# Bring me the butterOctober 15, 2010 1:42 AM   Subscribe

The evidence that eating a lot of butter will make you better at math is incomplete. The Butter Mind study, to be run from October 20 - November 12, will test the hypothesis that butter improves math performance.
posted by twoleftfeet (39 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

The Butter Mind Study. Brought to you by the Butter Conglomerate. Butter! Be Butter at Maths, With Butter!
posted by Effigy2000 at 1:47 AM on October 15, 2010

1) Eat butter
2) Get fat
3) Fail to get dates
4) Sit at home and do math.

QED.
posted by delmoi at 1:52 AM on October 15, 2010 [11 favorites]

Margarine just makes you look smart.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:55 AM on October 15, 2010 [3 favorites]

I used to get mad at my school (No, I can't complain)
The teachers who taught me weren't cool (No, I can't complain)
You're holding me down (Oh Oh)
Turning me round (Oh Oh)
Filling me up with your rules (Oooh)
/
I've got to admit it's getting butter (butter)
A little butter all the time (I can't get no wurst)
I have to admit it's getting butter (butter)
It's getting butter
Since you been mind.
/
Getting so much butter all the time!
posted by chavenet at 1:59 AM on October 15, 2010 [3 favorites]

Hurf Durf?
posted by louche mustachio at 2:11 AM on October 15, 2010 [3 favorites]

The evidence that people who think the evidence that eating a lot of butter will make you better at math are better at math is complete.
It suggests that these people are not better at math.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 2:11 AM on October 15, 2010

Not only that, but they come out of the math study saying, "I can't believe it's not better."
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 2:13 AM on October 15, 2010 [4 favorites]

What I want to see is that Alcohol mind hypothesis. They hypothesis that if you are really good at math being drunk enough to drive impaired doesn't make you any worse. I've done some of my own preliminaries evidence is spotty given the lack of accurate recording.
posted by Rubbstone at 2:14 AM on October 15, 2010

Turn the tub around
This is so profound
Healthier formulation

Turn the tub around
Check each word and letter
How it does astound
Can’t believe it’s better

It's not better - it's Parkay.
posted by hypersloth at 2:18 AM on October 15, 2010

But can they do the kind of math with letters instead of numbers? What's X?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 2:21 AM on October 15, 2010

But can they do the kind of math with letters instead of numbers?

This breakthrough will happen once the Massive Foie Gras Self-Experimentation Project receives grant funding.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:26 AM on October 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

I should have mentioned Seth Roberts' original talk.

Also, if you're interested, it's tastier if you eat deep-fried butter, a popular treat.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:27 AM on October 15, 2010

I meant it's not butter.
Also, we have a lot of channels on our tv, and one night, I shit you not, an entire channel was devoted to nothing but a tub of fake butter rotating on a plate in a spotlight, with this song playing, for at least eight hours. I flipped through; it made me laugh. Hours later I happened across it again and I became concerned.
Then again, maybe they got lucky because I do eat butter by the gallons.
posted by hypersloth at 2:37 AM on October 15, 2010

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "HURF DURF".
posted by dgaicun at 3:43 AM on October 15, 2010

Each time we collect data, we sample from a power-law-like distribution. Almost all samples produce tiny progress; a very tiny fraction produce great progress. Each time you collect data, in other words, it’s like buying a lottery ticket.

Um, maybe I am misunderstanding this, but doesn't each purchase of a lottery ticket produce a tiny loss, which we hope will be offset by the occasional large gain? I admit, I kind of like the idea of research where the scientists surrender small portions of brains every week hoping to make a discovery that will pay off enough to buy back the lost time/effort.

posted by GenjiandProust at 3:59 AM on October 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Betty Botter bought a bit of bitter butter,
Thought: my bottom's fatter than a coast guard cutter,
But bitter butter oughter make me eat less butter,
Oughter make me much less like the Daughter
of the Blob
, make me lithe like an otter,
Leave my bot a lot less squatter! Hotter!

Pity Betty Botter of the bit of bitter butter.
She failed to calculate her fate. She never thought her
Vanity would make her lose gray matter. What her
Silhouette was like was everything, she'd mutter.
Though Betty reaps the benefits of svelter bot, her
Brain can't count the change her bitter butter bought her.
posted by pracowity at 4:03 AM on October 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

I have a PhD in mathematics and eat too much butter, thus proving one of two things:
1) Correlation implies causation
2) Pure mathematicians know nothing about statistics
posted by monkeymadness at 4:44 AM on October 15, 2010 [2 favorites]

"The evidence that a lot of butter will make your brain delicious is complete" - a zombie
posted by fleetmouse at 4:47 AM on October 15, 2010

I find that I can do arithemetic much faster if I watch Butter 08's video Butter of 69 shortly before my math exercises.
posted by Greg Nog at 4:55 AM on October 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

posted by eccnineten at 5:06 AM on October 15, 2010

Lies, Damned Lies, and Medical Science
posted by sammyo at 5:30 AM on October 15, 2010

Makes you better at math? Wow, the Asians must be feeding their kids tons of this stuff!
posted by condour75 at 6:07 AM on October 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Hurf Durf?

More $\frac{hu(r^f)}{du(r_f}$
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:48 AM on October 15, 2010

So that's why they named him "Butters"?
posted by emhutchinson at 6:49 AM on October 15, 2010

Someone just thought "how can I justify eating more butter" and then realized they could use faulty experimental designs.
posted by treeshar at 7:05 AM on October 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

Who among us hasn't, from time to time, eaten a stick of butter like a candy bar?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:12 AM on October 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

ROU_Xenophobe, you forgot a ). Shame on you.
posted by handee at 7:21 AM on October 15, 2010

So you can accurately count your heart attacks?
posted by rocket88 at 7:25 AM on October 15, 2010

Bacon improves the formulation of relevant sociological studies.
posted by kozad at 7:56 AM on October 15, 2010

This is like that moving to Bolivia thing, right? What's this a metaphor for?
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 8:24 AM on October 15, 2010

no this is demonstrably false. I would be einstein.
posted by supermedusa at 8:35 AM on October 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

This goes completely against the term "butter-headed," which somebody mentioned here some months ago in a thread about creative insults.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 9:14 AM on October 15, 2010

Interesting!

Data point: I love butter, and I have a math degree (which is a couple of decades old but still quite functional...)
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 9:52 AM on October 15, 2010

handee: it'll still compile, so I claim it was an aesthetic choice.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:56 AM on October 15, 2010

The evidence that buying me a lot of books will make you better at math is incomplete. This hypothesis needs testing, people! The evidence for additional bookcases is also incomplete.
posted by Zed at 10:09 AM on October 15, 2010

a propos
posted by eritain at 10:47 AM on October 15, 2010

All right! Finally, a cure for my dyscalculia! A tasty, tasty cure!

Okay, probably not, but still tasty.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:20 PM on October 15, 2010 [1 favorite]

So that's why Silas loves college?!
posted by stevil at 4:37 PM on October 15, 2010

Several months ago, a few articles popped up in my RSS reader about self-experimentation, all around the same time. I decided not to start following along, mainly because everything was like those two links: people become so narrowly focused on results, rather than whether their "experiment" is designed well. Which is fun if you like playing around with numbers and eating butter, but it's not very good science.

Didn't the original author consider that maybe he just got really good at math problems after doing them for several months?
posted by kagredon at 6:02 PM on October 24, 2010

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