They called me a child pornographer

July 22, 2010 6:03 AM

They called me a child pornographer. A journalist brings a disposable camera to a family camping trip, takes naked pictures of his kids, and gets reported to the police by an Eckerd drugstore photo lab employee.
posted by swift (97 comments total)

OK this happened a few years ago, but where has this guy been for the last fifteen years?

Has it not been established that if you want to take innocent photos of your own naked children, you use a digital camera!

No, but seriously... this has been happening since I was a kid. My parents received at least some dodgy looks when getting some film developed, that involved pictures of me as a very young child, naked with a goat in the garden. That was over 20 years ago!
posted by opsin at 6:07 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

...naked with a goat in the garden.

Ahhh, good times. Good times.
posted by Floydd at 6:10 AM on July 22, 2010 [40 favorites]

Previously.
posted by ColdChef at 6:10 AM on July 22, 2010

...pictures of me as a very young child, naked with a goat in the garden. That was over 20 years ago!

I'm thinking of forwarding this comment to Child Protective Services (Time Travel Division).
posted by DU at 6:12 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Yeah but how old was the goat?
posted by spicynuts at 6:13 AM on July 22, 2010 [17 favorites]

3/4s of responses so far are about the goat? Knew I could steal this thread.
posted by opsin at 6:17 AM on July 22, 2010 [7 favorites]

This is a pretty old story, they were never charged and all that happened was that protective services did a routine investigation, interviewed the children and did a home inspection. I think there was some unprofessionalism in floating the idea of charging them with "child endangerment" for standing near a fire on a camping trip, though.
posted by delmoi at 6:18 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I remember this being an issue when I was 5 and got the chickenpox with my younger brother (who got them from Danny Rosenbaum A.K.A. "Bringer of the Plague"--really, he took out half the school). I was pretty lucky, but my brother got it bad, and even had pox down his throat.

My mom wanted to take pictures for posterity (of course this was before digital cameras), and I remember there being a big to-do over what we should wear in the pictures. She wanted to capture as much of the chickenpox coverage as possible, but we obviously couldn't be naked or the folks at (yes) Eckerd "would think she and dad were taking bad pictures" of us. So I wore a matching tank top and underwear shorts, and I think my brother wore swim trunks with the legs rolled up.

There was also confusion over what we should do with our faces. We were both cranky and upset because of the chickenpox...but wouldn't a sad face suggest that we were having the pictures taken against our will? So we should smile! Smile big! Oh wait, but then would we be posing? Would that be suspect? I think it turned out with me having some huge, unnatural (toothless) grin and my brother just looking confused beyond all get out.

All for chickenpox.

And don't get me started on bathtub photos. We always had to make sure there were enough suds to cover all of our bits and pieces. Kind of ruined the moments.
posted by phunniemee at 6:20 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Wasn't this a Perry Bible Fellowship strip?
posted by danb at 6:20 AM on July 22, 2010 [4 favorites]

Four-year-old outrage filter?
posted by smackfu at 6:22 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Yeah but how old was the goat?

Kids, dude.
posted by mhoye at 6:24 AM on July 22, 2010 [29 favorites]

This is a pretty old story

Yeah, it is. 2006? I still agree with opsin, though. Don't get film of your naked children developed at a convenience store. It's simple.

Honestly I don't understand why people want pictures of their naked kids anyway, except perhaps to embarrass them in the future when they are dating.
posted by graventy at 6:26 AM on July 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

Where is this via? I noticed this has been one of the top hits at Salon for the last few days, which seemed odd to me since it made the rounds pretty publicly when it came out 4 years ago. Did someone link it from their blog to resurrect it from the archives?
posted by availablelight at 6:28 AM on July 22, 2010

Wasn't this a Perry Bible Fellowship strip?

Indeed.
posted by echo target at 6:28 AM on July 22, 2010

Yeah but how old was the goat?

Kids, dude.

I was trying to remember if it would have been Kid Cutlet, who went around at my birthday party headbutting all my friends, or whether my being as young as I was would make it before he was born.

