Step 1: Take a Shower Because You're Probably Dirty
July 14, 2010 12:02 PM Subscribe
Ok, that was funny.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 12:08 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by furiousxgeorge at 12:08 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Um.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 12:08 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 12:08 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Found this on tumblr earlier this week. It was surprisingly funny.
posted by azarbayejani at 12:08 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by azarbayejani at 12:08 PM on July 14, 2010
But how do I trick people into thinking I'm funny?
posted by Navelgazer at 12:09 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by Navelgazer at 12:09 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
It was funny, but she's not ugly.
posted by pinky at 12:09 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by pinky at 12:09 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
The point is undermined a little by the fact that she's actually attractive, but the image of her crying over her master's degree sold me.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:09 PM on July 14, 2010 [32 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:09 PM on July 14, 2010 [32 favorites]
I expected to hate this, and instead I loved it. I actually think it's really insightful into the way that things like dark eye makeup, fake tans, bleached hair, etc are markers of "conventional hotness."
And yeah, the crying over the masters diploma cracked me up too. I've been tempted to do that, even without all those trappings of conventional hotness!
posted by lunasol at 12:14 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
And yeah, the crying over the masters diploma cracked me up too. I've been tempted to do that, even without all those trappings of conventional hotness!
posted by lunasol at 12:14 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
"Fake oar lashes"? What?
Also people need to stop tryin' to be Ze Frank.
We rate this video "not unacceptable".
posted by boo_radley at 12:15 PM on July 14, 2010
Also people need to stop tryin' to be Ze Frank.
We rate this video "not unacceptable".
posted by boo_radley at 12:15 PM on July 14, 2010
I found this to be about 40% really funny and 60% huh?
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:15 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:15 PM on July 14, 2010
WTF now Jenna from Barstool makes it on mefi. Is this fake life? What is going on? You're forcing me to reconsider my initial "nope, not funny" analysis.
posted by nathancaswell at 12:15 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by nathancaswell at 12:15 PM on July 14, 2010
That was pretty funny.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:16 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by The Light Fantastic at 12:16 PM on July 14, 2010
The point is undermined a little by the fact that she's actually attractive
I sorta think that's partly the point. She's attractive before, but the idea is that she feels like a "fucking weirdo." All the markers for hotness mask that weirdo-ness.
posted by lunasol at 12:16 PM on July 14, 2010 [7 favorites]
I sorta think that's partly the point. She's attractive before, but the idea is that she feels like a "fucking weirdo." All the markers for hotness mask that weirdo-ness.
posted by lunasol at 12:16 PM on July 14, 2010 [7 favorites]
Surprisingly funny. And people, there's all sorts of levels of meta in this one!!!!UNO!!!
posted by VikingSword at 12:16 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by VikingSword at 12:16 PM on July 14, 2010
That was only OK, but she seems quite funny. I like her delivery.
posted by defenestration at 12:17 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by defenestration at 12:17 PM on July 14, 2010
(I happen to think it'd have been at least 20% funnier if she hadn't associated so many conventional-hotness markers with "whore.")
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:19 PM on July 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:19 PM on July 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
The best part of this video is scrolling the slider bar between the beginning and the end really fast.
posted by zephyr_words at 12:21 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by zephyr_words at 12:21 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
(I happen to think it'd have been at least 20% funnier if she hadn't associated so many conventional-hotness markers with "whore.")
That's as may be. But I think it might have undermined her general theme which seemed to be: Making yourself look like a whore will trick people into thinking you're hot.
posted by Babblesort at 12:21 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
That's as may be. But I think it might have undermined her general theme which seemed to be: Making yourself look like a whore will trick people into thinking you're hot.
posted by Babblesort at 12:21 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Wrong! The whore lines are the best part.
Point: Ram
posted by chunking express at 12:21 PM on July 14, 2010
Point: Ram
posted by chunking express at 12:21 PM on July 14, 2010
Step 1. Be attractive...
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:23 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:23 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
I'm disappointed with this video because she didn't demonstrate how to do the eye makeup, and now I can't be hot.
posted by jeoc at 12:23 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by jeoc at 12:23 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
If you're offended by "whore" DO NOT TRY TO SEE MORE OF JENNA at the website in the speech bubble on the video (Barstool Sports Boston). It is unabashedly mysogionist and offensive. And funny. The fact that this video is getting millions of views and the forgot to watermark it is hilarious.
posted by nathancaswell at 12:23 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by nathancaswell at 12:23 PM on July 14, 2010
Ha ha. This is so hilarious! And it's so true – those people are exactly like that! I am glad one of us has taken the time to point out in a crude Youtube video all the particular aspects of those people that make them stupid.
posted by koeselitz at 12:24 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by koeselitz at 12:24 PM on July 14, 2010
The point is undermined a little by the fact that she's actually attractive
I thought that was the point. On it's face the video is presenting itself as tips for ugly people to be attractive but I think the hidden message is demonstrating ways that attractive people (which Jenna is) make themselves less attractive.
posted by andoatnp at 12:25 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
I thought that was the point. On it's face the video is presenting itself as tips for ugly people to be attractive but I think the hidden message is demonstrating ways that attractive people (which Jenna is) make themselves less attractive.
posted by andoatnp at 12:25 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
I have yet to see an actual prostitute that looks like that (I browse the St. Paul Prostitution site once in a while). I think she means trashy and slutty, which is not actually a marker for attractiveness, but for sexual availability.
