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How to wrap a cat
November 11, 2010 7:23 AM   Subscribe

Thinking of giving that special someone a cat for Christmas? Well, you need to know how to properly wrap it for placement under the yule tree. Thankfully, there's a handy instructional video for that.
posted by NoMich (39 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite

 
Grisly death of the human in 5...4...3...
posted by Gator at 7:28 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


A lot less blood and tears than I expected.
posted by ghharr at 7:28 AM on November 11, 2010 [1 favorite]


That is a very patient cat who will be exacting his revenge very shortly.
posted by The Whelk at 7:30 AM on November 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


Some cats really like being turned into festive burritos (the non-edible type).
posted by maudlin at 7:31 AM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


.

So goes any dignity this cat once might have had.
posted by Fizz at 7:33 AM on November 11, 2010


That is one seriously laid-back cat.
posted by thomas j wise at 7:41 AM on November 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


Oh, man. Now that I've clicked around a bit, I can see that Flippy was a pretty mellow, tolerant cat. He may have gotten his revenge in other ways, though.

Sadly, he was an old kitty with health problems and was put to sleep this past July.
posted by maudlin at 7:41 AM on November 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


I just poked around too and found out that the poor kitty has passed away. At least it seems like he had a long and good life. There really does need to be a warning about cute kitty videos that are going to eventually make me sad though!
posted by cirhosis at 7:45 AM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


Errr, I'm at work and have no sound but... did that cat just pee in the sink?
posted by maryr at 7:46 AM on November 11, 2010


Better in the sink than on your sweater...
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:50 AM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


My cat would never tolerate this. I would be wrapping my arms in gauze and tape.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:51 AM on November 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


Best part: when the wrapped tail wags.
posted by dabitch at 8:29 AM on November 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


i loved the 'save the paper' balloon when he unwrapped the cat. i heard it in my mother's voice.
posted by msconduct at 8:46 AM on November 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


That cat DOES. NOT. HAVE. A. SINGLE. FUCK. TO. GIVE.
posted by spiderskull at 9:17 AM on November 11, 2010 [25 favorites]


I heard my mom's voice too! LOL.
posted by HeyAllie at 9:18 AM on November 11, 2010


Do that with an oversized tortilla and I'm sold.
posted by sourwookie at 9:19 AM on November 11, 2010


I need to know more! Once you have wrapped the cat, what is the best way to package it for mailing it across the country?
posted by cmyk at 10:02 AM on November 11, 2010 [2 favorites]


Heh. I almost posted this yesterday. Very cute.
posted by Lutoslawski at 10:05 AM on November 11, 2010


Would be fun to someone wrap a dog. I have a dog
posted by jossan111 at 10:17 AM on November 11, 2010


How come Flippy speaks English and not LolCat?
posted by Nelson at 10:30 AM on November 11, 2010


It's all fun and games until kitty unwraps himself and pisses in your favorite pair of shoes.

Gift wrapping is crazy making time at my four-cat house, every gift I give comes with an apology:

Um, sorry about the cat fur embedded in the scotch tape.
Um, sorry about the bite marks on the corners.
Um, I swear this box used to be a rectangle.
Um, there used to be a bow.
posted by jamaro at 10:38 AM on November 11, 2010 [6 favorites]


That was so cute I thought my head was gonna explode.
posted by kthanksbai at 10:39 AM on November 11, 2010


Cute video. But all I could think of was that scene from National Lampoon's Christmas movie where the aunt/grandma comes over with the cat wrapped up in a box. Anyone with better google-fu that me able to find a clip of that? It's hilarious.
posted by friendlyjuan at 11:16 AM on November 11, 2010


.

Sweet Flippy.
posted by yellowcandy at 11:27 AM on November 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


Here's that scene from Christmas Vacation, friendlyjuan. My name, like the batty old aunt, is Bethany. I've warned my nieces and nephews that I will be just like that someday, complete with an asshole husband probably.
posted by orange swan at 11:53 AM on November 11, 2010


Thank you orange swan. That scene always gets me a-chucklin'.
posted by friendlyjuan at 12:11 PM on November 11, 2010


Aunt Bethany, you shouldn't have done that!
posted by dr_dank at 12:23 PM on November 11, 2010


I wrapped my dog. And it wansn't even Christmas. Let's go back to 1978, shall we?

