20 things you need to know about Keith Richards

October 21, 2010 11:09 AM

Keith Richards' book tl;dr? Fixed that for you. See what I did there?

Among other thigs... On the night of the infamous 1967 Redlands drug bust, Keef was so far gone on LSD that when the police arrived at his Sussex country mansion, he mistook them for uniformed dwarves, welcoming them in with open arms.

posted by punkfloyd (31 comments total)

As his memoir of life as a Rolling Stone is published, he (improbably) says he hasn’t forgotten any of it.

He can't even remember how much he can't remember.
posted by mazola at 11:12 AM on October 21, 2010

"wow, scissorhands" is my fav from the book release blurbs

"How dare you burst in on our private affair?"

a side of of him that oddly inspires.
posted by clavdivs at 11:14 AM on October 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

He used to live in a Nazi mansion.

In At Home With Books, he talks about the many books he has on World War II and the Third Reich. He attributes part of it to his father's experiences in the Great War and part of it due to the nature of being a rock star - another context in which a charismatic figure can whip up emotions in large crowds.
posted by Joe Beese at 11:16 AM on October 21, 2010

another context in which a charismatic figure can whip up emotions in large crowds.

Keith Richards would look hilarious with a Hitler mustache.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:18 AM on October 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

but Hitler did not have Telecaster.
posted by clavdivs at 11:21 AM on October 21, 2010

mmm, drugs. Not just for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, munchies, after-hours drinks, or wake-me-up-with-coffee any more.
I can totally believe the joke about WW3, roaches, and Keith Richards. The man lives staggers for his drugs.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 11:24 AM on October 21, 2010

He preferred the Flying V.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:25 AM on October 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

from link: “He never makes the first move with a woman. ‘I just don't know how to do it,’ he writes. ‘I'm tongue-tied.’ Instead, he claims, his seductive technique was to create an aura of ‘insufferable tension’ and wait for the woman to give in.”

I'm more than a little taken aback to find that Keith Richards and I apparently share the same approach to romantic relationships.
posted by koeselitz at 11:31 AM on October 21, 2010 [12 favorites]

"wow, scissorhands" is my fav from the book release blurbs

What are you talking about? Link?
posted by ericost at 11:45 AM on October 21, 2010

He never makes the first move with a woman. ‘I just don't know how to do it,’ he writes. ‘I'm tongue-tied.’ Instead, he claims, his seductive technique was to create an aura of ‘insufferable tension’ and wait for the woman to give in.

He should post this as an AskMe question.
posted by John Cohen at 11:49 AM on October 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

Great excerpt from recent GQ interview with Keith

Q. Like your immune system-legendary.
A. It's above average, yes.
Q. That's a fact of medical science?
A. Yes. They want it so they can study it and figure out how to make other people much better. [laughs] I mean, I eat everything wrong. I shove terrible things inside me.

Q. Yet you won't eat cheese.
A. No! Cheese is very wrong.
posted by punkfloyd at 11:53 AM on October 21, 2010 [11 favorites]

of all the irrational foibles of my youth, idolizing this guy was the most irrational of all.

btw, I still do.
posted by victors at 11:55 AM on October 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Then one day he was at dinner, and I'm like, 'Whoa!' Scissorhands!"
posted by govtdrone at 11:59 AM on October 21, 2010 [3 favorites]

clavdivs: but Hitler did not have Telecaster.
Astro Zombie: He preferred the Flying V.

I thought Winston Churchill was the flying V man.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 12:04 PM on October 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

What are you talking about? Link?

a flying V... my memory serves you correct ...i'll try google...found some support and no doubt, the V feels nice and can i play about 4 chords.
posted by clavdivs at 12:13 PM on October 21, 2010

marge simpson growl
"Were talking about Hitler right"
"Lisa, stay away from that jazzman"
posted by clavdivs at 12:19 PM on October 21, 2010

"Were talking about Hitler right"

no. but we've already broken Bob Godwin's law (Mike's less popular brother): "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Churchill approaches 0"
posted by victors at 12:27 PM on October 21, 2010

The problem with Godwin's law is that if you have a long enough online discussion, sooner or later you will talk about everything.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:33 PM on October 21, 2010

The thing about Richards' WWII obsession reminded me that Charlie Watts is a well-known American Civil War and Wild West buff. That's not in his Wikipedia article, but this gem is:

A famous anecdote relates that during the mid-1980s, an intoxicated Jagger phoned Watts's hotel room in the middle of the night asking where "my drummer" was. Watts reportedly got up, shaved, dressed in a suit, put on a tie and freshly shined shoes, descended the stairs and punched Jagger in the face, saying: "Don't ever call me your drummer again. You're my fucking singer!"

