Is 3D just a niche?

September 24, 2010 11:55 AM

Hey ladies, want to get with a geek but don't know how? Let Leslie Sobon, AMD's VP of Product Marketing, show you the way. (You can rinse your brain out with this when you're done.)
posted by griphus (118 comments total)

Most geeks don’t wear pants. They wear jeans or shorts. Just get over it and wait for the ring to diversify his wardrobe.

wait... for the ring... to diversify his wardrobe. YOU ARE THE WORST PERSON WHO HAS EVER LIVED, LESLIE SOBON, VP OF PRODUCT MARKETING FOR AMD. YES, WORSE THAN HITLER.
posted by shmegegge at 11:57 AM on September 24, 2010 [55 favorites]

Hear hear shmegegge - if you do end up falling in love with a geek, isn't the geekiness part of the charm?
posted by The Lady is a designer at 11:59 AM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

but then what do I know, I work with a bajillion engineers
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:00 PM on September 24, 2010

I gather this is the demonstration of a new program that writes a short article for any given stock photo.
posted by theodolite at 12:01 PM on September 24, 2010 [58 favorites]

wait... for the ring... to diversify his wardrobe. YOU ARE THE WORST PERSON WHO HAS EVER LIVED, LESLIE SOBON, VP OF PRODUCT MARKETING FOR AMD. YES, WORSE THAN HITLER.

No, this is a good thing. And badly needed.
posted by Ratio at 12:02 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

But what happens when you carry a geek down an escalator?
posted by maudlin at 12:03 PM on September 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

I just RTFA [Flagged!!! nauseating and patronizing]
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:03 PM on September 24, 2010

I gather this is the demonstration of a new program that writes a short article for any given stock photo.

What's funny is that when you input the goatse image, you get the exact same article.
posted by griphus at 12:03 PM on September 24, 2010 [10 favorites]

Let me just say here that the people she's describing aren't "geeks" but rather are the typical basement dwelling WOW player stereotypes.

"Geeks" aren't (always) gadget obsessed people that strap loud fans to their video cards.

Signed,
A guy who has three SSH sessions open, right now.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 12:04 PM on September 24, 2010 [11 favorites]

But what happens when you carry a geek down an escalator?

They look up corgi videos on their smartphones.

lookit all the widdle pawsies!
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:04 PM on September 24, 2010 [5 favorites]

What happens, maudlin, I wanna know
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:04 PM on September 24, 2010

This may be the most stupid and patronizing thing I'll have read all day. I hope.
posted by maudlin at 12:04 PM on September 24, 2010

This may also help (your brain): This AMV features the song Code Monkey by Jonathan Coulton, using footage from the anime Black Heaven.

My experience with nerds and love is mostly that everyone interesting I've ever known is obsessive about something. Most folks become way more interesting and attractive when you talk to them about their obsession, at least for me.
posted by poe at 12:04 PM on September 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

Wasn't this all summed up in a Dilbert book or two, like, 10+ years ago?
posted by Melismata at 12:05 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I have a feeling we're going to be here all night *toddles off to find the Laphroig*
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:05 PM on September 24, 2010

I'm trying to think of a geek demographic that this doesn't insult.
posted by sawdustbear at 12:06 PM on September 24, 2010

I wonder if anyone's managed to correlate whether geekiness is an inherited trait that comes from following Dad around with his toolbox?
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:07 PM on September 24, 2010

2. Hang out where the geeks hang out: QuakeCon, overclocking events, LAN parties, GDC. I know, I know. But, just think…he will never want to get a mani/pedi with you.

It is my experience that outsiders will be greeted with suspicion, if not derision. Tech geeks, comic geeks, LARP geeks, doesn't matter. You're either in the scene, or your one of the people who beat them up or broke their hearts in high school.

That wall didn't come from nowhere.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:10 PM on September 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

"Yes, they have way too many gadgets, but come on, how many shoes do you have? How about just the black ones?"

