog of her very own.

On the upswing, I took some of the advice y'all posted and went to some older vampires for words of wisdom. And now I think I have a new crush! Not a crush-crush, like on a boy, but a friend-crush. Or a big-sister-crush, if you wanna call it that. Pam, over at Fangtasia, is so rad! Now she's a woman, like a real woman. Not like my mama was a woman, but like Madonna's a woman. Or Susan Lucci.
posted by merelyglib at 12:58 PM on June 27, 2010


Of course Jessica Vblogs. OF COURSE SHE DOES.
posted by The Whelk at 1:02 PM on June 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


AHAHA EVEN JESSICA MAKES FUN OF THE WAY BILL SAYS SHOOOOKHEY AHAHA
posted by The Whelk at 1:05 PM on June 27, 2010


I like to think of it according to the measure "How much should I be drinking while I watch this?"

The Wire is a zero-beer show
Planet Earth is a one-beer show
House is a two-beer show
True Blood requires something like five or six beers, but man, it's a fun thing to whoop and holler at.


Heh, I've been having a spectacularly bad week at work, so this Friday I came home and shared a bottle of wine with the husband and had a ridiculously tipsy, fun date night. Unfortunately, I'm a cheap date, and by the time we came home to finally watch the season premiere (which we'd been saving), I was ready to conk out. I fell asleep about halfway into the credits.

Woke up for only one scene--luckily it was the right one. You know, the complete fanservice one. I whooped and hollered.

Then I fell back to sleep.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:25 PM on June 27, 2010


plus Sam being a daddy shape-shifter

I'm pretty sure that's his brother, not his son.
posted by graventy at 2:09 PM on June 27, 2010


S3 is thus far shaping up to be better than S2, especially with Sookie's Bill impression last week ("SOOKAH!!!!").

Sookeh!
posted by homunculus at 2:15 PM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


My view of Eric is permanently colored by my realization that he was one of Zoolander's roommates.
posted by squarehead at 2:20 PM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


it makes me laugh how much the early episodes seem like an explicit response to Bella/Jedward in Twilight.

Didn't it come out before Twilight?
posted by inigo2 at 2:29 PM on June 27, 2010


it makes me laugh how much the early episodes seem like an explicit response to Bella/Jedward in Twilight.

The first season was based pretty directly on the first book in the series (much of the dialog is word-for-word transcribed), which came out four years before the first Twilight novel.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 2:34 PM on June 27, 2010


My view of Eric is permanently colored by my realization that he was one of Zoolander's roommates.

*ahem*
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:37 PM on June 27, 2010 [8 favorites]


My view of Eric is permanently colored by my realization that he was one of Zoolander's roommates.

You might want to focus on this aspect of his film career instead, then. (nsfw or sanity)
posted by elizardbits at 3:17 PM on June 27, 2010 [4 favorites]


Oh.

Oh my.
posted by scody at 3:26 PM on June 27, 2010 [3 favorites]


I say.
posted by The Whelk at 4:32 PM on June 27, 2010


My view of Eric is permanently colored by my realization that he was one of Zoolander's roommates.

No. No No No and also NO. DO NOT WANT! Lalalalalalalalalala...

You might want to focus on this aspect of his film career instead, then. (nsfw or sanity)

I...uh...what scody said.

I'll be in my bunk.

(that said, there's an awful lot of...scrubbing going on...)

Also, no way could they make Lafayette a vampire, the show would be over, he is already the coolest thing going, if he was a vampire as well, the rest might as well just hang up their fangs. I could watch nothing but Lafayette and Tara being bitchy (and Eric), and Hoyt and Jessica being...Hoyt and Jessica (and Eric).

also, more Eric
posted by biscotti at 4:35 PM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


Yes, I very much admire his dedication to cleanliness.

I LIKE CLEANLINESS TOO ASKARZ

I AM JUST SAYING

ILU

posted by elizardbits at 4:57 PM on June 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


Alexander Skarsgård (Eric) was also outstanding in David Simon's (The Wire) Killing Fields
posted by Mick at 6:10 PM on June 27, 2010


I think you mean Generation Kill, right? I noticed that he was in that when I checked his IMDB page and remembered a friend recommending it.
posted by squarehead at 6:26 PM on June 27, 2010


He's only my second favorite Skarsgård, though.
posted by fleacircus at 6:56 PM on June 27, 2010


I second the recommendation for Generation Kill. It's excellent.
posted by homunculus at 7:12 PM on June 27, 2010


The last 30 seconds of tonight's True Blood was some seriously fucked up shit. Which I love.
posted by Justinian at 8:55 PM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


OMGWTFBBQ
posted by Night_owl at 9:19 PM on June 27, 2010


That dashing Bill Compton, he really turns heads when he walks into a room.
posted by homunculus at 9:54 PM on June 27, 2010 [2 favorites]


OH.