Yes, that's right. Kid Cutlet.
posted by opsin at 6:28 AM on July 22, 2010

Just to clarify, I thought this was an article from a few days ago. And further, I'm an idiot.
posted by swift at 6:28 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Honestly I don't understand why people want pictures of their naked kids anyway, except perhaps to embarrass them in the future when they are dating.

Well, there's that. But also, naked babies are adorable. There's a certain age where it switches from adorable to "Umm, ok, that child should probably have some clothes on" but I'm not sure where that boundary is yet (my son is only 14 months old, and still cute as a button in the tub).
posted by antifuse at 6:35 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

naked with a goat in the garden

Ah, two who have not yet tasted the nectar of Shaitan!
posted by grubi at 6:37 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Because of this child porn hype I can't even discuss professional intersections with this kind of material that people I know have. Too risky.
posted by kalessin at 6:38 AM on July 22, 2010

Honestly I don't understand why people want pictures of their naked kids anyway...

Yeah, uhm.. You want pictures of your kids when they're being cute and all, but the things is, kids being kids, they tend to get naked as often as possible. There's entire roll of 8mm film of me eating ice-cream, wobbling around in the garden picking strawberries into a little cup, jumping on the couch, finger painting, taking my tricycle for a spin in the living room... At the end of that roll my mom comes running with a tea-towel that she ties around me as a makeshift dress, she wanted to have some footage of me not naked. (Dad used to tease me and call me a nudist. I was 2 years old).
posted by dabitch at 6:42 AM on July 22, 2010 [8 favorites]

the kids should have been removed from the household because of the Juicy Juice
posted by beukeboom at 6:43 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yeah but how old was the goat?

Dude, that's just way, way too easy. Come on.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:49 AM on July 22, 2010

In general, I think it's okay for photo developers to be cautious, as long as no one is actually charged with anything for innocent photos.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 6:51 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

the kids should have been removed from the household because of the Juicy Juice

You might think that, but I recently checked the label on a bottle of Juicy Juice out of curiosity. Turns out they're all 100% juice blends with no added sugar. Surprising, eh?
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:55 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

You might think that, but I recently checked the label on a bottle of Juicy Juice out of curiosity. Turns out they're all 100% juice blends with no added sugar. Surprising, eh?

PEPSI JUICE
posted by grubi at 7:02 AM on July 22, 2010

Dude, that's just way, way too easy. Come on.

Yeah, well, let's see you slam dunk it then.
posted by spicynuts at 7:06 AM on July 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

the kids should have been removed from the household because of the Juicy Juice

You might think that, but I recently checked the label on a bottle of Juicy Juice out of curiosity. Turns out they're all 100% juice blends with no added sugar. Surprising, eh?

I don't want to derail, but YEAH, what's been up with all the juice hate lately? I don't remember everywhere I've seen it, but I've counted probably 5 separate instances of juice-is-evil here on metafilter in the last two weeks.

Sure, "fruit drink" is pretty awful stuff, but what could possibly be wrong with drinking something that's 100% juice with no added sugar? Any juice haters care to weigh in?
posted by phunniemee at 7:07 AM on July 22, 2010

- Yeah but how old was the goat?

- Dude, that's just way, way too easy. Come on.

- Yeah, well, let's see you slam dunk it then.

Ooh! Lemme try!

(Okay, say it again.)

Yeah but how old was the goat?

He was only a kid.

Trumpet fanfare
posted by grubi at 7:09 AM on July 22, 2010 [6 favorites]

what could possibly be wrong with drinking something that's 100% juice with no added sugar?

