Epic
November 10, 2010 9:54 AM   Subscribe

This site depicts REAL things said to me (or at least near me) by customers in the comic book shop that I work in. These are real people. This is what they look like and this is something that they actually said.
posted by fearfulsymmetry (108 comments total) 45 users marked this as a favorite
 
See also: The Customer Is Not Always Right.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 9:59 AM on November 10, 2010


God, these make my stomach hurt.

*Burns offering in thanks for the nice, professional manager and mostly tolerable patrons of LCS*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:02 AM on November 10, 2010


If you are waiting for the Hi and Lois signing, you are too late. It has been moved to the Springfield Colosseum.
posted by Ratio at 10:02 AM on November 10, 2010 [12 favorites]


This is....this is amazing.
posted by Kitteh at 10:02 AM on November 10, 2010


This is triggering my Post Video-Game Store Working Stress Disorder. I hope you're happy.
posted by The Whelk at 10:05 AM on November 10, 2010 [4 favorites]


dunno
posted by grobstein at 10:06 AM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


If I say "Fuck" will he draw me too, 'cuz that seems to be the trigger...
posted by HuronBob at 10:08 AM on November 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


Oh man, this brings back memories.... I was "the Saturday Guy" at my local comic shop for years in the late 90s - early 2000s. From an outside perspective I can see why some folks might think these comics are petty and mocking, but they merely scratch the surface of how annoying, awkward, smelly and socially retarded many comic fans are.

My people, I miss them sometimes.
posted by brand-gnu at 10:11 AM on November 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


If I say "Fuck" will he draw me too, 'cuz that seems to be the trigger...

A -> B =!> B -> A
posted by DU at 10:14 AM on November 10, 2010 [6 favorites]


Made me laugh out loud... am now staring similar for the corp meetings I have.
posted by flyfsh_peter at 10:16 AM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


best
posted by shakespeherian at 10:16 AM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


These are pretty EPIC!
posted by Windopaene at 10:18 AM on November 10, 2010


I've never worked in a comic shop but the few times I've been behind the counter I've be astonished by the number of self-appointed 'experts' there are out there who are always free with their advice (but never with their money).
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:18 AM on November 10, 2010


Girls in a comic book store, what madness is this?
posted by entropicamericana at 10:20 AM on November 10, 2010


Girls in a comic book store, what madness is this?

Maybe you haven't been in a comic book store?
posted by shakespeherian at 10:21 AM on November 10, 2010 [4 favorites]


Not in 20 years, anyway.
posted by entropicamericana at 10:22 AM on November 10, 2010


Yeah, generally comic book customers tend to have an inverse relation to time spent looking vs. money actually spent - serious shoppers are in and out in 10-15 minutes top, assuming they're not already on a subscription box.

The guy who spends 20 minutes reading 3-4 issues, looking around, doing that weird thing of hoping someone will start a conversation with them? Before saying something really awkward and weird, and then trying to eat up your time while other customers need help?

ugghghghgh.
posted by yeloson at 10:23 AM on November 10, 2010


This made me vaguely uncomfortable about my afternoon plans to visit my LCS and buy the two weeks' worth of books on my pull list.

Then I realized that I'm sexually active, financially secure, have many close friends of varied interests and insights, and I don't have to work at a comic book store, so I'll read all the Avengers comics I damn well please.

/defensive screed
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:24 AM on November 10, 2010 [16 favorites]


These are funny, but I'd be worried about my identity getting out and alienating my customers.
posted by codacorolla at 10:24 AM on November 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


Fuck Superman. I'm so tired of everyone kissing his ass.

