Rich Girls Give It Away
August 11, 2010 7:06 PM   Subscribe

Meet Sara and Clare Bronfman. Their father is rich. Their brother is sort of dumb. Their nephew is married to MIA. Sara is a poet, and Clare an equestrian. Now they have handed over $100 million to a cult called NXIVM.
posted by oldleada (78 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
I don't get it.
posted by k8t at 7:08 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Ah, heirs. Too many Bronfman sisters and Hilton sisters, not enough Sarahs Blaffer Hrdy.

Sometimes I daydream about having been an heir to billions, and spending it on graduate degree after graduate degree. But then I look at Sara Bronfman's poetry, and I know I am heiress to a fortune that she can never touch.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:13 PM on August 11, 2010 [32 favorites]


The sisters are heiresses to the Seagram Company liquor fortune

Wouldn't it have been better to spend all that money on a huge house (constantly under construction) with windows in its floors and stairways that lead to nowhere, populated by ghosts of everyone who ever managed to kill themselves and/or others while drunk off their ass on Seagram's? Eccentric rich people used to be so much cooler.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:14 PM on August 11, 2010 [75 favorites]


I too read the poetry and now I'm afraid I have to go and pour bleach in my eyes. Sweet jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick, I didn't think there really was Vogon poetry in the world.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 7:19 PM on August 11, 2010 [9 favorites]




That's kind of unfair to Edgar Bronfman Jr., who a is pretty much the only music exec who has embraced the internet and new methods of distributing music at Warner Music Group.
posted by Michael Pemulis at 7:21 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


According to Claire Bronfman's blog, NXIVM founder Keith Raniere "is a mathematician, physicist, philosopher and entrepreneur. He has developed many patent-pending technologies for the advancement of humanity." As far as I can tell, his claim to being a mathematician is that he went to Rensselaer Polytech at 16 and took some graduate courses. As for physicist, I have no idea. He also likes to be called "Vanguard" and used to run a multilevel marketing program before going into the vitamin-selling business.

Next time somebody tells you rich people are rich because they're smart, you might want to keep in mind that a lot of them gave a lot of money to this dude.
posted by escabeche at 7:26 PM on August 11, 2010 [9 favorites]


Sometimes I daydream about having been an heir to billions, and spending it on graduate degree after graduate degree.

... really? I dream about blowing it all on coke and elaborate film projects that take longer to complete than Eraserhead and make less sense. mostly coke, though. to each their own, I guess.
posted by shmegegge at 7:26 PM on August 11, 2010 [16 favorites]


Cults can offer the very rich stuff that is otherwise hard to buy in a modern economy.

In most respects, your basic rich person today is way richer than say a medieval baron. In general, they can have material goods that dwarf what was available to mighty nobility. But they don't necessarily have the same exalted stature, or ability to command lesser persons (hiring people in the labor market is just not the same).

Enter cults.
posted by grobstein at 7:27 PM on August 11, 2010 [11 favorites]


frpm the salon article: Thanks to his relentless and ongoing pursuit of Nazi-loving Swiss bankers, admirers have dubbed him, only half-jokingly, the "King of the Jews.")

god, that is the greatest compliment ever. "I'm such a great Jew they call me Jesus!"
posted by shmegegge at 7:28 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


Also, it sounds funny when people with tons of money to lose get wrapped up in this stuff. But it's not just rich people, and it's actually not that funny:

An ESP student she met in Anchorage invited her to seminars, where she became fascinated with videotapes of Raniere and Salzman, Clifford said.

Kristin Snyder’s first 16-day ESP intensive course was taught by Salzman in Anchorage in November 2002, Clifford said. She ate it up and demanded more, her partner said.

The Snyders said they knew something had changed when Kristin Snyder visited the family’s 300-acre cotton farm a few weeks after her first intensive. They say they hardly recognized the tearful, angry woman.

When her parents challenged her about NXIVM, Kristin Snyder would cut off discussion and telephone her ESP “coach,” her mother said.

“She had this ‘We can do anything we want to do’ attitude,” Jonnie Snyder said. “She thought Keith was incredible.”

Kristin Snyder visited ESP headquarters in Halfmoon for several days in January 2003 to learn more about the group. When she returned to Anchorage, she was sleep-deprived and seemed irrational, but intent to start another $7,000, 16-day intensive, Clifford said.