"No added sugar" isn't the same as "no sugar". And juice is filled with sugar.
posted by grubi at 7:10 AM on July 22, 2010 [5 favorites]

Honestly I don't understand why people want pictures of their naked kids anyway, except perhaps to embarrass them in the future when they are dating.

posted by graventy at 9:26 AM on July 22


i hereby proclaim you Captain Obvious.

seriously, that's EXACTLY why i did it. i call it my Offspring Bribery Insurance :)
posted by liza at 7:11 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

they were never charged and all that happened was that protective services did a routine investigation

Yup, that's it. No crippling depression or living in fear for long periods of time or the lack of any sort of proper resolution from the state or any of the other things that you would have parsed by reading the whole thing. Way to relate to others.
posted by yerfatma at 7:11 AM on July 22, 2010 [11 favorites]

But...from the fruits, right? Sorry, honey, no apples for you, they have sugar in them? What? Am I totally misunderstanding juice science?
posted by phunniemee at 7:12 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sure, "fruit drink" is pretty awful stuff, but what could possibly be wrong with drinking something that's 100% juice with no added sugar? Any juice haters care to weigh in?

Because juice deserves its own entry on This Is Why You're Fat, despite masquerading as a health food?

posted by availablelight at 7:15 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Slightly unrelated: My mother in law posts to Flickr. She had posted a "bathtub" photo that she had taken of her daughters when they were 3 and 2 years old. Within a week there were 250 people who viewed the photo. She doesn't have too much traffic on her photos normally. She took the photos offline.

There are a LOT of creepy people out there.
posted by zerobyproxy at 7:17 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Knew I could steal this thread.

Nobody calls you Opsin the Skeptic, nor Opsin the Environmentalist, nor Opsin the Naysayer...

But you frolic naked with ONE goat...
posted by Rat Spatula at 7:19 AM on July 22, 2010 [9 favorites]

Turns out they're all 100% juice blends with no added sugar. Surprising, eh?

Yeah, but considering that concentrated grape juice more or less IS pure sugar it's sort of a wash isn't it? Plus you throw away all the fiber, which modulates insulin response. It's not like "made of a fruit = instant wholesomeness".
posted by fontophilic at 7:19 AM on July 22, 2010 [5 favorites]

Has anyone, anywhere, actually been stupid enough to get real, honest-to-God child pornography developed at a photo lab?
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:20 AM on July 22, 2010

Look, can we at least agree that juice is better than soda and leave it at that? I apologize for the derail, even though beukeboom started it.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:23 AM on July 22, 2010

Coca-Cola: 3.25g of sugar per oz

Juicy Juice: 3.3g of sugar per oz
posted by nicwolff at 7:24 AM on July 22, 2010 [7 favorites]

So, no.
posted by nicwolff at 7:24 AM on July 22, 2010

Based on a couple of years checking groceries I think 90% of sales of Juicy Juice are to people buying it with WIC checks that require 100% Juice.
posted by empath at 7:25 AM on July 22, 2010

zerobyproxy, yeah, I was going to point out, if you have digital photos that you share, it can be even more of a problem.

Babies are nekkid a lot, and they are very cute of course. But even though I have a Flickr account so my relatives can see all the cute pics of my son, I didn't add the nekked ones. Because there are both creepy people and hyper, CPS-calling people out there and it's just not worth it.
posted by emjaybee at 7:26 AM on July 22, 2010

nic: there are other reasons to drink juice besides sugar content, you know.
posted by empath at 7:26 AM on July 22, 2010

Slightly unrelated: My mother in law posts to Flickr. She had posted a "bathtub" photo that she had taken of her daughters when they were 3 and 2 years old. Within a week there were 250 people who viewed the photo. She doesn't have too much traffic on her photos normally. She took the photos offline.

Yeah, other people have noticed some sketchy dynamics around kid pics on flickr as well (including users who don't post their own pics but "collect" otherwise unremarkable snapshots of preteens in their "favorites" page).
posted by availablelight at 7:27 AM on July 22, 2010 [4 favorites]

Look, can we at least agree that juice is better than soda and leave it at that?

No.

(And to the extent that it makes you feel like you/your kids are drinking something "healthy", as opposed to soda, it might be worse.)
posted by availablelight at 7:30 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yeah but how old was the goat?

He was only a kid.