Sometimes the customer really is right.
posted by ook at 10:28 AM on November 10, 2010 [9 favorites]


I have been waiting for over a decade for the Internet to produce this website.
posted by twirlip at 10:29 AM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


He is trying my sympathy.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:35 AM on November 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


These are great but i really do want to read the comic described by this gentleman.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:42 AM on November 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


This reminds me of why I stopped going to comic stores.
posted by Theta States at 10:48 AM on November 10, 2010


Someone of them seem a bit mean spirited, but I got to say, this is awesome.
posted by juv3nal at 10:49 AM on November 10, 2010 [9 favorites]


A thousand times yes to this site. It's not as funny as I'd like but, man people can be annoying. Thank you for making something entertaining out of it.
posted by josher71 at 10:50 AM on November 10, 2010


LOL: I'm friends with her ...
posted by ecco at 10:53 AM on November 10, 2010


Considering the amount of Boston sports team paraphernalia his characters all wear (and the constant references to "returning students") I have a feeling I know which shop this is.
posted by backseatpilot at 10:53 AM on November 10, 2010


I like this one: Yeah, I'm alot more mature now. Like I'm not into Star Wars any more and now I'm into Star Trek.
posted by XMLicious at 10:56 AM on November 10, 2010


entropicamericana - my friend Jennifer owns a comic book store, and her manager is my friend Amy. Not only do 'girls' shop there, they own it too! Madness! Or maybe just...women like comics too?
posted by sandraregina at 10:58 AM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Just so you all know, I'm the mayor of this site on FourSquare.
posted by hermitosis at 10:58 AM on November 10, 2010 [4 favorites]


Reminiscent of the legendary Acts of Gord.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:02 AM on November 10, 2010 [9 favorites]


This pretty much sums up the Lady Gaga threads.

Kind of reminds me of Evan Dorkin's manifesto of self-loathing, The Eltingville Comic-Book Science-Fiction Fantasy Horror and Role-Playing Club.
posted by benzenedream at 11:03 AM on November 10, 2010


backseatpilot: I'm guessing "That's Entertainment" in Worcester based on the backgrond of this image. I thought it might be a Boston area store at first, but Worcester has always had far more interesting characters than Boston has.
posted by inthe80s at 11:04 AM on November 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


Epic!
posted by Artw at 11:05 AM on November 10, 2010


Also see Acts of Gord
posted by Confess, Fletch at 11:05 AM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


These are great but i really do want to read the comic described by this gentleman.

Heh. I'm guessing it's The Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe, only he remembered it as Batman, and got all the other characters wrong except Wolverine.
posted by Artw at 11:07 AM on November 10, 2010




Hey, it's Wednesday! Comic book day! Those guys at the store love me, they hang on my every word...
posted by Artw at 11:08 AM on November 10, 2010


That's so illegal!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 11:15 AM on November 10, 2010


I'd like to see something analogous written by librarians. Start here for text examples. Do my bidding, MeFiBrarians! MU-HAWHAWhaw
posted by not_on_display at 11:23 AM on November 10, 2010


I'm guessing it's The Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe

That was my first thought, but it could also be that Justice League one where it's revealed Batman keeps detailed plans on how to take down the entire League should they ever turn evil or just really get on his nerves.
posted by permafrost at 11:26 AM on November 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


These are awesome, thanks.

And yes, I too was reminded of how very much I miss Acts of Gord. Gord's running some LAN gaming centers now that he's back from teaching English in South Korea, as I understand it. I bet he's got even more stories he could tell if he felt like it.
posted by Gator at 11:34 AM on November 10, 2010


It's not all negative jerks either. Some are just wacky geniuses like Jesse.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:51 AM on November 10, 2010


I'd like to see something analogous written by librarians.

Not a librarian, but I work in one. I'm slowly posting the contents of a folder I flashed from one of the (mostly) friendly crazy regular patrons on my blog. He carries a paper file around with him and passes out, er, screeds? so I told him he oughta just let me publish it all online and it'll get out to that many more people. He was excited about that, and I like adding the chaos into the Intertuberries. Something like 26mb of Word documents, dense text and long lists of the inner life of Mr. Big. Hooray! There's some interesting stuff from other notable patrons that'll come along too. And one particular patron's crazy I may have already incorporated into a horribly underappreciated FPP not too long ago.
posted by carsonb at 11:54 AM on November 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


Not a librarian, but I work in one

Isn't it dark in there?
posted by backseatpilot at 11:56 AM on November 10, 2010 [33 favorites]


The "That's so illegal" one is so hilarious it makes it worth it. I don't believe that he is faking these, but I can't believe that it's real.