“She went to Albany and said, ‘Vanguard doesn’t sleep, so I don’t need to sleep,’ ” Clifford said.

NXIVM’s customs made Clifford uncomfortable, but she said she signed up for an ESP intensive to support her partner.

Kristin Snyder became emotionally disturbed on about the 10th day of that session, Clifford recalled, but a NXIVM instructor told her and other students to ignore suicide threats Kristin Snyder was making, saying they were just attempts at getting noticed. After being rebuffed for medical attention, Kristin Snyder left the hotel. Clearly upset, she waved goodbye to Clifford through a window as she walked away.

“I was told (by a NXIVM instructor) not to bring her to the hospital. That’s what makes me feel really bad,” Clifford said.


Snyder committed suicide in February 2003.
posted by escabeche at 7:30 PM on August 11, 2010 [8 favorites]


In most respects, your basic rich person today is way richer than say a medieval baron.

So are most of us, now that you mention it. Barons crapped in privies. Baronesses had to weave the fabric for the family's clothes, or at least make sure that it got done by people they housed and fed. Also, fleas.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:31 PM on August 11, 2010 [5 favorites]


Ah, the Bronfmans and the Kennedys. Two dynasties built on prohibition rum running.
posted by rocket88 at 7:31 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


“For she who bares the fruit of mankind?"

Vogon is of course, only the third worst poetry in the universe.
posted by shinybaum at 7:37 PM on August 11, 2010 [25 favorites]


Oh, thank goodness. I thought this was about a new reality show I was going to have to hear about for the next five years. Carry on!
posted by usonian at 7:42 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Raniere's NXIVM biography says he is a Rensselaer Polytechic Institute graduate who made "The Guinness Book of World Records" for his high IQ."

So, what would that be, I wonder? The highest IQ in the world?
posted by stinkycheese at 7:46 PM on August 11, 2010


nexium? only rich brainless people would give all their money to a proton pump inhibitors...
posted by oonh at 7:49 PM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


Don't you want devoted followers who leave their families for you? Give their money to you? Give their bodies to you? Give up their lives for you? Consider you God? And will kill for you?

Don't You Want To Become A Cult Leader?
posted by GameDesignerBen at 7:51 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


Eccentric rich people used to be so much cooler.

This is true and I have no idea why. Look at Vanderbilt and Carnegie. They were worth billions (in today's money) so they started up universities, libraries, museums, concert halls and massive telescopes.

Yet it seems like all rich people can do these days is buy enormous houses, invest in hedge funds and live ~+~OmG ScAnDaLoUsLy~+~ Even Bill Gates' philanthropic efforts seem primary dedicated to putting computers in the hands of poor people, which seems unsurprisingly self-serving.

If you're a billionaire, at least build a giant laser to blow up the Sun or something. Have some imagination.

I personally, would fully fund the Overwhelmingly Large Telescope. 1.5 billion euros is actually pretty cheap to see alien planets with our own eyes.
posted by Azazel Fel at 8:00 PM on August 11, 2010 [9 favorites]


a cult called NXIVM

And not just any cult! It's a cult that appears to be at least partially based on the organizing principles espoused in Charlotte's Web.

SOME CULT
posted by penduluum at 8:02 PM on August 11, 2010 [16 favorites]


The shields are getting a lot of interference from the proton pump inhibitor. Double the output to the neutron discombobulator.
posted by Babblesort at 8:04 PM on August 11, 2010 [5 favorites]


Even Bill Gates' philanthropic efforts seem primary dedicated to putting computers in the hands of poor people, which seems unsurprisingly self-serving.

What? Most of the Gates Foundation stuff is about health and education. Look at the wikipedia breakdown. Among other things, 17% of the total money spent on polio eradication comes from the Gates Foundation, along with a lot of work on malaria and TB. Even the education stuff is largely focused on class sizes, scholarships, etc. While there have been a few small computer-related activities, the vast majority of the Gates Foundation work has absolutely nothing to do with computers.

(I post all this because I think Buffet and Gates are the best model for how rich people today should behave)
posted by wildcrdj at 8:05 PM on August 11, 2010 [57 favorites]


he went to Rensselaer Polytech at 16

You know, they whore the shit out of anyone that's ever gone there, but I've never heard his name before. Maybe I will suggest they add it to the tour.

