Gee, dad, that was my pony.
September 10, 2010 11:40 AM   Subscribe

OK, sweetie, here's your pony. Love ya. I know this is not only a first post but a single link "news" post to a story with a video. But given the pony mystique, and the general level of hysteria we have attained, I thought I'd take the chance. vis FelixSalmon
posted by carping demon (33 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
I dunno, if I was on a bomb squad I'd want to blow shit up every chance I got.
posted by ghharr at 11:44 AM on September 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Holy shit, how has MeTa not been shut down and taken over...

Wait...

no no no
posted by setanor at 11:45 AM on September 10, 2010


That seems pretty reasonable to me. In coach stations etc. there's always notices that any unattended or suspicious luggage might be blown up. Maybe they watched Troy recently and didn't want to take a chance.

Plus blowing stuff up is just fun.
posted by shinybaum at 11:47 AM on September 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


No, you can't have a pony. Not yours.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 11:49 AM on September 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


Yeah, if I were a terrorist, I'd probably stick with the classics too. There's a reason people still tell the story of the Trojan Horse, after all.
posted by Gator at 11:52 AM on September 10, 2010


I expected this to be either awful or confusing, but I was pleasantly surprised. Also, somehow the phrase "The lockdown was lifted after the pony was blown up" is making me giggle like you would not believe.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 11:52 AM on September 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


See now if the Trojan's had thought of this we'd be spared James Joyce.
posted by The Whelk at 11:53 AM on September 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


My favorite part was when the pony exploded
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:56 AM on September 10, 2010 [5 favorites]


I'm sure that blowing up stuffed animals greatly reduces the elementary school kids' general level of terror.
posted by bearwife at 11:56 AM on September 10, 2010 [9 favorites]


Right on, Mrs.Pterodactyl..."The lockdown was lifted after the pony was blown up" funniest thing I've seen all day
posted by numbskeleton at 11:57 AM on September 10, 2010


Hey Orlando Police: You can go to Home Depot and buy two 2x4x16s for about $25 and nail them together, and either beat the pony with it or push it into your second-hand Brinks truck and haul it off for disposal.

I just saved you guys $20,000.
posted by crapmatic at 12:00 PM on September 10, 2010


Neiggghvar Forget.
posted by jamaro at 12:01 PM on September 10, 2010 [13 favorites]


No, you can't have a pony. Not yours.

I'd go with either "No, you can't keep your pony. *boom* Not yours anymore."

Or a full-on

I MAED YOU A PONY BUT I BLOWED IT UP.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:02 PM on September 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


Robot on robot violence! IT'S THE END TIMES, PEOPLE!!!

*runs around screaming and waving arms*
posted by JoanArkham at 12:05 PM on September 10, 2010


Ah, Florida. Making all the other states feel just a little less batshitinsane.
posted by xedrik at 12:07 PM on September 10, 2010


bin Laden: I can imagine him licking his finger, chalking up another point in the air.
posted by maxwelton at 12:10 PM on September 10, 2010 [4 favorites]


OK Florida, let me get this straight: You're not going to burn Korans, but you are blowing up ponies.

Thanks for the update.
posted by Mcable at 12:15 PM on September 10, 2010 [5 favorites]


Sad (and disturbing) Story Alert:

When I was a kid a friend's dog followed us to school in the morning, which was not unusual for my small town, except in this case the dog hung around all morning and started acting strangely. Soon an announcement came over the PA saying that recess would be cancelled and soon thereafter cop cars began surrunding the school. This, of course drew us to the windows where the cops were surrounding the dog who was by this point drooling and snapping. My friend ran out of the classroom and down to the yard where all this was going on. He got there and tearfully pleaded with the cops not to do anything to his dog. Apparently he was too late, as soon thereafter, in front of my friend and the assembled masses of the school peering out the windows, one cop stepped forward with his pistol drawn and shot the dog dead.

This being the 70s nothing more was said and my friend returned to school some days later a little bit darker from then on. Still gives me nightmares every once and a while.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:19 PM on September 10, 2010 [7 favorites]


Neiggghvar Forget

.
posted by randomyahoo at 12:22 PM on September 10, 2010



Ah, Florida. Making all the other states feel just a little less batshitinsane.


Two words.

Michelle Bachman.


You're going to have to blow up LOTS of ponies.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:25 PM on September 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


Man, some little girl is in a ton of trouble...my parents would KILL ME if I had left a $350 toy pony at the park, bomb squad or no.
posted by castlebravo at 1:13 PM on September 10, 2010


That seems pretty reasonable to me.

Can anyone honestly say that with a straight face? No.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:24 PM on September 10, 2010


Did you guys catch the vanity URL in the comments?
posted by mrgrimm at 1:25 PM on September 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


I like to watch things getting blown up, and I'd like even better to blow things up. But blowing up a stuffed toy found on a playground is perfectly emblematic of security theater. Plus, it's Farktastic.
posted by theora55 at 1:29 PM on September 10, 2010


okay I'm holding out hope here that maybe, just maybe this one incident will be so completely over-the-top knuckle-draggingly, batshit drooling stupid that perhaps all these nutjobs in law enforcement, the government, the TSA, and just the general public at large will FINALLY take the hint and get some perspective... or at least get tired of being publicly mocked for this kind of moronic shit?

maybe?

...nah, who am I kidding.

*kicks tin can, wanders off*
posted by lonefrontranger at 1:42 PM on September 10, 2010


A horse is a horse, of course, of course.
posted by ericb at 1:53 PM on September 10, 2010


Ahem.

No, you can't have a pony. Not yours.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:20 PM on September 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


That seems pretty reasonable to me. In coach stations etc.

This isn't an airport or some high-value target. Its a suburban elementary school. This isn't reasonable, this is a few cops looking for an excuse to use explosions and knowing that red state terrorism fears justify anything.
posted by damn dirty ape at 2:23 PM on September 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


I thought the reference to Troy might have made it obvious. To be clear, I don't really think the police watched a bad film and decided terrorists were waiting inside an expensive toy horse. Or that it was reasonable for them to do so. Good grief.
posted by shinybaum at 2:27 PM on September 10, 2010


given the pony mystique, and the general level of hysteria we have attained

PONYPONYPONYFUCKSHITPONYPONYEXPOLSIONPONYBLOWSHITPONYUPPONY
posted by mannequito at 2:32 PM on September 10, 2010


Hey, Osama Bin Laden might have moved upmarket, for all anyone knows.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 2:42 PM on September 10, 2010


They shoot blow-up horses don't they?
posted by ennui.bz at 3:11 PM on September 10, 2010


Can we just make it a policy that if any inanimate object is found more than twenty yards from the nearest human being, we blow it up?

Because that would be, like, awesome sick.
posted by steambadger at 11:54 AM on September 11, 2010


« Older "They're selling postcards of the hanging."   |   BRAAAAHMMMM Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments