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September 8, 2010 6:20 PM   Subscribe


 
If I had a TARDIS, I'd go back and make myself ask you to dinner. Temporal paradoxes be damned.

Calling Dr. Coulton, Dr. Jonathan Coulton...
posted by gwint at 6:34 PM on September 8, 2010


You were Princess Leia. I was the jibbering slug-creature from Darkon-9 expelling gastric juices all over your metal pants. I was not in costume, just liquored up. You put your cigarette out in my g&t. I think this was some kind of message.
posted by turgid dahlia at 6:45 PM on September 8, 2010 [9 favorites]


The "intergalactic swinger party" listing might be one of the best things I have ever read.
posted by HostBryan at 6:56 PM on September 8, 2010


Motion trackers or it didn't happen.
posted by nomadicink at 6:58 PM on September 8, 2010


An alien, a predator and a marine walk into a swinger's party. The host says "Hey, you two!"
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:00 PM on September 8, 2010 [9 favorites]


Costume options if you go to the swingers party as an Alien: huge queen or non-reproductive drone.
posted by Artw at 7:10 PM on September 8, 2010 [6 favorites]


I saw U, it was incredible!
posted by maxwelton at 7:15 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


HAHAHA, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THEY'RE NERDS
posted by ixohoxi at 7:19 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


I DJ'd at Otakon a couple of months ago, and I started reading the messageboard. There seemed to be two main topics of conversation:

1) I can't get a date with a cosplay girl.

2) People at Otakon smell bad.

I think the two topics were related.
posted by empath at 7:22 PM on September 8, 2010 [3 favorites]


HAHAHA, IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THEY'RE NERDS

No, it's sweet and touching and funny because they're being human.
posted by nomadicink at 7:22 PM on September 8, 2010 [10 favorites]


No, it's sweet and touching because they're nerds.
posted by maryr at 7:25 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


No, it's funny because they're humans.
posted by Greg Nog at 7:27 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


No, it's human because it's sweet and nerdy.
posted by Wataki at 7:31 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: just need a good costumed roughing up.
posted by 445supermag at 7:32 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's nerds.
posted by spilon at 7:53 PM on September 8, 2010


No, it's funny because they're alcoholicx and it's killing their families.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:53 PM on September 8, 2010


No that's some guy in a suit!
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:17 PM on September 8, 2010


No, it's human because it's sweaty nerd touching.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:31 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]


Motion trackers or it didn't happen.

"They're coming all over the god-damn walls!"
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:32 PM on September 8, 2010 [6 favorites]


I'm a sweaty human nerd and I'm touching myself right now.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:47 PM on September 8, 2010


I went to Dragon*Con with my best friend. Wrangled her outfit, which got me backstage at the main costume contest - amazing work there.

Met the guy who did the Big Daddy costume with the functioning drill last year. I guess he sold it to some crazy rich dude in Shanghai, and the shipping alone was $2600. This year, he had a Daft punk costume with working lit helmet programmed in Arduino and custom gold plated gloves. I also found out that, "You can get a double breasted red suit in any size you want. Apparently, they are a Thing."

(My friend and I also had an enormous fight the next day and are not, presently, speaking, but it was still... eh, who am I kidding? Of all the FPPs to get all upset by...)
posted by mordax at 8:50 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


All six of my nipples are tingling in delight!
posted by loquacious at 8:54 PM on September 8, 2010


Hello, Spaceman. I saw you at ConventioCon '10 and would love to reconnect with you! How about some space-sex?

Nice try, Zarflax!
posted by Ratio at 9:02 PM on September 8, 2010 [13 favorites]


Facehugger seeks host for cuddle party. Healthy appetite a must. No snorers, cyborgs.
posted by zippy at 9:07 PM on September 8, 2010 [5 favorites]


The Onion has this covered.
posted by hellojed at 9:26 PM on September 8, 2010


"They're coming all over the god-damn walls!"