OH MY!
posted by scody at 9:56 PM on June 27, 2010


The last 30 seconds of tonight's True Blood was some seriously fucked up shit.

Unfortunately, all I could think of during the last few seconds was Anakin Vader's NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! from the end of Episode 3: Return of the Excrescence.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:30 PM on June 27, 2010


That dashing Bill Compton, he really turns heads when he walks into a room.

I was mostly thinking that his maker is really sort of twisted.
posted by Justinian at 10:48 PM on June 27, 2010


The first season was based pretty directly on the first book in the series (much of the dialog is word-for-word transcribed), which came out four years before the first Twilight novel.

If it's all just a coincidence, that makes me even happier. Hurrah!
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 12:11 AM on June 28, 2010


Nthing Generation Kill, the (platonic! friendly!) relationship of Skarsgård/Brad with Ray Person is pretty much one of the sweetest things ever. (Such Old Marrieds, these 20ish year old marines are).
posted by The Whelk at 12:19 AM on June 28, 2010


I was mostly thinking that his maker is really sort of twisted.

Saying Lorena is sort of twisted is like saying holding the G20 in the middle of a major city was kind of a bad idea.
posted by The Whelk at 12:28 AM on June 28, 2010


Forever Knight was just the most BITCHIN THING EVER.

With the worst series finale EVER (when I watched it I didn't even know the show was ending.)
posted by Tenuki at 3:52 AM on June 28, 2010


Snoop Dogg was in a show called "I get that alot" on CBS last night. He was really funny as a parking lot attendant who gets mistaken for Snoop Dogg a lot. He's a pretty special guy, although I'm not sure I blame the English gov't for not allowing him to enter the country, because the people he's travelled with did some really stupid stuff at Heathrow a few years back.
posted by Jagz-Mario at 9:15 AM on June 28, 2010


but not Deadwood-level

Ian McShane would be a fucking natural for True Blood. All respect to that slinky cocksucker Skarsgård, but, goddamn, would Al make a fucking prodigious "sheriff". The scenery chewing would slight even the prodigious appetites of a celestial's pigs and leave nothing but a stunned lucidity in it's wake.

Plus the interactions with that cocksucker Andy could be hilarious.
posted by bonehead at 9:26 AM on June 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


Y'all cover why I say that, should I be afflicted with a post-mortality condition, I would want to be a zombie.

No whining about all the loves that have passed away.
No guilt about my predator status over humanity.
No worries about how to keep things hot and heavy over the centuries.
No fears about millennial politics.
No flop sweat about what to wear to the latest sanguine soirée.
No angst about violating laws arbitrarily assigned by those dead longer than I.

Just...

"Brains? Brains brains. Brains, brains brains."

So delightfully primal.

(So, the rotting sucks, but you can't have it all. Better maggot fodder than emo to me.)
posted by Samizdata at 11:09 AM on June 28, 2010


Ian McShane would be a fucking natural for True Blood. All respect to that slinky cocksucker Skarsgård, but, goddamn, would Al make a fucking prodigious "sheriff". The scenery chewing would slight even the prodigious appetites of a celestial's pigs and leave nothing but a stunned lucidity in it's wake.

Yes, but only on the condition that Ian McShane is actually playing Vampire Al Swearengen. The Deadwood ending no one ever expected!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:26 PM on June 28, 2010 [4 favorites]


you know, i have nothing against the depiction of a hatefuck, and what happened during the hatefuck was so, um, fucked up, that I am overall gleeful about it, but it was nightmare inducing and I am feeling some feminist guilt about enjoying it as much as I did.
posted by angrycat at 4:47 PM on June 28, 2010


It does bring up the question of vampire BDSM- when you can set somebody on fire and break their neck without more than momentarily inconveniencing them, what sort of activities start to seem daring?
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:59 PM on June 28, 2010


what sort of activities start to seem daring?


Isn't that why most most inter-vampire politics/struggles/sex games/power plays are more baroque and mental?
posted by The Whelk at 5:06 PM on June 28, 2010


Vampire Al Swearengen

This must happen. Let's get a motherfucking petition together.
posted by biscotti at 10:38 AM on June 29, 2010


Question: what the hay does the http://babyvamp-jessica.com/ page use to play its vlogs? All I get is a white square, without the joy of more Jessica (love her).
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:31 PM on July 3, 2010


Also, this show and my budding obsession with Alexander Skarsgard has lead me to the revelation that I can't listen to Swedish being spoken without cracking up.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:44 PM on July 3, 2010


Okay ...what was that?