I feel that way about a lot of them. Maybe I'm just hanging out at the wrong comic shops or I'm not in there long enough or I just know the wrong kind of comics-liking crowd, but while I believe places like this exist, they certainly don't exist in the various shops in Chicago I've been. I wonder if it's where I shop or if I am just missing something that's under my nose.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:58 AM on November 10, 2010


"I heard Sam Raimi made Spiderman 3 bad on purpose so they'd fire him cuz he wanted to direct The Dark Knight."

Not only am I hanging out on the wrong kind of comic shops, I'm also hanging out in the wrong part of the Internet.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:01 PM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


I was thinking of doing something like this for the library where I work, although usually it's the staff who are most likely to say completely off the wall things.
posted by LiliaNic at 12:02 PM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Misfiled. Not crazy.
posted by Cookiebastard at 12:04 PM on November 10, 2010


Maybe I'm just hanging out at the wrong comic shops or I'm not in there long enough or I just know the wrong kind of comics-liking crowd, but while I believe places like this exist, they certainly don't exist in the various shops in Chicago I've been.

Chicago Comics and Quimby's don't count. Try Brainstorm on North or Comix Revolution in Evanston if you want the full Oh-God-Who-Are-These-People comic store experience.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:05 PM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Did anyone other than the OP say epic yet? No?

Epic.
posted by zephyr_words at 12:11 PM on November 10, 2010


And I started siding with the customers against this jerk right about here.

I also enjoy his bold, all-caps claim of copyright on stuff other people said.
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:32 PM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Some of these are funny and I dig the style, but I find it weirdly distracting that nearly everyone has spittle flying out of their mouths. Unless, you know, that is actually a thing.
posted by Monster_Zero at 12:33 PM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


I know a guy online who works in a library and does much the same thing as this, illustraing the strangeness that comes up to his desk -- he, however, only posts them on facebook where they're only visible to his friends, because he, like, enjoys not being fired.
posted by AzraelBrown at 12:47 PM on November 10, 2010


Not a librarian, but I work in one
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx
posted by wenestvedt at 12:48 PM on November 10, 2010 [5 favorites]


I read every single one.
posted by davejay at 12:52 PM on November 10, 2010


he, however, only posts them on facebook where they're only visible to his friends, because he, like, enjoys not being fired.

Posting work-related stuff on Facebook is not a good way to not get fired.
posted by twirlip at 1:03 PM on November 10, 2010




There was one guy, tall, attractive, and very - off - who we were certain realized that Superman was fictional, and Metropolis was a made-up place, but when it came to Star Trek? All. Bets. Are. Off.

And the creepy guy who didn't shower, and kept obsessing over how much power was possessed by certain female characters, and how it could mean they have more if they defeated other characters.

Then there was the blind African-American who came in to buy comics that his wife would read to him in the evenings, describing the action in the panels - he dressed like Han Solo, with the boots and the vest and sometimes a poncho or cloak as weather demanded. He wouldn't hesitate to talk shop with whoever was in the store, the kind of person it seems you've known for years, even tho you just met him today. This guy was universally regarded as awesome, and we loved having him around.
posted by Slap*Happy at 1:31 PM on November 10, 2010 [16 favorites]


I frequent a local game-and-comic store enough that I sometimes get choice stories on different kinds of experiences, much of which has been documented on this site. I'm forwarding this to the guys; I'm sure they'll get a kick.

There's apparently a regular that shows up every Wednesday (new shipment arrival) before the store has opened, pounding on the doors to be let in 5-10 minutes early, demanding that he get his shopping on, because dammit, he's got things to do and places to be. When the doors finally do open, he wanders for an hour and leaves without buying anything.

