Smarter than the average bear

July 22, 2010 8:47 PM

Bear with jar on head now bareheaded.
posted by joannemerriam (45 comments total)

But he can't breathe without his helmet! What are the chances of our air being the same as on his home planet?
posted by oulipian at 8:54 PM on July 22, 2010 [17 favorites]

Having that jar on its head must have been unbearable.
posted by cazoo at 8:59 PM on July 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

finally I can sleep
posted by heyethan at 9:00 PM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh, bother.
posted by yhbc at 9:03 PM on July 22, 2010 [5 favorites]

I adore this bear. Because when it's not adore, it's a jar.
posted by The otter lady at 9:10 PM on July 22, 2010 [6 favorites]

I find the line about "this is the result of improper recycling" hilarious.
posted by neuromodulator at 9:11 PM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Semper Fi, bear!
posted by darkstar at 9:13 PM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Steve?
posted by KingEdRa at 9:15 PM on July 22, 2010

The CBC comment section never fails to creep me out.
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:26 PM on July 22, 2010

I guess this as good a place as any to link to Baby in a Watermelon
posted by gwint at 9:28 PM on July 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

So because a canoeist reported seeing a jar (didn't actually collect it or anything) that had hair in it, in a place where jars obviously tend to collect (or the bear wouldn't have had the opportunity to get his head stuck in one in the first place), we're now just being told that he must have freed himself, despite not being able to do so for at least two weeks? Eff that noise. Pics or it didn't happen.

/captain bringdown
posted by penduluum at 9:28 PM on July 22, 2010

Well, the jar is no longer full of bear head. The status of the bear is still unknown. If they're anything like hermit crabs...
posted by Sys Rq at 9:29 PM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

The CBC comment section never fails to creep me out.

No doubt. I think I've said it before on MeFi, but CBC is the YouTube of Canada, at least in terms of comment-creepery/
posted by mannequito at 9:29 PM on July 22, 2010

ha! Yeah I just now read the second link ... professional opinion = anonymous canoeist? Definitely must be Canada!
posted by mannequito at 9:31 PM on July 22, 2010

Teach you to make a pregnant lady have to keep her snacks way far away in a bear locker instead of right next to her pillow when she's camping, you damn bears.
posted by padraigin at 9:35 PM on July 22, 2010

Clearly, something has now eaten the bear.
posted by a non e mouse at 9:35 PM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Maybe he's a professional canoeist, a veritable doctor of canoeology. I hope the bear is really free, and if so, he needs to start building up those fat reserves for winter. Get to eating, son!
posted by Kevin Street at 9:36 PM on July 22, 2010

For a moment, I thought you were suggesting that the bear was a professional canoeist.

Which would be AWESOME.
posted by darkstar at 9:58 PM on July 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

That is the silliest thing I've ever heard ursine.
posted by hal9k at 10:05 PM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

"For a moment, I thought you were suggesting that the bear was a professional canoeist.

Which would be AWESOME."

Better a canoe than a kayak. He might get stuck in one of those.
posted by Kevin Street at 10:08 PM on July 22, 2010

The CBC comment section never fails to creep me out.

Oh my goodness! We are such kooks.

Gordon in Sarnia wrote: @ weeks without water any mammal is long since DEAD!

If you're not imagining Bruce McCullough delivering that in his best Gord 'n' Fran voice, you're doing it wrong.
posted by fleetmouse at 11:04 PM on July 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

As NYC area spreads, so do bears; NJ hunt approved
posted by homunculus at 11:32 PM on July 22, 2010

Bearst of the web.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:46 AM on July 23, 2010

I placed a jar in Thunder Bay,
And round it was, upon a bear...
posted by pracowity at 12:54 AM on July 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

The silly part in all this is that this was likely Page 1 material in my hometown paper. Yep.
posted by myopicman at 1:13 AM on July 23, 2010

has a large plastic jar stuck to its head, making it impossible for the animal to eat or drink.

