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TV Hat™
July 4, 2010 8:01 AM   Subscribe

A movie theater experience absolutely anywhere! Take it on a long commute, on the plane, or even on a camping trip.
posted by gman (84 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
Nope, I just checked, it's July 4, not April 1. That thing is so bizarre I almost want one.
posted by TDavis at 8:06 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


It almost looks like the guy on the long commute is driving. I could imagine getting robbed blind while you are totally unaware in your little tv hat.
posted by djduckie at 8:08 AM on July 4, 2010


Just add this and you have dinner and a movie!
posted by hanoixan at 8:09 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Nothing says stilish like a feed bag for your eyes.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:11 AM on July 4, 2010 [21 favorites]


And nothing says funny like typos!
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:11 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


trytvhat.com pornonanairplane.com
posted by machaus at 8:14 AM on July 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


Yes, at first it seems ridiculous, but as Jerry said to Kramer regarding his oil tanker bladder idea - "Actually, that is not a bad idea."
posted by davebush at 8:16 AM on July 4, 2010


The perfect July 4th American product. Is it real? Is it a spoof? Who can tell? God Bless America.

Do not taunt TV Hat.
posted by Nelson at 8:17 AM on July 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


Combine this with a beer hat and then put it on someone riding a Segway, and the resulting appearance might be so foolish that it would create a kind of black hole, so dense that no coolness can escape from it.
posted by FishBike at 8:18 AM on July 4, 2010 [7 favorites]


Nothing says party pooper like spelling police.
posted by wsg at 8:19 AM on July 4, 2010


But can I wear it at the beach?
posted by ColdChef at 8:19 AM on July 4, 2010


Combine this with a beer hat and then put it on someone riding a Segway, and the resulting appearance might be so foolish that it would create a kind of black hole, so dense that no coolness can escape from it.

Near by hipsters will find their skinny jeans inflated, their hare normal, their stupid sun glasses gone. Their PBR will still be PBR though, because, well, uncool people and hipsters have the same taste there.

This was alot funnier in my head.
posted by djduckie at 8:20 AM on July 4, 2010


Hipsters are into strange rabbits?
posted by davebush at 8:22 AM on July 4, 2010 [6 favorites]


New evidence for the Krohn's Corollary of Poe's Law.
posted by elgilito at 8:22 AM on July 4, 2010


Would look better with a smiley face, rather than just two eyes.
posted by MuffinMan at 8:23 AM on July 4, 2010


I'm ordering this, alongside the back up bedside gun rack.
posted by Omon Ra at 8:25 AM on July 4, 2010


Also known as mug-me-on-the-subway-hat.
posted by Splunge at 8:25 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is this something I'd have to own a TV Hat to understand?

Wait...look, I'll come in again.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 8:26 AM on July 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


Thanks Cinco!
posted by fleetmouse at 8:27 AM on July 4, 2010 [10 favorites]


I'm now imagining "Mooning people wearing TV Hat" Flickr pools.
posted by davebush at 8:29 AM on July 4, 2010


camo tv hat + attachable truck nutz = hilarious joke present
posted by synaesthetichaze at 8:29 AM on July 4, 2010


not a bad idea, should sell well.

I love how you can get in any colour you so long as its Red, White, Blue, Camo or Khaki.

WSJ said that "A demo of the product worked reasonably well as long as you don’t care too much about resolution."
posted by Bwithh at 8:29 AM on July 4, 2010


The first time I see someone wearing one of these while driving is when I stop leaving the house forever.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 8:41 AM on July 4, 2010




I'll wait for the Red Green version with the duct tape, coat hangers and plastic garbage bag.
posted by warbaby at 8:42 AM on July 4, 2010


The iPhone 4 would take care of the resolution problem, but you'd still look like a pig with a really big snout.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:42 AM on July 4, 2010


What is the free neck protector for?
posted by jimfl at 8:46 AM on July 4, 2010


Anybody hear the royalty free music that comes with every Mac at the end of the ad?
posted by 47triple2 at 8:48 AM on July 4, 2010


What is the free neck protector for?

Protecting your neck. Duh.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:53 AM on July 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


Say it ain't so.
posted by Malice at 9:03 AM on July 4, 2010


What is the free neck protector for?

When the mugger hits you round the back of the head
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:04 AM on July 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


What is the free neck protector for?

