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Mojito Blue
November 23, 2010 8:27 PM   Subscribe

Ever wonder how you could could do everything wrong all at once? Wonder no more gentle reader I present you with the "Easy Mint Julep"
posted by nola (84 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
What the hell sort of accent does she have? I've never heard anything like it before.
posted by clorox at 8:32 PM on November 23, 2010


I love how the sprigs of mint look totally wilted and demoralized.
posted by melissam at 8:33 PM on November 23, 2010 [19 favorites]


I just brush my teeth then rinse with bourbon. If I spit into a glass it's like two for one!
posted by obiwanwasabi at 8:34 PM on November 23, 2010 [5 favorites]


I actually have no idea what a mint julep consists of, but I intuitively know it's not that.
posted by inedible at 8:34 PM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]


That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen.

Accent-wise, she sounds like a Swedish person who learned English in Australia.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:35 PM on November 23, 2010 [10 favorites]


Basically my observer's commentary track went:

"...add some Havana Mojito..."

"WHUH?"

"...and there's your mint julep!:

"Ain't that some shit."
posted by padraigin at 8:37 PM on November 23, 2010 [4 favorites]


I think she has a great career ahead of her. "Easy Tarte Tatin"--why not use Pillsbury crescent rolls and applesauce from a jar? "Easy Cheese Souffle"--just pour some Velveeta over some Cheetos, and voila! "Easy Salmon Coulibiac"--why not try canned salmon in a hamburger bun?

She makes that weird Sandra Lee lady look like Escoffier.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:37 PM on November 23, 2010 [13 favorites]


Eh, I'm sure it tastes OK. "Chinese Food" isn't Chinese Food, but it still tastes decent.
posted by codacorolla at 8:37 PM on November 23, 2010


Eh, I'm sure it tastes OK.

Really? Because mojito mix plus bourbon doesn't sound like it would taste OK to me at all. Mojito has lime in it as well as mint--lime plus bourbon sounds nauseating. There is no lime in a mint julep for that very reason.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:43 PM on November 23, 2010


I'm horrifed to say that she sounds mostly Australian but I've never heard of her. Thankfully.

I'd like to apologise on behalf of all Australians. (And that comes from a chick who once read that the best way to make a mint julep is to crush a bunch of fresh mint in a mortar and pestle, add heaps of bourbon and ice, drink. Feel free to correct me.)

What is Havan Mojito, anyway?
posted by malibustacey9999 at 8:43 PM on November 23, 2010


Or even HavanA Mojito?
posted by malibustacey9999 at 8:43 PM on November 23, 2010


No, really. What's up, Marco.
posted by gordie at 8:45 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


Havana Mojito is a pre-mixed mojito mixer to which one just adds rum. Not, you know, bourbon. Because bourbon is not good with lime.

malibustacey9999, don't forget the sugar. You need at least a little sugar for a good julep.
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:46 PM on November 23, 2010


I don't get it. Are there outtakes that I missed where things go horribly wrong?
posted by Eideteker at 8:48 PM on November 23, 2010


No it's all there inside the clown helmet, live and in color.
posted by nola at 8:50 PM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]


Pshaw, that takes three steps. Just hit yourself in the head with a ball-peen hammer. It'll feel the same the next day, I promise. It's not like you can get any dumber.
posted by axiom at 8:50 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


I thought, because he pours the mojito mix in one glass and the bourbon in the other, that she was gonna do a spit take when she slammed a glass of straight bourbon...that would have been epic....
posted by OHenryPacey at 8:53 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


The terrifying thing is that there are people who will willingly believe this, head out of their way to find some obscure brand of pre-mixed cocktail juice (when they could have bought mint and sugar quite easily), and then taste it and decide that a mint julep is a horrible drink.
posted by twirlypen at 8:54 PM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]


I found this a couple years ago in a cooking magazine.


