Man Chops Off Testicle in Job Protest

August 21, 2001 7:38 AM

Man Chops Off Testicle in Job Protest LIMA, Peru (Reuters) - A Peruvian man who last year sliced off his penis to draw attention to his jobless plight on Monday chopped off one of his testicles in front of the parliament building, police and hospital officials said.

for the love of all that is sacred and pure, i can't come up with the mandatory witty comment on this one.
posted by adampsyche (27 comments total)

"Firefighters rushed over to Veliz, who was bleeding heavily, and he was taken to a hospital where doctors said he suffered a 'traumatic castration' of the right testicle."

Who needs a witty comment when you have quotes like this?
posted by BurnedEve at 7:49 AM on August 21, 2001

Man Quits Job in Testicle Protest - A Peruvian man who last year destroyed his office to draw attention to his testicular plight on Monday resigned from his job in front of the funkadelic building, Bootsy Collins and George Clinton said.
posted by quonsar at 7:50 AM on August 21, 2001

Man Quits Job in Testicle Protest - A Peruvian man who last year destroyed his office to draw attention to his testicular plight on Monday resigned from his job in front of the funkadelic building, Bootsy Collins and George Clinton said.
posted by quonsar at 7:52 AM on August 21, 2001

well, i bolloxed THAT all up...never mind....
posted by quonsar at 7:52 AM on August 21, 2001

And he thinks having no dick and just one ball (not to mention the international publicity) is going to help his job prospects??
posted by Karl at 7:57 AM on August 21, 2001

It takes balls to do something like that.
posted by Kino at 7:59 AM on August 21, 2001

i hate my job, but i like my...stuff.

i am asking for a raise, though. maybe i should print this story and post it in the office on the bb.
posted by adampsyche at 8:01 AM on August 21, 2001

Peruvians are tough bastards alright. Asians only cut off fingers.
posted by Brilliantcrank at 8:15 AM on August 21, 2001

The only thing i cut when i'm outa work is my beer expenditure. How i love the word 'civilized' - means we get to keep all our digits and not look like pussies.
posted by Kino at 8:27 AM on August 21, 2001

...Despite his mutilation, Viera said Veliz could still enjoy ''a normal sex life.''

Something tells me that will never be possible for this guy, regardless of the plumbing.
posted by pardonyou? at 8:51 AM on August 21, 2001

Hey, this guy is alright!
posted by OneBallJay at 8:56 AM on August 21, 2001

In Peru today a man attempted to rob a bank by holding one of his testicles hostage.

"Don't come any closer!" he cried, holding a straight razor perilously close to his scrotum. "I'll cut this testicle right off!"

Several people were apparently injured in the rush to be the first to take a step forward.

good to be back in the land of MetaFilter, where scro-tests are always the order of the day.

Pressing the shiny red candy-like button

k
posted by Kafkaesque at 8:58 AM on August 21, 2001

I'm still waiting for the other ball to drop.
posted by aaronchristy at 9:03 AM on August 21, 2001

I guess 'sperm donor' is way down on his list of job possibilities now......
posted by Oriole Adams at 9:06 AM on August 21, 2001

Apparently no one told him that MetaFilter was back up. I know it's made my day a little less sucky.

MetaFilter: Put the knife away, jobless psycho!

posted by Hankins at 9:09 AM on August 21, 2001

Hmm...after cutting off his penis, isn't cutting off a testicle a little, er, anticlimactic?
posted by rushmc at 10:02 AM on August 21, 2001

ha. yeah. the bloke can only do anti-climax's though.
posted by Kino at 10:33 AM on August 21, 2001

Wonder if he was of asian descent - name: Wun Hung Lo

It's a poor attempt, but the best I can do on a limited budget.
posted by Option1 at 10:49 AM on August 21, 2001

"Wonder if he was of asian descent - name: Wun Hung Lo"

I think not, more likely Sum Dum Fuk
posted by a3matrix at 11:31 AM on August 21, 2001

"Wonder if he was of asian descent - name: Wun Hung Lo"

I think not, more likely Sum Dum Fuk

his name sure isn't Cum of Sum Yung Guy

ba dum dum *crash*
posted by adampsyche at 11:36 AM on August 21, 2001

Oh, c'mon... no one came up with the mandatory "I'd give my right nut for a job" comment yet? Methinks a week or so without MeFi dulls the razor wit. Oooh, I said "razor." Not good in this context.

Kafkaesque: "scro-tests." Fabulous.
posted by apollo at 11:38 AM on August 21, 2001

MetaFilter: Put the knife away, jobless psycho!

Hey, that's cutting just a little bit too close for my tastes...

Is this what I'll be reduced to in a few months? Ugh. I've grown attached to my testicles. I'd hate to part with them...
posted by fooljay at 11:39 AM on August 21, 2001

"Wonder if he was of asian descent - name: Wun Hung Lo"

I think not, more likely Sum Dum Fuk

his name sure isn't Cum of Sum Yung Guy

Indeed. I'm equally certain that his name isn't Juan King either.
posted by Kino at 12:25 PM on August 21, 2001

okay does nobody in these foreign countries understand the point of protest!? it isn't to mutilate yourself! who really cares anyway if Jose Schmose cuts off a finger (or a testicle). i think we should send some of us abroad to teach proper protest techniques. don't you?
posted by wantwit at 12:50 PM on August 21, 2001

speaking of protests, can anyone please find me the picture of the guy making a latte in a seattle starbucks during the wto protests? i have seen it before...

why cut off genetalia when you can consume over-priced coffee and frothed milk with chocolate shavings?
posted by adampsyche at 12:54 PM on August 21, 2001

That's done it.. Now i need one too. In fact, i'd cut off one of my finger for a..
posted by Kino at 2:08 PM on August 21, 2001

He actually had his penis re-attached. So he may indeed have a sex life.
posted by stoneegg21 at 4:14 PM on August 21, 2001