Thankfully a majority of the customers are decent, honest, and generally cool people to know. A little less amusing than the horror stories we remember, but awesome nonetheless.
posted by CancerMan at 1:37 PM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm not really certain who I should be rooting for here, Comic Book Guy or his evil oppressors who, through their oppression, allow him to stay in business.

In all fairness, I've worked in retail, and I've dealt with people like this (working in a bookstore during the Bridges of Madison County outbreak was indeed a trying time), and customers can be pretty fucking awful. At least bookstore customers didn't spit quite so much.
posted by Ghidorah at 1:43 PM on November 10, 2010


So I'm back from the store.

I got a story in which Batman beats up everybody.
posted by Artw at 1:48 PM on November 10, 2010 [3 favorites]


Posting work-related stuff on Facebook is not a good way to not get fired.

Yeah, even if you're one of the 1% of FB users who knows how to use filters and you restrict your stuff to "friends only," you're still relying on those friends not to share the stuff on their own public-facing pages.
posted by Gator at 1:59 PM on November 10, 2010


. . . I thought it might be a Boston area store at first

So did I -- the Million Year Picnic. It used to be a huge treat for me to go when I was a teenager, and I'm very glad it's still around, but I tend not to browse because of, well, because of the smell, and because I feel increasingly alienated from everything around me but the Chris Ware, the Chris Onstad, and the classic reprints.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:00 PM on November 10, 2010


I read through a bunch of these and while I found them funny, I just felt more and more depressed as I went along. Yes, I know what bad comic books stores are like, and I'm sure that even good comic book stores have their fair share of these people, but it still makes me sad for humanity.

I am glad I know a bunch of really awesome people who like comic books. And some of them work/run comic book stores. At least I know not everyone is like this.

(I do hope -- or at least I'm going to pretend -- that the girlfriend of this guy immediately punched him in the face and then broke up with him.)
posted by darksong at 2:13 PM on November 10, 2010


Just looking over the local and college references as well as the tags, I've got a funny feeling it's the New England Comics in Brookline with a few coming in from the one in Quincy as well.

I'm still not sure why guessing the location is more entertaining than just reading the cartoons on their own, but it is.
posted by Spatch at 2:17 PM on November 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


This panel shows a student who attends AI New England (AKA New England Institute of Art). Maybe Comicopia?
posted by catlet at 2:20 PM on November 10, 2010


catlet, I was thinking Comicopia as well
posted by Riptor at 2:41 PM on November 10, 2010


Then there was the blind African-American ... he dressed like Han Solo

His hobby: Making people wonder why he's not dressed like Geordi La Forge, and listening to their heads explode.
posted by Faint of Butt at 2:51 PM on November 10, 2010 [2 favorites]


I am also thinking the Brookline NEC more than the Million Year Picnic. The weirdos who shop at MYP (self included) are more beanplaty than these weirdos.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:13 PM on November 10, 2010


Or the Allston NEC. Actually, probably the Allston NEC now that I think about it.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:14 PM on November 10, 2010




I'm impressed with his wife...

Based on my extensive research as to what is fun to read out and what is not comics are kind of a drag, with only to done-for-the-money Disney tie-in books being worse (this research, admittedly, done with a sighted 4 year old, so of questionable applicability).
posted by Artw at 3:17 PM on November 10, 2010


This is delightful, and frequently reminiscent of the Marian Call house concert I attended Monday night.
posted by kavasa at 3:22 PM on November 10, 2010


this made the rounds on my Facebook friends list and we're fairly convinced that it's likely multiple NEC stores with a focus on the Quincy NEC. The plethora of Quincy tags in some of the posts kind of seals it
posted by bl1nk at 3:40 PM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh God, these are my people.

I grew up in a small suburban shithole in southern Maryland and there was only one comic book store, which was run by a guy named Rob who was basically a huge marvel comics fan that decided to start selling back issues, and his partner Roger, who was a hardcore RPG fan/gun nut. Next to it was a LAN 'arcade' run by Roger's friend Alex who was even fucking crazier than Roger -- he actually organized a militia. This was in the late 90s, and I wasn't much into comics, but I was huge into Magic: the Gathering, and the comic book was pretty much the only place to go to play serious magic with people, so I was at that place like it was my second job.

So basically you had a perfect storm of nerdery -- Magic and Pokemon games constantly, D&D sessions in the backroom on weekends, Warcraft II Lan parties, etc, etc. I think something at least as bad as one of these drawings was said at least every hour there, including by the guys that owned the stores.

But I got to know these people really well in the 3-4 years I was a regular, and man the reasons that people have to escape into comic books can be heartbreaking. Rob's dad was a trucker who abandoned the family, and they all lived off of food stamps -- and even though at one point, he was living in the store and living off of ramen noodles, he was the success in the family and they came around asking for money all the time, and he always gave it to them. At night, when he was living in the back of the store, he'd climb up to the roof of the shopping center and run across it, pretending to be Spiderman.

Michelle, who was around 20 and loved anime and manga and hung around in a schoolgirl miniskirt and flirted with the safe nerdy boys, had been molested when she was younger and then raped when she was in high school.

Big Mike of the 300+ pound frame and the neckbeard and unkempt hair and Very Strong Opinions about who would win in a fight between The Hulk and Superman was living with his mom, who was a hoarder and an ebay addict, and paying the bills for them both off his McDonald's salary.

Phil, the Dungeon Master with scoliosis, an outsized vocabulary and an ego the size of Mount Everest was an auto-didact who grew up on the mean streets of Philadelphia dropped out of high school, sold drugs, and had stories about beatings from his Dad that would make your hair stand on end, and the scars and broken bones to prove it.

Jesse, with the purple hair and the tongue ring, played pokemon with kids 10 years younger than her and hung around the internet cafe, just playing Myst and flirting with boys, was a bulimic who lived in a trailer full of animals with her mom, and obsessed about Rocky Horror Picture show.

It bugs me a lot when people just point and laugh at nerds. They're human beings with human problems. They're relating to their peers, the only way they know how, through competition, through trivia, through carefully negotiated geek protocols and shibboleths that keep protective layers between them and other people, because in a lot of cases, they've been hurt, a lot and more than anything else, they don't want that to happen again.

I stopped going there when I started going to raves, because I was ready for some positive energy in my life, but man do I understand these people, and it really bugs me when people make them objects of ridicule.
posted by empath at 3:47 PM on November 10, 2010 [101 favorites]


Of course, give it a few years and it will all be gone the way of record stores...
posted by Artw at 3:49 PM on November 10, 2010


After reading all of those panels, with all of the smokers and people looking to score or nod off, my only conclusion is that the guy's shop must be in a really skeezy part of town.

(For some reason, I'm thinking of New England in the early '80s, specifically the east end of Providence, before gentrification.)
posted by vhsiv at 3:58 PM on November 10, 2010


Regarding empath's post: I think that's pretty much just eponymous, huh?

I mean, I totally get you, and it bothers me too. But I don't think that's what the guy's doing, in a couple different ways. I know it may seem like it, but a lot of the time the fucked up shit nerdy people say is just not ok. I know there may be some past there for these folks, but I've personally had some pretty insulting shit said to me. Luckily, I've usually had the presence of mind to calmly say:

"Woah there. That was inappropriate and really insulting. I'd like to keep hanging out - there aren't many places to actually play settlers of cataan - but if you're going to be like that I'm leaving."

Sometimes there are apologies, sometimes I've left.

We're also perhaps reading more into this being from a comic shop than is truly warranted. My BF has been working as a barista for a while now, and (as any customer service employee does), he's got a pretty great storehouse of rude asshole stories.

The point is: a lot of these are legitimately funny, for a variety of reasons.
posted by kavasa at 4:02 PM on November 10, 2010


In all fairness, I've worked in retail, and I've dealt with people like this (working in a bookstore during the Bridges of Madison County outbreak was indeed a trying time),

My brother! Those were dark days indeed.

Also, this site was hilarious and I believe every one. My theory is that shopping puts people in a sort of retail trance, their forebrains shut off, and what comes out of their mouths often seems like it's straight from the id.
posted by emjaybee at 4:14 PM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


"I stopped going there when I started going to raves, because I was ready for some positive energy in my life, but man do I understand these people, and it really bugs me when people make them objects of ridicule."

Yeah, but when I mock them mercilessly, it's because I'm making fun of myself for being there right along with them.
posted by klangklangston at 4:33 PM on November 10, 2010


I find it weirdly distracting that nearly everyone has spittle flying out of their mouths.

Feature, not a bug. Clearly most of them are fairly loose talkers...
posted by limeonaire at 4:36 PM on November 10, 2010


Regarding empath's post: I think that's pretty much just eponymous, huh?

IIRC, empath stands for Empathogen, which is part of chapter 2 in the Empath Life Story(tm)
End derail.
posted by hellojed at 5:07 PM on November 10, 2010


I stopped going there when I started going to raves, because I was ready for some positive energy in my life, but man do I understand these people, and it really bugs me when people make them objects of ridicule.

That's beautiful man, and I feel you, but sometimes you have to blow off steam when you work retail. People say and do all sorts of crazy ass things to you, and it really weirds you out.

Assume he's polite to their face, and we're having a good anonymous laugh at the odd corners the human race takes up, and join in.
posted by lumpenprole at 5:13 PM on November 10, 2010


Eponyheartwarming
posted by hap_hazard at 5:14 PM on November 10, 2010


man do I understand these people, and it really bugs me when people make them objects of ridicule.

Yeah, having read most of the posts now, I'm a little disappointed. When I go into comic shops, I hear conversations that consist of either hardcore comic-book nerdery or some other equally obscure and dubious trivia, usually delivered unself-consciously and with a slight undertone of one-upmanship ("carpet beetles are the only way to get flesh off a corpse"). The stores are basically friendly spaces to exhibit some of the weirder and more fascinating kipple that clutters up the nerd psyche. It's great, if you're into that sort of thing. But this guy is mostly skipping the awesome to focus on the clueless and/or skeezy; it's a valid perspective, I guess, but it's kinda too bad that that's where the emphasis is.
posted by twirlip at 5:19 PM on November 10, 2010 [2 favorites]




Yes, everything should be completely boring, for balance.
posted by Artw at 5:55 PM on November 10, 2010


As both a retail refugee and a comic/sci-fi fan, I think I'm on both sides of the fence. Retail is hell. The more specialized it gets, the more hellish it becomes. You've got people collecting, which is already fraught with all kinds of issues, you've got hardcore fans, and every once in a while, someone who comes from outside and asks a question that you're stunned (since almost everyone else you're in contact with at your job would know the answer already) by how simple it is. Sometimes, you've got people reading comics that they've been reading for years, and some of them are upset because the thing that used to give them so much joy has steadily turned to crap (I'm looking at you, X-Men), and they're bitter, and they want to say something. Maybe they can't talk to people in their life (my wife's face goes blank if I start any kind of conversation about sports, games, or cooking), or they don't have anyone to talk to, so they talk to the clerk since, hey, he works here, most likely he's interested.

On the other side of it, going to Sci-fi conventions as a teen was almost literally a lifesaver for me. Before I went to my first, I dismissed it as 'nerds having sex' and honestly, I wasn't far off. There were nerds having sex. There were also some really cool people having sex, too. And we all had common interests. Being weird, or different, or fat, or skinny, it didn't really matter there. And there were people who would listen when you talked about a movie or book you'd read. Maybe they'd already seen/read it, or wanted to know more, or even had a suggestion for something else you'd like. The family that is fandom is wide and supportive, though easy to mock.

But sometimes, an asshole complaining about a comic book is just an asshole.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:45 PM on November 10, 2010


"carpet beetles are the only way to get flesh off a corpse"

I think that's just the larvae.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 6:47 PM on November 10, 2010


I have to say, I think a lot of these were intended to be funny at the time they were spoken, either as sarcasm or extreme hyperbole.
posted by Mitrovarr at 7:34 PM on November 10, 2010 [1 favorite]


Or maybe just...women like comics too?