My Dear General Connor:

Your letter requesting my formula for mixing mint juleps leaves me in the same position in which Captain Barber found himself when asked how he was able to carve the image of an elephant from a block of wood. He said that it was a simple process consisting merely of whittling off the part that didn't look like an elephant.
The preparation of the quintessence of gentlemanly beverages can be described only in like terms. A mint julep is not a product of a formula. It is a ceremony and must be performed by a gentleman possessing a true sense of the artistic, a deep reverence for the ingredients and a proper appreciation of the occasion. It is a rite that must not be entrusted to a novice, a statistician nor a Yankee. It is a heritage of the Old South, and emblem of hospitality, and a vehicle in which noble minds can travel together upon the flower-strewn paths of a happy and congenial thought.
So far as the mere mechanics of the operation are concerned, the procedure, stripped of its ceremonial embellishments, can be described as follows:
Go to a spring where cool, crystal-clear water bubbles from under a bank of dew-washed ferns. In a consecrated vessel, dip up a little water at the source. Follow the stream thru its banks of green moss and wild flowers until it broadens and trickles thru beds of mint growing in aromatic profusion and waving softly in the summer breeze. Gather the sweetest and tenderest shoots and gently carry them home. Go to the sideboard and select a decanter of Kentucky Bourbon distilled by a master hand, mellowed with age, yet still vigorous and inspiring. An ancestral sugar bowl, a row of silver goblets, some spoons and some ice and you are ready to start.
Into a canvas bag pound twice as much ice as you think you will need. Make it fine as snow, keep it dry and do not allow it to degenerate into slush. Into each goblet, put a slightly heaping teaspoonful of granulated sugar, barely cover this with spring water and slightly bruise one mint leaf into this, leaving the spoon in the goblet. Then pour elixir from the decanter until the goblets are about one-fourth full. Fill the goblets with snowy ice, sprinkling in a small amount of sugar as you fill. Wipe the outside of the goblets dry, and embellish copiously with mint.
Then comes the delicate and important operation of frosting. By proper manipulation of the spoon, the ingredients are circulated and blended until nature, wishing to take a further hand and add another of its beautiful phenomena, encrusts the whole in a glistening coat of white frost.
Thus harmoniously blended by the deft touches of a skilled hand, you have a beverage eminently appropriate for honorable men and beautiful women.
When all is ready, assemble your guests on the porch or in the garden where the aroma of the juleps will rise heavenward and make the birds sing. Propose a worthy toast, raise the goblets to your lips, bury your nose in the mint, inhale a deep breath of its fragrance and sip the nectar of the gods.
Being overcome with thirst, I can write no further.

Sincerely,
Lt. Gen. S.B. Buckner, Jr.
VMI Class of 1906


Source
posted by I love you more when I eat paint chips at 8:55 PM on November 23, 2010 [119 favorites]


bears repeating:

Cud'n Walker's Uncle Will's Favorite Mint Julep Receipt

You need excellent bourbon whiskey; rye or Scotch will not do. Put half an inch of sugar in the bottom of the glass and merely dampen it with water. Next, very quickly—and here is the trick in the procedure—crush your ice, actually powder it—preferably in a towel with a wooden mallet, so quickly that it remains dry, and, slipping two sprigs of fresh mint against the inside of the glass, cram the ice in right to the brim, packing it with your hand. Finally, fill the glass, which apparently has no room left for anything else, with bourbon, the older the better, and grate a bit of nutmeg on the top. The glass will frost immediately. Then settle back in your chair for half an hour of cumulative bliss.

by Walker Percey, via MeFi

easy and correct!
posted by Rube R. Nekker at 9:00 PM on November 23, 2010 [26 favorites]


or, what paint chips said, minus the poetic embellishment!
posted by Rube R. Nekker at 9:03 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Goddamnit, she's ruining the one thing I actually like about Southern culture!
posted by schmod at 9:05 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Meh, this will obviously not fool some of us. Craft Mac and Cheese is its own awful pleasure that tastes nothing like real homemade Mac and Cheese.

Let the shit be enjoyed by people who like shit.
For the rest of us there is the real thing.
posted by munchingzombie at 9:12 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


I don't get it. Are there outtakes that I missed where things go horribly wrong?

Imagine, I dunno, a video showing you how you should cook steak. "The secret is to buy a McRib sandwich from McDonald's. Throw away the buns, and voila!"

That's about the same level of wrongness as this video.
posted by kmz at 9:14 PM on November 23, 2010 [12 favorites]


lime plus bourbon sounds nauseating.

Actually, the juice of half a lime, a generous quantity of aromatic bitters and 2oz of bourbon, topped up with tonic water, makes for a surprisingly decent drink. (Basically this is a Southampton + bourbon.)
posted by kenko at 9:28 PM on November 23, 2010


To be fair, Havana Mojito is a soda sold locally, not a Mojito mix. But yeah, this recipe is awful, especially having lived in Louisville.