I know, I know, right? We women sure do love shoes.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 12:11 PM on September 24, 2010 [14 favorites]

I'm trying to think of a geek demographic that this doesn't insult.

The best part is how it manages to simultaneously be hugely insulting to geeks and women. Not to mention the intersection of those sets.
posted by kmz at 12:13 PM on September 24, 2010 [14 favorites]

This, like television news and reality TV, makes me feel like I'm losing brain cells by even thinking about it.
posted by usonian at 12:13 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Most geeks don’t wear pants.

As a British person, this one particular line had horrifying implications.
posted by dudekiller at 12:14 PM on September 24, 2010 [19 favorites]

You know, I hate the "rinse your brain out" article as much as the first. It's just as stereotyping and patronizing, but it makes nerds feel better about their special snowflakicity.
posted by gladly at 12:14 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Well, finally someone has written a guide for terrible people to lie their way into fixer-upper relationships with infuriating manchildren.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 12:15 PM on September 24, 2010 [49 favorites]

A simpler solution, with better than 90% effectiveness:

1. Show up naked.
2. Bring beer.
posted by Malor at 12:19 PM on September 24, 2010 [5 favorites]

AskMetafilter: Fixer-upper relationships with infuriating manchildren.
posted by griphus at 12:19 PM on September 24, 2010 [10 favorites]

There's so much fail in this that I don't even know where to start but I'll cherry pick this one:

Trust me – most geeks know less than you about Red Sox vs. Yankees, the new NFL overtime rules, or why Canadian hockey teams can’t win the Stanley Cup anymore.

I'll admit that I live in a sports town but the vast majority of engineers and scientists that I know are rabid sports fans. Has she ever even talked to her co-workers?
posted by octothorpe at 12:25 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Is it just me, or is Sobon describing stereotypical nerds while RandsInRepose is talking about a very specific hybrid of GeekNerd? Like he starts talking about Geeks, but lapses back on Nerd Stereotypes, then ends up with just a general description of someone with an over-active brain.
posted by muddgirl at 12:26 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

You know, I hate the "rinse your brain out" article as much as the first. It's just as stereotyping and patronizing, but it makes nerds feel better about their special snowflakicity.

Snowflakicity is not a word.

*pushes up glasses*

COME GET SOME, LADIES!
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:27 PM on September 24, 2010 [6 favorites]

Ladies, all you need to do is give the Vulcan hand sign, and say this:

"Live long and prosper! Gee, I'm horny!"
posted by Ratio at 12:30 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

This is so patronizing, mostly because [listen up, gender-stupid columnists]:

I.

AM.

A.

GEEK.
posted by Elsa at 12:33 PM on September 24, 2010 [12 favorites]

This is infuriating on so many levels.

WOMAN NERD NOT SURE WHETHER ANGRY AS WOMAN OR ANGRY AS NERD, BUT MUST SMASH SOMETHING!
posted by specialagentwebb at 12:34 PM on September 24, 2010 [44 favorites]

I really have to object to this post. I'm a male geek and I am SO SICK of girls hitting on me all the damn time.
posted by LordSludge at 12:35 PM on September 24, 2010 [13 favorites]

Um... ah... um... well... hrm.

I got nothin'. Holy crap that's an awful article.
posted by zarq at 12:37 PM on September 24, 2010

Let me just say here that the people she's describing aren't "geeks" but rather are the typical basement dwelling WOW player stereotypes.

I'm a geek. You're a nerd. He's a dork.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:40 PM on September 24, 2010

Count me in the group that found both the bad article and the supposedly good article to be pretty much equally insulting, insipid and patronizing.
posted by oddman at 12:40 PM on September 24, 2010

It's pretty infuriating because it presents itself as 'advice' when, instead, it might have made a better anecdotal account (ie the story of how one hard-working, geek-obsessed VP of marketing finally got together with that programmer guy who just so happens to play a lot of Civilization, who just so happens to have a poor taste in fashion, who just so etc).

