Join 3,557 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


The School Time Jet-Powered School Bus
August 11, 2010 11:30 AM   Subscribe

"I built the bus for two reasons. The first is to entertain people because, come on, it's a jet bus. The second is to keep kids off drugs. Jets are hot, drugs are not."

An Indianapolis man and his team of mechanics have built a school bus powered by a jet engine from a F-4 Phantom II. It can reach speeds in excess of 350mph. (previously)
posted by dephlogisticated (64 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Why do I picture Otto Mann at the wheel?
posted by Skeptic at 11:32 AM on August 11, 2010 [6 favorites]


Why don't I picture Richard Hammond at the wheel?
posted by eriko at 11:35 AM on August 11, 2010 [5 favorites]


I just realized that almost anything you do short of blatantly criminal action can be justified by offering those two reasons, exactly in the way he offered them.

"I ____________________ for two reasons. The first is to entertain people because, come on, it's _______________________. The second is to keep kids off drugs."

Internet meme generator NOW plz.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 11:36 AM on August 11, 2010 [18 favorites]


Why am I picturing myself driving to Indianapolis, breaking into the bus, and doing rails of white ... powdery ... beef off of the steering wheel?
posted by adipocere at 11:37 AM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


I so want to steal slogger's previous comment for this.
posted by Elmore at 11:37 AM on August 11, 2010


The second is to keep kids off drugs. Jets are hot, drugs are not.

I wasn't much of a drug user in high school, but lots of my friends were, and if there were one occasion that they would definitely get stoned and/or drop acid for, it would be travelling 350 mph on a school bus with a jet engine strapped to it.
posted by Shepherd at 11:38 AM on August 11, 2010 [9 favorites]


Wow! I'm convinced!
*flushes drugs down toilet*
posted by Floydd at 11:38 AM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


I support this clearly thought out approach to child safety.
posted by Babblesort at 11:38 AM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


I don't hate video, but I do miss plain ol' pictures.
posted by Eideteker at 11:38 AM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


You know you're a redneck when..
posted by moogboy at 11:39 AM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


This is the jet bus equivalent of why police departments were buying expensive sports cars for D.A.R.E rallys, right? Because somehow a vehicle that kids are too young to drive and will never be able to drive because they don't have the money or access to a jet engine or whatever will somehow keep them from smoking pot?

Ah, magical thinking... is there any purchase of a toy for adults that you can't justify?
posted by hippybear at 11:42 AM on August 11, 2010 [6 favorites]


So, Paul Stender is Zodiac. Case closed.
posted by Elmore at 11:43 AM on August 11, 2010


I do not have any children, but when I imagine this hypothetical child of mine, and he or she asks me, "Daddy, can I take a ride on this homemade jet-bus that goes 350mph?" I see myself shortly handing the child in question a thick, smoldering blunt, saying, "Kid, do this instead. It's safer, okay?"
posted by adipocere at 11:46 AM on August 11, 2010 [20 favorites]


I drew school buses with giant jet engines back in grade school. And it's come true. I am now waiting for a surfer riding a giant tidal wave that crosses the entire country - which I also drew back then.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 11:46 AM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


What the hell is wrong with you people? JET-BUS mothefuckers!
posted by Mister_A at 11:46 AM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


Because nothing makes kids want to stay off drugs more than a bus that will get them to school even faster.
posted by tommasz at 11:47 AM on August 11, 2010 [6 favorites]


Why don't I picture Richard Hammond at the wheel?

Why doesn't Richard Hammond have a MeFi account?
posted by kalessin at 11:48 AM on August 11, 2010


Listen, man. This is the answer to all our problems. Try it, you'll see!

National debt? JET-BUS
War in Afghanistan? JET-BUS
Anthropogenic Global Climatic Nastiness? JET-BUS TO THE EXTREME!
posted by Mister_A at 11:49 AM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


So wait, is this jet-bus more or less dangerous than a hydrogen bomb?
posted by uncleozzy at 11:50 AM on August 11, 2010


when I imagine this hypothetical child of mine, and he or she asks me, "Daddy, can I take a ride on this homemade jet-bus that goes 350mph?" I see myself shortly handing the child in question a thick, smoldering blunt...

