Traffic Jam 101

October 12, 2010 1:03 PM

The Imperial Stars promote their new single "Traffic Jam 101" with a traffic jam on 101.
posted by Chinese Jet Pilot (40 comments total)

Christ, what a bunch of assholes.
posted by MegoSteve at 1:07 PM on October 12, 2010 [3 favorites]

This is what it takes for bands to get noticed now.
posted by chaff at 1:08 PM on October 12, 2010

Terrible song.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:10 PM on October 12, 2010

All that trouble for a song that is mind-meltingly bad.
posted by the dief at 1:11 PM on October 12, 2010

Ah, so THESE are the fucking shitbags who nearly made me miss a crucial and complicated medical test at my hospital today, which was necessary to determine if I could go ahead with surgery next week to proceed to the next phase of my cancer treatment; had I missed it, it could have set me back by weeks. And here I was hoping no one would give them the free fucking publicity they wanted. Nice. {/}
posted by scody at 1:11 PM on October 12, 2010 [14 favorites]

I mean, damn. They just totally suck leprous goat balls. Are they trying to be so bad that it's some kind of LA tongue-in-cheek thing?
posted by Burhanistan at 1:12 PM on October 12, 2010

yes but they're donating to homelss children....

[barf]
posted by notsnot at 1:12 PM on October 12, 2010

Damn, scody, I wasn't thinking I actually *knew* someone whose medical treatment was held up (or almost held up) by this, but that was my first thought..."What if someone's having a heart attack and dies enroute due to traffic?"
posted by notsnot at 1:14 PM on October 12, 2010

Damn, scody, I wasn't thinking I actually *knew* someone whose medical treatment was held up (or almost held up) by this, but that was my first thought..."What if someone's having a heart attack and dies enroute due to traffic?"

I had almost the same reaction. What a thoughtless and potentially dangerous thing to do.
posted by pianoboy at 1:16 PM on October 12, 2010

Nobody whose music is any good would ever have to do somethng like this.
posted by InfidelZombie at 1:17 PM on October 12, 2010 [7 favorites]

I used to own this awesome book about Old West gunfighters when I was a kid. The book refused to print the name of the man who shot Wild Bill Hickok because he had done it to become famous and they didn't want to help him achieve his goal (even a hundred years later). I applaud that book.
posted by Bookhouse at 1:18 PM on October 12, 2010 [7 favorites]

I love how the lead singer or whoever he is starts raising his arms in triumph at 1:20 of the video, like he's Freddie Mercury at Live Aid or something.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:18 PM on October 12, 2010

Freebird.
posted by rosswald at 1:24 PM on October 12, 2010

Reverse marketing! Like when Oasis spilled a billion barrels of oil into the Mediterranean or that time the Red Hot Chili Peppers raised the taxes on beer.
posted by theodolite at 1:26 PM on October 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

It's like the exact opposite of U2 in LA.
posted by Phredward at 1:26 PM on October 12, 2010

All they really had to do was to tailgate for awhile, blocking all merging cars at a high-traffic exit. Heh.

Or instead there's this.
posted by billb at 1:27 PM on October 12, 2010

What utter, utter cocks. I wonder how many human hours they stole from better musicians who would have used that time to, you know, practice.
posted by freshwater_pr0n at 1:48 PM on October 12, 2010

That's not really how you go on tour, guys.
posted by ardgedee at 1:50 PM on October 12, 2010

Odd, that the band has the text "Over 1.5 million homeless children in the U.S.A. What are we doing???" on the top of their tour van, but nothing about that on the side of their van (or even on their MySpace page!)

Luckily, their website, also plastered on the top of their van, has a motivational mission statement:

The Imperial Stars are committed to benefiting the displaced children of America through the voice of music. Charitable focused movements in addition to professional sound quality fit for all demographics; vision of mainstream success is directed back into the community voluntarily. Progression is a standard with our audio production, collective marketing strategies and overall business approach, therefore building relationships and doing well by them is the priority at Imperial One Entertainment.

