A Murder Ballad of Crows

July 29, 2010 8:12 AM

Nick Cave brought in to rewrite the remake of The Crow. Nick Cave, named one of Variety's 10 Screenwriters to Watch in 2006, is rewriting the script for the remake of The Crow. Given his work on The Proposition and the sequel to Gladiator (as well as his first novel, And The Ass Saw The Angel), the results should be fascinating.
posted by Mountain Goatse (57 comments total)

YEA! A remake!
posted by CarlRossi at 8:15 AM on July 29, 2010 [2 favorites]

I will be the arbiter of what is fascinating to me, thankyouverymuch.

This sounds fascinating.
posted by inturnaround at 8:16 AM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

I think this guy from the comments nailed:

WHY don't this guys just pick up the f****** comic and make something like SinCity??? i wonder...

I mean, beside this option i can't imagine how on earth will they ever be able to create a remake that is better than the original...

Ok you can close this thread now.
posted by spicynuts at 8:19 AM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

Is the soundtrack gonna be as awesome as the original?
posted by sciurus at 8:22 AM on July 29, 2010 [3 favorites]

Yeah, this seems like a really bad idea. Also, the Proposition was boring.
posted by adamdschneider at 8:23 AM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

It would be nice if this movie is closer to the comic- no supernatural powers, just a lot of drugs and a lot of crazy, and a hammer at the end of it all. Of course, it'd probably be too depressing, so I doubt they'll do that, especially when the temptation to MOAR EFFECTS looms at all times.
posted by yeloson at 8:23 AM on July 29, 2010

I'd rather see Nick Cave write something for grown-ups.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 8:24 AM on July 29, 2010 [11 favorites]

Huh. I listen to the soundtrack way more than anyone should, but I haven't re-watched the movie since it came out. I'm worried that it wouldn't hold up...it came out at exactly the right time for me. And it was pretty much the last time anyone cared about my demographic. (Well, except maybe the first Matrix.)
posted by JoanArkham at 8:25 AM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

I should be railing against this with every fiber of my being as me and my friends loved this film in high school SO HARD.

But...

But...

Nick Cave??!!!

My fibers are confused and need a sit-down to think this over a bit.
posted by Windigo at 8:25 AM on July 29, 2010 [7 favorites]

I read The Death of Bunny Munroe and was not particularly impressed. Grinderman kicks ass, however.
posted by dortmunder at 8:25 AM on July 29, 2010

I hope he finds a fresh angle. There have already been over 100 Crow films.
posted by permafrost at 8:25 AM on July 29, 2010 [7 favorites]

I really want to see that Gladiator sequel - "impossible to finance" pffft.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 8:27 AM on July 29, 2010

It would be nice if this movie is closer to the comic- no supernatural powers,

the dude got shot a whole lot post-death and was entirely fine. the comic just didn't go to any lengths to explain how the whole not-being-dead thing worked.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 8:28 AM on July 29, 2010

Wait, that script for Gladiator 2 was a serious attempt at a sequel? I always thought it was a joke.
posted by never used baby shoes at 8:38 AM on July 29, 2010

Norrington out, Cave in, Pressman producing?

What a mixed-bag! It would have been interesting to see Norrington direct again, even if it was SyFy Channel sub-B-level stuff like 'The Crow' -- it was a movie before it became a television show, fer christsakes!

And Edward Pressman? He was producing stuff way, way back in the '70s, not to mention being one of Oliver Stone's earliest producers. It's surprising to see him make the effort.

Cave sounds like a good pick, but why not an original character, an original premise and a new title?
posted by vhsiv at 8:38 AM on July 29, 2010

Windigo ftw. Love the music, but haven't seen much chops as a writer. Also, love auteurs and everything, but The Crow was really all about the brilliant vision of Alex Proyas (Dark City MMMM). Ed Pressman still producing, huh, but the guy from Blade? Okay, there will be leather jackets and spooky... hmm...
posted by cavalier at 8:40 AM on July 29, 2010

the dude got shot a whole lot post-death and was entirely fine

It's questionable whether he actually died initially or just got really fucked up, and then goes off shoots himself full of painkilling drugs while on his revenge spree. When you have real world examples of drugged up people sometimes taking dozens of bullets and being "functional" for up to an hour, this didn't suggest to me that he was supernaturally powered as much as a one man combination of insanity and heavy drug abuse at that point. Especially since his initial wounds are generally in the arms or non-lethal locations.