And the truth is, I have no beef with trashy and slutty. If I could pull off the male version of that look, I would.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:26 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
And the truth is, I have no beef with trashy and slutty. If I could pull off the male version of that look, I would.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:26 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
I didn't watch the whole thing, but the part I watched seemed like she was doing a bit of a Suze Orman impression. Or rather, Kristen Wiig doing Suze Orman. Or am I crazy?
posted by sharkfu at 12:31 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by sharkfu at 12:31 PM on July 14, 2010
Let's all over analyse the joke!
posted by chunking express at 12:32 PM on July 14, 2010 [23 favorites]
posted by chunking express at 12:32 PM on July 14, 2010 [23 favorites]
I am glad one of us has taken the time to point out in a crude Youtube video all the particular aspects of those people that make them stupid vain and shallow.
FTFY
posted by Throw away your common sense and get an afro! at 12:32 PM on July 14, 2010
FTFY
posted by Throw away your common sense and get an afro! at 12:32 PM on July 14, 2010
In the first 10 seconds I was more than half convinced that the reveal would be that she was a boy. Seriously, she looks quite a bit like what you'd get if you put a wig on the Malcolm in the Middle kid around age 14 or so.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:34 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:34 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
Who hasn't imagined a girl wig on that kid?
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:35 PM on July 14, 2010 [13 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:35 PM on July 14, 2010 [13 favorites]
I cracked up at "that was not good for it"
posted by orme at 12:36 PM on July 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by orme at 12:36 PM on July 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
I think this is the kind of thing you have to be from New England to really appreciate, too, by the way. I notice she's got a Boston University Master's (I'd be crying, too - ha) which makes some sense to me. I used to live ten blocks from BU, and yes, it was a bit overrun by the sorority type of person typified by her little diatribe.
That's kind of why I don't live on the east coast anymore, actually; the only answer people seemed to have to anything is just hate. People on the east coast need to chill.
posted by koeselitz at 12:36 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
That's kind of why I don't live on the east coast anymore, actually; the only answer people seemed to have to anything is just hate. People on the east coast need to chill.
posted by koeselitz at 12:36 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
"Very few girls are naturally beautiful without spending hours making an effort with their hair and make up etc....and many of whom fall into an attention seeking catagory of either vanity or insecurity. Either way, attention, reassurance or otherwise massaging your ego is needed.
Still, you've got a pretty fit body which is more important than good looks....you don't look at the mantlepiece when you're stoking the fire."
I thought offensively stupid youtube comments were meant to be extremely short with very bad spelling?
posted by robself at 12:40 PM on July 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
Still, you've got a pretty fit body which is more important than good looks....you don't look at the mantlepiece when you're stoking the fire."
I thought offensively stupid youtube comments were meant to be extremely short with very bad spelling?
posted by robself at 12:40 PM on July 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
People on the east coast need to chill.
You should make a funny Youtube video to that effect.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:42 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
You should make a funny Youtube video to that effect.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:42 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
Babblesort: “But I think it might have undermined her general theme which seemed to be: Making yourself look like a whore will trick people into thinking you're hot.”
How does a whore look?
posted by koeselitz at 12:42 PM on July 14, 2010
How does a whore look?
posted by koeselitz at 12:42 PM on July 14, 2010
Metafilter: Let's all over analyse the joke!
posted by benzenedream at 12:44 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 12:44 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
Her getting-ready routine is exactly what my freshman year roommate would do, haha. "That was not good for it."
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:45 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by Solon and Thanks at 12:45 PM on July 14, 2010
How does a whore look?
posted by koeselitz
Well you'll notice I said it was her theme. Therefore you should be directing that question to her not
me.
She's already answered it pretty well for her own part though by making a video of herself and describing various aspects of her appearance as looking like a whore.
posted by Babblesort at 12:47 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by koeselitz
Well you'll notice I said it was her theme. Therefore you should be directing that question to her not
me.
She's already answered it pretty well for her own part though by making a video of herself and describing various aspects of her appearance as looking like a whore.
posted by Babblesort at 12:47 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Guys, can you trust us to remove offensive bullshit comments and not start ruining an otherwise okay thread?
I thought the video was very funny.
posted by jessamyn at 12:48 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
I thought the video was very funny.
posted by jessamyn at 12:48 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
Perhaps we can collectively be cautious not to take a cue from her language choices as a pretext for making our own public judgments about the relative value of women we personally disapprove of, especially if we couple that with words that have a history of being used in a derogatory manner toward women whose sexual values we may not share.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:49 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:49 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
That's kind of why I don't live on the east coast anymore, actually; the only answer people seemed to have to anything is just hate. People on the east coast need to chill.
People on the west coast are all like, ohh yeahh, and people on the east coast are like nuhh uhh.