Trumpet fanfare

Number one, someone already beat you to that. Number two, that is about as far from a slam dunk as there is. I would call that like, someone murdered the other team and you were standing under the basket and the ball rolled up to you and you picked it up and made a lay up. That's what I would call that.
posted by spicynuts at 7:35 AM on July 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

that is about as far from a slam dunk as there is. I would call that like, someone murdered the other team and you were standing under the basket and the ball rolled up to you and you picked it up and made a lay up. That's what I would call that.

Jeeeezus. Drama much?
posted by grubi at 7:42 AM on July 22, 2010

Ha..come on, this is a throw away post, we're just messin around in here.
posted by spicynuts at 7:47 AM on July 22, 2010

This thread has gone into some really stupid places.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:47 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

But...from the fruits, right? Sorry, honey, no apples for you, they have sugar in them? What? Am I totally misunderstanding juice science?

You're pretty much totally misunderstanding nutrition. So, yes. Apples have other stuff besides sugar, like fiber as pointed out above. Apple juice? Not so much.
posted by spicynuts at 7:50 AM on July 22, 2010

This thread has gone into some really stupid places

To be honest I thought it would have been gone by now.
posted by spicynuts at 7:50 AM on July 22, 2010

I'm really disappointed in the direction the comments in this thread went. I, for one, thought it was a very well written piece, and the content was incredible. It may have been written 4 years ago, but none of you knew about it.
posted by makethemost at 8:00 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm trying in vain to find a video that Juicy Juice had, at one point, on their youtube video.

Some kids were playing in a park, and one of them gets thirsty. So, he walks over to the water fountain and OHNOES WATER IS BAD, do you know how much germs?!?! [fake microscopic view with green fuzzy things squirming] Here mom, give him juicy juice, OR HE'LL DIE.

And yeah, I also read this salon article maybe a year ago? I thought it was linked through the blue, but maybe not. A harrowing experience for sure, but I also chalked much of his positive outcome to being an educated middle class white guy. Which isn't to say it wasn't a terrible situation. It was a terrible situation for which he had many advantages. A bit of the tone of the article was "But me? I'm so middle class". This situation was about the photos he took and developed, not who he was.
posted by fontophilic at 8:01 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Won't somebody think of THE VITAMINS! apple-juice derail
posted by dabitch at 8:06 AM on July 22, 2010

Fruit juice has a lot of vitamins and micro-nutrients, as well as anti-oxidents. I've seen studies that I can't find so you'll have to just take it on faith that 100% fruit juice doesn't have the same fattening affect as sodas.

On the other hand, juices are very useful for fattening goats.
posted by eye of newt at 8:08 AM on July 22, 2010

I'm sorry makethemost. I'll shape up.

I've read this article before, linked from metafilter - it was in the comments here. That thread went much better by the way.
posted by dabitch at 8:11 AM on July 22, 2010

Sure, "fruit drink" is pretty awful stuff, but what could possibly be wrong with drinking something that's 100% juice with no added sugar? Any juice haters care to weigh in?

The new Perfect Parenting Standards require that we not serve our children juice (or, if we must, we dilute it 50/50 with water) because it is essentially sugar-water and in that sense just as bad as soda pop, or maybe even worse because ignorant parents believe it's a healthy treat and let their kids drink it every day.
posted by not that girl at 8:13 AM on July 22, 2010

It may have been written 4 years ago, but none of you knew about it.

Wrong. This was widely discussed on Salon and made the rounds elsewhere (Digg, etc.) way back when.
posted by availablelight at 8:13 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

It may have been written 4 years ago, but none of you knew about it.