Two things.

PAM! NO!

and I while I am tired of Tara Gets Brutalized Again, I think they're doing some odd mirror of Sookie and Bill's relationship with Tara and Franklin. They start the same, it's the same kinda idea, but it's EVIL and FUCKED-UP instead of Romantic And Tru Wuv.

And he dropped a "Magical" ....which given the hints we've seen about the Stackhouse family line, means maybe there was a reason Tara and Jason hit it off.

That's what I'm thinking anyway.

Oh gods in heaven I never thought I say this but Jason Stackhouse? You. Are. Boring. Me. I mean I expect Sam to bore me because he is boring but I just wish those plotlines would dry up and blow away to make room for Jessica The Perky Waitress.
posted by The Whelk at 8:01 PM on July 11, 2010


also, that postmortem bit? Is the FBI going to go after vampirs under RICO laws? If so , awesome.
posted by The Whelk at 8:02 PM on July 11, 2010


Also, also...

I like Evil Bill. I like Evil Bill waaay more then shoookhey Bill. Lorena is so fucked up that having someone punch her across the room is pillow-talk.

Man, I wish I'm half as cool as the King when I'm that age. And I by that age I mean nine hundred and eighty five (...at least he never stole spoons.)

Jessica? I knew that had to come up eventually. I hope it goes someplace (like can her family still claim she's a minor and belongs to them even if she's gonna be a minor forever? That serving alcohol line would suggest that. Is turning someone into a vampire a crime? )

Is Yvette gonna do anything? Why does she have a name and lines? Is she a spy? I hope she's a spy.

Man the Magistrate is bad-ass. his walking cane has like two of the deadliest things you have have on you right near him at all time. It's like Superman carrying around a spring-loaded Kryptonite bomb under his testicles at all times. Also? First time we've seen a stake. "Proper Death" indeed.
posted by The Whelk at 8:12 PM on July 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


Also, Alcide thank you for making shirtless men with scary bodies dull. Oy, Werewolves that are not Nazis are boring. His sister, now she had something going on. Looked like she rolled around in a box of hair extensions and glitter glue.

Skank!Sookie? Kinda looked like an alternate universe Liza Minnelli.
posted by The Whelk at 8:21 PM on July 11, 2010


Just so you know, you should keep posting b/c I'm reading it.
Don't have much to add right now. To be honest, I don't know how much I've loved this season so far, but that may be because I keep having to do other stuff while I watch. Having read all the books except the most recent, I keep wondering how some of that stuff will tie in. There's been some foreshadowing that some of the book stuff will happen this season, but I'm curious how far it goes...
posted by inigo2 at 8:07 PM on July 12, 2010


Also, Alcide has actually reasonably matched up against how I pictured him in the books, for better of for worse. He's _supposed_ to be somewhat boring, and a bit emotional about his ex.
posted by inigo2 at 8:08 PM on July 12, 2010


I'm more ugh he's a BAD actor. I'm not getting anything but his hair. Even his nipples are phoning it in.
posted by The Whelk at 8:16 PM on July 12, 2010




I was describing the Franklin/Tara fucked upness and My Theory and she said "Wait, so True Blood is like an answer to Twilight?" And I hadn't thought about that but the sudden appearance of someone who WANTS TO KEEP YOU SAFE by TRAPPING YOU IN A MOTEL ROOM is ...uh...kinda direct.
posted by The Whelk at 5:03 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]


also



HER: SO wait, is Bill Angel is something?

ME: Kinda. It's the same idea, but Angel was *cursed* to feel regret and remorse. Bill just kinda does, when everyone other vamp we see (save Godric) is just okay with eating people according to various levels of Being Okay With It - and he's not good about keeping to his word and there is an implication he wasn't ..forthright in WHY she started a relationship with Sookie.

HER: SO it's kinda like saying that he's playing out a High Romantic Story as a way a totally manipulating a naive and inexperienced girl?

ME: Kinda.

HER: Yeah this is totally a riff on Gothic Romantic.

ME: Huh.
posted by The Whelk at 5:06 PM on July 14, 2010


After Eric roughs that guy up, is that the first four notes to "Vampire Killer" he whistles?"

I say yes. Those are the exact notes, it's a show that loves fanservice more than anime, and we've seen Bill playing Wii, which means there's something going on between HBO and Nintendo, and the song "Vampire Killer" is from a Nintendo game...
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:34 PM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]


I agree yes, and OMG THAT BROUGHT BACK AWESOME MEMORIES AND NOW I'M GOING SPEND THE NIGHT PLAYING CASTLEVANIA AND GET FIRED TOMORROW AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!
posted by inigo2 at 6:23 PM on July 15, 2010


RE: This week's episode.

