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Metafilter: Self-Effacing Wit with Homespun Charm
July 5, 2010 7:59 PM   Subscribe

"My web site will encourage kindness among those who support it, and creative punishment for those who do not." Mefi's own Shepherd "got a little carried away" creating his blog's under construction placeholder page. The result is a terrifying dystopic epic. [via mefi projects]
posted by l33tpolicywonk (40 comments total) 67 users marked this as a favorite

 
That was fucking amazing.
posted by djduckie at 8:03 PM on July 5, 2010


Your web site speaks to me and I wish to subscribe to its zombie-like throng.

Seriously though, this was great! But the last few images were really small and impossible to read for some reason. Feature? Or flaw?
posted by Effigy2000 at 8:04 PM on July 5, 2010


Don't ever finish that site. (it's perfect as it is)
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:08 PM on July 5, 2010


I love this.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:11 PM on July 5, 2010


Also, his resume is probably the best I've ever seen.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:13 PM on July 5, 2010 [5 favorites]


But the last few images were really small and impossible to read for some reason. Feature? Or flaw?

Ditto
posted by PercussivePaul at 8:17 PM on July 5, 2010


I am madly pushing the "j" key and not getting my reward!!
posted by barnacles at 8:25 PM on July 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


The images were tiny for me on first play too, but I closed out and just linked back to it, and then it was fine. Man, was it fine! Nice work, Shepherd.
posted by heyho at 8:27 PM on July 5, 2010


Delightfully ominous.

And I don't know if it already is, but shep.ca would make awesome Yiddish slang for something.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 8:42 PM on July 5, 2010


barnacles: I am madly pushing the "j" key and not getting my reward!!

Soon somebody will volunteer to code that right up…
posted by paisley henosis at 8:50 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Soon somebody will volunteer to code that right up…

And cortex will do a Brubeck version of it.

My website will one day eclipse me.
posted by Back to you, Jim. at 8:52 PM on July 5, 2010


It reminds me of this dry-erase showcase of a book by its author, on various appliances. Now in four colors!
posted by Rhaomi at 8:54 PM on July 5, 2010 [1 favorite]


Bravo, that has to be the most enjoyable "under construction" page in the history of the intertubes.
posted by MikeMc at 9:02 PM on July 5, 2010


Finally, a website I can support!!
posted by hot_monster at 9:03 PM on July 5, 2010


My website will be tough.
posted by redsparkler at 9:17 PM on July 5, 2010


But fair.
posted by redsparkler at 9:17 PM on July 5, 2010


But the last few images were really small and impossible to read for some reason. Feature? Or flaw?

I assumed it was a test of my commitment to the website.
posted by homunculus at 9:20 PM on July 5, 2010 [3 favorites]


That's excellent.
posted by rtha at 9:35 PM on July 5, 2010


I'm already in your garage.
posted by pracowity at 12:21 AM on July 6, 2010


That is a fucking awesome CV.

But the game designers should be aware that there is a typo on page 7 of the manual which will need fixing in the re-release.
posted by the latin mouse at 12:38 AM on July 6, 2010


Seriously though, this was great! But the last few images were really small and impossible to read for some reason. Feature? Or flaw?

Flaw, I guess, and one I'm finding it hard to reproduce. This is a bit of a learning-JavaScript thing for me (asked about in MeFi Projects), and I hand-wrote/drew, scanned, and resized the images all at the same time, so I'm not sure why some are being apparently crushed.
posted by Shepherd at 1:56 AM on July 6, 2010


Oh, and that typo never existed, he said, waving his hands vaguely in the air and humming ominously.
posted by Shepherd at 2:01 AM on July 6, 2010 [4 favorites]


You can reproduce the bug by clearing your cache. This is apparently a known limitation of the cycle jquery plugin. http://forum.jquery.com/topic/cycle-plugin-image-height-problem
posted by bitslayer at 5:09 AM on July 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


You can reproduce the bug by clearing your cache.

Thanks -- I still couldn't manage it (maybe my browser/OS combo) but implemented the "set a mandatory height value" fix suggested on your linked page.
posted by Shepherd at 5:37 AM on July 6, 2010


kinda stinko if you ask me........
posted by gigbutt at 5:49 AM on July 6, 2010


Genius!
posted by ellieBOA at 6:09 AM on July 6, 2010


whatever this wasnt that good i was kinda bored by the end and WAIT WHY IS MY TELEVISION ON FIRE
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:04 AM on July 6, 2010


But the last few images were really small and impossible to read for some reason. Feature? Or flaw?

All of them are squished for me except for the first one. I'm using FF 3.6.6 (Windows).
posted by bluefly at 7:11 AM on July 6, 2010


Genius.
posted by misha at 9:02 AM on July 6, 2010


another typo on page 6?: "throughout this lengthly level"
posted by skwt at 9:07 AM on July 6, 2010


another typo on page 6?: "throughout this lengthly level"

"Lengthly" is a perfectly cromulent... oh, hell.

Regarding the crushed-images thing, I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do. The perils of making your personal Web site your edumacational sandbox -- if anyone can suggest a fix, I'm all ears. But MeMail might be more appropriate than posting in the thread.
posted by Shepherd at 9:24 AM on July 6, 2010


You're going for the MetaFilter Quad-fecta, aren't you? Should we begin an I/P discussion here to bring on the Meta post?
posted by charred husk at 12:55 PM on July 6, 2010


I shall think of an appropriately snarky retort as soon as the soul-crushing avalanche of envy has passed o'er me, you creative bastard you...
posted by OneMonkeysUncle at 1:33 PM on July 6, 2010


Love this. Can't wait for the banksy followers and hirstians to wage their war.
posted by glenn333 at 2:07 PM on July 6, 2010


The web site he is working on has already been created. It's called Google.
posted by banished at 5:16 PM on July 6, 2010


My website already eclipses me, and I haven't even started construction on it yet.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:19 PM on July 6, 2010


There's a typo on page 5: should be "fledgling."

Proofreader hat off. I loved the website :]
posted by fiercecupcake at 5:50 PM on July 6, 2010


Okay, I can stand behind "fledgeling" with confidence, but appreciate all the typo-hunting to date.
posted by Shepherd at 6:21 PM on July 6, 2010


Sorry, Shepherd, I suck. Apparently it's a [British] variant, though not in [the American] M-W. I hang my head in shame (and go to find a beer). I know better; I should have looked it up first.
posted by fiercecupcake at 7:07 PM on July 6, 2010


Hey, I've seen this site! :-) Sorry I missed it now. Shoulda updated the AskMe thread with the result. :-)
posted by artlung at 8:50 AM on July 7, 2010


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