Look at the picture. That is one skinny bear. His body shape looks more like a dog than a bear.
posted by marsha56 at 1:43 AM on July 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

I came here to say "Semper Fi, bear."
I am glad I was not the first.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:31 AM on July 23, 2010

My local TV station is reporting that the bear is probably dead, and that bear experts were saying that is the only way the jar would come off. No joke.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:03 AM on July 23, 2010

There will now be a handoff ceremony in which I formally hand over all of my favorites to hal9k.
posted by kingbenny at 6:13 AM on July 23, 2010

oh thank god. I almost made an fpp about this last week, but it `was too sad without resolution.
posted by 256 at 6:57 AM on July 23, 2010

Any word on how the girl made out ?
posted by digsrus at 7:13 AM on July 23, 2010

Is there a picture of him grinning and giving us all a thumbs up?
posted by anniecat at 7:29 AM on July 23, 2010

Smarter than the average bear.
posted by ob at 7:30 AM on July 23, 2010

Which indeed was the title of the post. I'll go put my head in a jar now.
posted by ob at 7:30 AM on July 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm glad he decided to drop it before the look caught on. I had real fears of hearing about raccoons with empty peanut-butter jars on their heads, and mice stuck in thimbles.

Bears are trend-setters and as fashion statements go, this one was just irresponsible.
posted by quin at 8:13 AM on July 23, 2010

Do you have trouble getting the bears out of the bottom of your jars? That's why we've come up with new squeeze-bottle bears, for easy dispensing! Put bears on everything!
posted by neuromodulator at 8:17 AM on July 23, 2010

Bear life cycle:

larva → pupa → adult
posted by oulipian at 8:36 AM on July 23, 2010 [4 favorites]

CKDR, a radio station in Dryden, posted their take on the issue as 'Bear No Longer in a Pickle.'

An elusive black bear is finally free of the pickle jar that was stuck to its head for about two weeks. Wildlife officers near Thunder Bay say the bear somehow managed to get rid of the jar on its own.
A canoeist found the empty jar Thursday containing black fur and scratched with claw marks.
Many people were worried the animal could die because the jar made it impossible to eat or drink.
The bear had lost a lot of weight.
But one expert says it is still early in the berry season, so the bear should be able to fatten up in plenty of time for winter.

posted by riane at 9:12 AM on July 23, 2010

That wasn't the bear's jar, that was my fur jar, where I keep my fur.

I want my fur jar back, please.
posted by orme at 9:16 AM on July 23, 2010

He said local residents felt sorry for the bear and their first reaction was to help the animal. They then realized it would not be a good idea to approach a bear.

Genius, that.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:48 AM on July 23, 2010

My local TV station is reporting that the bear is probably dead, and that bear experts were saying that is the only way the jar would come off. No joke.

uh, what? alright then, I guess I'll be turning to random canoeists for answers from here on out.

Actually, amidst the lame jokes and crackpots on the CBC comment section, there was this gem:
"Speculation: the bear was likely desperate for water, and found a spot deep enough to submerge the mouth of the jug, allowing water to flow into the jar, to weight the jar enough, and to lubricate the bear's head so that the jar just slipped off."
posted by mannequito at 12:43 PM on July 23, 2010

My family's all back in Thunder Bay and we spent a really disproportionate amount of time discussing this news story this week. It was a big story and generally more interesting than my previous front page favorite about someone crashing their car into a ditch to avoid a moose. Family consensus: poor bear. Also - who eats that many pickles?!
posted by marylynn at 4:47 PM on July 23, 2010

Bearjacking! Sandwich-seeking Ursus americanus invades car, drives it, honks horn, poops, flips out
posted by homunculus at 5:59 PM on July 24, 2010

Bear Raids Laconia Kitchen, Takes Stuffed Bear
posted by homunculus at 9:41 AM on July 29, 2010

In other bear vs. jar news: A bear cub in Florida, which had a plastic jar stuck on its head for at least 10 days, has now been freed.
posted by homunculus at 8:17 PM on August 17, 2010