The Imperial Stars will stand up for the over 1.5 million homeless children in the USA

You can give them your email address to find out more, or just send them money to help them enact focused movements. Or something.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:52 PM on October 12, 2010

I like that even with this their video barely has any views (301 when I clicked to see how bad the song was. It is very. Just take our words for it.)
posted by Navelgazer at 1:53 PM on October 12, 2010

Wow. I made it through a grand total of 14 seconds of that song before closing the tab.
posted by brand-gnu at 1:57 PM on October 12, 2010

I must admit I like how their logo and band picture on the side of the van look like some ill-advised rock'n'roll-themed "experience" ride at Disneyland c. 1986 that only lasted a season and resulted in several people getting fired.
posted by scody at 2:02 PM on October 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

The logo on the truck was enough to tell me "don't bother checking out the song. you hate it".
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 2:04 PM on October 12, 2010

Is that the Yes Men?

...

waitaminute ... Jim Breuer is still around?! And he has a book?! Egads.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:08 PM on October 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

Based on this piece, Hollerado are an example of a band working hard to find new ways to promote themselves and change the artist/major-media-outlet dynamic. They don't seem to be looking for the one magic bullet to give them 15 minutes - they're committed to making lasting fans one person at a time. Imperial Stars strike me as being on the wrong side of successful meaningful promotion. Sure, we're talking about them for the moment, but in a few days I think they'll be a vague memory at best.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 2:15 PM on October 12, 2010

I also wonder how they got Future Shaun White to rap for them.

Or instead there's this.

That's the biggest plate of beans I've ever seen.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:15 PM on October 12, 2010

In the song, part of the lyrics go "No one better get in my way!" which is ironic, considering they got in the way...of everyone.
posted by hellojed at 2:17 PM on October 12, 2010

I looove the vague "homeless kids" angle to justify their fucking awful behavior. It's inspired me to start running up and down Santa Monica, kicking strangers in the balls and yelling "JOECHIP IS FOR WORLD PEACE!"
posted by joechip at 3:09 PM on October 12, 2010 [4 favorites]

Shit sandwich.
posted by mazola at 3:33 PM on October 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Eh, I still doesn't seem as bad as Mancow's Haircut on the Bay Bridge stunt in 1993. At least on 101 you have exits, even if the side streets get clogged.
posted by Badgermann at 3:33 PM on October 12, 2010

Why didn't the police just shoot them?
posted by mazola at 3:34 PM on October 12, 2010

I liked the part where they got arrested.
posted by mazola at 3:35 PM on October 12, 2010

And now I despise homeless children too. Nice job, assholes!
posted by mazola at 3:39 PM on October 12, 2010

Hey everybody Pretty Flowers is back! All hail RustyBottoms!
posted by eyeballkid at 3:54 PM on October 12, 2010

Y'know, I remember folks doing anti-war protests where they clogged traffic, and kinda feeling like they were dicks.

And I guess I never thought about the sort of European general strike traffic blocking stuff in terms of people not getting to hospitals before.
posted by klangklangston at 9:03 PM on October 12, 2010

To be fair to European general strikes, they usually give fair warning.
posted by scody at 9:30 PM on October 12, 2010

Freebird.

Don't bring me into this. You know that's not my style.
posted by freebird at 11:57 PM on October 12, 2010

scody writes "To be fair to European general strikes, they usually give fair warning."

Thereby letting one plan one's bee sting or heart attack?
posted by Mitheral at 7:54 AM on October 13, 2010

I'm a long-time supporter of strategic civil disobedience around important social issues. Civil Rights marches in the 60's produced some traffic jams as well. So, I don't want to turn this into an absolute stand against taking actions that ever inconvenience anyone else.

That said, this is just douchebaggery. No number of vague references to homeless kids changes that fact.
posted by stewieandthedude at 2:01 PM on October 13, 2010 [1 favorite]

Clearly the appropriate thing to do is download their song and delete it un-listened-to over and over until they are broke.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 8:06 PM on October 13, 2010