August 24, 2001

7:53 AM

Legalization?!? Try "zero tolerance" taken to a whole new level

"Older Americans tend to give in to peer pressure," Lakewood said. "They just do what their doctor tells them because they want to 'be cool' or 'live,' and win their doctor's approval.

In my own defense, I got this via email rather than directly from the source, but I was four paragraphs in before the light went on. Is there any idea so unbelievable that you immediately know Bush wouldn't support it?
posted by ToasterKing (15 comments total)

gee, i thought i wAs reading MeFi(not the onion) i love humor but this kidda sucks tepid aire.( too...setuppy and complekated)((an A for effort)
posted by clavdivs at 8:10 AM on August 24, 2001

i love tepid air.
posted by moz at 8:12 AM on August 24, 2001

Hope you're not addicted to it moz
posted by Dagobert at 8:14 AM on August 24, 2001

Is there any idea so unbelievable that you immediately know Bush wouldn't support it?

Well... yeah. That one in the Onion, for example. Or the zombie thing. I mean, I disagree with his politics too, but failing to understand humor doesn't seem something that will help.
posted by moss at 8:46 AM on August 24, 2001

Okay guys, follow my thinking here. You see, you were all supposed to read the first couple of paragraphs of the Onion piece and think "Gee, the press loves reporting the wildest things Bush says. Could he really have said this and what was he thinking?" Then you were supposed to (like obedient little minions) follow that second link and think "These are completely overboard too. But wait, he did say something like that about the Kyoto protocols". Finally, you hit that last link and think to yourself "You know, here's another over the top call to action that an amazing number of people did buy into".

With partisan grandstanding over issues, satire running wild, and tabloid journalism to feed the fire what tips *you* off to dig deeper? Would it have helped if I'd instead ended the original post with "that you immediately know Bush couldn't have meant that?"

Oh, BTW clavdivs you *were* reading MeFi before you clicked on the link. The Onion is what popped up after you clicked the link. Hope that helps! :-)
posted by ToasterKing at 9:27 AM on August 24, 2001

Where is that ignore feature?
posted by Outlawyr at 9:32 AM on August 24, 2001

Dunno, ToasterKing, it sounds like you're trolling, if you ask me. Using the Onion to bait the righties and the lefties into fighting over something Dubya didn't even do....
posted by briank at 9:34 AM on August 24, 2001

hah, those damn junkie seniors, I say we just ship them all off to some isolated island. :)
posted by bytecode at 9:36 AM on August 24, 2001

this is a joke, right? i mean, i read this copy of reader's digest at the doctor's office where a lady read an article on the onion saying jk rowling was a satanist and she BELIEVED it, but not toasterking. right? right?
posted by sugarfish at 9:38 AM on August 24, 2001

Those first few paragraphs are pretty convincing... Good thing it was in the Onion though and not on Paul Harvey or I might have fallen for it.
posted by ToasterKing at 10:25 AM on August 24, 2001

"Is there any idea so unbelievable that you immediately know Bush wouldn't support it?"

Don't tempt me so! Imagine a headline saying "Bush Supports Campaign Finance Reform, Backs John McCain"

or "Bush Calls for Full Investigation of Florida Voter Fraud"

I'll stop there but the list could go on forever and it's just 7 months into his illegitimacy.
posted by nofundy at 11:00 AM on August 24, 2001

JK Rowling is a satanist?
posted by lucien at 1:31 PM on August 24, 2001

hah, those damn junkie seniors, I say we just ship them all off to some isolated island. :)

Surely you meant isolated peninsula.
posted by skallas at 2:55 PM on August 24, 2001

remember, there is absolutely no question ever asked that cannot be answered with the phrase "bend over and i'll show you."
posted by jcterminal at 5:34 PM on August 24, 2001