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August 12, 2010 12:00 PM   Subscribe

HELVETICTOC A time-full tribute to a timeless typeface.
posted by Venadium (49 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
...unless you don't have Helvetica, in which case it's a timefull tribute to Arial :D
posted by sonic meat machine at 12:02 PM on August 12, 2010 [4 favorites]


...unless you don't have Helvetica, in which case it's a timefull tribute to Arial :D

Damnit you stole my line.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 12:03 PM on August 12, 2010


Seriously, web font fail. That is just about the opposite of what a tribute to Helvetica should do.
posted by zjacreman at 12:03 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


Christ, it even suggests Arial as an alternative in the style sheet. No Helvetica purist, he.
posted by equalpants at 12:04 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


I am disappointed that this turned out not to be a font based parody of Ke$ha.
posted by beepbeepboopboop at 12:04 PM on August 12, 2010 [12 favorites]


Helvetica doesn't have numerals?
posted by DU at 12:05 PM on August 12, 2010


Flag HTML/Display error?
posted by zjacreman at 12:06 PM on August 12, 2010


Not enough Ke$ha.
posted by special-k at 12:07 PM on August 12, 2010


Put this on my fucking wrist.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 12:08 PM on August 12, 2010


What, no Franklin Gothic love?!
posted by nomadicink at 12:08 PM on August 12, 2010


Hellovaletdownica.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 12:11 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


I will not be happy until I have my COMICTOC.
posted by koeselitz at 12:12 PM on August 12, 2010


I will not be happy until I have my COMICTOC.

I will not be an elitist grid-junkie until I have my Universtoc.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 12:15 PM on August 12, 2010


"Hmmmm, it's something font-related, but I guess I can't see it because of my NoScript. *view source* Wow, nothing here but a JavaScript. *click through to look at .js code* Nooooo idea what this means, but somebody posted it to the front page of MetaFilter, and it's font-related, so it's probably pretty cool. I like fonts. I guess I can take a look. *NoScript -> Temporarily allow helvetictoc.com* Oh, you've got to be kidding me."
posted by Gator at 12:17 PM on August 12, 2010 [3 favorites]


My Ubuntu box doesn't even have Arial (I don't think) so it's displaying in whatever sans font that it finds.
posted by octothorpe at 12:17 PM on August 12, 2010


Wake up in the morning, feelin like Max Miedinger
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 12:20 PM on August 12, 2010


The only font I have installed is Bookman Old Style so I don't get this either.

/wheedles off to tweedy lair
posted by shakespeherian at 12:28 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


for mac only?
posted by blue_beetle at 12:30 PM on August 12, 2010


The only way a font be less interesting to me and have a more enigmatically massive internet cult following would be if all the characters were made out of strips of bacon.
posted by resiny at 12:31 PM on August 12, 2010 [4 favorites]


Ugh, ENOUGH already. Let's move on. Helvetica is a fine typeface, but there are so many other wonderful faces worthy of praise, expensive hipster t-shirts and pretentious websites.

Helvetica is the Dave Eggers of type. Savvy folk like to show how savvy they are by proclaiming their love for it. Except by doing so they show that they are only merely aware of typography, but not actually interested in it.

Also, if that site is supposed to showcase the typeface, why is it in all caps? If Helvetica has any charm, its in the lower case letters, IMHO.

Also, would love to see metaclock or universtime
posted by jnrussell at 12:33 PM on August 12, 2010 [8 favorites]


With this post, I believe Metafilter now officially has more Font Geekery threads than Lady GaGa threads, no mean feat.
posted by Panjandrum at 12:35 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


I have no doubt in my mind that we will find a way to combine the two.
posted by The Whelk at 12:38 PM on August 12, 2010


Wow, I really didn't expect everyone to hate this so much. Sorry guys.
posted by Venadium at 12:40 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's nice that the javascript code is open (MIT license.) but I think it would be better in softer colours and without all the CAPITAL LETTERS.

It's interesting that it requires a lot more code to produce a fuzzy time than an accurate one, I can imagine a few other places where this could provide a subtle touch for things like blog post times which don't need to be to the second-perfect.
posted by Lanark at 1:00 PM on August 12, 2010


This is better. The linear mode especially.
posted by schmod at 1:02 PM on August 12, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm fairly sure my machine lacks Helvetica, but I like this.
... even if it's just because I'm anxiously waiting for the clock to strike 4:30 so that I can leave work to go to Anna's Taqueria for excellent burritos.
posted by lizzicide at 1:07 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


I have no doubt in my mind that we will find a way to combine the two.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHCu28bfxSI

http://tomixgrafix.wordpress.com/2009/11/27/lady-gaga-typography/
posted by jnrussell at 1:13 PM on August 12, 2010


Blerg. I forgot the HTML tags on this links. Sorry everyone!
posted by jnrussell at 1:15 PM on August 12, 2010


...unless you don't have Helvetica, in which case it's a timefull tribute to Arial :D

Here's a nickel, kid. Get yourself a better computer.
posted by gyc at 1:18 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


The typeface for lazy designers.
posted by sciurus at 1:23 PM on August 12, 2010


gyc: “Here's a nickel, kid. Get yourself a better computer.”