Seems to me if you read the comments pretty much everyone knew about it.
posted by spicynuts at 8:14 AM on July 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

Yeah, my reaction was, "Wow, again? And I didn't know anyone actually used disposable cameras anymore. Oh, not again, old story."
posted by smackfu at 8:21 AM on July 22, 2010

I worried about Child Protective Services when I posted this to flickr (she did it herself, I just shot it). And I was sure the ASPCA or someone would get upset about this (seriously he's not upset about the gun - he never saw one before - he just doesn't like having his picture taken).
posted by DaddyNewt at 8:22 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I was struck by how long it took the writer to lawyer up, but even when he eventually did talk about having a lawyer, it wasn't clear just when he did contact the lawyer. It's presented after describing weeks of interaction with the system, but there's no real indicator of just when the lawyer took their case. If it were me, that would be one of the first things I did, along with not talking to the cops.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:23 AM on July 22, 2010

Funny, mental floss just posted it today "via Metafilter".
posted by smackfu at 8:25 AM on July 22, 2010

Seems to me if you read the comments pretty much everyone knew about it.
Except the goat. But then, they're capricious that way....
posted by Floydd at 8:25 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Meh. Was news to me. Besides, it's never too soon to talk about the foibles of our society!!!
posted by makethemost at 8:30 AM on July 22, 2010

Ah, two who have not yet tasted the nectar of Shaitan!

Sorry, I couldn't let grubi's excellent Dragnet quote go unnoticed.
posted by total warfare frown at 8:31 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sorry, I couldn't let grubi's excellent Dragnet quote go unnoticed.

*bowing* I thank you.
posted by grubi at 8:44 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I was struck by how long it took the writer to lawyer up, but even when he eventually did talk about having a lawyer, it wasn't clear just when he did contact the lawyer.

I've often wondered this myself, or more accurately, wondered why people put up with the abuse that seems to follow Child Protective Services type offices.

Not having had direct contact with any thing of the sort, I wouldn't presume to know how to fix it, but it seems that a lot of the trouble comes from blindly following policies and procedures.

But then again, I suppose we probably only really hear about the screw-ups and false accusations and not the times that those polices actually saved a kid.
posted by madajb at 8:48 AM on July 22, 2010

Since this post doesn't seem to show any signs of dying - let's talk about how FUCKING ANNOYING it is to be treated as a child pornographer any time you get within 100 yards of a playground with an SLR camera. The *looks* I get when I bring my camera to the park with me when I go with my son... Wow. People need to understand that actual pedophiles are not that stupidly obvious.
posted by antifuse at 8:54 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

You wouldn't know that unless you were a pedophile.
posted by swift at 9:03 AM on July 22, 2010

One of the photos, an officer said, showed a child drinking beer.


BURN THEM ALL!!!!
posted by Saxon Kane at 9:35 AM on July 22, 2010

The new Perfect Parenting Standards require that we not serve our children juice (or, if we must, we dilute it 50/50 with water) because it is essentially sugar-water and in that sense just as bad as soda pop, or maybe even worse because ignorant parents believe it's a healthy treat and let their kids drink it every day.

I know it's easy (and mostly accurate) to bag on Perfect Parenting Standards and the whole invasive, you're-failing-your-kids culture of parenting today, but I'll say this on the juice issue:

For health reasons related to our second kid (who's just turned one), we switched our whole family over to a diet far, far more rigourous than we'd ever have even considered in the normal course of events. There's a whole laundry list of don'ts, but the diet is particularly nutty regarding sugar. No added sugar in anything ever, basically. Positively no fruit juice, even if we squeeze it ourselves from organic, fair-trade apples harvested up the block. Certain fruits very high in natural sugar (e.g. pineapple) are out. No honey. Etc. etc.

Basic aim is to smooth out the glycemic spikes. There are far graver health risks for our second kid from such spikes, but since we didn't want a situation where our first kid was dancing around our second kid in a couple years going, "I got a juice box! I got a juice box!," we switched the whole team. The results have been revelatory. Verging on revolutionary.

She's still a very active, very high-energy five-year-old, but we haven't seen a single tantrum or other such outburst since that wasn't directly connected to making an exception in the diet for a birthday party or somesuch. She listens better, plays with more enthusiasm, is generally less volatile. If it weren't for the persistent need to run a brush through her tangly hair every few days and her continued lobbying for a 47th viewing of Avatar, we'd be pretty much conflict-free.