Pft. Next you'll be telling me that nice Mr Fry is wrong and they like sex, too.
posted by rodgerd at 11:40 PM on November 10, 2010


It's funny how all of them sound like Henchman #21 in my head.
posted by Pronoiac at 11:57 PM on November 10, 2010 [4 favorites]


Greg Nog: I got a story in which Batman beats up everybody.

GOD. That's not even REALISTIC. Batman can't beat up EVERYBODY, look up the tensile strength of human knuckles, they would eventually just collapse. Fucking GRANT MORRISON and his UNREALISTIC FANTASY WORLD.


What the FUCK? He wouldn't use his FISTS, Greg! If he had to beat up EVERYBODY, you know what he does? He says "whelp, I guess it's time for plan 666" & then he sets off some BOMBS that he put into place as a contingency plan or activates people who turn into robots or stuff like that.

Batman ALWAYS wins, dude.
posted by Pronoiac at 12:16 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Sorry, dude, but you're wrong on this one. A Go Fuck Yourself t-shirt and inquiries about the Sandman and a girl in a comic book shop? What in the hell are you complaining about? Keep your bitching for bad things. I got no sympathy for your Someone tried to hand me the keys to their Ferrari yesterday-type bitching.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:04 AM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


My local comic store uses Twitter to blow off this sort of steam. The cast of recurring characters makes it a must-read.
posted by yerfatma at 6:36 AM on November 11, 2010


Thanks for that yerfatma, I'd call that a must-follow.
posted by Gator at 7:22 AM on November 11, 2010


Ha ha ha I can't believe all of these losers waste all their time in virtual spaces obsessing over imaginary characters!

Did anyone catch the new Conan?
posted by mecran01 at 8:11 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


Some of these are funny. But, y'know, about 95% of all excerpts of other people's conversations anywhere sound really stupid. And that goes for mine and yours, too.
posted by Zed at 10:56 AM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


These are full of total and epic utter win.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:13 PM on November 11, 2010


Ha ha ha I can't believe all of these losers waste all their time in virtual spaces obsessing over imaginary characters!

For a moment I thought you were talking about MetaFilter.
posted by WalterMitty at 5:28 PM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: all of these losers waste all their time in virtual spaces obsessing over imaginary characters!

ftfy
posted by Pronoiac at 6:51 PM on November 11, 2010


Oh, god. I need to go look at pictures of kittens or something for a minute.
posted by Sara C. at 7:53 PM on November 11, 2010


On a different note, I looked at the website, and had a flashback to Jeffrey Zeldman's site circa 1997.

His was better, don't get me wrong, but the fonts and feel just connected in my noggin.

Er....I'll get my coat....
posted by Thistledown at 8:22 PM on November 11, 2010


His hobby: Making people wonder why he's not dressed like Geordi La Forge, and listening to their heads explode.

He hated Geordie - too milquestoast and not techie enough - he was much more into Scotty, and preferred Star Wars. Another awesome thing - he had a pocket computer with a six-key chording keyboard and a brail display, and it could do speech synthesis. He had it programmed to say "Aquiring targets! Use lethal force?" if he hit a button. He also had a custom cane with a big, red anodized aluminum hook at the top he called his Murdoch Special. It was blunt, more for pulling objects closer, pulling tree-branches aside, etc. Looked really cool, tho.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:00 PM on November 12, 2010


Did he have Jefferson Twilight style white streaks in his hair? Because that is the only way he could be more awesome.
posted by Artw at 4:14 PM on November 12, 2010


No, but another data point - he never wore dark glasses in the store... it was something you got used to right away. When we met on the street a few times, he would be wearing them - I got the impression that it was more to make other people comfortable, and when he was in the shop, he felt he didn't need to, because he was one of us, ya know?
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:50 PM on November 12, 2010


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