Jesus decided to visit his old buddy St. Peter. He strolled out to the Pearly Gates and noticed a long line of people waiting to get in. St. Peter was ecstatic to see him. "Oh, thank God -- err, I mean 'thank YOU' -- someone showed up!"
"Listen, Jesus, there's a huge line of people out here. I'm beat. Could you take over for a few minutes so I can take a break? I'd be ever so grateful!"
St. Peter went off for a smoke-and-a-poke.
Jesus handled the line of people, yakking it up, as he processed those able to clear the entry requirements.
Eventually the line dwindled to one tired, old man.
Jesus: "So, what did you do for a living when on Earth?"
"I was a carpenter," the old man replied.
Jesus's ears pricked up. "Ah," he said. "Did you have a wife or any children?"
"I had one son, but I lost him."
Jesus continued: "Ah, a terrible loss. Tell me, what did he look like?"
"Well," said the old man, "he looked just like any other boy, I guess, except he had nails and holes in his hands and his feet."
Jesus flung his arms in the air. "DAD?"
The Pope arrives in heaven, where St. Peter awaites him. St. Peter asks who he is.
The Pope: "I am the pope."
St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."
The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."
St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me."
The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church..."
St. Peter: "The Catholic church. Never heard of it. Wait, I'll check with the boss."
St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.
St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth."
God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of. Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)
Jesus: "Yes father, what's up?"
God and St. Peter explain the situation.
Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."
Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.
Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I started 2000 years ago? It still exists!"
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