I only mention this because I'd have totally been in the what's-wrong-with-juice? camp a few months ago. And although we still let her have a bit of juice from time to time, I can now see clearly how the at-least-it's-healthy argument gave us permission to push her into almost daily glycemic spikes and crashes. The "natural" volatility of the preschooler, we've learned, was substantially amplified (if not mostly caused) by sugar.

Her default drink (which she chooses herself over juice on occasion) is now club soda. It helps that it is her parents' default drink and has been since before she was born, but still we are smug-ass Perfect Parents on the subject of this beverage triumph.

But seriously, give it some thought. Little kids are by nature sugar junkies, with all the drama of binge, purge, peak and crash the term implies. It pays not to be too much of a pusher.
posted by gompa at 9:49 AM on July 22, 2010 [10 favorites]

Slightly unrelated: My mother in law posts to Flickr. She had posted a "bathtub" photo that she had taken of her daughters when they were 3 and 2 years old. Within a week there were 250 people who viewed the photo. She doesn't have too much traffic on her photos normally. She took the photos offline.

There are a LOT of creepy people out there.

Yep, this is why (and I've mentioned it before) we keep our digital family photos on a private server that once had a password for remote viewing, but now doesn't have even that. Kids get naked all the time, because that's what they do, and parents tend not to think anything of it, because it's their kids -- I mean, let's face it, we're talking about little creatures whose diapers we've changed and butts we've wiped, so the naked thing just doesn't sit in the forefront of the mind. That some family photos may catch 'em in their "natural habitat" shouldn't trigger an investigation unless the context of the photos is sketchy. And yeah, there are people out there I don't want having pictures of my kids, even if my kids are wearing parkas in the photos.
posted by davejay at 10:01 AM on July 22, 2010

Honestly I don't understand why people want pictures of their naked kids anyway, except perhaps to embarrass them in the future when they are dating.

Agreed. One of the greatest things my parents did for me was to never take pictures of me as a naked baby that were about me being a NAKED baby. Sure, there are pictures of me in my birthday suit but none of them show my junk or in any way emphasize the *nudity* aspect of my situation.

OTOH, my cousin's parents took a boatload of pictures of her... on the toilet. I kind of have to wonder how she feels about the fact that everyone in our extended family has seen these photos now that she's 30something. Even my fiancé has seen them, and he's yet to meet her. That's a fun introduction - "Oh yes! You're grapefruitmoon's cousin! I saw you peeing on the toilet!"
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:43 AM on July 22, 2010

here's a mindblower for you: my parents, like so many others, took pictures of their child (me) at some point when they're little and nude. I now own those pics. Is it possible for people to try to investigate me for nude childhood pics of MYSELF?
posted by grubi at 11:00 AM on July 22, 2010

I think there was some unprofessionalism in floating the idea of charging them with "child endangerment" for standing near a fire on a camping trip, though.

I can't help but notice that the goat incident saved the thread from 'wiener roast' jokes.
posted by rokusan at 11:07 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Okay, fine, I give up, juice is bad for kids, I will never give juice to any kid I raise, but I do not have any kids and do not plan to have any in the future, so the point is largely moot, but I am also a thirty-year-old man who is capable of making informed decisions about what he puts into his own body, and I will drink Juicy Juice if I feel like it and there is nothing you can do to stop me, so there.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:12 AM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Is it possible for people to try to investigate me for nude childhood pics of MYSELF?

