Buy me for $2,595,030.00

July 31, 2001 1:29 PM

Buy me for $2,595,030.00 So I guess I fit on the "bargain" category... or what? Looks like "money changes everything" isn't just a Cyndi Lauper song title anymore.
posted by betobeto (49 comments total)

As a unemployed new college grad I'm only worth $1.7 million, but I would settle for $1.5 mill from a woman worth over $2.5 mill.
posted by wsfinkel at 1:40 PM on July 31, 2001

$2,046,960.00.

And I will take a check, so long as you have two forms of ID.
posted by UncleFes at 1:41 PM on July 31, 2001

I am worth $2,543,406.00. I went back and disovered that if I lost 35 lbs, I would be worth several hundred thousand more, but if I made $100 000 a year more than I do now, that only boosts my worth by about $50 000. How warped is that?
posted by kristin at 1:46 PM on July 31, 2001

This is one of the most ingenious ways that I have ever seen to get people to hand over very sensitive demographic information for free. Marketing genius. Unbelievable.

Check out their privacy policy:

We use your IP address to help diagnose problems with our server, and to administer our Web site. Your IP address is used to help identify you and to gather broad demographic information.

Our site's surveys require users to give us contact information (like email address) and demographic information (like their age or education level). The customer's contact information is used to contact the visitor when necessary. We may display on our web sites information about our users which is not individually identifiable, for example their height, weight or income level. Users may opt-out of receiving future mailings; see the choice/opt-out section below. Demographic and profile data is also collected at our site. We use this data to tailor the visitor's experience at our site, showing them content that we think they might be interested in, and displaying the content according to their preferences. This information is shared with advertisers on an aggregate basis.

In short, we keep your info and we do whatever we darn well feel like with it. Awesome.
posted by nicolotesla at 1:46 PM on July 31, 2001

$1,720,740.00. located in the "last chance bin" on your way to checkout.
posted by adampsyche at 1:47 PM on July 31, 2001

Think of all the great personal info they now have associated with your IP address. Probably dropped a cookie in the jar too.
posted by skallas at 1:47 PM on July 31, 2001

Hmm... you give all that information, including your e-mail address and a rating of how often you visit porn sites, and you don't smell any kind of rat at all?
posted by pascal at 1:47 PM on July 31, 2001

disovered that if I lost 35 lbs, I would be worth several hundred thousand more, but if I made $100 000 a year more than I do now, that only boosts my worth by about $50 000

you fat pig!
posted by quonsar at 1:47 PM on July 31, 2001

$2,155,980.00

PayPal is accepted. Thank you and goodnight.
posted by briank at 1:48 PM on July 31, 2001

Beaten to the punch. Oh well, great minds think alike I guess.
posted by pascal at 1:48 PM on July 31, 2001

You know you can always visit these sites using anonymizer and a yahoo email addie. I did. :)
posted by kristin at 1:58 PM on July 31, 2001

$2,067,298.00
posted by starvingartist at 2:01 PM on July 31, 2001

$2,316,530.00 (and I got that result sent to my anonymized Hotmail account. Muhaha)
posted by dagny at 2:17 PM on July 31, 2001

$2,209,730.00. Used a junk hotmail address and I'm on dialup so the IP won't do 'em any good. I haven't checked for a cookie, but that's what Cookie Wall is for.
posted by dogwelder at 2:20 PM on July 31, 2001

And women are worth, on average, 88 cents for every $1 of a man's worth. Figures.

If you gave your email address, you might want to go back and opt-out.

'Cause I agree that this is a potentially horrifying marketing scam.
posted by acridrabbit at 2:21 PM on July 31, 2001

I must be worthless, being that I don't reside in either the US or Canada.....

*sigh*
posted by metaxa at 2:22 PM on July 31, 2001

This worth is entirely artificial. I'd be much more interested in the actual market price for a given individual, ie. how much someone would actually be willing to pay to own that person.
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:24 PM on July 31, 2001

$2,162,938.00. Or just 108,201 monthly installments of just $19.99.
posted by inviolable at 2:31 PM on July 31, 2001

Hmph. A 200 IQ and a 14" penis just doesn't go as far as it used to these days...
posted by fooljay at 2:32 PM on July 31, 2001

$2,809,818.00
posted by bshort at 2:38 PM on July 31, 2001

$2,131,906.00. It's gotta be because of the hypoglycemia. Dammit!

acidrabbit: thanks for the opt-out link.
posted by jennaratrix at 2:55 PM on July 31, 2001

$1,960,760.00.