A lot of this just sounds like a happy person wanting to share some story about her life but doing so in a way that is, perhaps, inappropriately didactic. Not all of us majored in Comp Lit in college. Some of us went into Telecom and learned about Ray Kassar and subsequently have no concept of writing/common sense/business.
posted by dubusadus at 12:41 PM on September 24, 2010

listen up, gender-stupid columnists

Hey, who wants to spam Leslie Sobol's Twitter with "YOU ARE EDUCATED GENDER-STUPID."
posted by griphus at 12:41 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm a geek. You're a nerd. He's a dork.

Sigh, everyone forgets the weirdos. :(
posted by oddman at 12:41 PM on September 24, 2010 [8 favorites]

Crap, we've had Indians, writers, and now geeks, not many more groups to make unintentionally offensive dating articles about are left at this point. Eventually some content farm writer is going to break down and write an article for women about how to date gay men and we'll all have to call it a day.
posted by burnmp3s at 12:43 PM on September 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

"To some of you, these lessons may seem daunting."

I know, right? I'm eating my yogurt and sniffing a scented candle and trying to figure out what an "overclock" is and MATH IS HARD.
posted by ErikaB at 12:48 PM on September 24, 2010 [18 favorites]

That article was a little ... light.

Typical fucking Patriots fan.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:48 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Wait, Leslie Sobon, AMD's VP of Product Marketing, wants you to go out and buy a graphics card so you can have sex with a geek? She even provides you with a link so you can SHOP NOW? Well, sign me up, my pussy hurts!
posted by gorgor_balabala at 12:50 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

It looks to me like the randsinrepose article is a blow-by-blow recounting of an INTJ personality profile like the info found at this site.
posted by FireballForever at 12:52 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I know, right? I'm eating my yogurt

Are you doing it in a gray hoodie? Because that's the correct fashion, apparently.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 12:52 PM on September 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

"... wait for the ring ..."

I suppose, topologically speaking, a collar is a ring.
posted by adipocere at 12:53 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Get a Geek in Feefe-a lesy Lessuns

Get a Geek in Like Five Easy Lessons!
posted by specialagentwebb at 12:53 PM on September 24, 2010

Holy christ that was fucking terrible. I can't decide if the piece was more defined by the patronization or the lazy, worn-out stereotypes. I hate this for the same reasons I hate that shit-awful Big Bang Theory show. DO NOT WANT.
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:59 PM on September 24, 2010

This was an awful article. I didn't need to see her title to know she was trying to sell some AMD products.

You should have to take some sort of test before they let you near a company blog.
posted by chemoboy at 1:04 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Signed,
A guy who has three SSH sessions open, right now.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 3:04 PM

Am I the only one that was amused by this?
posted by backseatpilot at 1:07 PM on September 24, 2010 [13 favorites]

If you like movies, rent some Sci-Fi’s and you’ll be set.

I think I just had an aneurysm.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:08 PM on September 24, 2010

What if you're an Indian Geek, can you just sue the FP today for heartburn? ;p
posted by The Lady is a designer at 1:08 PM on September 24, 2010

What if you're an Indian Geek, can you just sue the FP today for heartburn? ;p

If you're also a Muslim and working at a Blockbuster in Texas you should probably break out the tums.
posted by chemoboy at 1:16 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Fucking marketing. Even at one of the inner circle bastions of high tech geekery the marketers just don't get it.
posted by Babblesort at 1:16 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

The most depressing thing about the article is all the comments at the bottom, agreeing with every word. I so hope that they are being made by coerced AMD employees, not real people.
posted by Infinite Jest at 1:16 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

HOLY CRAP. If you ladies want to be extra-offended today, check out Leslie's post about What Women Want.
posted by specialagentwebb at 1:19 PM on September 24, 2010

(Just to be clear, I pulled that quote from the article, not from another comment. Apologies to anyone who's been scrolling up and down looking for the source.)
posted by ErikaB at 1:22 PM on September 24, 2010

HOLY CRAP. If you ladies want to be extra-offended today, check out Leslie's post about What Women Want.