/alum
posted by backseatpilot at 8:06 PM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


Mr. Bronfman's fortune was pegged by Forbes this year at about $2.5 billion. That number would be larger by a few orders of magnitude if not for the dismemberment of the Seagram liquor cash cow-including its divestiture of a near-25 percent stake in DuPont-at the hands of the sisters' half-brother Edgar Jr. in his quest to become an entertainment mogul.

I don't work in the financial sector, but I'm fairly sure the author doesn't know what "order of magnitude" means.
posted by el_lupino at 8:08 PM on August 11, 2010 [14 favorites]


As far as I can tell, his claim to being a mathematician is that he went to Rensselaer Polytech at 16 and took some graduate courses.

I've heard it said that you can call yourself a mathematician as soon as you prove (something that is accepted by the mathematical community as) a theorem. So I won't hold it against this guy if he doesn't have a PhD. But I would love to see his theorems.
posted by AkzidenzGrotesk at 8:08 PM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


I did some work for someone who I think is into that thing. I went to one of the things... *shrug* frankly I didn't get it. Perhaps I'm to damned crotchety for stories of life happiness to could my mind:)
posted by MrLint at 8:14 PM on August 11, 2010


Google Scholar doesn't have any record that the guy's ever proved a theorem. On the other hand, he does hold two different patents for neckwear.
posted by escabeche at 8:19 PM on August 11, 2010


I went looking for NXIVM, but ended up at N1004.
posted by hanoixan at 8:29 PM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


What? Most of the Gates Foundation stuff is about health and education. Look at the wikipedia breakdown.

Okay, my bad. I take that part back.
posted by Azazel Fel at 8:37 PM on August 11, 2010


I've never felt so good about supporting the Death Tax.
posted by lukemeister at 8:43 PM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


If you're a billionaire, at least build a giant laser to blow up the Sun or something. Have some imagination.

They don't all suck. Billionaire Warren Hellman uses a bunch of his money to sponsor the annual three-day, free Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival in Golden Gate Park every year. The lineups every year are outstanding.
posted by rtha at 8:49 PM on August 11, 2010 [7 favorites]


rtha: "If you're a billionaire, at least build a giant laser to blow up the Sun or something. Have some imagination."

There is no way to blow up a star with a laser... geez. You'd need a gravity bomb.

You amateurs, I swear to Xenu...
posted by MrLint at 8:51 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


There's lots of philanthropy going on. They just don't get their name in the papers unless sex drugs or rock & roll is involved.
posted by desuetude at 8:52 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


I didn't think her poetry could be that bad.
On her face she wore dignity, her head she held high
For no bouncing could dishevel the beauty inside
Hmm. She definitely qualifies for "exceeds expectations" in her performance review.
posted by Joe in Australia at 8:55 PM on August 11, 2010 [4 favorites]




See, I was going to say that I would do what Clare Bronfman did and spend it all on horses, and that I kind of respect her for that.

But then I went and Googled this image of her riding.

Compare with Beezie Madden, who can really ride.

See how Bronfman has pinned her knee to the saddle and let her lower leg swing back? That's a serious fault. I know, I had the exact same fault for years.

With a leg like that she has no way to really adjust her horse's stride coming into the fence, and she's probably going to land like a sack of potatoes. It means she's basically a passenger on her (fancy, lovely, scopey, talented) horse.

Anyone who really cared about horses or was even vaguely interested in riding, beyond the sheer superficial social-climbing bullshit aspect of it, would have put in the hours and the sweat equity and fixed this.

So +1 to Grar! Stupid money is wasted on the stupid!

But yeah, the Gates Foundation is awesome.
posted by rdc at 8:59 PM on August 11, 2010 [10 favorites]


M.I.A.: I'm only here on a year visa, so if you could just advertise, I'm looking for a husband.

Pitchfork: I'll make sure everyone knows. You may get a lot more e-mails than you realize.
posted by benzenedream at 9:00 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


See how Bronfman has pinned her knee to the saddle and let her lower leg swing back? That's a serious fault. I know, I had the exact same fault for years.

Hey rdc, ever seen John Whitaker ride? He looks like that in almost every photo. Seriously, you can't make that kind of judgment (hehe, Beezie Madden pun there) off one photo.