Definitely, at least while you were still a minor. Although it looks like the courts aren't completely stupid.
posted by wildcrdj at 11:16 AM on July 22, 2010

(Yeah, those were teenagers, so it's a little different --- but they were still self-photos, which is just absurd)
posted by wildcrdj at 11:17 AM on July 22, 2010

Thirty-five years ago, I took some pictures at Busch Gardens of a couple of young elephants fooling around. You shoulda heard what Eckerd's called me.
posted by cookie-k at 11:33 AM on July 22, 2010

How young?
posted by graventy at 11:42 AM on July 22, 2010

Ok look, I can understand why you might want naked pictures of your children. What I can't understand is why you would hand them over to an anonymous stranger at a photo development place.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 11:59 AM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

My oldest son will not eat just about any soft fruit we have tried, and he can't chew apples because of his braces, so we give him apple juice. He's 17. So you can go ahead and call me a bad parent for another year until he's no longer a minor.
posted by misha at 12:04 PM on July 22, 2010

Slightly unrelated: My mother in law posts to Flickr. She had posted a "bathtub" photo that she had taken of her daughters when they were 3 and 2 years old. Within a week there were 250 people who viewed the photo. She doesn't have too much traffic on her photos normally. She took the photos offline.

Yeah, but you'll find that with anything. If there's a fetish for it, it will get lots of views (and "collectors" favorite-ing it). This includes breastfeeding pics, pics that include feet, and even pics of cute kids' faces.

Honestly I don't understand why people want pictures of their naked kids anyway, except perhaps to embarrass them in the future when they are dating.

What I don't understand is why it's fine for kids to be naked but not adults. If it weren't the law, I'd rarely wear clothes. I don't get why embarrassment would ever into it.
posted by coolguymichael at 12:13 PM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I have a solution: enforced nudity for all children under the age of 12.
posted by clvrmnky at 12:50 PM on July 22, 2010

What I don't understand is why it's fine for kids to be naked but not adults

The former isn't fine in public. It's allowed in certain spaces (the beach... but even then I've definitely heard parents complain that people told them to clothe their nude children), but you can't bring a naked baby into a grocery store.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:56 PM on July 22, 2010

My ex-husband worked in a photo lab for many years. He only had one instance where the photos were sketchy enough to warrant a mention to the customer picking them up. He spoke to the customer and carefully came to the conclusion that it was innocent. He did not call the police, but just advised the customer that these photos caused a second glance. Still, the fact that this had to happen is concerning on both sides.

I have an adorable picture of my little brother at age 10, in the bathtub with his two smaller cousins (ages 3 and 4 at the time) that I posted to my FB album, which is locked up tight with security settings. I ended up cropping half of my bro out of the picture because I was concerned that someone would think it was some kind of child porn (bro wasn't showing anything anyway and the littler ones were photographed from chest up).

My parents took a picture of me at age 5, walking around with nothing on at the Bahia Honda campsite in the Florida Keys in 1971. It's a photo of me and my naked backside, long blond braids hanging down my back, and I'm holding a fishing pole - off to fish au naturel. Not a care in the world. We all joked about that picture and my parents loved to show it to my boyfriends over the years. I thought about posting it but, sadly, had to think about how it would appear to the outside world.

It's sad that I even had to be concerned about either of those photos. And it's sad that my ex-husband had to even go there with a customer.
posted by mnb64 at 12:57 PM on July 22, 2010

I worked in photo labs all through college -- back when there were no digital cameras, and back when your anonymity alternative was taking a Polaroid. Anyway, our policy was "use your best judgment." We got lots of naked kid photos -- hell, we got lots of naked adult photos. If it seemed from the negatives that the pictures weren't too raunchy, we'd print them. We'd hang a sheet over the printer so that they weren't visible to the public as they dropped, but we'd print them. If, after they were printed, it looked like something inappropriate was taking place -- abuse or endangerment -- we'd call the police and they'd come take a look.

This happened a few times over the four years that I worked in photo labs. Some cases were clear cut. One time, these two dudes dropped off pictures of the two of them violating a drugged or passed-out woman with a beer bottle. I can still see the pictures, and they still give me shivers. The police were all over that one. They came back with a photo lineup for us, and we picked the one guy out. I hope they got him.