Charlie Watts fuck yeah!
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:43 PM on October 21, 2010 [24 favorites]

The problem with Godwin's law...

er, I never thought (Mike) Godwin was postulating an actual theorem, more, uh, social and behavioral science satire (?) Broadly, a placeholder for "don't be a dick". For me, the longer a discussion goes the higher the likelihood I will drift off and hear the opening to monkey man in my head.
posted by victors at 1:10 PM on October 21, 2010

Charlie Watts fuck yeah!

Keith Richards, though cool, is not at cool as Charlie Watts.

That is all.
posted by Joe Beese at 2:17 PM on October 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

punkfloyd - Keith's views on cheese (from an interview maybe 12 years ago? Vanity Fair? I have no idea) led to a very long running set of "jokes" (which includes just naming a cheese) on a Rolling Stones discussion group. Partial evidence here.
posted by stevil at 2:31 PM on October 21, 2010

He used to live in a Nazi mansion.

I'm going to guess that that was not the prime reason to rent the particular villa on the French riviera.

Charlie Watts is a well-known American Civil War and Wild West buff.

And Phil Collins is writing a book on the Alamo. Good on him, and I hope it's good.

(plus, what Joe Beese said)
posted by IndigoJones at 2:41 PM on October 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Keith Richards' book tl;dr? Fixed that for you. See what I did there?

Not to take the piss, but for a second, I thought this was going to be a post about MeFi clichés.

The story is interesting, though!
posted by limeonaire at 3:02 PM on October 21, 2010

I have a theory that Keef is really a closet teetotaller who has never touched drugs, and all this is an elaborate smokescreen to pretend otherwise (although I concede I'm probably wrong).

In any event, I believe him to be a deeply unimpressive attention-seeking knobhead.
posted by idiomatika at 5:41 PM on October 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Keith Richards' book tl;dr? Fixed that for you. See what I did there?

Not to take the piss, but for a second, I thought this was going to be a post about MeFi clichés.

Yeah, I also didn't see the point of that. "tl;dr" is totally appropriate, but why add two more random memes?
posted by John Cohen at 5:53 PM on October 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh, yeah, this was on the cover of Rolling Stone. Great to see that Quentin Crisp is still up and at it...
posted by pxe2000 at 6:09 PM on October 21, 2010

Metafilter: tl;dr is totally appropriate, but why add two more random memes
posted by punkfloyd at 6:47 PM on October 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Huge laughs when Keith recently said he snorted his father's ashes with some cocaine. And Keith being Keith, he of drug-enabled nine days without sleep fame, everyone believed him. Then, after a considerable hullaballoo, he revealed he said it for a joke he was misquoted.

But I've only just discovered now, he recanted his recant. He DID snort his father's ashes.

Richards, who last weekend claimed he would live to the age of 150, revealed that although he did snort his father, he did not mix his ashes with cocaine, as his previous NME.COM quote implied.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:43 PM on October 21, 2010

Funny Keef-themed story regarding the time he fell out of a tree and almost killed himself...

A friend of mine, massive Bob Dylan fan, read with much mirth an interview extract where Dylan said he got homicidally angry when fans and the paparazzi would follow him out onto the water when he went canoeing with his family. I think his exact words were that he wanted to set them on fire.

My friend said the only thing funnier in the Universe than seeing Bob Dylan canoeing with his family would be if you happened to be walking past when Keith Richards fell out of the coconut tree.

He has a point.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:59 PM on October 21, 2010

stl;dr
posted by medium format at 6:51 AM on October 22, 2010