OMG OMG OMG I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID THIS IS AWESOME

MOTHERFUCKING PAYOFF (watch how fast I type motherfucker!)

Okay lets start with things I didn;t like. Adlice and that ...story I just don't buy it. Mostly cause Aldice acts like a very defined Ken doll. A set of abs with arms attached. I'm just not feeling it.

Sam's plitline got a lot more interesting, but I still fundamentally don't care. But it was helped by the dominate theme of this episode .....

..STORYLINE CONSOLIDATION.

Everyting smashed into each other in a wonderful, wonderful way. Yes, Tara and Franklin are TOTALLy Edward and Bella but done realistically, as in I TIED YOU UP TO KEEP YOU SAFE! Oh god, could I love this storyline more? "I can't eat Day Lillies!" No I cannot.

OMG Talbot and the king have a PORTRAIT of themselves. That door finally got used! I WAS TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT THE FAMILY-LINE THING. AH!

Countdown to Jesus being Evil Starts now. Also Crystal, what is she? I'm going with Nature Spirit or Elf or something. Also "Where's your badge?" heh.

And Jessica. GO JESSICA. OMG.

Eric! Is! A! King! Rebel Viking Eric From The Sagas!

I enjoyed this episode, is what I am saying.
posted by The Whelk at 7:14 PM on July 18, 2010


Also, I cannot tell you how much I enjoy the Werewolf slurs for vampires "Deadman" "Bat Boy" he he he
posted by The Whelk at 8:35 PM on July 18, 2010


The Whelk: agreeed. I liked this episode, but the pacing was a bit off, I think.

Agreed on Alcide being a Ken-doll, but I am sooo much more into Sookie than I was last week or last season. She's got an attitude now!

Hilariously on-the-nose soundtracks follow Jason around.

I'm going to have to re-watch this episode for clarity's sake. When did we first see Crystal? I can't remember her, even though they showed a flashback of the first time Jason saw her. Was she at the drug-bust Jason barged in on?

Eric's got some real good reasons to try to off a certain vampire king now, but we knew there'd have to be a high vampire deathcount at the end of this season anyways, so that ain't new.

I love how a climatic fight scene is quickly resolves by a swift kick to the nuts. Since I've been watching The Good German (or: Watching Clooney Lose Fights, often by being kicked in the nuts) it was just hilarious to me. From Nazis and Russians to Nazi Werewolves.

Have they explained how long werewolves live yet, or how people become weres yet? I honestly cannot remember, except that maybe weres are slightly longer-lived?

Seeing as I'm the only person who really likes the Queen (I felt the performance was just the right level of over-the-top campy), I take every episode without her or Pam as a slight against me personally.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 11:35 PM on July 18, 2010


Crystal was that random chick in the woods that Jason saw at the drug bust, just before he tacked the meth dealer.

And I think weres live shorter than humans- not because they're short-lived, just because a short lifespan is an inevitable consequence of a lifestyle that regularly involves drinking and fucking to excess and lots of violence.
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:12 AM on July 19, 2010


Thanks, Pope Guilty!

One thing I loved and forgot to mention: Mott's backstory as a crazy gambler who is under the 'guardianship' of the King. Quote of the night was about the slots at Biloxi. Of course, dahlin', that's a great reason for murder! In fact, Franklin Mott was hilarious tonight, even when riffing off of Twilight.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 12:40 AM on July 19, 2010


Also Crystal, what is she?

She's a werepanther in the books. IDK what that means for the show, especially since we are now rather awesomely far off the canon reservation.
posted by elizardbits at 3:41 AM on July 19, 2010


Mott is indeed hilarious - although I have to say the reason why I liked this episode was the relative lack of Shookie. And Bill being like super-coy "THOSE papers? Why they cannot POSSIBLY be mine!" Hehe. Again, I like Evil Bill.

Sookie! Is! Magic! And it makes the King cackle like a republic serial villain - oh man between that and his dark cloak of doom he's like Emperor Palpatine with fashion sense and the ability to think again.

Werepanther? Dang. I'm still over werewolves that are not Coot getting all pent-up sex and crazy. I was hoping some kind of nature spirit, like a Dryad.

"I'm a normal girl, I just love trees. Literally. Physically. Also I can be injured through them. Plus sometimes I go into a heat and blossom. No literally. I can also hear the Green Thoughts, but aside from that I'm totally fine! Oh wait I've been here too long, can you cut these roots? Thanks."
posted by The Whelk at 6:53 AM on July 19, 2010


From Jacob's recaplet

"Sam gives little brother Tommy a job and a place to stay, while their dad does more of that creepy violent sexual shit the dad always does with Tommy. It's getting super dark, like to the point where whatever is really going on cannot possibly be as bad as all the things the show wants you to think is going on. What is the mysterious secret? I just hope Sam gets through this one without going crazier than Tara."