I was trying to figure out what bar it was, but if the awful bar tender didn't give it away, the bars downtown (where market street is) are generally horrible. Someone from an Old Louisville, or Highlands bar would probably never say this shit.
posted by yeahwhatever at 9:31 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Oh, also, she trys to pronounce Louisville (luh-ah-vulle) like a native, but that's about the nicest thing you can say about her attempt. At least she tried?
posted by yeahwhatever at 9:33 PM on November 23, 2010


I have never had a Mint Julep. I feel that I, as a dedicated whiskey drinker, have not earned it yet. My palate is not yet refined enough.

I have obsessively researched how to make one, though - which bourbon? Which seltzer? Which variety of fresh mint? Rock sugar or fine? Bleached or raw? Muddle and mix, or mince and shake?

But, now, experts from as far away as South Africa and Cuba have come together to tell me... lime-flavored malternative plus bourbon with a plant inside is the best Julep.

And yet, somehow, the part of me who buried an original print of Yosuf Karsh's portrait of Churchill in dogshit when I heard that his idea of a Dry Martini was to nod in the direction of a bottle of good Vermouth while pouring mediocre gin... it rebells.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:41 PM on November 23, 2010


Wait, people just drink this as a soda? I had presumed its entire purpose was so that immensely lazy people could just make mojitos with it my adding rum.

Now I don't even understand humanity. What the heck is the point of all of this?
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:45 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Also, "with my adding rum"--I have no idea what I meant by that. Oh, wait, I think I meant "by adding rum." But maybe I meant "fishball orangutan fnord." It's from that lady's "Easy Ulysses" recipe.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:46 PM on November 23, 2010 [4 favorites]


> Really? Because mojito mix plus bourbon doesn't sound like it would taste OK to me at all.

Sidhedevil, it tastes better after two and pretty much OK after five.
posted by jfuller at 9:55 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


Next up: Easy MetaFilter, install your favorite CMS onto a MacBook Pro and place it near a telephone and just wait for the members to call in!
posted by victors at 9:58 PM on November 23, 2010 [9 favorites]


Reminds me of the time I was chopping garlic at a BBQ, and some distantly-related lady with very firm opinions kept telling me that garlic powder is identical to chopped garlic.
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:08 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


This lady has managed to find a bartender who provided her with a cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a Mint Julep.
posted by Saydur at 10:16 PM on November 23, 2010 [10 favorites]


What bar is that? I want to burn it down next time I get a chance.

Also, that music is a perfect accompaniment to the kind of idiot circus going on in that video. I'm a live and let live type, but this act of aggression shall not stand. The Mint Julep! Slandered!
posted by GilloD at 10:22 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


I have obsessively researched how to make one, though - which bourbon? Which seltzer? Which variety of fresh mint? Rock sugar or fine? Bleached or raw? Muddle and mix, or mince and shake?

It's not that complicated.

1. Boil up some simple sugar syrup (1 part sugar/1 part water - make as much as you need)
2. Get a bourbon you like (I prefer Jim Beam as it is cheap and comes in large, 1L bottles)
3. Fill up a highball glass with finely crushed ice (you know the kind)
4. Shove as much fresh mint as can possibly fit (the fresher the better)
5. Add a finger of the syrup (after it's cooled)
6. Fill up the rest of the glass with bourbon (for medium range, Woodford is great; for top-notch, all those B brands are fantastic - Booker's or Blanton's, different but they all work)
7. Drink, usually quickly, on a warm day, most preferably while gambling

C'est tout. For sugar, I use vegetarian stuff, but the finer the better I would assume. I don't think it makes much difference. It all dissolves in boiling water.

As for the rest of that stuff (seltzer ...? why not?), I think experimentation is the key. I am curious how many varieties of fresh mint you have access to. Are you growing your own? ;)

PROTIP: make a batch of simple syrup aforehand. It doesn't take much longer than boiling water, and you can store more than you will ever possible need in the next 6 months in a small container in your fridge.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:22 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


if the Mojito mix has sugar and mint in it, then yeah, that's gonna be pretty close to a mint julep, imo. if there's too much lime, then no.

why would BMBLouisville lie?
posted by mrgrimm at 10:25 PM on November 23, 2010


some distantly-related lady with very firm opinions kept telling me that garlic powder is identical to chopped garlic.