Did I mention Indian and Geek and Female? ;p
posted by The Lady is a designer at 1:24 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

That was bad, and not good-bad.
posted by everichon at 1:25 PM on September 24, 2010

The most depressing thing about the article is all the comments at the bottom, agreeing with every word. I so hope that they are being made by coerced AMD employees, not real people.

The comments are moderated--they don't seem to be approving critical comments. (That the one about dropping out of engineering school and marrying money was approved surprised me...but based on the link specialagentwebb just posted where marrying cash is listed as a major desire of women, Leslie probably didn't realize it was sarcastic.)
posted by phoenixy at 1:27 PM on September 24, 2010

Well, at least now we know why AMDs marketing is so off target.
posted by doctor_negative at 1:27 PM on September 24, 2010 [4 favorites]

That guy looks like Tucker Carlson's zombie. I'm not sure if that's horrible or awesome.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 1:27 PM on September 24, 2010

This may be the most stupid and patronizing thing I'll have read all day. I hope.

HOLY CRAP. If you ladies want to be extra-offended today, check out Leslie's post about What Women Want.

Ireallyshouldn'tclickonthatIreallyshouldn'tclickonthatOhitcan'tbethatbadcanit?

*headdesk*
posted by maudlin at 1:33 PM on September 24, 2010

This is actually worse than Sex Tips For Geeks. I didn't realize such a thing was possible.
posted by atbash at 1:39 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

$Date$

*roflmao*

from atbash's comment
posted by The Lady is a designer at 1:43 PM on September 24, 2010

This is actually worse than Sex Tips For Geeks.

Well, I mean, I'll click on it - how bad could it be --

aaaauuughh jesus jesus jesus jesus jesus jesus jesus
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 1:45 PM on September 24, 2010

I... huh. I think we're all a little with Zarq, here. The one 'useful' thing on that page was a comment. Something (I'm not going back into hell ('hell' being that site) for precision) about if you want a drink ask for it. Yup- if you want something, ask for it. Solid advice.

Whatever cheap north-side (input whatever corner of your city is sketchiest!) cut-with-clorox crack that woman was mainlining while writing about 'dating' geeks, it was apparently, strong enough to bring on hallucinations of the end times.

I also look forward to the schadenfreude when the chipper blonde women who plan to fix 'their' geeks eventually succumb to the dark side, and are looked upon with horror by their fellow blondes as they later ask if anyone else caught the new episode of the IT Crowd (or the belike).
posted by LD Feral at 1:56 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Also, I fear, perhaps, that it might, in the short term, actually work.
**Achievement Awarded: Comma Quantity Captain!**
posted by LD Feral at 2:00 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

So ladies don’t pass them up because they may not have rock hard abs that will most likely fade away. What geeks have doesn’t fade with time, it just gets better! I love my geek and wouldn’t give him up for the world!

My plan is working.


posted by mmrtnt at 2:07 PM on September 24, 2010

This is actually worse than Sex Tips For Geeks. I didn't realize such a thing was possible.

No, it isn't. For one thing both articles linked in this post are shorter, and MUCH, MUCH less creepy.
posted by sparkletone at 2:14 PM on September 24, 2010

Did anyone else hear the voice of Molly Shannon's terrible stand up comedian character while reading this? ("Don't get me started, don't even get me started!")
posted by peep at 2:14 PM on September 24, 2010

All this picking of nits, I do not understand! Why, when I get home from hard QuakeCon, there is nothing I like more than taking off my pants and watching some entertaining SciFis, like Tartovsky's Solaris for example, on new graphics card. Of course, I speak of times when I am not listening to country musics! Ha, ha! My nerdiness, as unbounded and wild as the steppes of central Europe! Yes, I am American geek through and through. Therefore I hope I raise no suspicion when I ask, do you have access to nuclear schematics at your place of employment?
posted by No-sword at 2:15 PM on September 24, 2010 [22 favorites]

The rands in repose one and the AMD one are both anecdotal drivel meant to sell products.