Okay now I'm thinking of about a thousand insanely fucked up things that could be going on between them and I need to stop.
posted by The Whelk at 7:03 AM on July 19, 2010


Hadouken!
posted by homunculus at 11:58 AM on July 19, 2010


Who's this Jacob?
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:09 PM on July 19, 2010


ahem Pope Guilty
posted by The Whelk at 12:11 PM on July 19, 2010


A recapper on the site Television Without Pity. It's a shame I know this because I haven't been to TWoP in years.
posted by nooneyouknow at 12:12 PM on July 19, 2010


Oh, I've never been to TWoP. I guess I should start.

Somebody on SA was pointing out that Franklin is basically parodying Edward Cullen.
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:26 PM on July 19, 2010


right down to the food and the reversal of the "turning her" thing.

it is delicious.
posted by The Whelk at 12:29 PM on July 19, 2010


Somebody on SA was pointing out that Franklin is basically parodying Edward Cullen.

Okay, can someone fill me in on the broad strokes of the whole Twilight parody going on? I have instinctively recoiled from it so strongly that literally the entirety of my Twilight knowledge consists of the following: 1) vampires sparkle; 2) one vampire is played by a James Dean wannabe who I would like to strangle with my bare hands; 3) his love interest is played by a charming young lady who appeared to hawk a loogie over her shoulder during the Oscars.
posted by scody at 12:53 PM on July 19, 2010 [1 favorite]


The biggest thing that I and a lot of people hate about Twilight is that the romance between Edward Cullen and Bella Swan is supposed to be this grand, romantic thing, but it's really an abusing, controlling nightmare. Edward pulls shit like disabling Bella's car so she can't go see his romantic rival, he tells her what to do and what not to do all the time, he threatens and emotionally manipulates her, and worse. He wants to turn her into a vampire so they can be together forever because he's written by a Mormon who believes that there's one person for every person as decreed by god. Bella loves this treatment and loves him for it.

Now, have a look at Franklin and Tara- he ties her the fuck up "for your safety" (which is exactly the justification Edward uses), he kidnaps her, he screams at her for running away from him, and now he wants to turn her into a vampire so that she can be his forever. Tara is responding in a much healthier and more reasonable way than Bella.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:05 PM on July 19, 2010


Also Robert Pattinson hates Twilight and has been very clear that he had no idea what he was getting into; he's been known to chop off his hair and go for days without bathing in order to keep the fangirls away from him, and he's publicly talked about how bad the books are and how sad Stephanie Meyer is.

I actually kind of like the guy.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:07 PM on July 19, 2010


Oh, I'd forgotten about last night's choking Tara nearly to the point of suffocation out of jealousy. Crazy abusive Edward Cullen motherfucker.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:37 PM on July 19, 2010


the romance between Edward Cullen and Bella Swan is supposed to be this grand, romantic thing, but it's really an abusing, controlling nightmare.

Yikes. This makes the middle-aged women camped out on Hollywood Blvd. with their daughters whilst wearing "EDWARD MAKES ME OVULATE" t-shirts (in anticipation of the movie's opening) even more alarming than I had imagined.
posted by scody at 2:00 PM on July 19, 2010


He wants to turn her into a vampire so they can be together forever because he's written by a Mormon who believes that there's one person for every person as decreed by god.

Actually, he doesn't want to turn her initially, he wants her to leave him, for WOE! HE IS A SPARKLY MONSTER UNDESERVING OF HER GENTLE HUMAN LOOOOOVE! This is the one aspect of their relationship in which she actually gets her way. He wants to marry her so they can have sex, but she wants to have sex first, but he won't have sex with her because his mighty vampire sparklepeen will crush her tiny human vajayjay, so she tells him to turn her into a vampire so they can have the sex already, but he won't do it until they're married and then my head exploded and I set things on fire with the power of my mind.
posted by elizardbits at 3:09 PM on July 19, 2010 [5 favorites]


Actually, he doesn't want to turn her initially, he wants her to leave him, for WOE! HE IS A SPARKLY MONSTER UNDESERVING OF HER GENTLE HUMAN LOOOOOVE!

Actually, he thinks he has no soul, and doesn't want her to lose hers.

Later you find out that he also thinks their banging before marriage will destroy her soul, too. Apparently, Bella's soul is really fragile and SPECIAL.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 3:42 PM on July 19, 2010


Later you find out that he also thinks their banging before marriage will destroy her soul

I think maybe he misunderstood the potential location of her soul, then.