I rolled this joint for two reasons...
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:51 AM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


Beelzebus, Beelzebus II, Beelzebus III
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 11:51 AM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


Satisfying all those childhood fantasies about getting to school FASTER
posted by DavidandConquer at 11:51 AM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Wasted fuel + huge carbon footprint = Cool

Fossil Fuel addiction > Drug addiction.
posted by charlie don't surf at 11:56 AM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


How is this an example of why kids shouldn't do drugs? It is plainly obvious every guy in that group is a speed freak.

[/rimshot]
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 11:57 AM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Hey, all I'm tryin' to say here is JET-BUS. Think about it.
posted by Mister_A at 11:58 AM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Wait, his name is "Otto Mann"? I thought Bart was just calling him "Otto, man".
posted by DU at 12:00 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Needs more Bubb Rubb.
posted by pracowity at 12:01 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Kids, stay in your seats while the jet bus is moving. Buckle the seat belt if you have one.
posted by domnit at 12:07 PM on August 11, 2010


Why don't I picture Ken Kesey at the wheel?
posted by ericb at 12:07 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


The second is to keep kids off drugs. Jets are hot, drugs are not.


But have you ever looked at the Jet Bus...on weed?
posted by mullingitover at 12:07 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


the bus which uses a full tank of 150 gallons of fuel in just one quarter-mile run.

Clearly he's encouraging children to be kerosene addicts.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:07 PM on August 11, 2010


Apparently, yes, his name is Otto Mann.
posted by hippybear at 12:09 PM on August 11, 2010


I wish I had a "team of engineers" and the accompanying leisure time at my disposal . . .
posted by eggman at 12:09 PM on August 11, 2010


We can just pretend that this Otto drives that silly bus.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:13 PM on August 11, 2010


This is the jet bus equivalent of why police departments were buying expensive sports cars for D.A.R.E rallys, right?

Correct.

Because somehow a vehicle that kids are too young to drive and will never be able to drive because they don't have the money or access to a jet engine or whatever will somehow keep them from smoking pot?

Incorrect.

The correct answer was "because claiming it's somehow related to 'keeping kids off drugs' gives you a blank check to spend money on things, no matter how ridiculous or nonsensical they might be, as long as they are impressive, because at the end of the day nobody has any better ideas about how to 'keep kids off drugs,' because kids have always done drugs and probably always will."

Although really he should get with the times and figure out some sort of counter-terrorism angle. That's where the real money is.
posted by Kadin2048 at 12:13 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Although really he should get with the times and figure out some sort of counter-terrorism angle.

Weaponized jet bus.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 12:19 PM on August 11, 2010


Metafilter: The School Time Jet-Powered School Bus
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 12:26 PM on August 11, 2010


Freedom jet bus.
posted by Big_B at 12:27 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


...claiming it's somehow related to 'keeping kids off drugs' gives you a blank check to spend money on things...

This weekend I will be buying a 65" 3D Plasma HDTV. To keep kids off of drugs.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 12:29 PM on August 11, 2010


But Jet is drugs.
posted by Pope Guilty at 12:30 PM on August 11, 2010


"We do a lot of displays at schools and we are trying to show them there's more to life than sitting in front of computers."

Oh fuck off. Yes, those evil new-fangled boxes with pictures and words are to blame for everything. Seriously, fuck off.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:31 PM on August 11, 2010


Really the first thing I thought of is an RV conversion.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 12:32 PM on August 11, 2010


Either you're on the bus, or you're off the bus,
posted by Obscure Reference at 12:34 PM on August 11, 2010


One day you're on the bus, the next, you're off.
posted by spicynuts at 12:44 PM on August 11, 2010


wow wow wow wow wow wow wow!
posted by millipede at 12:48 PM on August 11, 2010


If I were you, I would do whatever this JET-BUS says.
posted by Mister_A at 12:48 PM on August 11, 2010


Just one jet engine?

