john cusack for president
July 31, 2001 10:26 PM   Subscribe

john cusack for president
Why Shouldn't John Cusack be President?

He made the tough decisions in Grosse Pointe Blank.
He couldn't be bought in Eight Men Out.
He's cooler than John Malkovich
And we like his politics so far.


interesting. what actor do you think should be president? and why?
posted by bwg (57 comments total)

 
I don't know, that Ronald Reagan had a couple of good movies...
posted by mrbula at 10:30 PM on July 31, 2001


people have been talking up arnold schwartzeneggar for some time.

doesn't a presidential candidate have to be born in america? i seem to recall hearing that once...
posted by bwg at 10:48 PM on July 31, 2001


That's why the passed an amendment in Demolition Man, to allow Schwarzenegger to be elected.
posted by kindall at 10:53 PM on July 31, 2001


Buzz Lightyear.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 10:54 PM on July 31, 2001


From US Constitution : Article II : Section 1

No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained to the age of thirty five years, and been fourteen Years a resident within the United States

So unless Arnold invents a time machine, goes back in time and gets naturalized during the Articles of Confederation years, he's out.
posted by alan at 10:55 PM on July 31, 2001


I guess that lets out Buzz Lightyear; he's only six years old.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 10:57 PM on July 31, 2001


You have to ask? Christopher freakin' Walken. Why? Because no other nation on the face of this planet would dare fuck with us. That's why.
posted by webmutant at 11:01 PM on July 31, 2001


William Shatner.

Oh, wait. Shatner's Canadian.

I guess I'll have to go with Harrison Ford.
posted by brownpau at 11:27 PM on July 31, 2001


Barney Rubble - What an actor!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:43 PM on July 31, 2001


Harrison Ford, of course. "Get off my plane!" If he can beat up Gary Oldman, Osama Bin Laden is no tough thing...
posted by owillis at 11:49 PM on July 31, 2001


David Hasselhoff.
posted by lia at 11:50 PM on July 31, 2001


hey america, stop living through your celebrities.
posted by will at 11:51 PM on July 31, 2001


martin sheen, obviously. although that scene from apocalypse now at the beginning where he dances around all naked and drugged-like might tarnish his reputation...
posted by pikachulolita at 11:52 PM on July 31, 2001


Martin Sheen.

Though he might not be able to live down his "Alf: the movie" incedent.
posted by Neale at 11:57 PM on July 31, 2001


What about Lance Henriksen?

He and the country wouldn't have to fear assassination [Aliens] and he'd know what evil doers were up to [Millennium].

Perhaps an easy compromise is Walker for President and Henriksen for VP!
posted by X-00 at 11:58 PM on July 31, 2001


So unless Arnold invents a time machine, goes back in time and gets naturalized during the Articles of Confederation years, he's out.

Hardly necessary. That part of the Constitution is not immune to amendment. It's unlikely in the extreme, of course, but it's at least possible.
posted by kindall at 12:12 AM on August 1, 2001


I'd just like to know when it was decided that John Cusack is cooler than John Malkovich.
posted by crustbuster at 12:33 AM on August 1, 2001


God, America desperately needs it's own Brass Eye...
posted by salmacis at 12:39 AM on August 1, 2001


Clint Eastwood would be perfect. Libertarian, and cool.
posted by dagny at 1:19 AM on August 1, 2001


True, John Cusack is very very cool, but as a write-in Prez, I think I'd have to go with Michael Jordan -- first president with a public approval rating of somewhere around 120%. Or maybe Thomas Pynchon -- if you thought Clinton's foreign policy was cryptic...
Then again, there's always Dangermouse and Penfold
posted by Bixby23 at 3:47 AM on August 1, 2001


Everyone suggested a man. Even the cartoon characters are male characters.
posted by pracowity at 5:09 AM on August 1, 2001


Jenna Jameson...whoa...
posted by Stretch at 5:24 AM on August 1, 2001


Matt Daemon: "Let's Declare today national 'ME' day!"

Hmmm.. that's weird, I can't think of any good 'celebrities', all the people I admire are dead of foreign. Even Jude Law. huh.
posted by tiaka at 5:28 AM on August 1, 2001


Daria 2004! If only for her policies on education...
posted by Freakho at 5:45 AM on August 1, 2001


Billy Bob Thorton. when speaking to the press, he can just go "mmmmmm-HHMMMMMMM!!!" like he did in Slingblade.
posted by adampsyche at 5:54 AM on August 1, 2001


Jack Nicholson................

Who put the straw in strawberry...........Nature did
Who put the freak in foreign policy........There ain't no freak in foreign policy.

Etc etc........Jack rocks. Joker smiles to all!
posted by ericdano at 5:59 AM on August 1, 2001


ha! jack nicholson!

can you imagine him standing in washington yelling out, "this town needs an enema!"
posted by bwg at 6:16 AM on August 1, 2001


From US Constitution : Article II : Section 1

No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States,

I'm not sure how this wording works.. but it seems to state that if you are a) a natural born citizen, or b) a citizen of the United States, you can be President. Doesn't that mean that Arnie could become President if he got citizenship? Depends on how the word 'or' is used I guess.
posted by wackybrit at 6:22 AM on August 1, 2001


> I'm not sure how this wording works...

You left out an important bit: "or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution..."

So you could have been a foreign-born US president back when the constitution was adopted, but not anymore.
posted by pracowity at 6:37 AM on August 1, 2001


No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States,

I'm not sure how this wording works.. but it seems to state that if you are a) a natural born citizen, or b) a citizen of the United States, you can be President. Doesn't that mean that Arnie could become President if he got citizenship? Depends on how the word 'or' is used I guess.