WHAT ABOUT MY FRAGILE SOUL, TWILIGHT. WHAT ABOUT THE EXISTENTIAL DARKNESS YOUR SAD STALKER-ENABLING BULLSHIT IS CAUSING ME I ASK YOU.
posted by elizardbits at 3:55 PM on July 19, 2010 [4 favorites]


Can we start the I LOVE JESSICA club, cause, seriously, she rules.
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 PM on July 19, 2010 [1 favorite]




Thought: Franklin and Tara are kind of like Drusilla and Spike in their total craziness and potential codependency. DISCUSS.
posted by elizardbits at 4:56 PM on July 20, 2010


Franklin is like with Spike and Dru HAD A BABY.
posted by The Whelk at 5:03 PM on July 20, 2010


if, not with.

What is wrong with me?
posted by The Whelk at 5:11 PM on July 20, 2010


(I actually had a conversation about the "Is Bill Angel?" thing and no , no he's not, cause we have no implication that people lose their soul or whatever when they get vamped, they're still the same person, and they just get used to eating people. It's like a curse where they're forced to feel regret, Bill just *does*, cause he's young and stuff, and he's not above right out murdering people - also, his motives in getting Sookie to fall TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM are really, really, really suspect. We know Vampire blood is addicting, and we know vampires cry tears ....so regular doses of ...uh blood..from other sources...just sayin. I think we can read Sookie as a high-functioning drug addict and .....love is the drug that she needs to score. Literally.)
posted by The Whelk at 5:14 PM on July 20, 2010


not like a curse* argh
posted by The Whelk at 5:14 PM on July 20, 2010


This is especially amusing as Russel Edgington's style of dress kind of reminds me of Bryan Ferry's.

Bill is definitely not Angel-esque at all, not that I can see. There's no message of redemption in any of his behavior; even his decision to mainstream was probably more related to getting the hell away from Lorena than it was to any kind of empathy for his victims.
posted by elizardbits at 5:21 PM on July 20, 2010


Well there is Bill Really Wants To Go Mainstream, down his total mishandling of Jessica, but the recent stuff puts a new light on AL of that. Bill is a Nice Vampire who may or may not have got Sookie addicted to him to fulfill Sophie Anne's plans. Now he's SA's subject and can say he was...ahem..following orders, but still.

Which makes him waaaay more interesting. I think Bill holds onto his Gentlemanly Manners as a way of trying to stay human, if he's not careful that's all he'll be, a lot of courtly actions and bloodlust. Right now, he's on the edge of it.
posted by The Whelk at 5:27 PM on July 20, 2010


and YES, so much of his trying to be mainstream and human can be seen as him trying to get under Lorena's skirt. Had he another maker, one less CRAY CRAY, he would have been so different.
posted by The Whelk at 5:28 PM on July 20, 2010


also I am implying that Bill shoots a highly addicting mind-altering chemical from his dick during sex and this is what Sookie is *on* and man isn't that beautiful metaphor for FIRST LOVE and it's been like 3 months show time since season one. Sookie is On. Drugs.
posted by The Whelk at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2010


Ew wait, if vampire tears are bloody, does that mean vampire manpaste is too?

I AM DISTRESSED.
posted by elizardbits at 5:43 PM on July 20, 2010


THAT IS MY DISTURBING IMPLICATION
posted by The Whelk at 5:55 PM on July 20, 2010


BILL DOES NOT CUM BLOOD NO
posted by angrycat at 8:59 PM on July 20, 2010


Quick, before our pumpkin (thread) turns to dust (closes) in six days: Odds on who will die by the end of the season?

My list of who's going to bite it (pun intended):
-At least 1 Mickens, probably Daddy-o
-The Magister, at Russell's hands or by his orders, probably followed by Russell's death (in the finale)
-Alas, I do not think Talbot is long for this world
-Decent chance of Sophie-Anne dying as well
-Debbie is going to die; Alcide will survive

Pam's going to survive, along with Bill, Eric, and most of the Bon Temps cast.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 7:08 PM on July 21, 2010


Only six more days? Quick, somebody find something True Blood-related to post about and sit on it till Tuesday!
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:12 PM on July 21, 2010


Odds on who will die by the end of the season?

Sophie-Anne and the Magister, and good riddance to both of them. I hope they don't get rid of Russell so soon; save him for another season.

I'm still waiting to see Felix the armadillo, who will hopefully turn out to be a were-armadillo.
posted by homunculus at 8:08 PM on July 21, 2010 [1 favorite]


Talbot had better not die before he gets some kind of scene with Lafayette.

My internets money is on Sophie-Anne and the Magister as well. But Debbie Pelt is loathsome enough to live a long, long time, I think.