:O

This thread has been very upsetting. I'm going to leave my computer now.
posted by Nattie at 10:29 PM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]


What melissam said. That's some thoroughly dispirited mint. And as anyone who's tried to get rid of mint before will tell you, mint is thoroughly difficult to discourage, let alone kill.
posted by Graygorey at 10:31 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]


inedible: posted by inedible at 11:34 PM on November 23 [+] [!] [Q]

Also: "mint juleps can't be that hard."
posted by paisley henosis at 10:33 PM on November 23, 2010


Watching this video made me sour so I had to balance things out by watching The Mint Julep with mixolgist Chris McMillian. Now everything is just fine.
posted by Arthur Phillips Jones Jr at 10:58 PM on November 23, 2010 [9 favorites]


lime plus bourbon sounds nauseating.

Lime plus bourbon is indeed nauseating. That's how you make a snakebite, which is the most horrendous college-kid shot out of all the unholy college-kid permutations that have ever existed. Okay, Yukon Jack is not technically "bourbon" in the sense that it's finely aged in a seasoned barrel and so on, but I think it said it on the bottle and so I thought it would be super-cool if I had a few......

*barf*


It's a bad combination, folks. Don't ever do what that video says, at least not more than, say, four times, or you'll be barfing tomorrow too. And for what it's worth, you shouldn't put lime in beers, either.
posted by deep thought sunstar at 11:45 PM on November 23, 2010


appalling

sometimes I'll pre-flavour my bourbon by putting it and a few sprigs odf fresh mint into a crystal decanter for a week or two before I plan to make mint juleps.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:48 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]


That particular bourbon they show is desecrated by being involved in this travesty. I am not the biggest fan of bourbon, being more a rum man, but that was the tastiest bourbon I have ever had.
posted by Samizdata at 2:06 AM on November 24, 2010


That is the saddest excuse for a cocktail I've ever seen in my life.
posted by harriet vane at 2:23 AM on November 24, 2010


I cannot recognize between a mint julep and a portobello mushroom.
posted by Free word order! at 2:41 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


You're better off. They're pretty tasty but the mystique people associate with them is the equivalent of Stockholm Syndrome. God forbid you have one and don't immediately sing it's praises to high heaven. (Quick am I talking about mushrooms or a mixed drink? Trick question, people act like both are the second fucking coming.)
posted by Peztopiary at 3:13 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


A mint julep is some kind of alcoholic frappucino then?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:19 AM on November 24, 2010


> I cannot recognize between a mint julep and a portobello mushroom.

Youall jes set yo'sef rat theah an make yo'sef at home, Fwo. Ah will fix the punch.
posted by jfuller at 3:19 AM on November 24, 2010


Watching this video made me sour so I had to balance things out by watching The Mint Julep with mixolgist Chris McMillian. Now everything is just fine.

That may be the single greatest thing I have ever seen on the Internet. Persia, prose, pounding - perfect.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 3:26 AM on November 24, 2010


Nice one, "I love you more when I eat paint chips"!
posted by rmmcclay at 4:01 AM on November 24, 2010


I'm surprised to see so much glowing praise of mint juleps in this thread. My great aunt had a bed-and-breakfast in the heart of the bourbon trail. I remember there were several instances of mint julep related humor decorating the bar area. They all were a variation of this joke:

For the perfect mint julep, gather the finest mint leaves and freshest ice. In a silver cup, add a handful of mint and bruise slightly with a tablespoon of granulated sugar. Add ice. Then throw that out the window and pour yourself a glass of bourbon. I have no idea how the joke actually goes, but this is the gist. I remember it being akin to the jokes about making fruitcake that require "testing" the whisky and never actually making the cake.

