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"Oh God you guys. This better be pretty freakin' important. Is the meadow on fire?"
October 6, 2010 8:17 AM   Subscribe


 
You forgot about the Cave of Wonders! It's a land of sweets and joy...and joyness.
posted by Scoo at 8:30 AM on October 6, 2010


I thought we were still on bacon.
posted by nitsuj at 8:34 AM on October 6, 2010


One question which I'm guessing these links do not answer: why are kids (especially of the distaff gender) so enamored by unicorns?
posted by kozad at 8:39 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


Ponies + magic, duh.
posted by maryr at 8:40 AM on October 6, 2010 [7 favorites]


Plus how you can only tame them if you're a virgin. Abstinence is cool.
posted by nobody at 8:47 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


Lots and lots of links to the same web site. Feels like a site dump to me, but I could be wrong.
But hey, I'll add my current omg-wtf-isthat link:
Avenging Unicorn Play set
posted by Old'n'Busted at 8:47 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


>One question which I'm guessing these links do not answer: why are kids (especially of the distaff gender) so enamored by unicorns?

Ponies + magic, duh.


I asked my wife the same question less than a week ago, forgetting that unicorns have a magical component. I got nearly that exact response.
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:48 AM on October 6, 2010


My wireless network at home is named "Unicorn Rainbow."
posted by Shohn at 8:48 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


This dream of unicorns can mean only one thing - the Internet is a robot!
posted by Artw at 8:52 AM on October 6, 2010


Curley - my original response was just "Magic, duh." I thought the question required slightly more elaboration.
posted by maryr at 8:52 AM on October 6, 2010


How on earth do they only have *one* unicorn book? And it's not The Last Unicorn?!
posted by maryr at 8:53 AM on October 6, 2010


Plus how you can only tame them if you're a virgin. Abstinence is cool.

Not sure that explains the similar interest in mermaids, who'll flash their boobs at anyone.
posted by Artw at 8:55 AM on October 6, 2010


Not sure that explains the similar interest in mermaids, who'll flash their boobs at anyone.

But can decently go pantsless...
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:57 AM on October 6, 2010


Once upon a time, there was a pirate riding on a unicorn, fighting a ninja riding a t-rex. The ninja fired his sharks with frigging lasers, but the pirate blocked it with his steampunk lightsaber. Look at your man, now back to me. The lasers are now bacon. I baked you a cupcake with the bacon but mah kitteh eated it. I was sad until Chuck Norris came and started dancing with a baby and a hampster. O RLY? YA, RLY. I'm 12 and how is babby formed? I kiss you! I put on my robe and fedora. Am I doing this right?
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 8:59 AM on October 6, 2010 [12 favorites]


Not just any ponies, sparkleponies.
posted by acb at 8:59 AM on October 6, 2010


I really don't understand how someone can make a post about unicorns and not link to Robot Unicorn Attack.
posted by nooneyouknow at 9:02 AM on October 6, 2010


As magical equines go, I definitely prefer unicorns to pegasus, they stay on the ground and make for an easier to hit target. Plus, once roasted, when you serve them, you can do some amazing things in the presentation with the horn.

And pegasus are really too muscled. It makes them a bit tough.
posted by quin at 9:03 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


Not sure that explains the similar interest in mermaids, who'll flash their boobs at anyone.

But can decently go pantsless...


Which begs the question top half human/bottom half mermaid or bottom half human/top half fish-mermaid?
posted by Fizz at 9:03 AM on October 6, 2010


This thread would not be complete without a link to Shel Silverstein's "The Unicorn".

(Sadly, I can't find a link to Shel's performance, so I'll have to give you The Irish Rovers' version)
posted by hippybear at 9:05 AM on October 6, 2010


Not sure that explains the similar interest in mermaids, who'll flash their boobs at anyone.

But mermaids don't have genitals. Like Barbie and Ken, but you don't even notice they're missing.
posted by nobody at 9:08 AM on October 6, 2010


I feel compelled to point out Gabe's experience on the subject.
posted by maryr at 9:12 AM on October 6, 2010


"A fish everywhere you'd want a woman and a woman everywhere you'd want a fish."

Something in that vein, anyways.

Previously. It's alive! It's ALIVE!
posted by tspae at 9:45 AM on October 6, 2010


Unicorns are scary.
posted by JtJ at 10:05 AM on October 6, 2010


I just visited the Unicorn room in the Cloisters. It is awesome, and sadly violent.
posted by milestogo at 10:26 AM on October 6, 2010


In the swinger culture single, bi females are called Unicorns.
posted by MajorDilemma at 10:33 AM on October 6, 2010


I want to believe.
posted by iamck at 10:56 AM on October 6, 2010


I was born a unicorn.
posted by Prince_of_Cups at 10:59 AM on October 6, 2010 [1 favorite]


The Winsome Parker Lewis: "Once upon a time, there was a pirate riding on a unicorn, fighting a ninja riding a t-rex. The ninja fired his sharks with frigging lasers, but the pirate blocked it with his steampunk lightsaber. Look at your man, now back to me. The lasers are now bacon. I baked you a cupcake with the bacon but mah kitteh eated it. I was sad until Chuck Norris came and started dancing with a baby and a hampster. O RLY? YA, RLY. I'm 12 and how is babby formed? I kiss you! I put on my robe and fedora. Am I doing this right?"

You forgot "FAKE" but otherwise god damn you sounded just like a 12yr old on 4-chan.

Well done.
posted by Bonzai at 12:05 PM on October 6, 2010


Unicorn in Toronto.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:49 PM on October 6, 2010 [2 favorites]


What I want to know is how fluffy are these unicorns?
posted by zorrine at 2:35 PM on October 6, 2010


My favorite unicorn story, form Umberto Eco: Marco Polo goes to Java, and sees a one horned horse, and figures, hey, it's a unicorn. It was a rhinoceros. Marco Polo wasn't a dummy, because he had to make a choice: either he modified his understanding of unicorn to fit the animal in front of him, or else he would have to believe he discovered an entirely unknown animal.

We make a similar choice every day, about everything.
posted by TheLastPsychiatrist at 3:22 PM on October 6, 2010


Might I highly recommend the Killer Unicorn books? I'm reading Ascendant right now.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:55 PM on October 6, 2010


nitsuj: "I thought we were still on bacon"

Mmmmm unicorn bacon...
posted by Splunge at 4:28 PM on October 6, 2010


maryr: "How on earth do they only have *one* unicorn book?"

I noticed that too, and it kind of sullied my opinion of the whole website. But I still like unicorns. And bunnies. And butterflies.
posted by gubenuj at 5:07 PM on October 6, 2010


Unicorns are jerks.
posted by nzero at 7:27 PM on October 6, 2010


Hmmm, the Unicorn Tapestries... memorable, memorable article.
posted by paperpete at 1:40 PM on October 7, 2010




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