I think goal orientation is absolutely disastrous in life. Two things happen: one — you don't meet your goals, you call yourself a failure. Secondly — you meet your goal, you go: "Well, I'm here, and now what? I'm not happy. I've got this car, this job, I'm living in this address, which I thought the place I wanted to be, and... what?" Because you're going for something outside yourself, and that's no good.This is a fine reason to avoid setting your goals for things outside of yourself. Instead, set them for things inside of yourself: feel content with my living conditions; become skilled at that thing I like doing. And those will imply metrics, ways of telling how close you are to what you want, and then you have something that looks a lot like the kind of goal Stephen objects to: move to that place I like; impress that person who is good at that thing I like doing.
and American television is filled with people /sitting in chairs on it's sort of afternoon talk-shows / going "I need"-whining, whining about their lives. /"I'm beautiful, I'm lovely and yet nobody... You know, I'm special, I have needs..." /Oh! Shut up, stop whining.Complaining about listening to people with problems, apparently he would prefer they all shut up and let him enjoy his charmed life, or whatever.
I suppose the thing I’d most would have like to have known or be reassured about is that in the world is what counts more than talent, what counts more than energy or concentration or commitment or anything else is kindness. And the more in the world you encounter kindness, and cheerfulness (which is kind of its amiable uncle or aunt), just the better the world always is – and all the big words: virtue, justice, truth, are dwarfed by the greatness of kindness.Hear, hear.
But then he revealed that he's gay. That gave me pause, and brought me back to attention. Being gay gives him cred.Really? Being gay gives him the cred to crap on 'unsuccessful' people? People who "talk about themselves" rather then being like:
Who, who'd you feel more sorryful, who you actually want to hug? /The person you happen to know /has a tumor and he just getting through life /not talking about it, smiling, trying not to embarrass anybody about it, /or that kind of person "I have a leg that hurt, that one.. /and I have this pain here, and doctors don't know what to do about it, and I get these flashes.." /Oh, Christ, I'm sure it's terrible for you, dear, but shut up!Yeah, STFU you cancer ridden broken leg sufferers. I'm trying to enjoy life!
Geez, noahhs, delmoi – have you guys really never heard of or seen Stephen Fry? Probably a good idea to find out who he is before seeing this, I guess.When did I say I'd never heard of him?
This is a common enough impulse; bully for you in admitting to it. I felt that way many years ago, until I worked with many people who were high achievers. From that I learned that suffering is universalThose people don't know what suffering is. Fry asks how we can know our country without knowing any others. I would ask how can the rich and 'successful' know the pain of the 'common people' without, well, you know.
Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies — "God damn it, you've got to be kind."- Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater
But that's his whole point – nobody is; nobody's forced to do anything. Once we're adults, we can do anything we want. We don't have to go to the Grand Canyon or read Shakespeare or play dodgeball with anybody. And the fact that we're still stuck in critical modes based on childhood slights is silly.No, you've missed the point. The point is that being forced to do something makes doing it less enjoyable in the future, because it dredges up all the old memories. If you were force marched through the grand canyon as a kid, you probably wouldn't enjoy it as an adult. Fry thinks that's a sign of weakness, and a form of dishonesty.
Yes because being 'rich and successful' buys you immunity from suffering right?I never said that, but the tragedies that strike the successful are things that we all need to deal with, whereas the average person, or poor people have a whole host of other problems they need to deal with.
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There's that bit in Catcher where Holden differentiates between writers who're just great writers (who you can worship as such), and those you'd actually want to call up and hang out with. SF is definitely of the latter kind for me, and mostly, sadly, that list is comprised almost entirely of writers thought of as "funny". But it's really not about the funny, you know? Funny is almost reductive, when applied to them.
Thanks for the link. :)
posted by mondaygreens at 3:36 PM on July 3, 2010 [8 favorites]