Polish this!

September 1, 2010 4:37 PM

50 Painted Nail Designs [via: buzzfeed] A selection of painted nail designs, ranging from the artistic to geeky.
posted by Fizz (32 comments total)

Love the penguins and #50.

Tokyo nail show is brilliant though, some are really works of art.
posted by shinybaum at 4:41 PM on September 1, 2010

Nice addition shinybaum.
posted by Fizz at 4:44 PM on September 1, 2010

I've never cared for painted nails. But number 19 won me over.
posted by charlesminus at 4:44 PM on September 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

I've never cared for painted nails. But number 19 won me over.

Same here. I was scrolling through thinking "eww" and rolling my eyes until I saw number 19. Cool. (Or maybe I'm just very ready for my kids to go back to school.)
posted by headnsouth at 4:49 PM on September 1, 2010

The Cheshire cat, Apple, and the penguin one. :D And pretty much any one that involves playing with bringing the nails together to make an image. Hold 8 fingers together for a panorama!
Personally can't stand having painted nails though. Having flowers and beads sticking off of them would definitely induce a frenzy of peeling and scraping.
posted by efio at 5:02 PM on September 1, 2010

The hands in number 6 need some moisturizer, stat.
posted by angrycat at 5:04 PM on September 1, 2010

Girls are weird.
posted by biggity at 5:08 PM on September 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

Girls are weird.

That seems like an unwarranted statement. This is no more weird than anyone who has a tattoo or guys who put on face-paint for a football game. Simply some artistic expression.
posted by Fizz at 5:13 PM on September 1, 2010

Do not want.

I thought this might be cool but it made me kinda nauseated.
posted by jeoc at 5:15 PM on September 1, 2010

All I've got is this hammer ...
posted by subgear at 5:19 PM on September 1, 2010

Girls are weird.

Seriously. Some of these are really cute and/or neat in their attention to detail, but the fact that so many women spend so much money on getting their nails done completely baffles me, and always has. I've never heard a (straight) man compliment a woman on her exquisite manicure. Or her intricately-blended multicolored makeup job, for that matter. And how does anybody get anything done with those long corn-chip nails? And what's the deal with airline food?

(When I saw this post about painted nails, I was hoping it was another cool micro-art post about miniature paintings on nailheads, or something like that.)
posted by Gator at 5:21 PM on September 1, 2010

the fact that so many women spend so much money on getting their nails done completely baffles me, and always has. I've never heard a (straight) man compliment a woman on her exquisite manicure. Or her intricately-blended multicolored makeup job, for that matter

Gator, presumably women who have their fingernails and toenails painted, like other people who get tattoos, get special paint jobs for their cars, hunt for ties with particular patterns, or otherwise do something decorative their persons or property, are expressing themselves. I'm sure you understand that is a goal in and of itself.
posted by bearwife at 5:29 PM on September 1, 2010 [7 favorites]

decorative to their . . .
posted by bearwife at 5:30 PM on September 1, 2010

I never do manicures, but I agree that #19 is awesome.
posted by misha at 5:34 PM on September 1, 2010

Some of these are really cute and/or neat in their attention to detail, but the fact that so many women spend so much money on getting their nails done completely baffles me, and always has. I've never heard a (straight) man compliment a woman on her exquisite manicure. Or her intricately-blended multicolored makeup job, for that matter.

Yeah, and why on earth would a woman do anything if no straight man would appreciate it. It's almost as if women might have interests of their own!

I have no interest in an elaborate manicure, but I would really like to do something awesome and fancy on my toes. I wonder who you get to do crazy nail art like that.
posted by craichead at 5:39 PM on September 1, 2010 [8 favorites]

If you click on the names on this nail art gallery page there's some wicked cool stuff. Or you can be lazy and get pre-painted ones.

I've never painted my nails but men with chipped black polish hold a place in my heart.

I've never heard a (straight) man compliment a woman on her exquisite manicure.

Some people do stuff without men approving of it being the aim. No straight man has ever complimented my bizarre sock collection either and some even have googly eyes on them. Men are weird. And uncomplimentaryish.
posted by shinybaum at 5:40 PM on September 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

but the fact that so many women spend so much money on getting their nails done completely baffles me, and always has. I've never heard a (straight) man compliment a woman on her exquisite manicure.

Oh so we should only be doing and spending money on things that straight men would approve of or compliment us on? Or how about we don't always give a shit what men think and we just do things for ourselves that we enjoy doing. When I'm perusing to buy a new pair of slip on vans, I don't think to myself "What will the straight men think of these?" And I spend a lot of money on slip on vans. Not everything we do is for the sole purpose of finding a mate. Also, a lot of women who get manicures and the like enjoy the process of being pampered.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 5:45 PM on September 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

It's not even a matter of straight or not straight. Men enhance, whatever word you want to use, they change their appearance just as much as women do.

Tattoos, face-paint, hair, etc. All of us change our appearance in some way or another, be it the body itself or what we adorn outside of our bodies.
posted by Fizz at 5:54 PM on September 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

I get the feeling the more professional ones are just to show off, like if you spend eight hours a day doing nails and you get a reputation for intricate and accurate work and then it all gets competitive and suddenly you're shaving a poodle to look like a panda bear and 300 other women are totally jealous because you got first prize in the show and the blog wars and flameouts start and then someone is sending you death threats because you ripped off their panda design for Tokyo Expo 2010 only you totally came up with that idea on your own and anyway that poodle totally enjoys being dressed as a ninja turtle honestly.