The full passage reads as follows:

No person except a natural born citizen, or a citizen of the United States, at the time of the adoption of this Constitution


You have to either have been born in the U.S. or a citizen of the U.S. in 1788.
posted by ljromanoff at 6:37 AM on August 1, 2001


I have had a serious theory for years, that Will Smith should become president. Now I'm no Fresh Prince-ophile, but the man has already conquered several forms of media, endearing him in the hearts of millions, and he's got that 'nice boy' image. In twenty years, he could win the office no contest. He could deliver the State of the Union address in verse and it could be sold as a single....
posted by gnutron at 6:48 AM on August 1, 2001


j.w. booth(crowd goes wild)
posted by clavdivs at 6:51 AM on August 1, 2001


I racked my poor brain for a suitable American-born woman, but Susan Sarandon was as close as I could get, what with Kate Hepburn in the hospital and all. How's Lauren Bacall doing these days? If foreign-born was an option, there were several grand dames I can think of from the merchant-ivory circuit that'd I'd love to see run the country in more genteel fashion that it has been so far...

that said, Clint Eastwood. Carmel didn't fall into the ocean while he was in charge, did it?
posted by christina at 7:00 AM on August 1, 2001


Danni Ashe -- the first President with nothing to hide.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 7:41 AM on August 1, 2001


How about Jodie Foster? She's a magna cum laude graduate from Yale, comes across as very level headed and self-assured. She definitely seems like she could hold her own with other foreign leaders.
posted by hazyjane at 7:45 AM on August 1, 2001


No one can top the orignal, Ronald Reagan.

But since he's constitutionally (ha! double entrendre!) ineligble to run again, I'll go with the Senator from Tennessee, Fred Thompson.

Jodie Foster as President would really confuse the kooks - they wouldn't know who to assassinate.
posted by mikewas at 8:16 AM on August 1, 2001


While watching Planet of the Apes the other day I had a frightening vision of Mark Wahlberg as President. I mean, he's already made the leap from cheesy white rapper to (fairly) credible actor, which is more than one can say for Reagan. Then I shuddered and nearly spilled my soda all over my lap.
posted by bcwinters at 8:18 AM on August 1, 2001


This is, undoubtedly, the scariest MeFi thread ever. I'm fairly well freaked out now, I'm going to go hide under my bed for a bit.
posted by Dreama at 8:23 AM on August 1, 2001


what about edward norton?

he's a yale graduate and also speaks fluent japanese.

not to mention he's a damned good chameleon. he'd be a hard one to figure out.
posted by bwg at 8:26 AM on August 1, 2001


Hehe. Rosie O'Donnell. I can just see the cabinet now: Tom Cruise as Sec'y of State, Fran Drescher as sec'y of the Interior (leopard print interiors, but the interior nonetheless), and Madonna as sec'y of Education, because I sure got an education watching her videos when I was younger.

With a fabulous celebrity cabinet and a KooshEbased anti-missile defense, what more could you want?
posted by MonkeyMeat at 8:28 AM on August 1, 2001


Samuel L. Jackson
posted by SilentSalamander at 8:34 AM on August 1, 2001


Nah, Jackson would make a much better Secretary of Fucking You Up.
posted by kindall at 8:55 AM on August 1, 2001


Tim Robbins.

Read this and see why.

Oh, and dreama (This is, undoubtedly, the scariest MeFi thread ever. I'm fairly well freaked out now, I'm going to go hide under my bed for a bit.)

Couldn't agree more: Reagan??? Eastwood??? Schwarzenegger??? Jesus, you people scare me.
posted by mapalm at 8:59 AM on August 1, 2001


Oprah Winfrey!
posted by Steven Den Beste at 9:01 AM on August 1, 2001


if we're talking dignified here, i vote for morgan freeman.

oh, except i'm canadian, so i can't vote anyway...
posted by bwg at 9:11 AM on August 1, 2001


Travolta. We definitely need a Scientologist in the White House.
posted by starvingartist at 9:14 AM on August 1, 2001


David Cross.
posted by Shadowkeeper at 10:37 AM on August 1, 2001


My vote is for James Earl Jones. He's got military experience, a regal presence, and is a proven leader.

Some of you, however, may not care for his big business connections.
posted by ljromanoff at 11:06 AM on August 1, 2001


William Shatner is CANADIAN??!!
posted by culberjo at 11:24 AM on August 1, 2001


William Shatner is CANADIAN??!!

Afraid so. But at least Captain Kirk is a good American, hailing from Iowa.
posted by ljromanoff at 11:30 AM on August 1, 2001


Oh, and if we have to vote for a celebrity, Jodi Foster gets mine.
posted by culberjo at 11:30 AM on August 1, 2001


She may be dead, but WTF. Edith Massey gets my vote.
posted by gimli at 11:48 AM on August 1, 2001


Kaiser Soze.
posted by witchstone at 12:12 PM on August 1, 2001


Kaiser Soze

What, a guy who just makes stuff up as he goes along? We've got that ...
posted by Shadowkeeper at 12:21 PM on August 1, 2001


hmmmm... shatner as president. of course there'd need to be an amendment to the constitution, but...

just think, there wouldn't be a scandal everytime a beautiful woman was spotted leaving his quarters.

and he could staff the CIA with a bunch of guys in red shirts.
posted by bwg at 12:36 PM on August 1, 2001


Ralph Wiggum for Emperor.

What's a battle?

See? Peace in our time.

Ralph! Ralph! Ralph!
posted by Skot at 12:44 PM on August 1, 2001


vision of Mark Wahlberg as President. I mean, he's already made the leap from cheesy white rapper to (fairly) credible actor

WHAT?!?!? Mark Wahlberg?! credible actor?! Dude.. you're in the wrong reality!

I'm still voting for Cthulu.
posted by Nauip at 8:42 PM on March 6, 2002


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