Why You Shouldn't Become an Archivist

November 19, 2010 10:17 AM

Why You Shouldn't Become an Archivist.
posted by marxchivist (27 comments total)

We're going to do these for every profession now, aren't we?
posted by desjardins at 10:18 AM on November 19, 2010 [10 favorites]

I don't know, but this is my profession and that makes this one interesting!
posted by marxchivist at 10:29 AM on November 19, 2010 [3 favorites]

Every subspecialty, even.
posted by Miko at 10:29 AM on November 19, 2010

THING I FIND IRRITATING as told by Text-to-Movie animations.

Animal #1: I WANT A THING

Animal #2: THE THING YOU WANT IS STUPID

Animal #1: BUT I WANT IT

Animal #2: I AM AN EXPERT ABOUT THAT THING AND I'M NOW GOING TO TALK DOWN TO YOU BY SPEWING A BUNCH OF EXPERTBABBLE

Animal #1: I STILL WANT THE THING I WANT

Animal #2: MORE EXPERTBABBLE

Animal #1: I HAVE RIDICULOUS EXPECTATIONS ABOUT THE THING I WANT AND I WANT IT

Animal #2: HEAVILY EXAGGERATED EXPERTBABBLE AND YOU ARE STUPID.

Animal #1: OH.

Animal #2: THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT

Animal #1: I WANT THAT THING

Animal #2: A WHOLE LOT OF SWEARING
posted by katillathehun at 10:31 AM on November 19, 2010 [28 favorites]

Apart from the remarks directly related to archives and special collections, these days this could really be an admonition against trying to go into any field other than burger flipper at McDonalds. You may well end up sleeping in your car or living in your parents' basement even if you get a JD.
posted by blucevalo at 10:33 AM on November 19, 2010 [2 favorites]

I am going to do one titled "Why You Shouldn't Get Out of Bed"
posted by desjardins at 10:35 AM on November 19, 2010 [13 favorites]

I'm going to make one of these about my profession, and the rabbit is going to be all "I am going to be a blah blah blah" and then the other woodchuck or whatever says "Hey cool, I am one of those. Not a bad gig." And then it'll be four minutes of these animals staring at each other before the woodchuck concludes: "Well let me know if you need a recommendation or a ride to your interview or something."
posted by gordie at 10:38 AM on November 19, 2010 [10 favorites]

Thank God my check for Archivist college didn't clear yet. That was close. I'll go to plan B and take some typewriter repair classes.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 10:38 AM on November 19, 2010

We're going to do these for every profession now, aren't we?
Just the ones that people imagine they like before thinking about what actually goes on or what the job market is like. I could make one "Why you should be a statistician," but I'm not going to because I don't need more competition.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 10:44 AM on November 19, 2010 [2 favorites]

katillathehun: Needs more mouse bites.
posted by The Bellman at 10:45 AM on November 19, 2010

Why You Shouldn't Become a Private Contractor For The Empire ca. The Battle of Endor.

(The Galactic Senate made serious cuts to subsidized healthcare for consultants and freelancers.)
posted by griphus at 10:45 AM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

I can't help but think how this video could have saved Sid Vicious's life.
posted by PlusDistance at 10:46 AM on November 19, 2010 [5 favorites]

I want to be a black bloc archivist!
posted by chavenet at 10:48 AM on November 19, 2010

CON-tract position to con-TRACT position...
posted by Mister_A at 10:56 AM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

GUYS DID YOU KNOW IF YOU HAVE AN ASPIRATION YOU MIGHT NOT ACHIEVE IT? AND IF YOU DO, IT WON'T BE MAGICALLY PERFECT?

I can't wait for text-to-speech technology to be supplanted by text-to-Screech technology.
posted by Eideteker at 11:02 AM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

I knew what it was before I clicked! I am PSYCHIC.

(goes off to make "Why you shouldn't become a psychic text to speech movie)
posted by hellojed at 11:05 AM on November 19, 2010

mehh, talking Hello Kitties are not that interesting.
posted by flyfsh_peter at 11:06 AM on November 19, 2010

I kept expecting it to segue into a Progressive commercial.
posted by sbutler at 11:09 AM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

SLXPs are a streeeeeeeeeetch.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:09 AM on November 19, 2010

I hate to be a threadshitter, but virtually NO text put into one of these things could come out well for me. People keep showing them to me and I want to be all supportive and nice to them but it's just...awful. This kind of crappy text to speech strips all emotion out of the text and just turns it into nothing.
posted by haveanicesummer at 11:16 AM on November 19, 2010

"The stuff of history is contaminated with mold."
posted by brennen at 11:21 AM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

I wish I were a statistician.

But I'm not very good at statistics. (Specifically probability. Descriptive statistics was enjoyable, probability broke my brain).
posted by jb at 11:22 AM on November 19, 2010

I want to be a black bloc archivist!

Sorry, this post is by marxchivist. You want to talk to this guy.
posted by twirlip at 11:24 AM on November 19, 2010

This reminds me about how some people can't resist shooting down nascent dreams and give the excuse "Well if your little dream can't survive the reality of cold blasts of truth it must not have been a very good dream in the first place." Dreams are like little baby kangaroos. When they're born there helpless and need a little more time in mama's pouch being fed and sheltered to get big and strong before they can survive the harsh realities of nature.
posted by amethysts at 11:26 AM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

Undergraduate in librarianship and computer science. Moving onto post-grad work in archiving and data processing. Cartoon...saps....life-force.....
posted by malusmoriendumest at 11:27 AM on November 19, 2010

I see all these people around longing for exotic white-collar careers who could be damn good welders if only there were welding jobs.
posted by ardgedee at 11:33 AM on November 19, 2010

Why you shouldn't become a text-to-speech, talking kitty...
posted by hwestiii at 11:34 AM on November 19, 2010 [1 favorite]