Protecting Ya Neck
posted by Uncle at 9:05 AM on July 4, 2010 [7 favorites]


I haven't done it in a while, but I remember seeing where you're going being a big part of riding a bike. Has it changed that much? Should I be telling kids to get off of my lawn?
posted by zorrine at 9:06 AM on July 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


Heh. When I wuz a kid, I had one of these...
Radio Hat
posted by drhydro at 9:07 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Horace Rumpole nailed it. I wish Dalton Trumbo lived to see this.
posted by dr_dank at 9:10 AM on July 4, 2010


Hate to interrupt, but I've got Aldous Huxley's Ghost here. Says if you use this thing to watch home movies of your kids playing Centrifugal Bumblepuppy (and/or reality TV, which he admits he totally didn't see coming), he's gonna write up the documents transferring global political authority to an authoritarian regime his own damn self.
posted by gompa at 9:10 AM on July 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


iPad killer!
posted by jeffburdges at 9:13 AM on July 4, 2010 [5 favorites]


I'm just imagining seeing things everywhere, like huge throngs of these people on the bus, sitting on park benches, in doctors' offices, whatever, like some horrible They Live in reverse. I'm also thinking that -- just as how in any situation that permits public nudity, the people you'd like to see get naked never do -- the people you hope would buy one of these and never, ever take it off will express a supreme disinterest in it (that they will want to talk to you about all the time).
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:19 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


I hope David Lynch responds to this with a rant.
posted by heyho at 9:19 AM on July 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


Needs ears.
posted by Floydd at 9:27 AM on July 4, 2010


if you're going to put an iphone in there you should leave a hole for the camera for augmented reality apps.
posted by empath at 9:34 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Reminds me of the laptop privacy sweater.
posted by nitsuj at 9:38 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


They sort of scare me. I expect people who are wearing them will treat me for the plague or something.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:43 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


ooh, don't fall off the treadmill, muscles.
posted by sexyrobot at 9:43 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Will it work with an iPad?

::walks away whistling::
posted by Splunge at 9:45 AM on July 4, 2010


That abomination is missing just one thing to make it the paragon of dorkery: It should be powered by the wind via a top-mounted turbine.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:50 AM on July 4, 2010 [3 favorites]


Wearable displays have been around since the '80s. Now, 30 years later, the resolution is still horrible.

Why can't anyone make one with 1080 resolution?
posted by eye of newt at 10:08 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


TV hat's web site design by this guy!
posted by analogue at 10:16 AM on July 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


What's sad about this is you can imagine the inventor, let's call her Shirley, getting all excited by the traffic the website is getting. And then someone shows Shirley how to find where that traffic is coming from, and she reads this thread, and it slowly dawns on her that even the comments she doesn't understand are probably making fun of her little hat, and she's going to have the warehouse full of them for the rest of her life. I can hear her dreams dying.
posted by neuromodulator at 10:35 AM on July 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


It is a natural extension of things like the ipod, but would people ever make the leap towards completely ignoring the world around them whilst enjoying a private experience? Maybe, but not without better marketing. Like if this was a funky pair of wraparound glasses and earbuds that connected to your iphone, with net connectivity. But we'd need new social conventions to protect the legions of zombies blissed out in their own private universes.

"Billy, don't touch your father when he's watching TV!"
posted by Kevin Street at 11:01 AM on July 4, 2010


The augmented reality camera is the first step to becoming Snow Crash style gargoyles.
posted by NoraReed at 11:03 AM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is this seat taken?
posted by doctorschlock at 11:19 AM on July 4, 2010


I already have a flat screen and blu-ray. If I want a movie theater experience, it's for the huge screen, the awesome sound, and the audience. A tricked out baseball cap can't give me any of those.
posted by crunchland at 11:44 AM on July 4, 2010


TV hat is watching you masturbate.
posted by elwoodwiles at 11:58 AM on July 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


It should have little curtains and rows of seats inside, and lights that dim when the show starts.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:04 PM on July 4, 2010 [5 favorites]


It should also come with a half-empty packet of candy to put in your shoes, to complete the theater experience.

Snark aside, I can see this being useful in a handful of situations, when you really do want to block out the rest of the world. Aiplanes, bus rides, shift driving, ... ?
posted by hattifattener at 12:06 PM on July 4, 2010


Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

It's getting closer, people. Every day....
posted by hydatius at 12:08 PM on July 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


Beanie sold separately.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:13 PM on July 4, 2010


Should come with a little periscope sticking out of the top.

And maybe little torpedoes you could launch at other people wearing the TV Hat (r).

Yeah, that's it.
posted by Skygazer at 12:15 PM on July 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


Dear god that thing is goofy. I love the musclebound hulk wearing that thing at the gym. And the office dude playing 'virtual reality' games by tilting his head.

What's sad about this is you can imagine the inventor, let's call her Shirley, getting all excited by the traffic the website is getting. And then someone shows Shirley how to find where that traffic is coming from, and she reads this thread, and it slowly dawns on her that even the comments she doesn't understand are probably making fun of her little hat, and she's going to have the warehouse full of them for the rest of her life. I can hear her dreams dying.

Are you kidding? They probably only paid about $3 a hat if that. There are enough people out there who don't mind looking super goofy and think $29 isn't too much to pay for the VR headset they've been dreaming about since they read snowcrash. (although they're obviously going to be dissapointed). They only need to sell 10% to break even.
posted by delmoi at 12:18 PM on July 4, 2010


tv hat
its the only way i watch porn
posted by robbyrobs at 12:28 PM on July 4, 2010


RobbyRobs: tv hat.
its the only way i watch porn


Also know as the.....Fap Fap Fap Hat (r).


