Two thoroughly inebriated men were driving like mad in an automobile. "Shay," one fumbled his words, "be sure to turn out for that bridge that's coming down the road toward us."Being drunk is funny. Driving drunk is funny. Being blind drunk and driving like mad is funny. And it specifies that they were driving in an automobile, just in case you figured they were whipping along in a buggy behind a couple of horses. And drivers turn out (rather than simply turn) for something?
"What do you mean, me turn out? the other retorted. "I thought you were drivin'."
A woman trying to maneuver her sedan out of a parking space banged into the car ahead, then into the car behind and finally, pulling into the street, struck a passing delivery truck. A policeman who had been watching approached her. "Let's see your license," he demanded.Women can't drive. Women drivers are goofy. Women don't quite get the law. Police officers are men. You can call a police officer silly without getting dragged out of the car and tased. No concern for the physical condition of the people involved, because car accidents are wacky.
"Don't be silly, officer," she said. "Who'd give me a license?"
Upon his arrival at the office, a Los Angeles businessman learned that he must catch a noon train to Fresno. His wife had friends there and he knew that she would want to accompany him. To find her was the problem, since she had gone shopping and didn't expect to be home before evening.He has a job; she has none. She spends her days shopping with his money. When she is out of the house, there's no way to communicate with her. When he is away from the office, they don't call him to tell him anything important. She has separate "charge accounts" at department stores that he can simply suspend with a phone call. If she can't shop, she will cry and call him for help instead of calling the credit association or bank or whatever. And he can "square it" with her by taking her on a fucking train trip to Fresno.
Then he remembered that she had charge accounts at several department stores. He dialed the merchants' credit association and requested that they have all retail members suspend his wife's accounts immediately. In less than an hour his wife was phoning him in teears. He squared things by telling her to pack her bags and meet him at the station.
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Is that so wrong?
Also: is this cartoon "better than that"?
posted by chavenet at 10:05 AM on August 27, 2010 [2 favorites]