(But no way she's anywhere near as good as John Whitaker. Aside from Steinkraus, he's unequalled.)
posted by grounded at 9:11 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Concur with whoever's observation about plutocrats being at one point in history far less boring. I don't think most rich people possess the attention span to even read Fordlandia these days, or else they might be less likely to trust the latest dude with a supposed scheme to found his own sovereign country etc. etc.
posted by evabraunstein at 9:12 PM on August 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Came for the ardent claim that wacky cult is no different from mainstream religion.
Leaving disappointed.
posted by Iron Rat at 9:15 PM on August 11, 2010


Not enough time studying, those two:

"For she who bares the fruit of mankind?"

and

"I find myself perplexed by humanities' differences and similarities"

/me takes of editor's hat and sets it gently on the table.

"English motherfucker. Do you speak it?!"

/me dons hat.

My work here is done.
posted by Galen at 9:25 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


Edgar Bronfman's second cousin Jeffrey Bronfman provided the deep pockets behind the court battle which legalized ayahuasca in the US for religious purposes.
posted by telstar at 9:29 PM on August 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


@grounded Oh don't be comin' around here with your "Everyone has a bad moment" and "John Whitaker rides like a crazy man and is awesomely effective." Why you be spoilin' my judgy fun?
posted by rdc at 9:43 PM on August 11, 2010


me takes of editor's hat

Heh
posted by shmegegge at 9:59 PM on August 11, 2010 [8 favorites]


The most telling line of the whole article is the final one: Ms. Tkacik will join the staff of the Washington City Paper next month.

In other words: write an article like this, then get the hell out of New York.
posted by grounded at 10:06 PM on August 11, 2010


Isn't the lack of entertaining rich folk a Sturgeon's law type thing? We only remember the entertaining ones.

And what with privacy now, maybe in 10, 20 years we'll hear about how some eccentric tried to stop anthropomorphically induced global climate change by flying obsessively in order to try to leave contrails across the planet to bounce back solar warming? and inadvertantly accomplish their goal but by some completely unexpected means (beans!)
posted by porpoise at 10:25 PM on August 11, 2010


That article calling the brother sort of dumb seems out of date. At the time the article came out in 1998, Seagrams was worth about $30 a share. Two years later, it was sold to Vivendi with a valuation of $77 a share.

There was a stock market collapse soon afterwards.

Seems like a pretty smart fellow to me.
posted by eye of newt at 10:27 PM on August 11, 2010



I don't work in the financial sector, but I'm fairly sure the author doesn't know what "order of magnitude" means.


According to the Canadian press, yes Eddie Jr would have had 2.5 Trillion dollars if he hadn't fucked it away to hang with musicians. OK, 250 Billion. But dude did burn through a LOT of money on those shitty deals.
posted by GuyZero at 10:45 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


I propose we tag links to bad poetry with the word Vogon.

Just to protect the unwary.
posted by quarsan at 11:37 PM on August 11, 2010


At the time the article came out in 1998, Seagrams was worth about $30 a share. Two years later, it was sold to Vivendi with a valuation of $77 a share.

That doesn't mean Junior is clever. That only means that the then-boss of Vivendi, affectionately known in France as J6M (for "Jean-Marie Messier, moi-même, maître du monde", that is, "Jean-Marie Messier, myself, master of the world"), is even dumber.
posted by Skeptic at 11:58 PM on August 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


I propose we tag links to bad poetry with the word Vogon.

That would be very unfair to England's Civil Service.
posted by srboisvert at 12:44 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


snarkity snark snark,
all on a lark
and amounting to nothing
though it hits its mark

Carryon.
posted by perspicio at 1:09 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


did somebody call?
posted by onalark at 1:22 AM on August 12, 2010 [3 favorites]


Oh, thank goodness. I thought this was about a new reality show I was going to have to hear about for the next five years. Carry on!

Don't jinx it..
posted by cj_ at 1:28 AM on August 12, 2010


The world will be a better place when it's not possible for sleazy con artists to steal huge sums of cash from those who are unintelligent and very wealthy. And that will only happen when the government takes all those squandered fortunes away from those who are unintelligent and very wealthy and spends it on those who really need it.
posted by koeselitz at 1:45 AM on August 12, 2010 [7 favorites]


Koeselitz, a friend of mine who is a criminal lawyer once explained to me that the point of the criminal justice system is to take money away from criminals, who are bad types, and to recycle it into society through lawyers' fees. It's a sort of tax on crime. I suppose you might say a similar thing about cultists: they are taxed for their stupidity and their money, formerly locked up in family trusts, re-enters society after being spent by the cult leaders.
posted by Joe in Australia at 2:54 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


In most respects, your basic rich person today is way richer than say a medieval baron.

So are most of us, now that you mention it.


I think the point is that today's rich person is richer than a medieval baron in proportion to the poorest at the time. The distance between rich and poor has...well, "skyrocketed" is too mild a word.
posted by DU at 4:18 AM on August 12, 2010


Drug dealers do stupid shit with money, and that's all the Bronfmans are.
posted by fourcheesemac at 4:57 AM on August 12, 2010


If you're gonna use the pretentious phrase 'equestrian', it behooves you to use it correctly - equestrienne for a woman.
posted by wilful at 5:29 AM on August 12, 2010


At the time the article came out in 1998, Seagrams was worth about $30 a share. Two years later, it was sold to Vivendi with a valuation of $77 a share.

That doesn't mean Junior is clever. That only means that the then-boss of Vivendi, affectionately known in France as J6M (for "Jean-Marie Messier, moi-même, maître du monde", that is, "Jean-Marie Messier, myself, master of the world"), is even dumber.


the deal was done in stock - so he got his $77/share with Vivendi trading at 88/share, the current share price is 18.25

both messier and bronfman made some truly terrible decisions during that time period.
posted by JPD at 5:31 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yet it seems like all rich people can do these days is buy enormous houses

I think you overestimate the generosity of the old time robber barons, and underestimate the philanthropy of some wealthy contemporaries. Not that many of the wealthiest couldn't still do a lot more, of course, but things like Warren Buffet challenging billionaires to give half their net worth to charity might make a difference in many people's lives.
posted by aught at 5:43 AM on August 12, 2010


Sara is a poet,

Ouch; not really. I'd have given her a kind C in undergrad creative writing and gently suggested a major other than English.
posted by aught at 5:46 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


(I post all this because I think Gates are the best model for how rich people today should behave)

Market fixing? The way Seattle Computing was treated? The Prof who contracted with Bill to enter the code for BASIC was treated?

How the rich get rich is a more important metric than what they do once rich.
posted by rough ashlar at 6:41 AM on August 12, 2010


In terms of rich people spending their money on awesome and ridiculous things, Bruce Wayne holds the gold standard.

I like to think I'd blow it on an inner-city school experiment, hiring the best teachers from back when I taught in a particularly tough neighborhood. But realistically, I just want a motherfucking Batcave.
posted by honeydew at 6:48 AM on August 12, 2010 [3 favorites]


I just want a motherfucking Batcave.

And because today is better than yesterday - your wish to consume is granted!
http://www.m.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-TRIO-Super-Friends-Batcave/dp/B00388F4IE
http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Imaginext-Super-Friends-Batcave/dp/B0015KSU9W

And this one has a bat-atari.
http://www.amazon.com/Batmans-Batcave-Michael-Keaton-Nicholson/dp/B0026KVZ3I
(As I remember this was pushed in the pre-show. Either on the screen or via a flyer.)
posted by rough ashlar at 7:04 AM on August 12, 2010


She wore rings on her fingers, yet I could not see her toes
As out of the clutter she sank and rose,
A lady – in the back of a truck.


Um... um...
posted by steambadger at 8:55 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Ugh. I knew several people - all driven, all assholes - in the early 90s who were into these ESP phone calls and motivational seminars. This post explains a lot.

At first the guys were like, no no, we have 6 a.m. calls to motivate us during our telecom training. Then they'd tell me weird things, like I was redirecting their energies by not becoming involved, thus dooming their business to fail. The next thing I knew, nobody was getting hired on the team that wasn't into it. Until today, I'd never heard the term "NXIVM" but the word Vanguard got bandied around some, mostly in overheard conversations from the next room. (How bizarre that it's pronounced like the little purple pill that helps with heartburn... but I digress.)

The last straw came when one of these guys who was the team leader, Rusty, went in with his spiel to a new client who'd hired the company to set up all the digital projectors within a certain region for a national movie theater chain.

When the client told him he was only interested in fiber-optic cable networking and not some new-age bullshit speech, dude quit the job and tore up the contract on the spot on behalf of all his employees. Of course, this only happened after they'd loaded up several thousand dollars' worth of equipment and driven from Texas to Connecticut with it, which really, REALLY sucked. Shortly after that, my ex, who was the crazy guy's business partner, stopped working with him. I have no idea what happened to Rusty. I'm sure he's still an asshole, but hopefully he's not involved with this shit any more and at least alive, unlike some other poor folks mentioned upthread.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:56 AM on August 12, 2010 [4 favorites]


Mo' money, mo' problems.

