Have you ever wondered about your sexuality?

August 29, 2001 3:48 PM

Have you ever wondered about your sexuality? If you're like me, no. But, you might want to mosey over here and check on it anyway. Who knows what happened to it since the last time you looked? This quiz attempts to guess your sexuality based on the answers you give to multiple choice questions. There's a AI program behind it that grows more intelligent as more people take the quiz.
posted by RustyBrooks (54 comments total)

Hm. It said I was straight but then it did not ask me about my college sexual experiences or my knowledge around a tool belt. heh.
posted by gloege at 3:56 PM on August 29, 2001

I got bisexual, which I'm pleased about because it makes me seem more interesting than I actually am.
posted by Summer at 4:06 PM on August 29, 2001

I'm 50.46% gay apparently.
It's the shopping.
Definately the shopping.
And I'm a good listener.
(so why would I like to jump Gwyneth Paltrow's bones?)
posted by feelinglistless at 4:06 PM on August 29, 2001

It thinks I'm bisexual, with a 20%.

Which is kinda interesting, cause I'm straight. Wouldn't mind being called bi, so long as I don't actually have to have sex with women. Which defeats the purpose, I know.
posted by stoneegg21 at 4:11 PM on August 29, 2001

I think wanting to jump Gwyneth Paltrow's bones makes you gay, man. That's like having sex with a teenage boy.
posted by Doug at 4:12 PM on August 29, 2001

Wouldn't mind being called bi, so long as I don't actually have to have sex with women.

Oh I know. Everthing about lesbianism appeals apart from supping on the hairy clam.

I think wanting to jump Gwyneth Paltrow's bones makes you gay, man. That's like having sex with a teenage boy.

It would surely lead to grievous injury. A cut from one of her hip bones could be lethal.
posted by Summer at 4:17 PM on August 29, 2001

I got "asexual". I think it's because I lowballed an answer. When I retook the test, with a couple of slightly different answers, it gave 20% gay.

So, does wanting to be a fedora make me hot for Harrison Ford?

(remaining silent on the "correct" answer)
posted by djfiander at 4:19 PM on August 29, 2001

djflander - yes. :)
posted by gloege at 4:24 PM on August 29, 2001

I believe it was on the British blog Pop Bitch that I recently read an account, presumably by a friend ofthe writer, who told of seeing G.Paltrow giving a blowjob to a leading man in a film she was making (in the trailer)...at least this would prevent hip injuries.,
posted by Postroad at 4:29 PM on August 29, 2001

It knew I was straight, but with only 31.31% confidence. Impressive--usually there are too many questions about "practical shoes" and I get pegged as a lesbian.

So to speak.
posted by frykitty at 4:30 PM on August 29, 2001

I think wanting to jump Gwyneth Paltrow's bones makes you gay, man. That's like having sex with a teenage boy.

Or any other generic vaguely attractive young actress - I could have put Minnie Driver here also or Julie Delpie - slightly worried by that final remark...
posted by feelinglistless at 4:36 PM on August 29, 2001

I wonder how these results compare to the Gay Test at The Spark.
posted by muckster at 4:37 PM on August 29, 2001

I actually spoke to Christian (at the spark) about it at one time. The Spark's test was released within a few days of the burly adventurer test. He took the quiz, and seemed to like it. Their quiz is static, in that they gave all the questions/answers a rating to start with. I think their test is funnier/funner than mine but I like mine too. I'd like to see how accurate it could get.
posted by RustyBrooks at 4:40 PM on August 29, 2001

Well, since it pegged me as straight, the test is seriously flawed, since I've been a big ol' Mary for years.
posted by mattee at 4:41 PM on August 29, 2001

gloege: given the choice between Harrison and Gwyneth, it would be a very difficult choice ;-)
posted by djfiander at 4:43 PM on August 29, 2001

93.77% confidence. I guess I'm just a typical straight guy... Oh well. I still like wearing dresses. :-p
posted by whatnotever at 4:46 PM on August 29, 2001

No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
That's what I am
Please understand
I wanna be your holy man
posted by Chairman_MaoXian at 4:50 PM on August 29, 2001

Rusty are you admitting to a self-link. In broad daylight? What are you, nuts?
posted by cell divide at 4:51 PM on August 29, 2001

Whew straight. Without these tests I'd still be confused.
posted by geoff. at 5:03 PM on August 29, 2001

They are 14% conifident that I am bisexual.