The other ones are just funky, like coloured shoelaces in your docs in the 90s. Also if young hollywood males would stop landscaping their eyebrows I would be a lot less unsettled as a person, thanks in advance.
posted by shinybaum at 5:57 PM on September 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

When I was in art school my boyfriend used to paint tiny Mondrians on my nails. It was wonderful. I like nail polish - it was one of my New Years resolutions, this year: wear more nail polish (I am all about the cheap, simple and easily achieved New Years resolutions.) Nail polish is fun. It's a bonding thing if you do it with another person, boy or girl, and even if you just do it alone once it's done you keep looking down at your nails and thinking, oooh! Green nails! Wow! Cool! And professional manicures are a lovely pampering thing. I've had two in my life and that was probably enough but I can see why people like them.
posted by mygothlaundry at 5:58 PM on September 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

Men notice these things, though we don't always say something. I am actually kind of picky about nails - they say something about a woman. Are they in good shape? Bitten? Too long, too short? Too glitzy, tacky? Too squared off? (This goes both ways, ladies - judge a man by his shoes.)

These were fun to look at - I like the geekier or more subtle ones...the pencil erasers and the binary numbers come to mind; fun, clean, simple, expressive, uncluttered.
posted by Xoebe at 6:03 PM on September 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

A lot of these were fun to look at (4, 19, 21, 26, 30, and 43) but I can't imagine keeping my fingernails any longer than they are right now because they just get in the way. But my toenails get painted every damn cool colour I can find. Don't ask me how long it took to find the precise shade of yellow I was looking for this summer. Lemon-candy yellow: not quite right. Butter yellow: perfect! And that Smurf blue was surprisingly satisfying, too.
posted by maudlin at 6:31 PM on September 1, 2010

Damn, I need a pedicure.
posted by Madamina at 6:53 PM on September 1, 2010

Can't ever imagine doing this, as I am freaked out by professional pedi- or manicures--had one for my wedding, never again.

But, I applaud all the ways that people seek to art-ify their lives (though the name brand junkfood ones make me squirm a bit).

Similarly, I love elaborate but homemade Christmas yard decorations; they always seem to tell a story of someone with a burning need to create art, but no "official" outlet.

See also: art cars, some tattoos, miniature building, making airplanes out of beer cans, whittling, etc. etc.
posted by emjaybee at 7:29 PM on September 1, 2010

Men notice these things, though we don't always say something. I am actually kind of picky about nails - they say something about a woman. Are they in good shape? Bitten? Too long, too short? Too glitzy, tacky? Too squared off?

What about too much work?

(my nails, between labwork, housework, and gardening are rather pitiful)
posted by francesca too at 8:16 PM on September 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

I keep thinking: Homer Simpson's been up someone's nose. Munch's The Scream has been digging for boogers. That lady picks her nose with a can of RC Cola!
posted by not_on_display at 8:40 PM on September 1, 2010

Is 19 the pencils? Because that was the only one that didn't weird me out.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 10:27 PM on September 1, 2010

eek 6 and 17 have some really gross spraytan orange on the skin. squick squick yuck
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:01 PM on September 1, 2010

These are very cool, but absolutely inaccessible to me, as I only paint my nails so I don't eat them.

It doesn't work. I have enormous fun peeling off the colour, then I chew on my fingers.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 2:41 AM on September 2, 2010

Sushi nails! Fabulous. That right there is the only time I've ever wanted to be Katy Perry.
posted by fiercecupcake at 7:07 AM on September 2, 2010

Some of these are really cool. I especially liked the Batman ones and the snake with the cute little forked tongue on the thumb. It seems like it would be fun to have something like that done sometime.

Nail art as self-expression aside however, the whole elaborate grooming of this one little part of your body thing has always struck me as Yet Another Way to Keep Women Down. I've been told many times that people will judge me based on the state of my manicure (if that's true - I am doomed). It's a perfect way to keep women busy doing nothing of significance (nail polish chips almost instantaneously and chipped nail polish is Unacceptable) or spend her money on something insignificant (having someone else fix the chips at $15 a pop). So yeah, I'm all for decorating your nails if that's what you want to do, but I think it should be perfectly socially acceptable if, as a woman, you prefer to spend your time and money doing something else.
posted by Jess the Mess at 10:27 AM on September 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

A lot of the truly elaborate ones here were done for trade shows. I recognise a lot of the flower/jewel bedecked ones as the work of the Nfu Oh professional team (Nfu Oh are well known for their boundary-pushing nail art and really fantastic polishes). A few here feature elements achieved with Konad, which is easy as pie once you get the hang of it.

(Truly, I have zero talent for fiddly things and this was my first go with Konad. You can see the same plate used in the FPP's #43 on my thumb. Once you get the hang of placement, it becomes the work of about 10 minutes to do both hands. And who wouldn't enjoy having this on their nails? No-one, says I.)

Messing about with nailpolish occupies the same headspace to me as knitting or half an hour of Fallout 3 - something i can sit quietly and do to relax for a bit while I think or listen to music. With the added bonus that I tend to forget i've done it and am mildly startled and pleased when I catch sight of my nails again (your absent-minded mileage may vary here).
posted by pseudonymph at 5:37 AM on September 3, 2010