FTFY,
Peopleon the east coast need to chill.
posted by zephyr_words at 12:50 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
People on the west coast are all like, ohh yeahh, and people on the east coast are like nuhh uhh.
FTFY,
People
posted by zephyr_words at 12:50 PM on July 14, 2010 [4 favorites]
I thought the video was very funny. - Jessamyn
I win at MetaFilter?
posted by andoatnp at 12:54 PM on July 14, 2010
I win at MetaFilter?
posted by andoatnp at 12:54 PM on July 14, 2010
Not in those pants.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:59 PM on July 14, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:59 PM on July 14, 2010 [6 favorites]
Perhaps we can collectively be cautious not to take a cue from her language choices as a pretext for making our own public judgments about the relative value of women we personally disapprove of, especially if we couple that with words that have a history of being used in a derogatory manner toward women whose sexual values we may not share.
But how will I feel good about myself if I don't express negative stereotypes in hopes of finding those who agree with me, thus validating my already narrow view of the the world, college boy?
posted by new brand day at 1:01 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
But how will I feel good about myself if I don't express negative stereotypes in hopes of finding those who agree with me, thus validating my already narrow view of the the world, college boy?
posted by new brand day at 1:01 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
The old fashioned way: public stonings.
I am, at best, a community college boy.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:04 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
I am, at best, a community college boy.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:04 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
I am pretty sure this video is a Web 2.0 resume.
Notice how she includes her Master's degree? Her work history?
She could post this straight to Monster.com.
posted by surplus at 1:07 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
Notice how she includes her Master's degree? Her work history?
She could post this straight to Monster.com.
posted by surplus at 1:07 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
zephyr_words: “People on the west coast are all like, ohh yeahh, and people on the east coast are like nuhh uhh.”
Not a judgment or a condemnation, just an observation. I think it holds true, too; I think on the east coast, people are thrown together more in a way; so they have less of a tendency to take a offense at things, and are more likely to enjoy some social satire like this.
So maybe I just need to see this through those eyes.
Also, it's worth pointing out that people from the West are much more likely to take offense at stuff, even when it might not be offensive. Maybe I'm just projecting, but I think we're less used to this kind of thing, so it makes us uneasy. And, yes, maybe then we need to chill.
I still can't think of a level on which "looks like a whore" is funny, but maybe that's just me.
posted by koeselitz at 1:07 PM on July 14, 2010
Not a judgment or a condemnation, just an observation. I think it holds true, too; I think on the east coast, people are thrown together more in a way; so they have less of a tendency to take a offense at things, and are more likely to enjoy some social satire like this.
So maybe I just need to see this through those eyes.
Also, it's worth pointing out that people from the West are much more likely to take offense at stuff, even when it might not be offensive. Maybe I'm just projecting, but I think we're less used to this kind of thing, so it makes us uneasy. And, yes, maybe then we need to chill.
I still can't think of a level on which "looks like a whore" is funny, but maybe that's just me.
posted by koeselitz at 1:07 PM on July 14, 2010
It seems like she's right, based on the girls I see on the metro. I kept wondering, when did all the white girls decide to dye their hair that shade of blonde? Was it on the internet? Did their friends tell them to do it? I think I first started seeing it in 2004 when I came upon two girls in my then office talking about having to get their hair highlighted on a monthly basis, but it seems like they all went to getting their hair shades lighter and lighter, but now I'm not sure anymore. Is this group think or is there an internet forum where they all decided to do this at once? Or a phone tree? I must know.
posted by anniecat at 1:07 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by anniecat at 1:07 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
But how do I get my eyes like hers? I must know this, too.
posted by anniecat at 1:08 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by anniecat at 1:08 PM on July 14, 2010
That video needed professional white balancing.
Also, I did think she was better looking in her facebook photos, so go figure.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:10 PM on July 14, 2010
Also, I did think she was better looking in her facebook photos, so go figure.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:10 PM on July 14, 2010
Was it on the internet?
There are an insane number of make-up tip videos on YouTube.
posted by smackfu at 1:14 PM on July 14, 2010
There are an insane number of make-up tip videos on YouTube.
posted by smackfu at 1:14 PM on July 14, 2010
I'll admit it, the crying over the Master's degree made this one for me. Not that I've ever cried over mine. Much.
posted by tommasz at 1:15 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by tommasz at 1:15 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
But how do I get my eyes like hers? I must know this, too.
Haha, I know. I have long hair for the first time, like, in my life, and I've been trying to figure out how to blow dry it out--which this video promised, but didn't deliver!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:16 PM on July 14, 2010
Haha, I know. I have long hair for the first time, like, in my life, and I've been trying to figure out how to blow dry it out--which this video promised, but didn't deliver!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:16 PM on July 14, 2010
Good for a laugh.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:16 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:16 PM on July 14, 2010
I think this is the kind of thing you have to be from New England to really appreciate, too, by the way.
Right. It's not like anyone can understand this. You gotta be from New England to really appreciate it.
Wait, you mean there's a new England? Better luck with that football thing next time...
posted by sour cream at 1:18 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Right. It's not like anyone can understand this. You gotta be from New England to really appreciate it.