That's for wusses.

posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:49 PM on August 11, 2010


the bus which uses a full tank of 150 gallons of fuel in just one quarter-mile run.
That's better than one-thousandth of a mile per gallon! Almost 10 feet per gallon.
...and seats up to three passengers.
or 0.005 people miles per gallon.

I'm really wondering where the 367 mph comes from. Because they seem to have worded things pretty carefully to avoid saying that the bus has actually gone that fast.
posted by Killick at 12:50 PM on August 11, 2010


People, it has flames! Seriously, do you not see that this could be the solution to the perception that mass transit in the US is not cool?! We will spend billions on LRT/bullet trains but we could do buses for a fraction of the cost. I would so switch over from my station wagon for a jet powered bus.
posted by jadepearl at 12:54 PM on August 11, 2010


'Wait, his name is "Otto Mann"? I thought Bart was just calling him "Otto, man".'

Fortune smiles upon thee, thou hast found The Joque.
posted by Eideteker at 12:54 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


See, jadepearl gets it. The rest of you are troglodytic philistines doomed to wander the halls of vapid sameness for eternity, man!
posted by Mister_A at 12:55 PM on August 11, 2010


Really, it's a smokescreen. Strapping a jet engine to a bus is the kind of idea they might have come up with while on drugs.
posted by lordrunningclam at 1:06 PM on August 11, 2010


This is the jet bus equivalent of why police departments were buying expensive sports cars for D.A.R.E rallys, right?

I'm pretty sure that those cars were repurposed for D.A.R.E. after having been seized in connection with a bust.
posted by kosem at 1:09 PM on August 11, 2010


Jets are hot, drugs are not.

Hmm. It's a school bus with an estimated top speed of 367mph which uses 150 gallons per quarter mile and is named 'The School Time Jet-Powered School Bus', and I'm honestly expected to believe that at any point during it's planning, building or *ahem* naming, no alcohol was involved? Not even a little?

Because this is my skeptical face.
posted by quin at 1:11 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


I question his premise.

Cuz I'm high, and JetBus is cool as fuck.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:31 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


...claiming it's somehow related to 'keeping kids off drugs' gives you a blank check to spend money on things...

This weekend I will be buying a 65" 3D Plasma HDTV. To keep kids off of drugs.


This weekend I will be buying an ounce of weed. Just to make sure it doesn't fall into those kids' hands.
posted by mannequito at 1:33 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


I KNEW I should've stayed home today.
posted by NoraReed at 1:40 PM on August 11, 2010


I don't want to cause a fuss, but can I buy your magic bus?
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:09 PM on August 11, 2010


This is straight out of the 1970's.
posted by stbalbach at 2:27 PM on August 11, 2010


Jet-powered mass transit conveyances: How in tarnation do they function?
posted by Mister_A at 4:40 PM on August 11, 2010


This is what happens when you let the pigeon drive the bus.
posted by Balisong at 8:29 PM on August 11, 2010


I should have known, this is Metafilter after all. Why are you people talking about the silly, inconsequential drug quote? It's a Jet-Bus!!! Jet-Bus!!! JET-BUS!!! Jet-Bus?!?
posted by Danila at 8:57 PM on August 11, 2010


It is a JET-BUS, sure, but Shockwave is a

***TRIPLE-JET*** TRUCK!!!!!!!!!

I have seen it in person. It is beautiful and grand.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:43 PM on August 11, 2010


1 - It's no Supervan.

2 - Ain't got nothing on the damn Chinese shovel.

3 - I support mannequito's brave stance against the perils of marijuana abuse and have papers if he needs them.
posted by jtron at 10:33 PM on August 11, 2010


« Older A recent drowning tragedy in Shreveport, Louisiana...  |  Artisinal Pencil Sharpening... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments