Didn't predict that...
October 26, 2010 4:52 AM   Subscribe


 
........
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:54 AM on October 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING.

Sorry, sorry. This is all just so very tragic.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:56 AM on October 26, 2010


C_D: Post title? ;-)
posted by i_cola at 4:57 AM on October 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


pɐǝp sı lnɐd
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:58 AM on October 26, 2010 [17 favorites]


.



may he not be turned into a delicious seafood paella.
posted by liza at 4:59 AM on October 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


.
posted by Sailormom at 5:01 AM on October 26, 2010


.


this dot goes toward the more yellow part of the screen
posted by pompomtom at 5:05 AM on October 26, 2010


Authorities report finding wet footprints matching a pair of wooden shoes walking away from Paul's tank.
posted by briank at 5:05 AM on October 26, 2010 [6 favorites]


Alas, poor Paul. We hardly knew ye.

~~~~*~~~~
posted by zarq at 5:08 AM on October 26, 2010


People are fucking stupid.
posted by empath at 5:14 AM on October 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


I never thought I'd be mourning an octopus.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:14 AM on October 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


So... the fascist octopus really has sung its swan song?
posted by mhoye at 5:16 AM on October 26, 2010


It's a good job its daytime so I can't see the stars going out.
posted by biffa at 5:19 AM on October 26, 2010


How can he die now? It's not the Silly Season...

(A pity the Exmoor Emperor didn't get more attention... Paul's already pushed him off the front page)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:21 AM on October 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


There's a new little angel up in octopus heaven
posted by Flashman at 5:22 AM on October 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


Is there no depth that Arjen Robben will sink to?
posted by PenDevil at 5:24 AM on October 26, 2010 [4 favorites]


Paul is dead.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:25 AM on October 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


.
posted by limeonaire at 5:25 AM on October 26, 2010


He's not dead. He's pining for the vuvuzelas.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:26 AM on October 26, 2010 [19 favorites]


pɐǝp sı lnɐd

Will they lay him to rest in an Octopus's Garden, in the shade?
posted by iviken at 5:26 AM on October 26, 2010 [10 favorites]


\ | /
- . -
/ | \

Alas.
posted by JB71 at 5:30 AM on October 26, 2010 [5 favorites]


Oh sure, now he's dead you'll all joke.

You were all scared to death of him when he was alive and you thought he might put you in the cornfield. I remember. Every one of you. You were all like, "It's good you made Spain win, Paul. Real Good!... It's good you did that. Heh heh. Isn't it great, everyone? We all love you, Paul."
posted by Naberius at 5:35 AM on October 26, 2010 [14 favorites]


Who could have predicted all the 'didn't predict that' jokes now flooding twitter?
posted by memebake at 5:38 AM on October 26, 2010


I knew it was coming...he already had seven feet in the grave.
posted by lobstah at 5:39 AM on October 26, 2010 [4 favorites]


he wanted to be
under the sea
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:40 AM on October 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


What, no recipes?
posted by h00py at 5:42 AM on October 26, 2010


He knew too much.
posted by tommasz at 5:46 AM on October 26, 2010 [4 favorites]


If this is his prediction for humanity, then I guess we're all fucked.
posted by knapah at 5:47 AM on October 26, 2010


The description of Paul as an "English-born" octopus just cracks me up. We might have a shit football team but we've got the best psychic octopi in the world!
posted by ninebelow at 5:48 AM on October 26, 2010 [15 favorites]


Why has JB71 drawn a bumhole?
posted by ninebelow at 5:48 AM on October 26, 2010


.

Santo subito!
posted by runincircles at 5:49 AM on October 26, 2010


No flowers
posted by muthecow at 5:59 AM on October 26, 2010


Paul the Psychic Octopus is dead.

Can the tell-all biography be far behind?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:02 AM on October 26, 2010


There are always lots of suckers for stories like this, so there's sure to be a lot of ink spilled over it today.
posted by pracowity at 6:04 AM on October 26, 2010 [10 favorites]


They shot him? Because he was too famous? I don't get it.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 6:04 AM on October 26, 2010


Post title? ;-)

Yeah, that was a woosh.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:05 AM on October 26, 2010


The Octopus is dead. Long live the Octopus.
posted by emilyd22222 at 6:14 AM on October 26, 2010


The description of Paul as an "English-born" octopus just cracks me up. We might have a shit football team but we've got the best psychic octopi in the world!

The correct term is Psychic Octopodes, said with a British Accent (which I cannot do in comment form).

Carry On.
posted by Lord_Pall at 6:14 AM on October 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


It must say something about either me or humanity (or both entities) that the Exmoor Emperor being killed just left me kind of quietly sad and angry, but when I saw this, there was loud wailing and posting to facebook and o the huge manatee, etc.
posted by kalimac at 6:18 AM on October 26, 2010


The correct term is Psychic Octopodes, said with a British Accent (which I cannot do in comment form).

Carry On.
posted by Lord_Pall


Eponysomething.
posted by Floydd at 6:20 AM on October 26, 2010


He has now become more powerful than we can possibly imagine.
posted by mazola at 6:45 AM on October 26, 2010 [7 favorites]


The ink's not even dry and you're all making jokes.
posted by vbfg at 6:48 AM on October 26, 2010 [5 favorites]


So long and thanks for all the fish, or whatever it is that octopodes eat!
posted by sonika at 6:49 AM on October 26, 2010


You should, perhaps, be grateful that Paul's species has such a short life.

I've seen it said that octopi are so intelligent that, if they lived longer, they'd have formed a civilization. Their lifespans are something like four years, so they simply don't have time to develop much in the way of higher thinking, but they are incredibly smart, able to use tools and, apparently, reason somewhat abstractly.

And at least some of them probably have a theory of mind, because they're able to emulate other dangerous creatures. One video I saw showed an octopus swimming along with his tentacles held just right to look like a lionfish, an invasive and dangerous fish that's spreading all over the ocean, largely thanks to us. From what I recall, this was in an area where the lionfish was an invader, so the octopus was smart enough to figure out that A) lionfish are dangerous, B) other creatures won't eat lionfish, and C) therefore, I should try to look like a lionfish. He didn't evolve to do this, he figured it out.

Paul's untimely death may be something of a blessing, from a big-picture POV. That old joke about the new octopus overlords isn't actually that far off.

All kidding aside, I absolutely refuse to eat them on moral grounds. I'm a big carnivore, and I'll happily chomp on most meats, but I will never knowingly eat an octopus.
posted by Malor at 7:04 AM on October 26, 2010 [27 favorites]


.
posted by Iridic at 7:11 AM on October 26, 2010


The correct term is Psychic Octopodes , said with a British Accent (which I cannot do in comment form).

Actually, the link you posted comes down on the side of Psychic Octopuses.
posted by arcticwoman at 7:24 AM on October 26, 2010


Can we plese mourn in peace?
posted by kuatto at 7:25 AM on October 26, 2010


He wrapped his tentacles in a death grip around our hearts.
posted by Joe Beese at 7:30 AM on October 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Nearly all octopus species are semelparous (they breed just once and then die). I wonder if Paul sowed his oats before shuffling/squirting/undulating off this mortal coil...
posted by jonesor at 7:33 AM on October 26, 2010


Okay, I watched Oldboy the other day, and is that an octopus that he eats alive?

Because after reading Malor's comment, I now visualize the dude chowing down on a toddler.
posted by angrycat at 7:34 AM on October 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


They're smart little creatures but not very long lived. This is probably a good thing for humans because if they lived any longer they would start to develop transmissible culture and eventually kill us all.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:36 AM on October 26, 2010


He predicted my team, the Dutch, would lose, so here you go:

Ingredients

* Vegetable oil, for deep-frying
* 1 pound clean squid with tentacles, bodies cut into 1/3- to 1/2-inch-thick rings
* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 2 tablespoons dried parsley
* Salt and freshly ground black pepper
* 2 lemons, cut into wedges
* 1 cup simple tomato sauce, recipe follows or jarred marinara sauce, warmed

Directions

Pour enough oil into a heavy large saucepan to reach the depth of 3 inches. Heat over medium heat to 350 degrees F. Mix the flour, parsley, salt, and pepper in a large bowl. Working in small batches, toss the squid into the flour mixture to coat. Carefully add the squid to the oil and fry until crisp and very pale golden, about 1 minute per batch. Using tongs or a slotted spoon, transfer the fried calamari to a paper-towel lined plate to drain.

Place the fried calamari and lemon wedges on a clean plate. Sprinkle with salt. Serve with the marinara sauce.
posted by DreamerFi at 7:45 AM on October 26, 2010 [4 favorites]


kidding - as a diver, I know how awesome they are
posted by DreamerFi at 7:45 AM on October 26, 2010


|            |     |           |
|  D E A D   |     | A L I V E |
|   _____    |     |           |
|  /     \   |     |           |
|  | x x |   |     |           |
|  \  ⁔  /   |	   |           |
|   -----    |     |           |
|  //|\||\   |     |           |
==============     =============

posted by mazola at 8:03 AM on October 26, 2010 [9 favorites]


I'm calling in Aquaman, this case sounds .....


fishy



YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
posted by The Whelk at 8:24 AM on October 26, 2010 [3 favorites]


now lets all hold hands and sing of Paul, in his little hideaway beneath the waves
posted by The Whelk at 8:28 AM on October 26, 2010


Why has JB71 drawn a bumhole?

It was a . octopus, of course.

Sheesh.

At least three others got it, though...
posted by JB71 at 8:54 AM on October 26, 2010


What Malor said. They are so smart that I no longer eat octopus. They also have a sense of humor and play practical jokes. I am not kidding about that. It always seems incredibly wrong and sad to see octopus corpses for sale in local fish markets -- like laying out dead dolphins or border collies for purchase and consumption.

I am sorry he died young, even for an octopus.

.
posted by bearwife at 8:58 AM on October 26, 2010 [2 favorites]


He's gone to join Cuthulu now.

He'll see YOU later.
posted by Balisong at 9:02 AM on October 26, 2010


.
posted by ducky l'orange at 9:28 AM on October 26, 2010


.
posted by stoneweaver at 9:36 AM on October 26, 2010


I actually predicted that he'd die this fall, but I was way off about events taking a tragic turn while he was a guest of honor at the Red Wings' season opener.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:38 AM on October 26, 2010


.
posted by Lutoslawski at 9:47 AM on October 26, 2010


.
posted by HandfulOfDust at 10:00 AM on October 26, 2010


Tarvu tarvooti,
Oboonoo cTooti,
Mimmin O'tibbi noonah,
Mdfitty fitty noonah,
Arvu immentiBarvu,
Tarvu.

posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:03 AM on October 26, 2010


.
posted by homunculus at 10:08 AM on October 26, 2010


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posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:17 AM on October 26, 2010


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posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:42 AM on October 26, 2010


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posted by orrnyereg at 10:45 AM on October 26, 2010


People are fucking stupid.
posted by empath


Ha!
posted by backseatpilot at 11:09 AM on October 26, 2010


.
posted by Xoebe at 11:37 AM on October 26, 2010


Yea that's going to stink.
posted by stormpooper at 11:42 AM on October 26, 2010


Undertaker: (calling) Fred!

Fred's voice: Yeah?

Undertaker: I think we've got an eater.

Man: What?


(Fred, another undertaker, pokes his head round the door)

Fred: Right, I'll get the oven on. (goes off)
posted by Auden at 12:07 PM on October 26, 2010


Marks on Paul's corpse look suspiciously like cleat marks. Nigel de Jong has been called in for questioning.
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 12:26 PM on October 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


From Twitter: "Paul the Octopus not dead after all, was just worried the sealife centre lacked ambition, but has now signed a lucrative 5 year contract ."
posted by Errant at 12:30 PM on October 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


I agree with Malor, Cephalopods freak me the fuck out.

You fools keep eating your calamari if you want but when they rise up and start fighting back I'm not going to be hunted by the cuttlefish ninjas.
posted by Bonzai at 3:09 PM on October 26, 2010


> You fools keep eating your calamari if you want but when they rise up and start fighting back I'm not going to be hunted by the cuttlefish ninjas.

They all eat each other anyway so they're certainly not going to show you any mercy in any case.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:17 PM on October 26, 2010


Yeah right. If octopi are all as smart as you claim, and this one is correctly predicting Major World Events - that's a risk to national security. This death thing is just a cover story. He's totally been moved into the Octopus Protection Program.

*watches out the front window for black SUVs*
posted by empatterson at 3:18 PM on October 26, 2010


Is this something I'd have to have eight tentacles to understand?
posted by beepbeepboopboop at 3:38 PM on October 26, 2010


:(
posted by Paul the Octopus at 4:15 PM on October 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


Marks on Paul's corpse look suspiciously like cleat marks. Nigel de Jong has been called in for questioning.
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 12:26 PM

I know what you are referring too Rarebit Fiend. If Paul comes back as a higher being, surely it will be Xabi Alonso. Xabi is a higher being than just about anyone else on a football pitch. Paul The Predictor will come back as Xabi, except with 8 legs (an Octo-footed Alonso, if you will) each leg capable of scoring from the halfway line.

Justice for at least one of De Jong's offences would be a start.
posted by Nick Verstayne at 4:45 PM on October 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


I will forever be happy about Paul mania. He inspired us to have our own animal oracles in the house as we had our cats, Weens and Pizazz, pick the winners of the WC final by which food bowl they ate out of first. I'm sad to say that our cats are not psychic in the slightest.
posted by josher71 at 6:13 AM on October 27, 2010


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