Ingredients: One small mutt and one plastic tube-like newspaper bag

Step 1: Capture dog.

Step 2: Line plastic bag against dog's body.

Step 3: Poke holes approximately but not quite where dog's four legs are located. Extra points if the holes are located too close together to allow dog to walk properly.

Step 4: Insert dog into plastic bag, pulling legs out where the holes are located.

Step 5: Watch dog walk drunkenly and miserably down hallway, searching for an adult to take him out of misery.

Step 6: From another room, mother screams, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY POOR BABY!"

Step 7: Kids shrieking with laughter and running to secret hiding spot where mother cannot find them

Don't feel sorry for the dog. He was already named Booby, so his life was miserable as it was anyway. RIP, Booby, we loved you.
posted by HeyAllie at 12:29 PM on November 11, 2010


Wrap a cat in paper and you'll have a cute YouTube video.

Put a festive paper bag on the floor and the cat will remind you that you dislodge him from his fortress of solitude at your peril.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 1:11 PM on November 11, 2010 [3 favorites]


Or you'll find yourself a major Internet celebrity.
posted by Gator at 1:15 PM on November 11, 2010


Heh. Boobs.

My best friend in college had a dog named Boobs.

Boobs was perennially disgusting mud-dog; the kind you always find happily wallowing in any body of water she could find, with bits of banana peel or straw in her fur. (They had to shave her all the time.)

When best friend finally got married, she chose to have it in her parents’ gorgeous rural backyard. They set up the tents and the seats, and put the pastor's podium on the shore of their sprawling private lake.

At dusk, all guests were all seated, with violins playing softly. Best friend successfully completed the bridal march to meet her intended, back-dropped with the sunset splayed over the surface of the lake.

But there —right there— was Boobs. Directly behind the couple and officiator, there she was, slopping around in the lake with a large, formerly white bow tied around her neck.

Being the Maid of Honor, I couldn’t help but notice, but what does one do? Nothing. Just nothing. Let it go. Smile. Unfortunately, the Mother of the Bride, had a different opinion and started to frantically whisper in an eventual crescendo:

Boobs.

Boobs.

Boobs!

Boobs!!!

BOOOOOOBS!

BOOOOOOOOOOBS!

Through the entire ceremony, the mother called for Boobs. Sure dang enough— after the affair was nearly over, Boobs darted out of the lake toward the ceremony and planted her large, muddy self directly in her owner’s lap.

The video is great.
posted by functionequalsform at 1:20 PM on November 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


To get my cat all wrapped up like this all i would need to do would be to toss a grocery bag on the floor

then maybe throw some glitter at it once he's gotten himself inextricably tangled up
posted by tehloki at 1:54 PM on November 11, 2010


One of my old roommates speculated that cats actually celebrate their own holiday in December: "Ribbon." If they're good kitties, they get lots of nice, shiny ribbon to play with - and if they're bad kitties, they get tape stuck to the bottom of their paws.

...I miss my Zach.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:37 PM on November 11, 2010 [4 favorites]


You could totally do this to my cat.

She was sleeping on a pair of pants on my dining room table (note to husband: NOT WHERE PANTS BELONG) and we wanted to eat dinner at said table like civilized humans (I know, what?!) - so we wrapped her up in the pants and shoved her in the bookcase.

An hour ago.

She's still there.
posted by sonika at 4:52 PM on November 11, 2010 [9 favorites]


To me, it seems the point where the cat gets annoyed is when someone has the audacity to unwrap him.
posted by meese at 6:51 PM on November 11, 2010


I totally want that kitty for christmas.
posted by you're a kitty! at 8:16 PM on November 11, 2010


Where's the bow? I want a bow.
posted by spinifex23 at 8:33 PM on November 11, 2010


"Where's the bow?"

Saw this just last year and laughed so hard I nearly cried.
Never had a cat personally, so I was surprised at how mellow that cat was. I really wanted some of whatever the heck it was having.

To this day, just thinking about that cat makes me grin. Thanks for the reminder!
posted by palabradot at 8:22 AM on November 12, 2010


I love the bit after the bow. The cat is just sitting there like BEHOLD, I AM MAGNIFICENT.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:19 PM on November 12, 2010


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