Wait, you mean there's a new England? Better luck with that football thing next time...
posted by sour cream at 1:18 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
There are an insane number of make-up tip videos on YouTube.
Not makeup. Highlightling hair or bleaching it white blonde.
posted by anniecat at 1:18 PM on July 14, 2010
Not makeup. Highlightling hair or bleaching it white blonde.
posted by anniecat at 1:18 PM on July 14, 2010
I kept wondering, when did all the white girls decide to dye their hair that shade of blonde? Was it on the internet? Did their friends tell them to do it? I think I first started seeing it in 2004 [...]
2004 is right around the time TV was suddenly inundated with reruns of Married... With Children; the proper term for "bleached the absolute shit out of my hair" is Applegation.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:20 PM on July 14, 2010
2004 is right around the time TV was suddenly inundated with reruns of Married... With Children; the proper term for "bleached the absolute shit out of my hair" is Applegation.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:20 PM on July 14, 2010
Yeah, clearly she's not ugly.
But it does look like her left eye is larger than her right eye, or at least the iris is. Is that my imagination?
posted by maxwelton at 1:21 PM on July 14, 2010
But it does look like her left eye is larger than her right eye, or at least the iris is. Is that my imagination?
posted by maxwelton at 1:21 PM on July 14, 2010
I'd like to see historical versions of this video. Like a flapper showing you how to put a ton of dark eyeshadow and red lipstick on, or an 80s woman blowing out her hair to ridiculous proportions. It's crazy how people who look so different naturally can make themselves look so similar.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 1:26 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by Solon and Thanks at 1:26 PM on July 14, 2010
I keep trying for that white-blonde color, too, but always end up with a kind of brassy pale yellow. I like how artificial the brassiness is, but how do you get your hair white white?
posted by Jimmy Havok at 1:37 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by Jimmy Havok at 1:37 PM on July 14, 2010
There was a tutorial on that on one of the livejournal hair dye communities years ago. Basically, you spend several days alternating bleaching your hair and conditioning and use a blue or purple toner.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:39 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:39 PM on July 14, 2010
Found it. Unfortunately, none of the pictures work.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:41 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:41 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Whitey-white hair needs two things;
1) If you are already lighter than a brunette, you need the super-white bleach kit that promises "lightening 9 steps" or more, basically they have a bag of bleaching powder and a bottle of creme in them. 2 ounces of powder to 3 ounces of creme. Let this sit - covered and heated if you can - for 60 minutes in your hair.*
2) Purple shampoo for white hair (little old ladies!) as it keeps the brassiness from happening after bleaching.
* it is better to go to a hairdresser for this, I once bleached three times over and achieved pure near see-through platinum hair but hoo boy, it burns. Not as bad as black does, but it burns.
posted by dabitch at 2:00 PM on July 14, 2010
1) If you are already lighter than a brunette, you need the super-white bleach kit that promises "lightening 9 steps" or more, basically they have a bag of bleaching powder and a bottle of creme in them. 2 ounces of powder to 3 ounces of creme. Let this sit - covered and heated if you can - for 60 minutes in your hair.*
2) Purple shampoo for white hair (little old ladies!) as it keeps the brassiness from happening after bleaching.
* it is better to go to a hairdresser for this, I once bleached three times over and achieved pure near see-through platinum hair but hoo boy, it burns. Not as bad as black does, but it burns.
posted by dabitch at 2:00 PM on July 14, 2010
I'm a dude who does (by dude standards) a ridiculous amount of Stuff To My Face before I leave the house every morning and I found this pretty amusing.
posted by The Whelk at 2:03 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 2:03 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
The blinkless Ze Frank delivery makes this too distracting to be funny and places her somewhere in the uncanny valley. I'd say the same thing about Ze Frank come to think of it.
posted by quadog at 2:05 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by quadog at 2:05 PM on July 14, 2010
I ran across this a few days ago and thought it was funny, but in the category of secret shamefully funny that I would never dare post to metafilter or facebook.
posted by mecran01 at 2:20 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by mecran01 at 2:20 PM on July 14, 2010
Bullshit. I did everything she said and I still look like shit.
posted by nola at 2:27 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by nola at 2:27 PM on July 14, 2010 [3 favorites]
Yeah, I thought this wasn't funny at all either, after being pointed to it by people who I totally think are hilarious and whose senses of humor I completely trust. So, I'm not sure what's up with that.
posted by rusty at 2:33 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by rusty at 2:33 PM on July 14, 2010
(I'm from New England, by the way. So getting it and knowing the people she's mocking here doesn't necessarily make it funny.)
posted by rusty at 2:38 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by rusty at 2:38 PM on July 14, 2010
Cute video, but it fails to address why a person would want to be "good-looking" to begin with.
Hang on, my lizard brain is trying to tell me something...
posted by LordSludge at 2:38 PM on July 14, 2010
Hang on, my lizard brain is trying to tell me something...
posted by LordSludge at 2:38 PM on July 14, 2010
The real joke, I think, is that ugly (and those who think they're ugly) people already do this. There are so many "she'd be a lot better looking if she'd knock off the dye and globs of makeup" women in this town (a college town), it's just painful.