He certainly didn't have any kind of "And now you will feel my manpain channeled into your heart!" power in the comic.
posted by yeloson at 8:40 AM on July 29, 2010

I am only sad that Rob Zombie did not get to follow through with the planned Crow sequel he'd been talking about - in which a kid and his mother get killed, the kid gets resurrected by a crow, then spends a couple decades as a futuristic bounty hunter before finally getting around to avenging his own death.

I'm not even kidding, he seriously was attached to the project and said this was his plan, at one point.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 8:41 AM on July 29, 2010 [2 favorites]

Given his work on The Proposition and the sequel to Gladiator (as well as his first novel, And The Ass Saw The Angel), the results should be fascinating.

He also apparently co-wrote Ghosts... of the Civil Dead, but I'm not sure how involved he was with that screenplay (he was definitely memorable acting in the film as a completely insane prisoner though). The main thing that Ghosts... and The Proposition have in common is that they are very violent but do not glorify violence at all, they make the violence look ugly and chaotic. Most films (including The Crow) try to make the audience root for violence by setting bad guys against good guys, but those films made violence an inevitable but unfortunate outcome.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:43 AM on July 29, 2010

I would pay money to see that Gladiator sequel. As long as it was in DISNEY DIGITAL IMAX 3D^TM.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:43 AM on July 29, 2010

My problem with the Crow depicted in the films is the same problem I have with Superman. He's generally invulnerable with one glaring weakness. For us to have any sort of feeling of danger and suspense the bird has to get hurt/die or Luthor has to get ahold of some Kryptonite.
posted by ODiV at 8:46 AM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

I hope he finds a fresh angle. There have already been over 100 Crow films.

What, no Crowbocop? No Crowstbusters?
posted by Kirk Grim at 8:54 AM on July 29, 2010 [13 favorites]

I actually find this really disappointing. I have been absolutely loathing the idea that they were going to remake this movie until I found out that they were going to have Stephen Norrington direct it. Norrington isn't that well known, but his Death Machine and Blade were both remarkably good. Unfortunately, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen more or less fell apart because of issues with ego on the set, and if they are calling in people to rewrite his script, I can see this kind of thing happening again.

My hopes for this movie being great just went down quite a bit.
posted by quin at 8:56 AM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

I would pay money to see that Gladiator sequel. As long as it was in DISNEY DIGITAL IMAX 3D™.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:43 AM on July 29

That's probably been the goal all along.

I hear Ridley's going to shoot that one after he's done with the first Alien prequel. But he's going to make 'Gladiator 2' in 3 parts. And then he's going to die, and then he's going to make that 'Monopoly' movie and then 'The Forever War'...

He's 73 and he's got 23 projects in development? Yeesh -- good on 'im!
posted by vhsiv at 9:01 AM on July 29, 2010

Wellllll....

It was back in '94 when black was in
he was wearing more foundation than an English queen
Brandon Lee
posted by kid ichorous at 9:10 AM on July 29, 2010 [3 favorites]

What, no Crowbocop?

God bless you.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 9:10 AM on July 29, 2010

The Crow movie is not a comic book. It's a movie.

If this were the Muppet version of The Crow movie, I could support it. I don't see how they could possibly make this movie better, or relevant, even if Kurt Cobain came back from the grave to write it.
posted by Brocktoon at 9:11 AM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

Sean Connery poisoned League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

It was based on a great comic book by Alan Moore and directed by Stephen Norrington. It should have been an ace in the hole, but someone got the bright idea of casting Connery. Connery got cast and then decided that he didn't want to play a decrepit morphine addict, subservient to a woman.

And then Connery decided that Norrington didn't know what the hell he was doing.