Another time, there was a 3- or 4-year-old boy dressed up in lingerie and wearing lipstick. Now, a kid in a dress and wearing lipstick -- not a big deal. No one would have freaked out over that. But when it's lingerie, and the kid's not wearing anything underneath, and you don't know who took the picture -- mommy, or Uncle Frank -- well, you just don't know. You don't want to get people into trouble if they're just having a lark and it's all harmless, but you also don't want to enable the family pedophile. It's a tough call, but you have to do what your gut tells you. We turned the photos over to the cops before they were picked up.

Turns out, it was the mom who took the pictures, and it wasn't a big deal. A bad/weird idea, but not child abuse. The detective came back to tell us, just in case she came in again, so that we didn't think anything bad about her. It all worked out, she didn't get in trouble, and we didn't have to worry about whether we were helping someone do something bad to that kid.

Another problem, and one that the parent should have thought of in this case, is what furiousxgeorge said. I actually worked with a guy who got fired because he'd been keeping copies of all the naked pictures that came through the shop.

The guy in the old Salon piece may have been perfectly innocent of any ill intent, but he made a stupid decision. If you have half a brain, you don't let naked pictures of your kids sit unsecured in an Eckerd photo lab. Better just not to take them at all.

Another thing -- in some states, including California, photo lab employees are mandated reporters.
posted by mudpuppie at 1:01 PM on July 22, 2010 [4 favorites]

As far as the Juice thing goes, what's funny is that people freak out about the fructose in pop, but completely ignore the fact that fruit juices have tons of natural fructose.
posted by delmoi at 3:16 PM on July 22, 2010

Congratulations and welcome to the United Stasi of America.
Do your friends not think?

'Ah work a sixty minick pho-to machine, what I saw was filthy and that's all you need to know. Have a blessed day!'

Fool.
posted by nj_subgenius at 3:56 PM on July 22, 2010

Her default drink (which she chooses herself over juice on occasion) is now club soda.

I feel like I remember reading somewhere, wholly unsubstantiated, that carbonation prevents calcium absorption...
posted by goneill at 4:24 PM on July 22, 2010

Yes, yes, yes, everything is bad for kids. They grow up anyway. Mostly.

Although I have to admit our son would be happy to subsist on a bread-and-water diet if we let him.
posted by Jimbob at 4:53 PM on July 22, 2010

*clears web history*
posted by DZack at 8:14 PM on July 22, 2010

Many moons ago I was sitting on the floor taking photos of my new kitten, using one of those disposable cameras whose film had to be developed. I was wearing a t-shirt and no pants or shorts, and the kitten was sitting inside the triangle of my crossed legs. When I got the photos back from the drugstore (another national chain) I wondered why most of the shots of the kitten were missing but I didn't pursue it. Years later someone made a very pointed remark to me about an Oprah show they'd seen which included a segment on bestiality. I responded dismissively at the time but later realized that the remark may have been related to those disappeared photos of me with the kitten. I now only use a digital camera and still get disgusted at the thought that someone assumed something untoward about those innocent photos. I mean, really? With a cat? DO NOT WANT.

*clears web history*

Yeah, I'm a little nervous about posting in this thread. Fie on you, Google!
posted by fuse theorem at 9:10 PM on July 22, 2010

Finally, I took a photo of everyone, as was our camping tradition, peeing on the ashes of the fire to put it out for the last time.

Absolutely never do this. Not the photographing, the peeing. Seems like a good idea you think: a natural, at-hand volume of fluid. The rub is this: any liquid hitting a hot enough surface will turn into steam. In this case pee steam. Having done this exactly once in my life I converted to an advocate of fire-peeing avoidance; I cannot therefore imagine how anyone would make a "tradition" of it.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 2:23 PM on July 23, 2010

I should add -- in case its missed -- that the odor is horrendous.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 2:27 PM on July 23, 2010

“My mother was charged with child pornography for taking pictures of me in the bathtub when I was 8 years old. She has not been allowed to photograph me naked since then. The prosacuter said she had committed a crime, but the only crime I saw was committed by him when he refused to agknoledge her right as mother to document her daughter’s development."

From The Century Project which was previously on the blue.
posted by dabitch at 8:54 AM on July 24, 2010