They are both much funnier if you replace the n word with the n word while reading.
posted by nutate at 2:17 PM on September 24, 2010

Ha, ha! I have misspelled "Tarkovsky"! As geek, I am prone to lapses in use of Roman alphabet. Is nothing to take undue notice of.
posted by No-sword at 2:17 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Time for us geeks to start building the B-Ark. The sooner we launch Leslie Sobon, AMD's VP of Product Marketing and her ilk, the better.

The best-case scenario is that this article is satire, but it's not sharp or funny enough - it just reads like Barbie Lands A Job In Marketing And Wants To Share With Ken And Skipper.
posted by Quietgal at 2:18 PM on September 24, 2010

ack, Ken And
posted by Quietgal at 2:25 PM on September 24, 2010

What's funny is that when you input the goatse image, you get the exact same article.

This is not the ring you're waiting for to diversify the wardrobe, kids.
posted by chavenet at 2:26 PM on September 24, 2010

sparkletone: No, it isn't. For one thing both articles linked in this post are shorter, and MUCH, MUCH less creepy.

That's what makes them worse - some poor soul might not realize they shouldn't act on them.
posted by atbash at 2:32 PM on September 24, 2010

Signed,
A guy who has three SSH sessions open, right now.

You should check out screen.

Also, christ on the cross, lots of geeks have decent wardrobes. I fear to think how this article would have been written had she married a black man.
posted by GuyZero at 2:38 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hello, Here is some news. People with technical skills come in different shapes, sizes, colors ages and genders. There are geeks who dress well, in jeans or in suits, who wear glasses with no tape on them, who have social skills, and, amazingly, who do not have a penis. If this is news to you, perhaps you should get out more. Really, that old geek stereotype was never that accurate, and now it just shows how out of touch you are.
Sincerely, Theora
posted by theora55 at 2:52 PM on September 24, 2010

I'm a geek (more of a nerd really) but here's a list of stuff you gotta do before we can date, ladies!:

The Time Warp
NYTimes Crossword Puzzle (Thursday)
"The Dew"
A Full Bibliography
A Postmodernist Essay About Clarissa Explains It All
Be Do Be Do
Me, A Solid
The Time Warp, Again
posted by defenestration at 2:56 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Also, if it's not obvious, I think that "article" is a "piece of shit."
posted by defenestration at 3:11 PM on September 24, 2010

"Geeks" aren't (always) gadget obsessed people that strap loud fans to their video cards.

But they are AMD's consumer market.
posted by delmoi at 3:17 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

GuyZero... inside of a screen session how would you connect to 3 different hosts with less than 3 SSH sessions... just wondering.

Signed,
Guy with 4 ssh sessions to different remote systems open in one screen session, one of which has a screen session running on the remote host, and yeah, I just opened the other three for fun and to add authenticity to this comment.
posted by nutate at 3:30 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'd like to that this article for pointing out that I, a woman, own more hard drives than shoes.
posted by honeydew at 4:04 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

In the "What woman want" list steps 3 and 9 contradict each other.
posted by oddman at 4:06 PM on September 24, 2010

GuyZero... inside of a screen session how would you connect to 3 different hosts with less than 3 SSH sessions... just wondering.

it doesn't help at all, but he didn't say they were different hosts.

And to be fair, I never really liked screen. I just open three terminals and 3 ssh sessions. But everyone tells me to use screen.
posted by GuyZero at 4:17 PM on September 24, 2010

GuyZero, tight. :)
posted by nutate at 4:19 PM on September 24, 2010

Man rands has really gone downhill
posted by Joe Chip at 5:01 PM on September 24, 2010

You should check out screen.