Which way do I lean??

Inquiring minds want to know...
posted by szg8 at 5:13 PM on August 29, 2001

I'm 50.46% gay apparently.

it might be that you're british, feelinglistless. this test might be based upon u.s. perceptions of what makes someone "gay." and i've often heard that what british males perceive as normal behavior, males in the u.s. think of as "gay."
posted by kathryn at 5:19 PM on August 29, 2001

They're 41.3% confident I'm bi. It's because I like shopping and muscials, I just know it. Does this post make me look fat?
posted by briank at 5:22 PM on August 29, 2001

briank: it's the stripes. Horizontal stripes are just not you!
posted by djfiander at 5:24 PM on August 29, 2001

Could I be any more queer? I suppose I could, but it might be dangerous to my health. We think you are Gay and we are 89.69% confident with our answer.

"I'd rather have my flame shine bright than be a little pilot light."
posted by benjh at 5:30 PM on August 29, 2001

Was I really told that I our burly friend was negative 10.87% sure that I was gay? What could that mean?
posted by thebigpoop at 5:40 PM on August 29, 2001

They think I'm bi with 0.46% certainty. Can't get much less certain than that. (They're wrong, as it happens.)
posted by kindall at 5:44 PM on August 29, 2001

They are 69.45% sure I'm not bi-sexual. More surprisingly, I'm 8% Palestinian! : )
posted by ParisParamus at 5:49 PM on August 29, 2001

The less subtle test poses me such questions as, "Have you ever danced with another guy, like at a party or something?" I feel that too many quiz authors haven't really stretched their deductive capacity all that much. "If you got 20-30 points, you like picking the letter A."
posted by scissorfish at 5:51 PM on August 29, 2001

The test is 27.27% confident that I'm straight. This is what a Puritanical upbringing and an unapologetic fondness for 80's music and musicals gets me.
posted by ed at 6:20 PM on August 29, 2001

it tells me that another 20% and i'll become more popular with drunken frat boys.
posted by jcterminal at 6:25 PM on August 29, 2001

the test program was 50.67% confident i was straight, or something. however, once upon a time, someone sent me an email about something i'd written in my weblog and said, "don't worry, sister"; what should i make of this?
posted by moz at 6:36 PM on August 29, 2001

36.81% that i'm straight. and there's nothing wrong with minnie driver. she's scrumdillyupmtious... wait, why did my straight percentage just go down to 15%?
posted by lotsofno at 6:39 PM on August 29, 2001

Well, whaddaya know? It was -17% certain I was "Asexual". That was a change from 50% certain I was straight. I went back and thought through some of the questions a little more.

Okay...what now?
posted by tpoh.org at 7:03 PM on August 29, 2001

I took the test that scissorfish linked.....

Here are the results.

I am 26% Gay.

Based on my earlier test results of 14% BI.

Which, based on complex algorithms, I must be 60% straight.

All in all I feel vindicated -- I KNEW I was straight! Now I have TWO polls which confirm my beliefs!
posted by szg8 at 7:09 PM on August 29, 2001

it said that with 80% confidence that i'm straight. i guess you can't tell a book by it's cover or a lesbian by her answers!!!
posted by bas67 at 8:01 PM on August 29, 2001

36.52% certainty that I'm straight (which I am).

And I can confirm that my friend here is at the very least a lesbian trapped in a man's body.
posted by owillis at 8:09 PM on August 29, 2001

"We are 74.89% sure that you are straight."

Strong words, from an imperfect test. The thing is, they'd be right if they said they were 74.89% sure that I was not a stereotypical homosexual man. I'm not.

But I'm still gay. Heh.
posted by Poagao at 9:00 PM on August 29, 2001

I'm boring... it guessed with 50.32% confidence that I am straight. And I am. Oh. Yay.
posted by Neale at 9:43 PM on August 29, 2001

I know who I am. Yes, I have had my doubts at times. But I always come back to what i expected in the first place. I dont need a web page to tell me this.