Painful.
posted by grubi at 2:39 PM on July 14, 2010
Painful.
posted by grubi at 2:39 PM on July 14, 2010
I'm disappointed with this video because she didn't demonstrate how to do the eye makeup, and now I can't be hot. - jeoc
Don't worry, we have Glowpinkstah to help us with makeup.
posted by vespabelle at 2:41 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Don't worry, we have Glowpinkstah to help us with makeup.
posted by vespabelle at 2:41 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
I think this is the kind of thing you have to be from New England to really appreciate, too, by the way.
Huh, I've been blaming New Jersey and long Island for this look.
posted by longsleeves at 3:03 PM on July 14, 2010
Huh, I've been blaming New Jersey and long Island for this look.
posted by longsleeves at 3:03 PM on July 14, 2010
The real joke, I think, is that ugly (and those who think they're ugly) people already do this.
See I took the joke as "Totally normal looking women who are probably just fine looking think they need to do things like this to look attractive when instead they wind up looking like total prostitute stereotypes in order to look attractive-on-the-internet. And then they berate other normal-looking women and say that they look terrible too and the cycle continues. Isn't that odd?" Like, she looks fine normally. Then she looks scary, awful and garish.
posted by jessamyn at 3:04 PM on July 14, 2010 [7 favorites]
See I took the joke as "Totally normal looking women who are probably just fine looking think they need to do things like this to look attractive when instead they wind up looking like total prostitute stereotypes in order to look attractive-on-the-internet. And then they berate other normal-looking women and say that they look terrible too and the cycle continues. Isn't that odd?" Like, she looks fine normally. Then she looks scary, awful and garish.
posted by jessamyn at 3:04 PM on July 14, 2010 [7 favorites]
longsleeves: “Huh, I've been blaming New Jersey and long Island for this look.”
[I am probably showing what a confused outsider I am when I say that those are in New England for me. New England is just a big mish-mash of the whole eastern seaboard all the way down to Maryland. Now I realize (particularly looking at this Wikipedia page) that I'm pretty much a billion miles away from what someone who's actually from there thinks is "New England." I think I just always thought that "New England" was simply the northern half of the 13 colonies. That seems ridiculously simple, but there you have it: one more piece of evidence demonstrating that weird misconceptions are often retained well into adulthood. I have to say that I also feel weird calling it "the east coast," because really Georgia is just as much on the east coast as New York is.]
posted by koeselitz at 3:20 PM on July 14, 2010
[I am probably showing what a confused outsider I am when I say that those are in New England for me. New England is just a big mish-mash of the whole eastern seaboard all the way down to Maryland. Now I realize (particularly looking at this Wikipedia page) that I'm pretty much a billion miles away from what someone who's actually from there thinks is "New England." I think I just always thought that "New England" was simply the northern half of the 13 colonies. That seems ridiculously simple, but there you have it: one more piece of evidence demonstrating that weird misconceptions are often retained well into adulthood. I have to say that I also feel weird calling it "the east coast," because really Georgia is just as much on the east coast as New York is.]
posted by koeselitz at 3:20 PM on July 14, 2010
Who hasn't imagined a girl wig on that kid?
the Lord?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:22 PM on July 14, 2010
the Lord?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:22 PM on July 14, 2010
I have long hair for the first time, like, in my life, and I've been trying to figure out how to blow dry it out--which this video promised, but didn't deliver!
I think that is most likely the work of a straightening iron, which is for when you're tired of being kind to your hair with the blow dryer and just want to beat it into submission.
I think this is the kind of thing you have to be from New England to really appreciate, too, by the way.
I appreciate it pretty well being from the south (god knows there aren't any insecure women wearing silly makeup here), although here that tan would be about times 70. I actually thought she was going to work in some kind of joke about being tanned when she wasn't at all, but no.
posted by frobozz at 3:22 PM on July 14, 2010
I think that is most likely the work of a straightening iron, which is for when you're tired of being kind to your hair with the blow dryer and just want to beat it into submission.
I think this is the kind of thing you have to be from New England to really appreciate, too, by the way.
I appreciate it pretty well being from the south (god knows there aren't any insecure women wearing silly makeup here), although here that tan would be about times 70. I actually thought she was going to work in some kind of joke about being tanned when she wasn't at all, but no.
posted by frobozz at 3:22 PM on July 14, 2010
I win at MetaFilter?
Not inthose pants.
posted by oneirodynia at 3:25 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
Not in
posted by oneirodynia at 3:25 PM on July 14, 2010 [2 favorites]
There was a tutorial on that on one of the livejournal hair dye communities years ago. Basically, you spend several days alternating bleaching your hair and conditioning and use a blue or purple toner.
And then your hair breaks whenever you touch it ....
posted by krinklyfig at 4:04 PM on July 14, 2010
And then your hair breaks whenever you touch it ....
posted by krinklyfig at 4:04 PM on July 14, 2010
* it is better to go to a hairdresser for this, I once bleached three times over and achieved pure near see-through platinum hair but hoo boy, it burns. Not as bad as black does, but it burns.