Subsequently, I grew up thinking that mint juleps were something only tourists drank when they came to watch the races. Now that I'm no longer 9, I've had some mint juleps in my time and find them quite enjoyable. However, I'm just surprised to not see any anti-mint julep snobbery from the bourbon people. Or maybe it was just my great-aunt.
posted by lizjohn at 4:14 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


The YouTube comments are the best part. I love how 2 years ago they're all like, "What a great recipe! I can't wait to get my hands on some Havana Mojito!" then suddenly turn to FUCK YOU GREASER DIE DIE DIE.
posted by fungible at 6:08 AM on November 24, 2010


The only thing I learned was that there are so many different ways one can perkily turn ones head towards the camera within a single 60-second PR spot.
posted by ardgedee at 6:11 AM on November 24, 2010


lizjohn: " I have no idea how the joke actually goes, but this is the gist. "

Here's a pretty serviceable version:

"Pluck the mint gently from its bed, just as the dew of the evening is about to form upon it. Select the choicer sprigs only, but do not rinse them. Prepare the simple syrup and measure out a half-tumbler of whiskey. Pour the whiskey into a well-frosted silver cup, throw the other ingredients away and drink the whiskey."

Attributed on this site to Henry Watterson
posted by Perplexity at 6:13 AM on November 24, 2010


the most horrendous college-kid shot

Huh. Never had a Prairie Fire or a Cement Mixer, then? On a related note, I am now using wikipedia for all my bar/mixed drink needs.

As someone with a seltzer bottle in their bar, I must also echo how much this video frightens, and upsets, me.
posted by LD Feral at 6:19 AM on November 24, 2010


lime plus bourbon sounds nauseating.

I used to make a "quick n' easy" Whiskey Sour with Jim Beam & Lime Cordial. It was delicious.
Go ahead, mixologists! Throw your stones!
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:39 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm just surprised to not see any anti-mint julep snobbery from the bourbon people.

No, the mint julep is actually a pretty damn fine drink. I wouldn't want to use my absolutely most expensive bourbon on it, but it's a great way of getting good mileage out of something that's passably drinkable but not fantastic. I still take my Woodford straight, but Maker's Mark and Knob Creek do just fine in a julep, and adding the sugar and mint can significantly improve something like Rebel Yell.

They're also a great way of getting people who don't like whiskey to drink whiskey.

But don't you dare mix anything with single malt scotch.
posted by valkyryn at 6:42 AM on November 24, 2010


Bless their hearts!
posted by that's candlepin at 6:51 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


There are a lot of things said about the Julep that are just plain wrong -- not least the orthodoxy of bourbon and silver cup, and the supposed "ownership" of the drink by the South or Louisville.

All you need to make a Julep is a little bit of sugar, some mint, the booze (or boozes) of your choice, and plentiful crushed ice. You may delicately muddle the mint in the sugar or not, according to your taste. Charles Baker recommended that the mint be used exclusively as an aromatic garnish, with the straws cut short so that the "olfactory proboscis must be buried in the fragrant herbage." This works well, but it's also true that older-school Juleps were often lavishly garnished with berries in season, wheels of citrus, sticks of pineapple, etc. It's also true that many historical recipes included citrus slices as more than a garnish. (See Mayne Reid's The Quadroon; or, A lover's adventures in Louisiana for a good description of a state of the art Julep circa 1850.)

I've had very nice Juleps made with rum, genever, rye, scotch, Batavia arrack, mezcal and even London dry gin. My favorite is probably the so-called Prescription Julep from Harper’s Monthly in 1857, made with high proof cognac (Louis Royer Force 53 is a favorite) and a touch of rye whiskey.
posted by slkinsey at 7:20 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


He even says "voila" wrong.
posted by norm at 7:23 AM on November 24, 2010


I grew up thinking that mint juleps were something only tourists drank when they came to watch the races.

...

the mint julep is actually a pretty damn fine drink.


You're both right (though not sure I'd go so far as "damn")
posted by mrgrimm at 7:25 AM on November 24, 2010


In the same vein as "i love you more when I eat paint chips" excerpt.

“Then comes the zenith of man’s pleasure.
Then comes the julep – the mint julep.
Who has not tasted one has lived in vain.
The honey of Hymettus brought no such solace to the soul;
the nectar of the Gods is tame beside it.
It is the very dream of drinks, the vision of sweet quaffings.

“The Bourbon and the mint are lovers.
In the same land they live, on the same food they are fostered.
The mint dips its infant leaf into the same stream
that makes the bourbon what it is.
The corn grows in the level lands through which small streams meander.
By the brook-side the mint grows.
As the little wavelets pass, they glide up to kiss the feet of the growing mint,
the mint bends to salute them.
Gracious and kind it is, living only for the sake of others.
The crushing of it only makes its sweetness more apparent.
Like a woman’s heart, it gives its sweetest aroma when bruised.
Among the first to greet the spring, it comes.
Beside the gurgling brooks that make music in the pastures it lives and thrives.

“When the Blue Grass begins to shoot its gentle sprays toward the sun,
mint comes, and its sweetest soul drinks at the crystal brook.
It is virgin then. But soon it must be married to Old Bourbon.
His great heart, his warmth of temperament,
and that affinity which no one understands, demand the wedding.
How shall it be?

“Take from the cold spring some water, pure as angels are;
mix it with sugar until it seems like oil.
Then take a glass and crush your mint within it with a spoon –
crush it around the borders of the glass and leave no place untouched.
Then throw the mint away — it is a sacrifice.

“Fill with cracked ice the glass;
pour in the quantity of Bourbon which you want.
It trickles slowly through the ice.
Let it have time to cool, then pour your sugared water over it.
No spoon is needed, no stirring is allowed –
just let it stand a moment.
Then around the brim place sprigs of mint,
so that the one who drinks may find a taste and odor at one draught.

“Then when it is made, sip it slowly.

August suns are shining, 
the breath of the south wind is upon you.

It is fragrant, cold and sweet -– it is seductive.

No maiden’s kiss is tenderer or more refreshing,

no maiden’s touch could be more passionate.

Sip it and dream -– you cannot dream amiss.

Sip it and dream –- it is a dream itself.

No other land can give so sweet solace for your cares;

no other liquor soothes you in melancholy days.
Sip it and say there is no solace for the soul,

no tonic for the body like old Bourbon whiskey.”

– Joshua Soule Smith, Kentucky Colonel
Published in the Lexington Herald in the 1880s


Quoted here by a fantastic barman while making one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJV-O1e10z8
posted by Macphisto at 7:45 AM on November 24, 2010


Blasphemy. A mint julep is finely crushed ice, a bit of sugar, fresh mint (not that wilted stuff in the video), and bourbon. It's not hard to make, tastes sublime on a hot Virginia evening, and doesn't involve anything resembling a mix.
posted by Blackanvil at 7:53 AM on November 24, 2010


I thought for sure it would be the Woodford Reserve "Mint Julep".

Watch this. Please. But for the love of God don't drink it.
posted by unixrat at 8:08 AM on November 24, 2010


Which seltzer?

None, of course.
posted by kenko at 8:26 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


From now on I am going to end all my emails: "Being overcome with thirst, I can write no further."
posted by The Bellman at 8:43 AM on November 24, 2010 [6 favorites]


Whenever I read threads like these I start thinking, "I should level up my alcoholism".
posted by neuromodulator at 9:02 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Poor Woodford Reserve, so meanly used.
posted by klangklangston at 9:07 AM on November 24, 2010


Subsequently, I grew up thinking that mint juleps were something only tourists drank when they came to watch the races.

It's like how I grew up with George Carlin's first couple of records (from back before he discovered obscenity!) and in particular my parents loved quoting his cooking show routine back and forth, one that ends "...then you throw 'em away folks, they're no good, you can't eat them damn grits."

It wasn't until I was I was in my early twenties that I discovered grits were tasty. It wasn't until I was in my late twenties that I realized my parents liked them too, and just couldn't resist a dumb comedy record.

Makes me wonder what horrible misconceptions about the world the children of the Monty-Python-quoting generation of nerds will grow up with.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:22 AM on November 24, 2010


> Subsequently, I grew up thinking that mint juleps were something only tourists drank when they came to watch the races. Now that I'm no longer 9, I've had some mint juleps in my time and find them quite enjoyable. However, I'm just surprised to not see any anti-mint julep snobbery from the bourbon people. Or maybe it was just my great-aunt

A really well made classic mint julep is a thing of beauty. And I'm not even Southern. But I appreciate them as a transplanted Yank the same way I do fried chicken, proper all-day barbecue, fingers of cornbread, johnnycakes, properly made cheese grits esp. when paired with catfish or shrimp, molasses on biscuits, kale, and okra. But not the diabetes-inducing sweet tea, marshmallows on sweet potatoes (to this day I am all WTF), uncharacteristic-for-the-South unsweet skillet cornbread, or white gravy--sorry, y'all can keep 'em, I'ma keep my northern bagel and pizza dough, Jewish deli pastrami sandwiches, real (as in dark and runny) gravy, and clam chowder.
posted by ifjuly at 9:58 AM on November 24, 2010


Makes me wonder what horrible misconceptions about the world the children of the Monty-Python-quoting generation of nerds will grow up with.