GNU Screen is eighteen kinds of awesome. I turned my manager and coworkers onto it and it was like gravy and bonus points for the next month or two.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:45 PM on September 24, 2010 [1 favorite]

From "What Women Want":

3. We don’t like buying a PC. It’s just not fun.

10. We buy a lot – a lot — of PCs.

So, it's just that Leslie Sobon is a masochist. That's a pretty good reason to write the next installment of Headdesk Daily.
posted by Errant at 5:58 PM on September 24, 2010

Has she ever even talked to her co-workers?

Yes. The problem is her co-workers are marketing douches.
posted by MikeKD at 6:00 PM on September 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

Try Blade Runner, The Matrix, Tron, and District 9 to start.
For the love of Christ, don't watch Tron.
posted by CarlRossi at 7:04 PM on September 24, 2010

"Soban, I've got to ask you a favor."

"Sure, chief, what's up?"

"We need some web-presence out there. Really need to be all, you know, present. Need to present ourselves, I guess... all web-like."

"I'm loving this, go on."

"Check out this stock photo."

"EW!"

"No, don't worry, he's got money, see."

"Nice save. What's the favor?"

"Well, your office is full of geeks-"

Leslie Soban jumps on her chair and shrieks

"I thought we sprayed for that!"

"Haha, no, I mean those people in the cubicles who type without having to dictate. I think."

"Oh, hahaha."

"Hahaha"

"Hahaha. Anyway, your office is invested with them. And you're a woman."

checks pants

"Holy shit! Would you look at that?"

"I... I'd rather not. Please put your pants back on."

"Pssh. Whatever, puritan."

"Anyway, could you write us something about how women can get dates with geeks?"

"What, you mean like by volunteering at the soup-kitchens, or..."

"You know what, just ask some of the men in the cube farm. Can you get it to me by noon?"

"I'm not the VP for nothing!"
posted by Navelgazer at 7:10 PM on September 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

"I... I'd rather not. Please put your pants back on."

"Pssh. Whatever, puritan."

Did you see that episode of Mad Men where Peggy took of all of her clothes in order to psych out some dude?

Fucking camera angles man.
posted by delmoi at 7:46 PM on September 24, 2010

I had better luck rinsing my brain with Marian Call's "I'll Still Be A Geek After Nobody Thinks It's Chic".
posted by sculpin at 8:14 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

Get a bitch in 5 easy lessons!

It’s hard to find a good woman, but not impossible if you’re willing to make a little effort. Working in marketing, I’m mostly around women all day. And I can tell you that – in general – women are pretty cool.

If nothing else, they will always be able to wash your laundry, clean your toilet and cook dinner in a pinch. Yes, they have way too many shoes, but come on, how many gadgets do you have? How about just the black ones?

So, if you’re single and find yourself at a shoe sale chatting with the cute chick in a slingback, here’s how to speak her language, appreciate her hobbies, and potentially snag a date at Barney's.

I would go on, but the involuntary gaging makes it difficult to type.

Can I be the first to call this woman a heartless sociopath?
posted by fontophilic at 8:48 PM on September 24, 2010 [2 favorites]

i love the flipflop comment had many fun times with d time flipflops

heh
posted by eddydamascene at 9:04 PM on September 24, 2010

A Postmodernist Essay About Clarissa Explains It All

are... are you single
posted by NoraReed at 9:09 PM on September 24, 2010 [3 favorites]

Asking someone "What will win, X86 or ARM?" without knowing what that means is the best dating advice of all time.
posted by danb at 9:12 PM on September 24, 2010

WOMAN NERD NOT SURE WHETHER ANGRY AS WOMAN OR ANGRY AS NERD, BUT MUST SMASH SOMETHING!

Giantess fetishists are to the right, immediate service, no waiting.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:30 PM on September 24, 2010

Fuck every single bit of this post. Wash your brain out with this instead.
posted by phooky at 10:04 PM on September 24, 2010

Man, I'm just so sick of these Sex and the City 3 virals. Carrie gets a blog, dates a geek, moves to the Bay Area, goes back to that Big guy. We get it. Jeez.
posted by gompa at 10:13 PM on September 24, 2010

I don't get these kind of articles, and not just because this particular one was written by a Terminator with a copy of Chicken Soup For the Psychotic's Soul jammed into its headcase. Male or female, cool or uncool, there is only one true source for instructions on how to be found attractive. Learning by imitation, people.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 10:35 PM on September 24, 2010

And to be fair, I never really liked screen. I just open three terminals and 3 ssh sessions. But everyone tells me to use screen.

