The Greasiest Sandwich Ever: Bacon, Hot Dogs, French Fries, Cheese, Gravy, French Toast And Maple Syrup Combine In "Angry French Canadian."

November 6, 2010 5:54 PM

"We're Canadian and we're crazy, too". Welcome to The Angry French Canadian. From the "authors" of the worst pizza ever. Bacon, Hot Dogs, French Fries, Cheese, Gravy, French Toast And Maple Syrup combine for 5,343 calories of sheer heaven. Or not sheer heaven. C'est tout.

Poutine, for the uninitiated.

posted by YamwotIam (33 comments total)

There's a place by me that does a poutine pizza. Legend has it it cures hangovers.
posted by mannequito at 6:00 PM on November 6, 2010

No foie gras? Pffft.
posted by reformedjerk at 6:04 PM on November 6, 2010

It should have been called the 'Angry French Canadian.
posted by unSane at 6:04 PM on November 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

Poutine is poutine. Here in Toronto, "gourmet" poutine places have opened up, with pulled pork, or chipped beef, or potabello mushroom gravy, or what have you. In the same way a crantini or lichee-ni is not a martini, heirloom potatoes, artisan sheep cheese dollops and truffle-aoli organic gluten-free vegan gravy do not a poutine make. But I do admire this sandwich.
posted by parki at 6:13 PM on November 6, 2010 [3 favorites]

I had a cardiac infarction just looking at it.
posted by modernnomad at 6:20 PM on November 6, 2010

I just had a "hot chocolate" in Montreal — they had two kinds, regular and intense. Intense has more chocolate and is made entirely with cream. I have always dreamed of a hot chocolate made with lots of chocolate and pure cream, and here it was. I now know why they aren't more common. My stomach has been aching for four hours straight, and I am still shaking. Quebec really is the land of delicious food high in fat and sugar.
posted by esprit de l'escalier at 6:25 PM on November 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

Poutine is poutine

I went to university in Quebec (Bishop's) and our local greek restaurant made the best poutine in the world. Or at least that was how it tasted after the pub closed at 3am.

I remember one year when Macleans did their annual university ratings. They did a piece on poutine and quoted 2 restaurants. One was from Queens and they went on about the special mixture of cheese, hand crafted gravy and specially cut fries. They made it sound like an adventure in food tasting.

The cook at the Village Greque was more succinct. He said "it's just frozen french fries, canned gravy and cheese curds but the kids love it".

I know which one was the more authentic poutine...
posted by smcniven at 6:48 PM on November 6, 2010 [2 favorites]

I like the part where two english guys made the greasiest sandwich ever and named it after an ethnic group which has been the very conspicuous target of a large number of english Canadians.
posted by splice at 6:54 PM on November 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

Reminds me of the munchy box (previously on MetaFilter).
posted by grouse at 7:05 PM on November 6, 2010

I like the part where two english guys made the greasiest sandwich ever...

I can't be sure, but I'd put my money on the main guy being a french montrealer. I've met a few from the city proper who's English is so pitch perfect that it's hard to believe that they were raised by a french family... but there's still traces. If I had to put money on it, I'd say the big guy is French Canadian, and the two other dudes are Americans.
posted by Alex404 at 7:07 PM on November 6, 2010

I like the part where two english guys made the greasiest sandwich ever and named it after an ethnic group which has been the very conspicuous target of a large number of english Canadians

Indeed. But me, I'm planning on having a bloke, or two slices of chilled Wonderbread with (yellow) margarine in between, dipped in a steaming sauce of ignorance and condescension.
posted by docgonzo at 7:11 PM on November 6, 2010 [2 favorites]

Nobody tries to out-America and gets away with it.

Sleep with one eye open, Quebec.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 7:12 PM on November 6, 2010 [3 favorites]

err, out-America America.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 7:14 PM on November 6, 2010

This made me hungry. For breakfast and lunch.
posted by Simon Barclay at 8:05 PM on November 6, 2010

Montreal is also home of the Michigan Hot-Dog, a variety of hot dog that I've never encountered in the years I've lived in Michigan.

So while I would never trust a Montrealer with reliably accounting for the geographic or social histories of food, I do believe that they know what the hell they're doing when it comes to making food that wants to kill you.
posted by ardgedee at 8:12 PM on November 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

I like the part where two english guys made the greasiest sandwich ever and named it after an ethnic group which has been the very conspicuous target of a large number of english Canadians.

Yeah, and incorrect pronunciation of poutine leads me to believe they are from Ontario. The correct pronunciation is poo-tin as in tin can and not poo-teen as in teenage fanclub.
posted by furtive at 8:23 PM on November 6, 2010

This didn't catch my eye, but the worst pizza ever did. All the fat.. yet so tantalizing. I am truly just an ape.
posted by Askiba at 8:34 PM on November 6, 2010

Yeah, and incorrect pronunciation of poutine leads me to believe they are from Ontario. The correct pronunciation is poo-tin as in tin can and not poo-teen as in teenage fanclub.

Definitely. And for the love of god, don't pronounce it poo-tain as in ehn (that would be the eh of meh with an enn on the back).
posted by Lemurrhea at 8:48 PM on November 6, 2010

Too much syrup. Otherwise, looks good.
posted by bardic at 9:00 PM on November 6, 2010

I like the part where two english guys made the greasiest sandwich ever and named it after an ethnic group which has been the very conspicuous target of a large number of english Canadians.

Um ... it's poutine. I've personally never eaten it, (as it's clearly disgusting, and an affront against nature) but I hardly think that some frat boys picking the low-hanging fruit of the Interweb's juvenile obsession with sugar,bacon, and grease is suddenly stifling Francophone "culture" somehow.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 9:10 PM on November 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

In New Brunswick (the one on New Jersey), we have the fat sandwich. A fat sandwich contains at least four each of the following: fries, potato chips, gyro meat bits, chicken fingers, russian dressing, ketchup, mayonaise.
posted by subdee at 9:23 PM on November 6, 2010

Hooper: "I've got that beat. I've got that beat!"

Black olives, anchovies, white pizza with no cheese. Yup, olive oil and pesto, no sauce or cheese. Layered with extra black olives and extra anchovies. I lost a $20 bet over whether I could eat a slice of it, and then lost another $20 bux when the skinny little fucker I bet against choked down two slices.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:31 PM on November 6, 2010

Um ... it's poutine. I've personally never eaten it, (as it's clearly disgusting, and an affront against nature) but I hardly think that some frat boys picking the low-hanging fruit of the Interweb's juvenile obsession with sugar,bacon, and grease is suddenly stifling Francophone "culture" somehow.

Well, there's that whole thing where "pea soup" used to be a deragotary term for French Canadians.
posted by Monday, stony Monday at 9:35 PM on November 6, 2010

Sorry, Saturday Night Live did it five years ago ( I LOVE how the Hulu clip is sponsored by Wendy's. That's targeted advertising at it's stupidest!) And when you're recycling SNL shit from five years ago without really improving on it, you're pretty pathetic (although French-Toasting the baguette is something I may actually try). I wrote about it as a punchline in a list about weird fast food (starting with McRib and including Onion Petals, Mexican Pizza and Chicken Fries) but the last redesign of msnbc.com lost my content. The Wayback Machine rules!
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:36 PM on November 6, 2010 [1 favorite]

A wafer-thin mint, Monsieur? It is wafer-thin!
posted by contessa at 9:47 PM on November 6, 2010

Come one. This isn't any kind of contest. I want a Montreal bagel - St Viateur - not Fairmount Bagel - with a diameter large enough to fit two full grown men. Both baked inside, one francophone, one anglophone, at either end. They eat their way around the rim from the inside and, upon meeting, OH ITS ON, BAGEL THUNDERDOME. Whoever exits alive gets a 2-for-1 coupon for a Schwartz's smoked meat sandwich and a year's supply of atorvastatin and enough Fin du Monde to wash it down.
posted by Auden at 10:19 PM on November 6, 2010

from what I've noticed there's actually a lot of different sounds to the montreal accent, depending on what language the speaker used as a kid at home - I have friends who have a wonderfully heavy quebecois accent (which can agument an off colour joke like you wouldn't believe) and then there's my boyfriend, who grew up in montreal, but sounds just like me (a torontonian) except for on days that he's watched hockey, and some of his swearing.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:24 AM on November 7, 2010

The correct pronunciation is poo-tin

Because it tastes like shit in a can?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:21 AM on November 7, 2010

The bottle on the table (it's two-thirds empty) is Appleton Estate rum. So good and so cheap. Canada's old favorite, Lamb's Navy Rum, is fading.
posted by CCBC at 1:06 AM on November 7, 2010

Each morning I eat 2 eggs and 10 cubic centimetres of assorted Canadian back bacon, and I'm as fit as a lumberjack.
posted by i_have_a_computer at 1:38 AM on November 7, 2010

Ah, Quebec. Where the junk food is tailor made for absorbing the vast delicious quantities of good beer you ate drank blissfully while fumbling for your high-school French to show your appreciation.

(For the record, I am an American living in Quebec with Canadian husband.)

That being said, I really don't care for poutine, but I do love me frites avec sauce.
posted by Kitteh at 4:14 AM on November 7, 2010

Jonathan Goldstein did a Wiretap episode on Raspoutine (starts at about the 16 minute mark)... the fancy high-end Montreal poutine restaurant with cloth napkins a wine list (or was it all a dream...?)
posted by Mchelly at 4:44 AM on November 7, 2010

Whenever the topic of poutine crops up I am compelled to remind Canadians and American tourists that you can get this crap ALL OVER CANADA. And the best isn't in Quebec, because it's a plate of garbage that has no "best." It's the sort of thing I eat once a year, tops, and it's fries, canned or powdered gravy, and cheese curds. It's as challenging to make as cold cereal- there is no art to it and if I hear another Montrealer tell me "but you have to have it HERE" I am going to shove a Vachon cake down his throat.

All that said- as "gourmet" poutine goes, the lobster poutine with sauce americaine and mascarpone at Brava Bistro in Calgary is one of the most delicious things you'll ever wrap your face around.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 9:56 AM on November 7, 2010