I deliberately ran it a few times with different races selected.. same price each time. Why bother asking the question?
posted by wackybrit at 3:00 PM on July 31, 2001

"why bother" on the race question...?

marketing (see above)
posted by mapalm at 3:02 PM on July 31, 2001

$2.75. AND I come with severe mental disorders. Anyone?
posted by bradth27 at 3:06 PM on July 31, 2001

Hmm, giving demo data and an e-mail address to "humanforsale.com". Is it a scam, or performance art?
posted by dchase at 3:08 PM on July 31, 2001

No, the interface was decent. It can't be art.
posted by Ptrin at 3:10 PM on July 31, 2001

There's an article in the latest issue of Harpers detailing how insurance adjusters negotiate a person's worth in determining a settlement for wrongful death suits. Should you die horrendously by the neglect of some soulless corporation your worth will be decided on basically the same scale that determined your worth in high school. Tall white men with beautiful but not too beautiful wives, the average couple kids, suburban addresses and respectable titles on the business cards are worth the most. Athletic, outdoorsy, extroverted people are worth considerably more than bookish introverted people. Any scandal, strange obsessions or hobbies will seriously undermine your value as a human being.
posted by TimTypeZed at 3:19 PM on July 31, 2001

FYI - some digging I've done *does* connect this back to a marketing firm.

I'm still working out the details, but I can post them when they're organized, if you like.
posted by whatnotever at 3:25 PM on July 31, 2001

First, I have to agree. This is one of the greatest marketing ideas ever.

Looks like the domain is owned by somebody that claims his company name is Mindslurp.

Side note and really the point of the post, I love that when you go to Mindslurp.com, their privacy policy comes back 404.

By the way, it doesn't look like the same company owns both sights. The owner of Mindslurp.com did deliberately provide bogus information though, so there's no guarantee they aren't the same.
posted by willnot at 3:38 PM on July 31, 2001

The privacy policy on this site doesn't seem any more or less invasive than any I've ever seen on a joke "poll" site (thespark.com, for instance). All sites keep track of IP addresses to figure out unique visits each day. And "aggregate" information just lets them put up silly jokes like the average penis size. Lighten up, people: just use a hotmail account or something, go back when you're done and Opt-Out, and delete their cookie if they leave one.
posted by bcwinters at 3:43 PM on July 31, 2001

Actually, willnot, you have to dig a lot more than that. And they do link back to the same company.

Basically, it looks like humanforsale.com is run by Carstens Amaral, essentially a web-marketing firm. Oh, and Ryan Fox, who registered humanforsale.com, looks to be the same person as Ryan Carstens... But maybe I'm reading too much into things. :-)

And yeah, bcwinters, it's not a big deal, but it's nice to know where the information might be going.
posted by whatnotever at 3:50 PM on July 31, 2001

I was only worth 2,714,910.00

Hopefully, with all these emails, they'll recoup the costs by selling a zillion "1,000,000 working emails on a CDROM!" to spammers.
posted by mathowie at 4:46 PM on July 31, 2001

$1,507,254.00, according to the marketing spam sent directly to my e-mail box for quizzes, questionnaires and spam. Then I immediately opted out. Betcha I still get (extra) spam at the spamaddy.
posted by headspace at 4:51 PM on July 31, 2001

$1,877,782.00...

Is it because I live in Ontario, or is this figure in Canadian dollars?
posted by galachef55 at 4:53 PM on July 31, 2001

12 Pesos. Damn, that's cold.
posted by Optamystic at 5:05 PM on July 31, 2001

a dollar threeightynine. imagine the scores from this info if even somewhat valid. probably russian mob. "lev, louk ah diz one, shez got three breast and time share in key biscane"
posted by clavdivs at 5:21 PM on July 31, 2001

You are worth exactly: $2,487,292.00 I like the EXACTLY bit. that way i don't have to try and get a second opinion.

my first score was lower, but then i popped over to the handy free iqtest online and found i was higher than my estimate, and that bumped up my "worth" quite a bit. Well, i also knocked 5 lbs off of my weight, added another level of income and lied about cavaties. 'cause they are filled, they shouldn't count, they should--in fact--count as an tenant improvement or something....