Yeah, that stuff is really not very good for you either. I have several friends who have been changing their hair color for 20+ years, so whatever gets you through the night, but it does damage over time ... at one point Tori Amos gave up and decided to wear a wig.
posted by krinklyfig at 4:09 PM on July 14, 2010
Yeah, that stuff is really not very good for you either. I have several friends who have been changing their hair color for 20+ years, so whatever gets you through the night, but it does damage over time ... at one point Tori Amos gave up and decided to wear a wig.
posted by krinklyfig at 4:09 PM on July 14, 2010
I'm tired of this. I think she looks fine. She looked fine before, she looked fine after, until she started dancing around to show you how stupid she was supposed to look. I know people who dress like that and they look fine, too. They are good people to whom good things happen and bad things happen and still they do wonderful things for others. It is a style-- perhaps self-conscious and one you may not agree with, but it is no worse than the people I see at the market trumpeting their eco-friendly car, their organic cotton clothes, and their 1000 dollar baby stroller.
posted by oflinkey at 4:13 PM on July 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by oflinkey at 4:13 PM on July 14, 2010 [8 favorites]
And then your hair breaks whenever you touch it ....
Actually, if you follow the directions in the LJ post, you can see that the emphasis is as getting your hair as pale as possible without it breaking. That's why you take time between bleachings, deep condition it, don't wash it often, don't process it with heat, etc.
(Also, repeatedly dying your hair red with permanent dye is way more damaging than going blond--because the red washes out almost immediately, necessitating a redye.)
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:32 PM on July 14, 2010
Actually, if you follow the directions in the LJ post, you can see that the emphasis is as getting your hair as pale as possible without it breaking. That's why you take time between bleachings, deep condition it, don't wash it often, don't process it with heat, etc.
(Also, repeatedly dying your hair red with permanent dye is way more damaging than going blond--because the red washes out almost immediately, necessitating a redye.)
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 4:32 PM on July 14, 2010
I think this is the kind of thing you have to be from New England to really appreciate, too, by the way.
Not exactly. This exact style was common amongst young ladies from high school age up through college and beyond when I was living in San Diego four years ago.
posted by mdaugherty82 at 4:42 PM on July 14, 2010
Not exactly. This exact style was common amongst young ladies from high school age up through college and beyond when I was living in San Diego four years ago.
posted by mdaugherty82 at 4:42 PM on July 14, 2010
then your hair breaks whenever you touch it
Not if it's short.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 4:54 PM on July 14, 2010
Not if it's short.
posted by Jimmy Havok at 4:54 PM on July 14, 2010
I have to say that I also feel weird calling it "the east coast,"
Another good choice is "the Northeast". Or just New York (a.k.a. "the city") because that pretty much covers it what you want to talk about when you mean "not New England". Or I guess you could say Philly but no one in my experience ever talks about Philly.
posted by smackfu at 5:40 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
Another good choice is "the Northeast". Or just New York (a.k.a. "the city") because that pretty much covers it what you want to talk about when you mean "not New England". Or I guess you could say Philly but no one in my experience ever talks about Philly.
posted by smackfu at 5:40 PM on July 14, 2010 [1 favorite]
I think one of the reasons people find this funny is less about the visuals as the quality of her voice.
But that crappy bleach job is pretty amusing.
posted by bwg at 6:11 PM on July 14, 2010
But that crappy bleach job is pretty amusing.
posted by bwg at 6:11 PM on July 14, 2010
So if you look her up on Facebook, you get pictures of her this and this. You also get moments like this one which, taken with the Youtube video, really just confuses me. Either that or maybe there's an extra, cathartic edge to the video that you get from someone who actually despairs over the point of her Masters. Or maybe she really is just truly happy to be doing what she is and is attempting to make up for
BAH BACK TO MY STUDIES
posted by dubusadus at 6:29 PM on July 14, 2010
BAH BACK TO MY STUDIES
posted by dubusadus at 6:29 PM on July 14, 2010
Good delivery, thanks for the yucks!
posted by From Bklyn at 6:56 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by From Bklyn at 6:56 PM on July 14, 2010
So if you look her up on Facebook, you get pictures of her this and this. You also get moments like this one which, taken with the Youtube video, really just confuses me.