Fo' realz.
posted by dry white toast at 9:28 AM on August 12, 2010


I just want a motherfucking Batcave.

And because today is better than yesterday - your wish to consume is granted!
http://www.m.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-TRIO-Super-Friends-Batcave/dp/B00388F4IE
http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Imaginext-Super-Friends-Batcave/dp/B0015KSU9W

And this one has a bat-atari.
http://www.amazon.com/Batmans-Batcave-Michael-Keaton-Nicholson/dp/B0026KVZ3I
(As I remember this was pushed in the pre-show. Either on the screen or via a flyer.)


I cannot express how crushinlgy disappointed I was to find that these were all Lego toys and not in fact pre-fabbed batman treehouses.
posted by edbles at 10:25 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Ahh the If You Where Filithy Rich game!


I hadn't thought about it before, but fully-funding and founding some experimental school in Upstate New York sounds boss. Be all old-world and dark wood and have dorms and shape* bright young minds at no cost to them.

* By which I mean "Honing their Mutant Abilities"
posted by The Whelk at 10:27 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


As Sara Bronfman told a Forbes reporter in 2003 after earning the sash of a NXIVM coach, "Coming from a family where I've never had to earn anything before in my life, [it] was a very, very moving experience for me to be awarded this yellow sash. It was the first thing that I had earned on just my merits."

Poor little rich girls indeed. I find the above paragraph incredibly sad - and wonder if there is any way being a scion to a family like that can NOT screw you up entirely.
posted by xetere at 10:37 AM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


From the Rick Ross link, I landed at a page which quotes the suicide note of a NXIVM member (Kristin Snyder, also mentioned in a comment above):

"I attended a course called Executive Success Programs . . . based out of Anchorage, AK, and Albany, NY. I was brainwashed and my emotional center of the brain was killed/turned off. I still have feeling in my external skin, but my internal organs are rotting. . . . I am sorry life, I didn't know I was already dead. May we persist into the future."

That may be one of the most harrowing things I have ever read.
posted by ajourneyroundmyskull at 11:24 AM on August 12, 2010


I too read the poetry and now I'm afraid I have to go and pour bleach in my eyes. Sweet jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick, I didn't think there really was Vogon poetry in the world.

Seriously, I had a physical reaction to the poetry. Like I'd been shown a photo of a car crash victim.
posted by Bookhouse at 1:14 PM on August 12, 2010


“For she who bares the fruit of mankind?"

Nude rude food, dude.
posted by Sparx at 3:23 PM on August 12, 2010


Poor little rich girls indeed. I find the above paragraph incredibly sad - and wonder if there is any way being a scion to a family like that can NOT screw you up entirely.

The mega-rich ought to put their children into fosterage, much like (come to think of it) medieval barons. They could get a PI to detect a young employee in one of their domains who's looking to adopt a child into the family, and strike a secret deal. If a typical family would raise the kid to lead a real life -- to do the laundry, take "No" for an answer, wait for the bathroom in the mornings, do his own homework -- he would stand a chance of being able to handle the kind of money that he'd suddenly learn he was entitled to at age 21.
posted by Countess Elena at 5:26 PM on August 12, 2010


If a typical family would raise the kid to lead a real life -- to do the laundry, take "No" for an answer, wait for the bathroom in the mornings, do his own homework -- he would stand a chance of being able to handle the kind of money that he'd suddenly learn he was entitled to at age 21.

Or we could just crank up the estate tax and eliminate inherited wealth altogether. W00t!
posted by rdc at 5:51 PM on August 12, 2010 [3 favorites]


Please, can anyone find more examples of Sara's poetry? I haven't had any luck, and it's killing me. That poem is so, so, so bad. Like, genius bad. I have to have more.
posted by sunnichka at 9:45 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


I find the above paragraph incredibly sad - and wonder if there is any way being a scion to a family like that can NOT screw you up entirely.

Yeah, this makes me realize something that the professional con artist types no doubt know from day one: the experience of being uber-wealthy means for some not having to develop certain kinds of defences – making them all the easier to exploit.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:27 AM on August 13, 2010


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