Good thing i have all of these great online tests and such to give me self esteem. Next i should take a Purtiy Test so i can feel like i'm a sexy bastard who doesn't spend all his time in front of a computer.

oh wait, i am a sexy bastard who doesn't spend all his time in front of a computer. hurray!
posted by th3ph17 at 6:06 PM on July 31, 2001

A mere $1,839,240.00. *sigh*
posted by kindall at 6:13 PM on July 31, 2001

$2,072,860.00
Did they post how these "worth" are calculated based on the questionnaire?
posted by tamim at 6:15 PM on July 31, 2001

$1,828,560.00

:o(
posted by lotsofno at 6:19 PM on July 31, 2001

lol... that IQ test is complete bunk. 152? Please. I eat standardized tests for breakfast, and this is no exception.

I'm still waiting for the test that will accurately peg me at "average."
posted by Ptrin at 6:39 PM on July 31, 2001

but doesn't scoring 152 make you want to pay the $10 to see the full analysis? heh. I thought it was a bit fishy also, but i wanted something--you know--Offical, so i wouldn't have to lie like all they 200IQ people on the most expensive list. I'll put it on my biz-cards now:

thephil
estimated worth $2.4 million
151 IQ
cavaties, None.
Don't call me, I'll call you.
posted by th3ph17 at 6:59 PM on July 31, 2001

Well, I've been away a while sulking and now I'm back for one post only to let you all know I'm worth $2,060,170.00

Still, it doesn't make up for the fact that I lost my job last week and I have been dumped on the wrong side of the planet with no ticket home...

Bollocks.

See you all again when I have realised some of my inherrant capital.

Anyone want to buy a limb or two? I'll take $1,000,000 for an arm and a leg. A fair price, I feel, for a figure of speech
posted by davehat at 8:40 PM on July 31, 2001

One question, seriously. Is this supposed to be one's earning potential in one's lifetime? Or what? I'm really curious. Is this just our culture's material fixation, that we must assign material value to a person?

I also must point out that no one has justified or countered the fact that women are "valued" less in this site's estimation.

If I read our culture right, these days, women being bought and sold command a higher price than do men. So if this were really about people for sale, I'd think their algorithms might be different.

Unless they're talking about earning potential.
posted by acridrabbit at 8:58 PM on July 31, 2001

But what is our physical body worth? I mean, thee's gotta be minerals and stuff, right? Who wants mining rights on me?

...

Well, there's a question that can be taken horribly wrong...
posted by solistrato at 9:15 PM on July 31, 2001

There's an article in the August issue of Harper's called "Working Stiffs: The necessary parasites of capitalism," about how insurance adjustors calculate a person's worth after his/her death. [sorry, no link to the article] Apparently things like going to church, calling your parents regularly, and being athletic or outdoorsy get you big points in the end. But people who'd rather read than go rock-climbing aren't worth very much. Very interesting article.
posted by smich at 11:59 PM on July 31, 2001

lol... that IQ test is complete bunk

Hrmmm - that online IQtest thing did bump me up 9 points (to a gratifyingly elevated number - I'd like to thank the Academy...) from my results way back when I was a problem child, and I have ingested a lot of harmful substances since then....

On second though, I think I will go with the "I's'a gettin suh-marter!" theory. Compensates somewhat for the hairy ears and incipient man-boobs.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:14 AM on August 1, 2001

People, don't try to read into this thing. It's a clever spammer's email-harvester. Just like that "put your face close to the monitor and we will display your face" one (which then shows you a picture of a monkey... Nothing more...

When will people learn?
posted by fooljay at 1:34 AM on August 1, 2001

165 on the IQ test, same score I got on the same test a couple of years ago. What a load of bs...

On a reassuring note (perhaps), they claim to not find your info after you opt out. Of course, that's no guarantee that they actually deleted it.

I used my full name, provided my home address and phone number, and used my work email account to get the results. See, I told you that IQ test was bunk. (j/k - did it all anonymously).

I was worth over $2MM, but I can't recall the exact number. More spam for one of my many junk hotmail accounts.
posted by syzygy at 2:32 PM on August 3, 2001