Basically, it's all about self-promotion. To what end, I'm not really sure, but I hope she makes it, because hey, why not.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:02 PM on July 14, 2010
Basically, it's all about self-promotion. To what end, I'm not really sure, but I hope she makes it, because hey, why not.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:02 PM on July 14, 2010
Okay, that sounded dismissive, so let me go on:
She's evidently actually a go-go dancer/model in real life, and is both exploiting that (see the workout video, which is ostensibly a joke about her low-impact workout routine but mostly, from my own Male Gaze POV [which may be biased!] a showcase for her to show off how toned she is while humping her couch in a bra and panties) and goofing on it in order to do...something? I guess make a name for herself, as...um...a kind of funny hot girl? I'm not going to get into whether anyone would care about the funny if she weren't also hot, because she's hot in actuality and so hypotheticals don't really matter. I guess what I'm saying is that she's used her hotness as a job asset thus far, and is using it now, but getting anywhere is hard as hell for anyone, and anyway if Jason Stackhouse has taught me anything it's that looking all ripped is really, really a lot of work. So! If that's the thing she's got, then I say go for it.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:31 PM on July 14, 2010
She's evidently actually a go-go dancer/model in real life, and is both exploiting that (see the workout video, which is ostensibly a joke about her low-impact workout routine but mostly, from my own Male Gaze POV [which may be biased!] a showcase for her to show off how toned she is while humping her couch in a bra and panties) and goofing on it in order to do...something? I guess make a name for herself, as...um...a kind of funny hot girl? I'm not going to get into whether anyone would care about the funny if she weren't also hot, because she's hot in actuality and so hypotheticals don't really matter. I guess what I'm saying is that she's used her hotness as a job asset thus far, and is using it now, but getting anywhere is hard as hell for anyone, and anyway if Jason Stackhouse has taught me anything it's that looking all ripped is really, really a lot of work. So! If that's the thing she's got, then I say go for it.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:31 PM on July 14, 2010
I actually thought her eyes (pre makeup) looked really cool. Like anime huge eyes. Is it the invisible eyebrows?
Actually, perhaps just her left eye. It does look wider than her right.
posted by jacalata at 7:35 PM on July 14, 2010
Actually, perhaps just her left eye. It does look wider than her right.
posted by jacalata at 7:35 PM on July 14, 2010
She looks just as scary, awful and garish in most of her Facebook and Model Mayhem photos. She looks better in the glasses.
posted by raysmj at 9:46 PM on July 14, 2010
posted by raysmj at 9:46 PM on July 14, 2010
This exact style was common amongst young ladies from high school age up through college and beyond when I was living in San Diego four years ago.
Yup, it's pretty popular in Australia too. Bleached-to-death hair with heavy, dark eye makeup isn't an unusual style restricted to just one corner of the world. Women who have been taught to base their self-esteem on male approval often choose this look, and it's easy to achieve.
posted by harriet vane at 3:39 AM on July 15, 2010
Yup, it's pretty popular in Australia too. Bleached-to-death hair with heavy, dark eye makeup isn't an unusual style restricted to just one corner of the world. Women who have been taught to base their self-esteem on male approval often choose this look, and it's easy to achieve.
posted by harriet vane at 3:39 AM on July 15, 2010
I think it's all the better if she is in fact making fun of what she actually needs to go through to work as a go-go dancer model person.
posted by chunking express at 6:50 AM on July 15, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by chunking express at 6:50 AM on July 15, 2010 [3 favorites]
Then she looks scary, awful and garish.
Purely my own opinion, but without makeup, she's not attractive. She looks fine, but she's not appealing. Her eyebrows were skinnied/thinned out, half moons on her face, and she looked very plain, and she looked about 14 years old. Though she looks cartoonish afterwards, she looks pretty afterwards, even if she looks like an adult film star.
posted by anniecat at 6:53 AM on July 15, 2010
Purely my own opinion, but without makeup, she's not attractive. She looks fine, but she's not appealing. Her eyebrows were skinnied/thinned out, half moons on her face, and she looked very plain, and she looked about 14 years old. Though she looks cartoonish afterwards, she looks pretty afterwards, even if she looks like an adult film star.
posted by anniecat at 6:53 AM on July 15, 2010
Purely my own opinion, but without makeup, she's not attractive. She looks fine, but she's not appealing. Her eyebrows were skinnied/thinned out, half moons on her face, and she looked very plain, and she looked about 14 years old. Though she looks cartoonish afterwards, she looks pretty afterwards, even if she looks like an adult film star.
Are you serious? Man, despair is a terrible thing to feel right before lunch.
posted by lydhre at 8:17 AM on July 15, 2010 [3 favorites]
Are you serious? Man, despair is a terrible thing to feel right before lunch.
posted by lydhre at 8:17 AM on July 15, 2010 [3 favorites]
People throw around words like pretty like they don't even mean anything.
Newsradio: Pretty vs. Cute
posted by smackfu at 8:20 AM on July 15, 2010 [2 favorites]
Newsradio: Pretty vs. Cute
posted by smackfu at 8:20 AM on July 15, 2010 [2 favorites]
Plus her eyes are a little widespaced.
Mind you, I have a thing for jolie laide. But even more than that, for funny.
posted by IndigoJones at 11:37 AM on July 15, 2010
Mind you, I have a thing for jolie laide. But even more than that, for funny.
posted by IndigoJones at 11:37 AM on July 15, 2010
I kept wondering, when did all the white girls decide to dye their hair that shade of blonde? Was it on the internet? Did their friends tell them to do it?
What I want to know is why all heteronormative white girls all smell the same. What is that? It's like someone mandated that they all bathe in Clinique's Happy or Angel by Victoria's Secret or whatever that SMELL is. They travel in herds and all smell like plastic.
I hope their target demographic finds this appealing, because I sure don't.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:13 PM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]
What I want to know is why all heteronormative white girls all smell the same. What is that? It's like someone mandated that they all bathe in Clinique's Happy or Angel by Victoria's Secret or whatever that SMELL is. They travel in herds and all smell like plastic.