Game over.
posted by vhsiv at 9:12 AM on July 29, 2010

Well, in his defense, the man was Sean Connery.
posted by cavalier at 9:15 AM on July 29, 2010 [2 favorites]

Can we stop talking about what writer was hired to write what script? Or what pitch just got bought? Or what actors are being considered for whatever film is casting right now? That's the province of Variety and deal-makers, but has absolutely no relevance for film fans. Seriously, people, save your hysteria for when the trailer comes out, because everything up until then is sausage-making.
posted by incessant at 9:19 AM on July 29, 2010

incessant: ...everything up until then is sausage-making.

Mmmmmm....crow sausage.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:25 AM on July 29, 2010

I read this too fast and saw something about an ass saw. I hope there is an ass saw.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:29 AM on July 29, 2010

Some of us are interested in sausage-making.
posted by Optamystic at 9:39 AM on July 29, 2010

COMMAND.COM
LOAD BIOS
BIOS SYSTEM CHECK
RAM CHECK
CONFIG.SYS
BIO.COM INTERFACE
TO ROM I/O
CONTROLLER
COMSPEC.EXE
MEMORY.DAT
ROBO UTILS
SYSTEM BUFFER
PARAMETERS
PARITY SET
MEMORY SET
SYSTEM STATUS
OK_

DIRECTIVE 1: SERVE THE STUDIO'S TRUST
DIRECTIVE 2: PROTECT THE FRANCHISE
DIRECTIVE 3: UPHOLD THE COPYRIGHT
DIRECTIVE 4: (CLASSIFIED)*



*PROFIT!
posted by longbaugh at 9:45 AM on July 29, 2010 [3 favorites]

And the Ass Saw the Angel is brutal and horrifying; if Cave's version of The Crow is something like an urbanized version of that rural human horror story, this could be worth seeing.
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:02 AM on July 29, 2010

My problem with the Crow depicted in the films is the same problem I have with Superman. He's generally invulnerable with one glaring weakness. For us to have any sort of feeling of danger and suspense the bird has to get hurt/die or Luthor has to get ahold of some Kryptonite.

The gravitas brought to him whacking all these helpless thugs was laughable.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 10:34 AM on July 29, 2010

The main thing that Ghosts... and The Proposition have in common is that they are very violent but do not glorify violence at all, they make the violence look ugly and chaotic.

Huh? The Proposition had one of the prettiest exploding heads ever.
posted by stinkycheese at 10:36 AM on July 29, 2010

It was the day my grandmother exploded...and then returned in black-clad invincibility for vengeance
posted by Sparx at 10:37 AM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

So if I read the synopsis of Cave's Gladiator sequence right, it's basically "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner"?
posted by kenko at 11:18 AM on July 29, 2010

Unless the remake has Michael Wincott, it's really a moot point in my mind.

And as a Pittsburgher, I'm almost offended that we're being put in the same bucket as Detroit as a potential "urban" location. We aren't the dirty steel soot city we once were, and I can not imagine them making it such for the film. (Though it does rain a lot. And they filmed The Road here... so nevermind.)
posted by librarianamy at 11:47 AM on July 29, 2010

Well, it's gotta be better than the sequels.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:09 PM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

C'mon. David Boreanaz in a mesh shirt. Makes the whole film.

My idea for the final Crow movie involved Brandon Lee coming back from the dead and killing the producers and directors of Crows 2, 3, and 4 as revenge.
posted by adipocere at 12:28 PM on July 29, 2010 [2 favorites]

Please let Alex Proyas stay WAY THE HELL AWAY from this.
posted by pxe2000 at 1:36 PM on July 29, 2010

kid ichorous - thanks for that link to Cave's wonderful performance of 'Stagger Lee' on "White Room". That was where I first heard the track and it made me glad all over again that late-night UK TV doesn't bother with all that silly censorship nonsense.
posted by Decani at 1:42 PM on July 29, 2010

So I went to Wikipedia, and I'm scanning down, and I see this:

... Sting has worn costumes inspired by The Crow for most of the later half of his career.