My ultimate goal is for there to be an continuous series of open True Blood-related posts until the end of the season, actually.
posted by elizardbits at 5:35 PM on July 22, 2010


Same goes for Lorena then.

Lorena that I need to make sweet, sweet chainsaw love to...
posted by Samizdata at 8:28 AM on July 25, 2010


Normally I'd be all for Lorena to make a date with a dull chainsaw, but I'm worried she'd enjoy it too much.
posted by The Whelk at 9:52 AM on July 25, 2010




Ian McShane would be a fucking natural for True Blood. All respect to that slinky cocksucker Skarsgård, but, goddamn, would Al make a fucking prodigious "sheriff".

And David Suchet would make an excellent vampire magister.
posted by homunculus at 5:53 PM on July 25, 2010


anyone know a place in San Diego showing this week's episode? I feel like watching it in a vast nerd horde.
posted by The Whelk at 6:30 PM on July 25, 2010


just turned it on....
posted by Night_owl at 6:37 PM on July 25, 2010


holy hell Tara. You rock.

Also, poor Lafayette.
posted by Night_owl at 7:45 PM on July 25, 2010


That neck thing was... most unsettling.
posted by elizardbits at 7:58 PM on July 25, 2010


Maybe we should move the discussion to Metachat once this thread closes?
posted by flibbertigibbet at 8:45 PM on July 25, 2010


I'd wager money that Franklin's fine. You're not going to kill a vampire that easily.

Also I loved Russell's Dorothy Parker reference. That was shiny.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:09 PM on July 25, 2010


Mhm. He didn't explode into a ball of blood--which, as this very episode reminded us, is the way vampires go when they get staked--so he's alive. I predict next episode will briefly feature some gruesome makeup as he heals.

Eric's not-so-subtle seduction techniques are hilarious.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 12:08 AM on July 26, 2010


Maybe we should move the discussion to Metachat once this thread closes?

Wherever it goes, please leave a link here.

It's interesting how some scenes in the show are very close to the book, and others are nothing like it.
posted by inigo2 at 8:17 AM on July 26, 2010




I'm digging Eric and Tara's comic overacting to get what they want. Eric is being about as subtle as a morningstar to the head. I thought I was a sound sleeper. Note, Frederick almost looks cute in those shiny shiny pajama pants but Tara is now like the best person ever so lets just enjoy that.

Talbot's main worry? RUINING THE HOUSE. Notice when The King comes back from his Husbandly duties he's zipping up his fly? I had a brief and disturbing image there.

Jessica? Still awesome. "I take garlic supplements!" Could I love this storyline more?

Sophie-Anne and her lotto cards, just a great way to describe her particular brand of brain damage.

Is there a writer's note that says "Bill always sounds like a 14-year old trying to write a romance novel?" Cause he does. Which is fine, it works. Not as much as Eeeeevil Bill works. ALthough for the first time this season I am enjoying Sookie. "That's two questions" aaaah.

Oh Cooter, everything about you is stupid and wrong. Go die in a fire.

Still do not care about Jason or Crystal or whatever the hell is going on there. Although Stripped Polo Shirts really should be visual shorthand for douchebrah, no?

Vampires run Wall Street! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
posted by The Whelk at 9:41 AM on July 26, 2010


BUT WHAT ABOUT LAFAYETTE GODDAMMIT. I am all sadface over him and Jesus.
posted by elizardbits at 10:10 AM on July 26, 2010


I was wondering why they did that to poor Lafayette? Aside from putting in a nice dark place he can go and turn evil or something.
posted by The Whelk at 10:21 AM on July 26, 2010


Creepy full-length trailer for Let Me In delivers a quick-and-dirty jolt of fear

This is the remake of the Swedish movie "Let The Right One In", right? If so, I definitely recommend seeing that (and definitely the subtitled version; apparently the dubbed version dumbs it down a bit).

I thought I was a sound sleeper.

Is this about Franklin? Regardless -- yes, Vampires are supposed to be very heavy sleepers, very difficult to wake up during daylight hours. That's emphasized in the books in a few parts; can't remember if it's ever really emphasized in the show.
posted by inigo2 at 12:22 PM on July 26, 2010


can't remember if it's ever really emphasized in the show.

It was, last season, I think? When Lorena is holding Bill in that hotel room in Dallas(?) while Sookie is off being in danger as usual, they were struggling to stay awake and ended up bleeding from the ears and eyes. And then Lorena passed out and Bill smashed her in the head with the flat screen tv.