I hope their target demographic finds this appealing, because I sure don't.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:13 PM on July 15, 2010 [1 favorite]
Whatever else one may say, both "human optical illusion" and the fact that she wore this shirt -- the radioactive elements glow in the dark! -- wins her points from me.
posted by Amanojaku at 1:27 PM on July 15, 2010
posted by Amanojaku at 1:27 PM on July 15, 2010
I have yet to see an actual prostitute that looks like that (I browse the St. Paul Prostitution site once in a while). I think she means trashy and slutty, which is not actually a marker for attractiveness, but for sexual availability.
Astro Zombie, I've seen actual prostitutes IRL. Most of them actually try to look pretty normal, to escape glaring attention from the police (a sort of social camouflage - if they don't look whorish, the local business owners & residents are more likely to look the other way, instead of keeping tabs on them & calling Vice on speed dial).
OTOH, in Washington DC, ... EXACTLY like the stereotypes off of old Night Court reruns.
Go figure.
posted by IAmBroom at 4:56 PM on July 15, 2010
Astro Zombie, I've seen actual prostitutes IRL. Most of them actually try to look pretty normal, to escape glaring attention from the police (a sort of social camouflage - if they don't look whorish, the local business owners & residents are more likely to look the other way, instead of keeping tabs on them & calling Vice on speed dial).
OTOH, in Washington DC, ... EXACTLY like the stereotypes off of old Night Court reruns.
Go figure.
posted by IAmBroom at 4:56 PM on July 15, 2010
Good LORD why do girls do that
it will never bag them a nice sweet guy like tehloki
posted by tehloki at 5:16 PM on July 15, 2010
it will never bag them a nice sweet guy like tehloki
posted by tehloki at 5:16 PM on July 15, 2010
I still can't think of a level on which "looks like a whore" is funny, but maybe that's just me.
You're not OT III yet?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 12:56 AM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
You're not OT III yet?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 12:56 AM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
Purely my own opinion, but without makeup, she's not attractive. She looks fine, but she's not appealing.
I agree with anniecat.
Yes she is young and very thin, which in America counts for 90% of being "hot".
But I think everyone falling all over themselves trying to proclaim her beauty "before" are championing an idea, not her actual appearance. I understand that notion, I encourage my wife to go without makeup often because she doesn't need it.
I'm not saying she looks BETTER afterwards, as obviously this is a caricature. But she is rather plain and ordinary "before". She also does look VERY young "before", and that probably plays into it as well, which I know squicks some people out but it's just evolutionary biology at work.
Further, the pics of her in her dancing outfit are definitely attractive. But, referencing above, I'm probably going to find most young skinny girls dancing provocatively to be attractive. I'm not sure the eye shadow plays into it.
Frankly I am drawn to her sense of humor over either the "before" or "after" appearance. I like her moxie.
posted by discountfortunecookie at 8:04 AM on July 16, 2010
I agree with anniecat.
Yes she is young and very thin, which in America counts for 90% of being "hot".
But I think everyone falling all over themselves trying to proclaim her beauty "before" are championing an idea, not her actual appearance. I understand that notion, I encourage my wife to go without makeup often because she doesn't need it.
I'm not saying she looks BETTER afterwards, as obviously this is a caricature. But she is rather plain and ordinary "before". She also does look VERY young "before", and that probably plays into it as well, which I know squicks some people out but it's just evolutionary biology at work.
Further, the pics of her in her dancing outfit are definitely attractive. But, referencing above, I'm probably going to find most young skinny girls dancing provocatively to be attractive. I'm not sure the eye shadow plays into it.
Frankly I am drawn to her sense of humor over either the "before" or "after" appearance. I like her moxie.
posted by discountfortunecookie at 8:04 AM on July 16, 2010
What I want to know is why all heteronormative white girls all smell the same.
Seriously? I mean...
Seriously?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:25 AM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
Seriously? I mean...
Seriously?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:25 AM on July 16, 2010 [1 favorite]
What I want to know is why all heteronormative white girls all smell the same?
IFF, mostly. There's a limited number of smell compounds that get put into most unguents, shampoos, soaps, creams, jells, even perfumes, so what you're experiencing is a cloud of this crap as the girls tend to swim in the same pools of liquid. Food too, which is why, say, a real vanilla bean as opposed to artificial vanillin is such a revelation for so many people
At a guess.
posted by IndigoJones at 10:20 AM on July 16, 2010 [2 favorites]
IFF, mostly. There's a limited number of smell compounds that get put into most unguents, shampoos, soaps, creams, jells, even perfumes, so what you're experiencing is a cloud of this crap as the girls tend to swim in the same pools of liquid. Food too, which is why, say, a real vanilla bean as opposed to artificial vanillin is such a revelation for so many people
At a guess.
posted by IndigoJones at 10:20 AM on July 16, 2010 [2 favorites]
Really tempted to get deeper into this (heh,) but also really aware that we're near the ends of the rails.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2010
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2010
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