Not having conversations with your kids about race, about perceptions of other people, doesn't stop them from forming opinions or in some cases biases. [...] Many of the experts we talked to pointed out that it's not enough to say to a child, "We are all the same, and everyone should be treated equally," and then never talk about it again. And it's not enough to assume your child is color-blind and therefore not talk about it at all. Kids receive messages from so many places these days, parents have to counter those messages, or engage with their kids about those messages and how to interpret them.
I've encountered this in my own work - I can say without hesitation that I have attended (and recently facilitated) more anti-racism training than anyone I know. I spent three years in graduate school focusing on these very issues. Nevertheless, when I'm at a party with people I don't know, who don't know me, and the issue of race comes up - there's almost always someone there who's ready to inform me that - since I'm a white person - I have to do my own work, I have a hard mountain to climb, I'm a racist, and if I want to know anything at all about my own racism I have to attend an anti-racism training.So correct them. "I understand why you might assume I haven't thought about this, but I've done some work in this area. [List examples if needed.] I understand it's a neverending journey though."
Their default setting is, "This white person doesn't know shit about racism, they've never given it a passing thought, their invisible knapsack remains unexamined, their dominant privilege blinds them to the plight of the other, etc." The only thing that might lead them to think this about me is my skin color.Congratulations, you've felt a tiny little bit of what a racist assumption feels like. It fucking stings, huh?
Introducing the notion of this thing is bad, and you are this bad thing, even when you think you aren't into the human psyche can introduce some less than wonderful outcomes for some groups of people, particularly introspective ones... Granted, some folks have a near-infinite capacity for self-flagellation, but it isn't something I would bet on as a whole.So don't.
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posted by jaduncan at 2:01 AM on August 16, 2010