This makes me wonder why the same thing didn't happen in last night's episode, in the slave quarters torture chamber. It was broad daylight when Debbie and Cooter came bursting in, and Lorena was still wide awake.
posted by elizardbits at 12:43 PM on July 26, 2010


I am wondering why Jessica drank from that customer. There's True Bloods around, right?
posted by angrycat at 1:05 PM on July 26, 2010


Yeah, that also made no fucking sense at all. Maybe she's just a picky eater?
posted by elizardbits at 1:08 PM on July 26, 2010


I think it's been established that she finds True Blood absolutely vile, and she's clearly figured out how to drink discreetly. Perhaps not discreetly enough...
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:31 PM on July 26, 2010


I mean, feeding on her right there at her workplace? That was stupid. Have her drive out and then down a side road and stop, run out there with vampire speed (can we just call it Celerity already?) and do it there.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:32 PM on July 26, 2010


It seems like Lorena is gonna have to die pretty soon. Sorta seems like there's nowhere else to go for her character.
posted by angrycat at 2:41 PM on July 26, 2010


****BOOK SPOILERS, POTENTIAL SHOW SPOILER****

uh, if anyone still cares about spoiler prevention at this point.

















The scene in the book where Sookie rescues Bill from Edgington's torture room is the same scene where Lorena dies at Sookie's hand. The previews for next week do not seem to suggest that they will be following book canon, though, so idk.
posted by elizardbits at 3:17 PM on July 26, 2010


Jessica did what she did because

1) She has well-established impulse control problems, even more so when she's hungry.

2) She hates True Blood with a passion and all they have in is B- or something and the microwave is broke.

3) She really wanted to try out the whole "Not Killing During Eating" thing Pam taught her.
posted by The Whelk at 5:04 PM on July 26, 2010


The previews for next week do not seem to suggest that they will be following book canon, though, so idk.

......MORE SEMI-REMEMBERED BOOK SPOILERS BELOW......





I thought the previews did suggest they'll (at least roughly) follow what happened. Didn't Sookie end up in the trunk with an unconscious Bill after killing Lorena and rescuing him? And then he comes too and nearly kills her by feeding on her? I think the scene of Sookie in the hospital is foreshadowing that (even though they want you to think Lorena is the one to put her in the hospital).



...END OF POSSIBLE BOOK SPOILERS...
posted by inigo2 at 5:21 PM on July 26, 2010


CONTINUING OUR POSSIBLE SPOLIER-Y THEME

Didn't Sookie end up in the trunk with an unconscious Bill after killing Lorena and rescuing him? And then he comes too and nearly kills her by feeding on her?


I don't remember that (those books just vanished form my head the instant I read them, long story - Montreal Guest house and everything) but based on what we've seen in the previews, it looks very possible. My theory - That happens, Bill nearly kills Sookie, Bill gets all hoped on her MAGICAL BLOOD and ends up being temporarily human or half-human or something (we see him in the sunlight not burning in the previews) and Sookie is Even More Magical and Lorena gets blood-balled out of existence.
posted by The Whelk at 5:35 PM on July 26, 2010


Yeah, that scene definitely happens in the books, I just can't remember if it was during this adventure or another one. I have a similar problem with the books vanishing from my head, or at least combining into a single confusing book.
posted by inigo2 at 5:45 PM on July 26, 2010


Yeah, Debbie Pelt pushes Sookie into the trunk with Bill, Bill awakens, rapes Sookie, almost drains her, and then sort of comes back to himself, punches a hole in the trunk so she can breathe, &c. But... I don't think she goes to the hospital? IDK, that was pretty much my only basis for "previews did not seem canony".

Admittedly it will only take about 20 minutes to read the entire book. BRB.
posted by elizardbits at 6:17 PM on July 26, 2010


(She doesn't actually go to the hospital, Eric finds them and brings them up to Alcide's apartment.)

Either way, not much upon which to base assumptions. IS IT SUNDAY YET?
posted by elizardbits at 6:22 PM on July 26, 2010


Sort of a tangent, but it's interesting to watch the show having read the books. They keep just enough that I'm constantly saying "oh I remember that", but then change just enough that I never really know what's going to happen. I like the balance they've got.
posted by inigo2 at 6:31 PM on July 26, 2010


OK, as soon as my registration over at Metachat is approved I'll be posting a discussion post o'er there, so watch that space.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 6:52 PM on July 26, 2010


Go forth and blather.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 8:10 PM on July 26, 2010


I'm just gonna talk about people's clothes you know

(Seriously, Eric in wholesome Gap-Drag is freaking me out. It's so wrong.)
posted by The Whelk at 8:19 PM on July 26, 2010




Whatevs, you know you longed to cuddle his manly massiveness in that baby blue sweater. DO NOT LIE.
posted by elizardbits at 3:44 AM on July 27, 2010 [1 favorite]


« Older "A book is not born, but rather becomes, a...   |   Fired For Fornication Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments



Post