Ah, wonderful – the elitist Apple jerks are here.
posted by koeselitz at 1:31 PM on August 12, 2010


Holding out for the Gil Sans /Lady Gaga mash up.
posted by shothotbot at 1:35 PM on August 12, 2010


Do you think we should tell them what "precisely" means? I don't really wanna ruin the moment, you know, but man, how embarrassing.
posted by thesmophoron at 1:42 PM on August 12, 2010


The video for Teeth should be based on Eric Gill's diaries. And banned in twelve countries.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:43 PM on August 12, 2010


Eric Gill's diaries

Some things are too depraved even for GaGa.
posted by zjacreman at 1:49 PM on August 12, 2010


Wake up in the morning feeling like Grotesk
(Hey what up type)
Grab my angles, set my line-height, gonna hit this desk
(Let's go)
Before I leave, hit delete on my Arial Black
'Cause when you use me in designs they ain't comin' back

I'm talking giving big R some toes toes,
Put some overshoot on our O's, O's
Trying out really round bowls, bowls
Flat-topping all of our lowercase t's, t's
Spurs droppin' off majuscule G's
Tryin' be a little be mathy

Don't stop, Make it sans-
Serif, blow my hinting up
Tonight, my x-height
Makes reading me just right
Tick tock, on the clock,
But Swiss design don't stop, no

Ain't got a serif in world, but got plenty of spurs
Ain't got no tracking on my letters, kerning already purrs
And now, the words are lining up cause they hear we got fans
But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Comic Sans

I'm talkin' body errybody being made bold, bold
Garamond's looking so old, old
All my style Arial just stole, stole

Now, Zapfino on your giveaway coasters,
I'm talkin' 'bout Trajan on all your posters,
Or Papyrus if it's gonna be roasted
Papyrus if it's gonna be toasted

<chorus>

You type me up
In extra-bold
Apostrophes
Like a grocer

With underline
And all oblique
SOME EXTRA CAPS
Yeah you type me

Yeah modern style don't start 'til I'm typed in.

<chorus>
posted by soma lkzx at 1:53 PM on August 12, 2010 [24 favorites]


we never need to type or post anything ever again.
posted by The Whelk at 1:55 PM on August 12, 2010


100 lines of code for the purpose of getting Ke$ha stuck in my head.

Again.
posted by Galen at 1:55 PM on August 12, 2010


I call dibs on a UniversRefrain™ web clock that speaks the time in German.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:56 PM on August 12, 2010


This sucks. Boo.
posted by sveskemus at 2:05 PM on August 12, 2010


Soma Lkzx, that is the best thing I have ever seen, and I am sending it to my mother.
posted by NoraReed at 2:47 PM on August 12, 2010


Ah, wonderful – the elitist Apple jerks are here.

And they're recycling Unix jokes, for some reason.
posted by twirlip at 2:52 PM on August 12, 2010


I just became a soma lkzx fanboy.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:53 PM on August 12, 2010


Helvetica The World is an extension for Safari that some of you will love, and some of you will hate.

Ditto Comic Sans Be Gone.
posted by djgh at 2:55 PM on August 12, 2010


Wasn't Helvetica originally designed for Microsoft Bob?
posted by mazola at 3:01 PM on August 12, 2010


Soma Lkzx, that is the best thing I have ever seen, and I am sending it to my mother.

She will be shocked, catch the pancakes!!
posted by soma lkzx at 3:55 PM on August 12, 2010


So this guy pushes a JavaScript Date object through a teensy function that a CompSci I student could write and calls it a tribute?

There's a strip mall down the street from me that's a tribute to Helvetica, too.
posted by spamguy at 5:38 PM on August 12, 2010 [1 favorite]


Helvetica’s nice and all, but Akzidenz Grotesk is the best neo-grotesque type family.
posted by nicepersonality at 7:19 AM on August 13, 2010


Akzidenz is old enough not to need the neo- prefix.
posted by zjacreman at 11:49 AM on August 13, 2010


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