An interesting site. However and, IMO, that is where it ends also.
posted by tp3wen at 10:18 PM on August 29, 2001

The test was 65.15% confident that I'm bisexual. I was pretty surprised to hear that, especially since I thought I was a raging heterosexual.
posted by lnicole at 11:11 PM on August 29, 2001

The test was 62% confident that I am straight, which seems high since I consider myself a closet heterosexual.
posted by drunkkeith at 11:29 PM on August 29, 2001

It was about 40% sure I was straight. I'm only about 60% sure, myself.
posted by jetgrrl at 11:52 PM on August 29, 2001

and i've often heard that what british males perceive as normal behavior

Somehow proving the point I thought. Average behaviour for a British male is to go out on a weekend, drink 20 beers, go home with some miscellaeous woman (who is equally drunk) and to holler at a televised football match. Oh and to read a tabloid or a lad mag.

Thankfully, we aren't all like that. It's just that English men in American films tend to be gay...
posted by feelinglistless at 11:58 PM on August 29, 2001

dude. it was 8.97% sure i'm...asexual? wtf. i'm, like, the gayest thing on the planet. other than her, i mean.
posted by patricking at 12:28 AM on August 30, 2001

Having a twin brother who is gay, I thought I'd test my wondertwin powers (shape of: ice cubes! form of: hi-ball glass!) to see if i could channel his gayness into my responses. Voila -- 26.81% gay! I think he might take umbrage with that low score, though i responded with utter candor regarding his soaps...
posted by katexmcfly at 12:58 AM on August 30, 2001

They're 37.81% certain I'm gay.

But that's ok, 'cause gay guys get all the chicks.
posted by fidelity at 2:31 AM on August 30, 2001

Does spelling colour "colour" make me more or less gay? Makes no difference to me, I'm PoMo-sexual.
posted by Mocata at 4:46 AM on August 30, 2001

I think it might be there to establish Britishness rather than Gayness. Similarly the trousers question.

Straight with 43% certainty.
posted by Grangousier at 4:49 AM on August 30, 2001

It's 68.03% confident I am straight. That gives me 31.07% chance of having a lesbian experience. Please let it be Gwen.
posted by witchstone at 7:33 AM on August 30, 2001

If I say I'm a woman, I'm straight with 6% confidence. If I say I'm a man, I'm bi with -9% confidence. WHAT CAN IT ALL MEAN?!?!

I may have skewed the test by giving all "gay male" answers. This despite being a straight girl. Can I help it if I know all the words to Gershwin show tunes?
posted by Pyth at 8:18 AM on August 30, 2001

I took the test twice. First it thought I was asexual with 20% confidence, which was mildly disturbing. (Did I forget to answer the masturbation question, or something?) Then I tweaked a couple of answers and then it thought I was straight, with 30% confidence. When will it affirm my certainty that I'm a happy-go-lucky lesbian? When when when?
posted by Hildegarde at 11:04 AM on August 30, 2001

it said I was ~70% straight. which sounds about right. but here, I have my own "gay test" !

1). Have you ever had sexual relations with a member of the same sex?

If so, you're probably gay. Or bisexual, at least.
(hey, I never said it'd be better than the other tests...)

:P
posted by charles at 11:55 AM on August 30, 2001

66.01% straight
I figured that admitting that I enjoy musicals would stump the test but I suspect admitting that I may be a bit malodorous probably outweighed that.
As it happens, I'm a nonpracticing heterosexual who has been considering becoming a lesbian.
posted by Octaviuz at 12:17 PM on August 30, 2001

okay I'm supposedly straight with 55.47% confidence!
yeah, I said it was colour and that RuPaul was an alien...hehehehehe! I amuse myself.

anyway, the answer is very, very truuue. at least my boyfriend would know. *smirk*

oh, oh yes, I also like the whole idea of being british; though trousers if a funny, funny word.
posted by aekastar at 6:48 PM on August 31, 2001