Imagine my disappointment when I do a double-take and realize that I missed the first two words of the sentence: "Professional wrestler Sting has worn..."
posted by No-sword at 1:52 PM on July 29, 2010 [3 favorites]

I read The Death of Bunny Munroe and was not particularly impressed.

Hoo boy, yeah - what a piece of shit that was.

Every Nick Cave fan I know put down the book, sometimes unfinished, and hastily started constructing theories for its incredible lameness. Of course, it's understandable that somebody can produce a substandard work from time to time, but that book was so phenomenally juvenile & poorly executed that we couldn't work out how it passed Cave's own quality control, let alone that of his editors & publishers, unless there was some kind of ulterior explanation:

"He had a contract for one more book, that he didn't want to fulfill..."

"He was short on cash, so he dug up something he scrawled when he was 14..."

"He must be on heroin again & doing anything for the next fix..."

"It's an elaborate joke on - um - us..."
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:05 PM on July 29, 2010 [1 favorite]

I hope Nick Cave writes something unspeakably gruesome, profane and unusable. And gets paid a fortune for it.

I also propose that future FPPs about remakes include a "crisisofcreativity" tag.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 4:10 PM on July 29, 2010

There was a pretty big Australo-musico-blogospherico-literary kerfuffle late last year when the left-feminist (I think) writer Anywn Crawford wrote a big essay in Overland, "The Monarch of Middlebrow", all about the affected misogyny of Nick Cave's music. I thought it was absolutely spot on, but it inspired a lot of angry, jingoistic reaction from patriotic Cave-ites. See here for a representative example. "He is the closest thing to pure Rebetica (Greek blues), or Flamenco we have in the contemporary world and he is made in Australia..."
posted by stammer at 6:49 PM on July 29, 2010

A remake? Seriously? Bah. I remember laying in a spartan and depressing hotel room, age 17, in London, as my family was in the process of moving more than a thousand miles and onto an entirely different continent, and listening to the Crow soundtrack, particularly the song by the Cure. I can't remember if it offered any solace or not, but the movie always reverberated for me in my reflections of my teenage years and I find the idea of a remake even more revolting than the awful sequels that followed (I saw the Crow 2 in a Virgin movie theater and it became the first time in my life when I had to force myself, gritted teeth and clenched fists, to watch through to the credits).

Stupid Hollywood.
posted by Atreides at 8:22 PM on July 29, 2010

I dunno. I'll take 'the affected misogyny of Nick Cave' over Lady Gaga any day of the week. But then again, I'm old and GET OFF MY LAWN.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:15 PM on July 29, 2010

Nick Cave: affected misogyny.

Lady Gaga: just affected.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:22 PM on July 29, 2010

I've always despised Nick Cave from a distance as the absolute living definition of wanker. Then a couple of years ago he performed in the theatre my boyfriend was managing at the the time and I discovered how wrong I was. His wankery-ness is of such epic proportions that a casual pejorative for masturbator couldn't possibly encompass it. I did like The Proposition though.
posted by Wantok at 11:49 PM on July 29, 2010

Nick Cave Rewrites The Crow, Cillian Murphy to Star?
posted by homunculus at 12:16 AM on July 30, 2010

Nick Cave writes magnificent songs that I only want to listen to when I'm shambolically drunk on brown liquor.

His wankery-ness is of such epic proportions that a casual pejorative for masturbator couldn't possibly encompass it.

Ah, meta-wank! Well played, friend masturbator! The spiral of self-referential irony, the push for parsing! I am all a-swoon.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:13 AM on July 30, 2010

Even more delicious, I notice, when the username is a child's play anagram for 'Wank to'.

Hah! Splendid, I say! Splendid!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:15 AM on July 30, 2010

yes, i felt like making that a cryptic crossword clue, like: "to wank, badly"

i assume friday night in korea has involved a few beers.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:46 AM on July 30, 2010

[What, I don't get a "previously?" What's a guy gotta do, eh?]
posted by koeselitz at 9:00 PM on July 30, 2010