Only 29.99 plus tax! Order now!!

Order now and receive a bottle of Fap HAT lubricant...keeps the fap...hap, hap , happy...

posted by Skygazer at 12:32 PM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


I hope David Lynch responds to this with a rant.

I hope he responds to this with a movie. One designed specifically for watching inside TV Hat..
posted by mannequito at 12:34 PM on July 4, 2010 [2 favorites]


It should have little curtains and rows of seats inside, and lights that dim when the show starts...

Throw in two little snarky robots and miniature sarcastic guy trapped on a satellite called Love and you have a sale.

As someone who as recently as five years ago wanted to actually try roaming the land as a Snow Crash digital gargoyle complete with a backpack full of gear, a head mounted display and cameras and cables strapped on everywhere - I'm honestly deeply impressed that they managed to make something even dorkier looking than an actual head mounted display. Jaron Lanier must be masturbating furiously. While crying.

Seriously, just the mere existence of this fantastic abomination has to have destroyed about 50% of the cool factor of owning an iPod or iPhone.

Can they do something about skinny jeans? Maybe a set of extra pockets you can strap on because your jeans are too tight to keep anything in the pockets? Sure, it'll look a fanny pack, but they could call it something like "Hip Pockets!" and market it with a free tallboy beer cozy and U-lock holster that velcros on the side of the thing.
posted by loquacious at 12:36 PM on July 4, 2010 [4 favorites]


I think this is the first time I've heard "hands-free" refer to something other than a sex toy. Perhaps TV Hat will do for the phrase "hands-free" what the tea partiers did for the term "teabagging." In that case, I'm all for it.
posted by treepour at 12:36 PM on July 4, 2010


That thing creeps me out, but so did Snuggies and look how those took off.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 1:21 PM on July 4, 2010


"I hope David Lynch responds to this with a rant."

"I hope he responds to this with a movie. One designed specifically for watching inside TV Hat..."

A movie of people sitting inside a plane or train car for two hours. And nothing happens.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:42 PM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


"I think this is the first time I've heard "hands-free" refer to something other than a sex toy."

hmmmm...

You might be in the minority about that...
posted by HuronBob at 1:45 PM on July 4, 2010


David Lynch? I hope Matthew Barney responds to this with a movie made for TV Hat™!
posted by TochterAusElysium at 1:54 PM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Is not a TV hat somewhat missing the point of camping?
posted by madajb at 2:09 PM on July 4, 2010


ouch!

imagine the eyestrain

TV hat will probably make you go BLIND
posted by DavidandConquer at 2:58 PM on July 4, 2010


Throw in two little snarky robots and miniature sarcastic guy trapped on a satellite called Love and you have a sale.

Just cut out this silhouette and stick it to the screen magnifier in your TV Hat and you have YOUR own Satellite of Love.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:16 PM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


Horse Boy, explained!
posted by chavenet at 3:20 PM on July 4, 2010


Is this thing pressurized? I imagine that if you sneeze you'll blast your eyeballs backwards through your skull.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:52 PM on July 4, 2010


In my day all we had was Hat FM.

(low-grade NSFW.)
posted by mintcake! at 4:31 PM on July 4, 2010


Crudballs, that link was meant to go here.
posted by mintcake! at 4:32 PM on July 4, 2010


You can tell this was invented by a young person because nobody over 40 is going to be able to focus their eyes on a screen mounted that close. Maybe they should offer a free pair of reading glasses to sweeten the deal.
posted by localroger at 4:58 PM on July 4, 2010


This is why we can't have nice things/the terrorists hate us.
posted by littlerobothead at 5:01 PM on July 4, 2010 [1 favorite]


You can tell this was invented by a young person because nobody over 40 is going to be able to focus their eyes on a screen mounted that close. Maybe they should offer a free pair of reading glasses to sweeten the deal.

There's some kind of lens inside.
posted by delmoi at 6:08 PM on July 4, 2010


am waiting for the Hello Kitty limited edition with anime eyes.
posted by liza at 8:46 PM on July 4, 2010


Will this be compatible with my Beer Hat? Or can I throw in an extra $8.99 for the extension?
posted by kozad at 9:36 PM on July 4, 2010


The competitor needs to add some ironic hat if it wants to compete.
posted by mullacc at 11:43 PM on July 4, 2010


Finally... a product designed specifically to help you see all those pixels you would otherwise miss on the new iPhone!

If they made this airtight, it would be even cooler.
posted by markkraft at 4:22 AM on July 5, 2010


Here's your neck protector and a whole new dimension in listening pleasure (top of the page) as well! http://www.pocketcalculatorshow.com/magicalgadget/index3.html
posted by Guy Newport at 10:27 AM on July 5, 2010


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