Dude. DUDE. Before I started using screen I didn't think it was all that and a bag of chips, but it's the greatest thing next to sliced bread and Vim. With screen I don't have to worry about nohupping long batch processes, lost scrollback buffers, flaky connections. And that's just the start.

(At work I generally have about 7-8 SSHs into 2 or 3 hosts each running screen with 15+ windows each. I have to admit I don't garbage collect my screen windows as well as I should.)
posted by kmz at 11:08 PM on September 24, 2010

You guys are just showing off so Leslie Sobon will try to get into your pants flip-flops.
posted by taz at 12:38 AM on September 25, 2010

...Vim.

DIE HERETIC!
posted by MikeKD at 12:56 AM on September 25, 2010

Yes, they have way too many gadgets, but come on, how many shoes do you have? How about just the black ones?

Who thinks like this? Who thinks like this?

My geeky boyfriend has more pairs of black shoes than I do. Also, he successfully talked me back to his house after our first date by promising to show me the vintage Mac SE gathering dust behind his sofa. Geek love at first startup chime.
posted by Catseye at 3:34 AM on September 25, 2010

> just think…he will never want to get a mani/pedi with you.

but then neither would Conan, so the pencil neck is non-diagnostic on the mani/pedi axis.
posted by jfuller at 6:08 AM on September 25, 2010

Has she ever even talked to her co-workers?

Yes, but she never listens; you missed point three from the article:

3. Ask questions. You don’t really have to understand what these questions mean, but throw them into the conversation and then act interested when he answers.

Also, christ on the cross, lots of geeks have decent wardrobes.

I know, I find a sturdy wardrobe is an excellent place to keep all the books that don't fit on my bookshelves.
posted by robertc at 7:54 AM on September 25, 2010

And to be fair, I never really liked screen. I just open three terminals and 3 ssh sessions.

Me too. Probably because I'm a girl.
posted by nev at 4:38 PM on September 25, 2010

What if you're an Indian Geek, can you just sue the FP today for heartburn? ;p

Naaah, we're cool about it. Not because it isn't silly or anything, but there's only so much outrage that I can muster in a 24-hour period; it's all been taken up lately by rising xenophobia and the absolute mess that Indian sport has become. Although I'd be _very wary_ about receiving any more AMD graphic-cards as gifts anymore; you never know if women are using them to get into my pants^Hjeans.
posted by the cydonian at 8:43 PM on September 25, 2010

Boy howdy. Just... wow.

This is absolute drek guaranteed to offend at every possible level.

I know more lady geeks than guy geeks. They would not find this claptrap amusing in the slightest.

Ugh.

I feel dirty.
posted by PROD_TPSL at 9:47 AM on September 26, 2010

This is one of those articles that makes me wish I could spray liquid shit out of the RJ45 connector on the PC of the person who wrote it by clicking a button.
posted by tehloki at 4:49 AM on September 27, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yes, they have way too many gadgets, but come on, how many shoes do you have? How about just the black ones?

My feet are bigger than my boyfriend's, which by popular wisdom means I also have a bigger penis. Overclock THAT, Lesley.
posted by mippy at 6:14 AM on September 27, 2010

Actually, the What Women Want article wasn't bad after she refrained from suggesting all women are cash-whores. If only she had made the point that things aimed at women do NOT need to be pink.
posted by mippy at 6:20 AM on September 27, 2010

I come from a culture where we ..um.. 'buy' our husbands (dowry) ;p
posted by The Lady is a designer at 6:27 AM on September 27, 2010

It's articles like this that rekindle my misanthropy.
posted by Skorgu at 11:09 PM on September 29, 2010