Comments on: "Don't come in, I'm... doing my utmost in the fight against cancer!"

"Don't come in, I'm... doing my utmost in the fight against cancer!"

crossoverman — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:26:11 -0800

Masturbation cuts cancer risk! That is all.

By: Ghidorah

Ghidorah — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:27:42 -0800

The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s. I knew my long years of loneliness weren't for nothing!

By: dibblda

dibblda — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:29:40 -0800

Good news for nerds everywhere!

By: Mikey-San

Mikey-San — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:44:46 -0800

I'm out, Jerry.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:47:46 -0800

It's like, what can't masturbation do?

By: billyfleetwood

billyfleetwood — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:50:12 -0800

Thus explaining the astronomically low incidences of prostate cancer among 14 year old boys.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:52:01 -0800

Who's up for some "Ask me about my cancer prevention program" T-shirts?

By: TedW

TedW — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 02:58:15 -0800

For fucks sake, what are you guys doing on MetaFilter when you could be saving your own lives!

By: doublehappy

doublehappy — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:01:06 -0800

"flushing out" Way to take the fun out of it. I accept that sex with many different people increases your risk of STIs but if you're regularly ejaculating in, on, with the same partner that's fine, right? Not that I don't masturbate whenever I get the opportunity anyway.

By: lilywing13

lilywing13 — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:08:26 -0800

A good friend of mine since late high school had some prostate issue that could have been cancerous in the long run, and pretty early on. We were scared for him when he was 20. His doctor's "prescription" was to "relieve pressure" at least once a day, one way or another. My friend is now a single dad with a couple of kids (ex-wife is deployed in the military), quite healthy, and has a great long-term prognosis. His initial diagnosis was over 20 years ago. Hooray for the simplest treatment!

By: chavenet

chavenet — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:11:35 -0800

Is it because it's hard to smoke while masturbating?

By: metaBugs

metaBugs — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:16:22 -0800

For fucks sake, what are you guys doing on MetaFilter when you could be saving your own lives! Some of us can multi-task.

By: sonascope

sonascope — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:17:44 -0800

I am apparently destined to live forever.

By: sebastienbailard

sebastienbailard — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:18:15 -0800

Is it because it's hard to smoke while masturbating? Hard to stay lit, certainly. Although perhaps we are both doing it wrong.

By: fallacy of the beard

fallacy of the beard — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:18:49 -0800

For fucks sake, what are you guys doing on MetaFilter when you could be saving your own lives! i can't be the only one doing both at the same time.

By: crossoverman

crossoverman — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:21:36 -0800

I can fap to this.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:23:56 -0800

For fucks sake, what are you guys doing on MetaFilter when you could be saving your own lives! Fap it and move on.

By: Mikey-San

Mikey-San — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:32:59 -0800

Wait, I thought posting on MetaFilter was masturbation.

By: Hartster

Hartster — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:35:18 -0800

An article from 2003? Really? What has happened to your eyesight to make you overlook etc

By: vapidave

vapidave — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:40:41 -0800

Bad news for Christine O'Donnell is again good news for me. Pardon me my brief but enthusiastic celebration.

By: Redhush

Redhush — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:48:07 -0800

don't worry Ted, I got another tab open...

By: pracowity

pracowity — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 03:58:18 -0800

Ceiling cat is giving you the Cancer Council "Ceil" of Approval.

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:00:51 -0800

This is old (note the linked BBC news article is over 7 years old). This is not a consistent finding, and I would say newer research which finds the exact opposite is more plausible.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:05:06 -0800

...note the linked BBC news article is over 7 years old... I assume all the wankers commenting here are, also.

By: caddis

caddis — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:06:34 -0800

buzzkill

By: chavenet

chavenet — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:13:42 -0800

and I would say newer research which finds the exact opposite is more plausible. You want we should take seriously, in a thread about wanking, an article in the BJUI written (in part) by Richard Pocock and Artitaya Lophatananon? You've just given me fresh material for another quick round of prevention.

By: XMLicious

XMLicious — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:20:33 -0800

previously

By: Ghidorah

Ghidorah — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:35:34 -0800

I would say newer research which finds the exact opposite is more plausible. You couldn't have told me that like 20 years ago? Damn. I went from feeling immortal to, well, preparing my will. Thanks for killing a good evening.

By: The 10th Regiment of Foot

The 10th Regiment of Foot — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:38:23 -0800

How can they be sure in this study? I mean, how are you going to find a control group? (AN HONEST CONTROL GROUP)

By: DZ-015

DZ-015 — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:53:29 -0800

Thank you god. Again.

By: buzzman

buzzman — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:57:58 -0800

Tissue!

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 04:59:01 -0800

Do I sense a Nob-bell Prize coming?

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 05:09:11 -0800

The public education campaigns would have a ready stream of catchy slogans. For example, "Help rub out cancer". Or in the UK, "Give cancer the toss"

By: sonika

sonika — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 05:25:03 -0800

Only for dudes though. I guess as a lady, I'll just have to masturbate in solidarity.

By: liza

liza — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 05:25:33 -0800

Metafilter: Fap it and move on.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 05:35:45 -0800

For fucks sake, what are you guys doing on MetaFilter when you could be saving your own lives! tybeng rebrys weth wan hand

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 05:53:19 -0800

This is why I make it a point to regularly affirm my consequents.

By: Johnny Wallflower

Johnny Wallflower — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 05:58:44 -0800

I'll be in my bunk.

By: Curious Artificer

Curious Artificer — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 06:07:04 -0800

Double. We've known about this for years, right guys?

By: Old'n'Busted

Old'n'Busted — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 06:17:38 -0800

Or you know, just have regular sex every day, like normal married couples. What?

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 06:44:12 -0800

Men! Let's lend each other a hand and rub out cancer!

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 06:53:27 -0800

But is it carcinogenic to swallow?

By: tommasz

tommasz — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 06:55:38 -0800

I can neither confirm nor deny that this has or has not worked for me.

By: orme

orme — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 07:02:13 -0800

I have a porn prescription, which I conveniently refill online.

By: Hardcore Poser

Hardcore Poser — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 07:06:37 -0800

*Prophylaxes furiously*

By: ChurchHatesTucker

ChurchHatesTucker — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 07:23:15 -0800

"What are you doing in there?" "CURING CANCER!"

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 07:35:00 -0800

"Had we been able to remove ejaculations associated with sexual intercourse... The brighter side of not getting laid from 1990 - 1993.

By: spoobnooble

spoobnooble — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 07:36:34 -0800

.... a-a-a-a-a-nd I'm done.

By: ODiV

ODiV — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 07:53:39 -0800

Is it because it's hard to smoke while masturbating? If you're smoking while masturbating then you need more lube.

By: ahimsakid

ahimsakid — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 07:55:52 -0800

Thank you Rosy

By: creeky

creeky — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 08:07:20 -0800

Only for dudes though. Don't be so sure - I heard that the rate of prostate cancer among women who masturbate is actually close to zero.

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 08:14:01 -0800

too blind; couldn't read.

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 08:27:39 -0800

Duh. Somebody already mentioned it, but very old news here. It only confirms what everyone has known forever. You gotta clean your pipes. If you don't do it consciously, your body will do it anyway. And if it doesn't, you get sick.

By: Decani

Decani — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 09:07:27 -0800

I knew the "m" in Movember didn't really stand for "moustache".

By: Trochanter

Trochanter — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 09:12:17 -0800

"I'm doing my part!" "I'm doing my part!" "We're all doing our part!"

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 09:15:22 -0800

We're all pulling our part!

By: chairface

chairface — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 10:13:55 -0800

The "This is a plausible theory" call-out box is gold. Just non-committal enough to be funny. Kind of a science "Meh, maybe."

By: Mr. Bad Example

Mr. Bad Example — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 11:19:53 -0800

I mean, how are you going to find a control group? They're the ones walking around snapping at everyone and holding books in front of their crotches.

By: SaharaRose

SaharaRose — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 12:11:17 -0800

It's apparently good for women too. (Though not sure I trust the science on this, it was the only thing I got from a quick Google.) I also found the 2009 reference to the 180. "Nope, sorry, masturbation is bad for you." Things I wasn't expecting to Google today.....

By: trondant

trondant — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 13:47:43 -0800

Way ahead of you.

By: Old'n'Busted

Old'n'Busted — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 17:10:59 -0800

Well, it's a good thing Christine O'Donnell didn't get elected then. Oh, and crossoverman: you really should have "...and here comes the science" as the link.

By: IAmBroom

IAmBroom — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 17:16:20 -0800

Metafilter: it's mastur... no! I can't do it! I HATE that meme!

By: TedW

TedW — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 17:40:13 -0800

Or you know, just have regular sex every day, like normal married couples. Ahh, newlyweds...

By: mike3k

mike3k — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 21:26:34 -0800

By: dhartung

dhartung — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 21:35:47 -0800

We are a lonely horny people And we are fapping, fapping for our lives 3x Followed by We Shall Overcome

By: falcon

falcon — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 01:40:48 -0800

early work missed the protective effect of ejaculation. Prophylactic effect, surely?

By: krinklyfig

krinklyfig — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 07:20:59 -0800

I recently had a prostate infection (very unpleasant & I'll never take peeing for granted again). Once it was pretty much back to normal, my doctor told me to ejaculate regularly. But not for 5 days before I have to get a PSA test. Oh, hey, don't sweat it. Turns out some colleges aren't paying attention to that test anymore. What?

By: ChurchHatesTucker

ChurchHatesTucker — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 17:33:05 -0800

Metafilter: I HATE that meme!