The plumage of the Norwegian Blue Parrot is, contrary to popular belief, rather drab.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:25 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I KNEW IT
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:27 AM on November 24, 2010


OMG. On behalf of Miami and Miami Beach, let me offer my sincere apologies to juleps and bourbon. That thing, it most certainly is not a potable cocktail, is an abomination.

As a further note, I had my one and only mint julep while touring an old plantation home not far from New Orleans. I can only assume that it was probably not a very good mint julep, given the circumstances (it came in a plastic cup), and yet it was a very good drink. (Personally, I'm a gin man.)
posted by oddman at 11:53 AM on November 24, 2010


This thread is making it really hard for me to wait the remaining minute it will take me to refrain from drinking before noon
posted by cobra_high_tigers at 11:59 AM on November 24, 2010


"Drinking before noon" is why things like bloody marys and mimosas were invented.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:24 PM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


Okay guys, here's the deal.

If you would never, ever drink this yourself, you're a discriminating cocktail enthusiast.

If you feel the compunction to insult and look down upon people who would, you're a god damned hipster.
posted by tehloki at 12:34 PM on November 24, 2010


Watch this. Please. But for the love of God don't drink it.

*stares*

Li'l Titsy there just fucking ruined a perfectly good Woodford shot. Jesus Christ, Sprite? I'm going to go beat up a hobo now.
posted by Skot at 12:46 PM on November 24, 2010


So my girlfriend's been bartending in New Orleans for eight years. She started out laughing, but then she started yelling at the computer, and then she just shook her head and grumbled about how no one appreciates proper mint juleps.

And then she stomped out to buy bourbon for real mint juleps. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Tip your bartender.
posted by honeydew at 1:11 PM on November 24, 2010 [6 favorites]


Jesus Christ, the sign behind that woman says Artemisia. Surely not.

I never went to Artemisia myself, and I prefer my bourbon straight, so I have no idea if she stole a sign or what.
posted by dilettante at 3:58 PM on November 24, 2010


If you feel the compunction to insult and look down upon people who would

Nah, why should I? I don't look down on people who drink lighter fluid, either.

I do look down on people who make videos touting how awesome it would be for other people to drink lighter fluid! Lighter fluid! It's delicious! Come to a fancy restaurant and drink lighter fluid! It's the best!
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:22 PM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Subsequently, I grew up thinking that mint juleps were something only tourists drank when they came to watch the races. Now that I'm no longer 9, I've had some mint juleps in my time and find them quite enjoyable. However, I'm just surprised to not see any anti-mint julep snobbery from the bourbon people. Or maybe it was just my great-aunt.

I'm with you. Someone somewhere, probably the same guy who said "Italians are the ones who only eat pizza and it is their delicacy", decided that "Louisanians are the ones who only drink mint julep and it is their delicacy" and made a big f-ing deal about something that was just a tiny slice of their culture. And a cultural meme was born.

(Like the note above about how to make one- can't anyone tell the writer is being a smartass?)

My grandfather had a poster that was drawn up to look like an engineering drawing on how to make a martini. The method for getting the right amount of vermouth was to refract the light of a specific wattage bulb through the vermouth onto the gin.
posted by gjc at 6:44 AM on November 25, 2010


Watching this video made me sour so I had to balance things out by watching The Mint Julep with mixolgist Chris McMillian. Now everything is just fine.

That may be the single greatest thing I have ever seen on the Internet. Persia, prose, pounding - perfect.

Get thee to New Orleans and seek the man out. I had the pleasure of propping up the bar back in July with Chris McMillian the other side, and it was an incredible experience. The best cocktails I've ever had with no doubt and he's an utterly charming and engaging man (as the video and others on You Tube show).
posted by chill at 5:37 AM on November 26, 2010


This is the first time I've ever seen hilarious, on-target YouTube comments. "OR! You could mix Popov vodka and Mountain Dew in a red plastic cup, then add a pea-sized amount of toothpaste."
posted by verb at 10:09 AM on November 26, 2010 [1 favorite]


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