Hiya friends. Now just be honest about it. Did you ever consider the possibliity that the size of your penis
(and in the case of many dignified ladies, that the size of the titties themselves) might provide elements
of sub.conscious.tensionnnnn? Weird, twisted anxieties? That could force a human being to have to become...
a politician. A policeman. A jesuit monk. Heh, a rock and roll guitar player. A wino. You name it.
Or in the case of the ladies (the ones that can't afford a silicone beef-up) they may become writers of hot books.
Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim. Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns. Gonzo, the lead guitar player,
placed his mutated member in her slithering slit. Ooo, or racehorse jockeys. THERE IS NO REASON WHY YOU OR YOUR LOVED ONES
SHOULD SUFFER. Things are bad enough, without the size of your organ adding even more misery to the troubles
of the world!
Now, if you're a lady and you've got munchkin tits, you can console yourself with this age-old line
from primary school:
Anything over a mouthful, IS WASTED!
Yes! and isn't it the truth? And if you're a guy, and one night you're at a party and you're trying to be cool,
I mean, you aren't even wearing any underwear you're being so cool, and somebody hits on you one night,
and looks you up and down and he says uh,
Eight inches? or less?
Well let me tell you, brother, that's the time when you got to turn around and look that son of a bitch right
between the eyes. And you got to tell him these words:
Oi got three sweat socks and a bar o' beauty soap down moi pants.
We propose to acquire the rights to digitally duplicate THE BEST of every record company's difficult-to-move Quality Catalog Items [Q.C.I.], store them in a central processing location, and have them accessible by phone or cable TV, directly patchable into the user's home taping appliances, with the option of direct digital-to-digital transfer to the F-l (SONY consumer-level digital tape encoder), Beta Hi-Fi, or ordinary analog cassette (requiring the installation of a rentable D-A converter in the phone itself. . . the main chip is about twelve dollars). All accounting for royalty payments, billing to the consumer, etc., would be automatic, built into the software for the system. The consumer has the option of subscribing to one or more 'special interest category,' charged at a monthly rate, WITHOUT REGARD FOR THE QUANTITY OF MUSIC THE CUSTOMER WISHES TO TAPE.posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:08 PM on October 3, 2010 [4 favorites]
Providing material in such quantity at a reduced cost could actually diminish the desire to duplicate and store it, since it would be available any time day or night. Monthly listings could be provided by catalog, reducing the on-line storage requirements of the computer. The entire service would be accessed by phone, even if the local reception is via TV cable. One advantage of the TV cable is: on those channels where nothing ever seems to happen (there's about seventy of them in L.A.), a visualization of the original cover art, including song lyrics, technical data, etc., could be displayed while the transmission is in progress, giving the project an
electronic whiff of the original point-of-purchase merchandising built into the album when it was 'an album,' since there are many consumers who like to fondle & fetish the packaging while the music is being played. In this situation, Fondlement & Fetishism Potential [F.F.P.] is supplied, without the cost of shipping tons of cardboard around. Most of the hardware devices are, even as you read this, available as off-the-shelf items, just waiting to be plugged into each other in order to put an end to the record business as we now know it.
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by davejay at 10:49 PM on October 2, 2010