Game over man!
posted by Artw at 10:00 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'd be the killjoy at the alien swinger's party.

"Nobody touch nothin'!"
posted by turgid dahlia at 10:16 PM on September 8, 2010


It's some kind of secreted resin.
posted by Artw at 10:44 PM on September 8, 2010 [3 favorites]


Met the guy who did the Big Daddy costume with the functioning drill last year

For those of us who watched wrestling on British TV in the 1980s, I suspect that this is not the Big Daddy that is being talked about.
posted by MuffinMan at 2:54 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


"You were dressed as an burrowing slug-creature. Across the room you gave me Tremors. Later that night I didn't even get penetration with the elephant gun."
posted by longbaugh at 5:03 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


m4m
You - WOW blond wizard. Me - ancient wizard. You were pressing awfully hard into me during our photo. Just wondering if there was a lingering interest. Put your robe color in Subject Line of first email.


Wait, are robe color codes a thing now? My Gods, this explains all the questions I get when I wear my many robes.
posted by The Whelk at 6:43 AM on September 9, 2010


[A few comments removed. Having one noun in common with the ostensible subject of the post does not make a five paragraph spiel about an unrelated subject somehow on-topic.]
posted by cortex at 6:53 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


"You were dressed as an burrowing slug-creature. Across the room you gave me Tremors. Later that night I didn't even get penetration with the elephant gun."

Oh god, now I have to inform you that you should have aimed for the mouth. a joke that probably makes me terrible but cannot be resisted because the set-up is there.
posted by Artw at 7:00 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]


GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!
posted by longbaugh at 7:28 AM on September 9, 2010


I went. Had a great time except for two things---geeks who are even more awkward, semi serial killer-ish when they're drunk and local frat guys who are not geeks who are drunk.

Someone came up to my friend, who he thought was Cruella DeVille (when she was actually GaGa), and his pickup line was:

"so how does it feel to murder puppies?"

Yea. That's really going to get you places.

NEXT!

The frat guys pick up line:

"Hiiiiiiiii (falling over our table). Man, you're gorgeous. Here, lemme say, here is me and my friend. We're just cleaning up zombie blood (shows us bucket of slop), and yea...so can I get a picture of you? Ohhh dude, look at this. Woooooo". And then leaves.

NEXT!

Sometimes Craig's list is better than an in-person hookup. At least you don't get the drunk breath and the woooooo.
posted by stormpooper at 8:56 AM on September 9, 2010 [2 favorites]


Related: PAX missed connections
posted by mhum at 9:35 AM on September 9, 2010


Poor old predator isn't getting any quote action at all.
posted by Artw at 11:07 AM on September 9, 2010




I had a metafilter missed connection the other day. I was in a class (that I've since dropped) and we all had to share a web resource that we use. Someone in front of me used ask.metafilter. I considered going up to her at the break and trying to make site-based conversation, but I dismissed it as creepy.
posted by codacorolla at 1:58 PM on September 9, 2010


Poor old predator isn't getting any quote action at all.

Dutch: What's the matter? The CIA got you pushing too many pencils? Huh? Had enough?

Dillon: Make it easy on yourself, Dutch......OK, OK, OK!

Dutch: Bleed, bastard.
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:00 PM on September 9, 2010


GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!

YOU SHALL NOT COME!
posted by The Whelk at 5:04 PM on September 9, 2010


Get to plo choppah!
posted by zippy at 7:29 PM on September 9, 2010


'The' is missing because the predator got to it.
posted by zippy at 7:31 PM on September 9, 2010


There's always one guy who just covers himself with mud to make himself invisible to heat vision and then just hides in the corner.
posted by Artw at 7:42 PM on September 9, 2010


Well, at least conventionss like that would have less full-face masks going on. I don't know how people can flirt without at least making eye contact. Looking your way, Anthrocon...
posted by Theta States at 11:02 AM on September 10, 2010


pheromones?
posted by Tenuki at 11:29 AM on September 10, 2010


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