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A bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a pig.
November 24, 2010 6:22 AM   Subscribe

Epic Meal - It's a quail inside a Cornish Hen inside a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey inside a pig. Garnished with Baconators. It's a paean to excess. 79,046 calories and 6,892 grams of fat.
posted by Happy Dave (171 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

congrats?
posted by nathancaswell at 6:27 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


More cornbread. Less bacon.
posted by valkyryn at 6:27 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I like meat - a lot. I like bacon - a lot. But that made me kind of (a lot) sick.

Also, I don't want my dinner looking at me, even if it is with flame broiled, beady little eyes. Cut that thing's head off before you cook it, damn.
posted by menschlich at 6:29 AM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]


Stick that inside a goat inside a calf inside a camel and I'm in.
posted by Ahab at 6:29 AM on November 24, 2010 [28 favorites]


I laughed when he punched the raw pig
posted by r_nebblesworthII at 6:29 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


On some morning show, I saw a thing built of a complete cherry pie baked inside a chocolate cake, a pumpkin pie baked inside a yellow cake and an apple pie baked into a spice cake, the whole thing held together with caramel frosting and garnished with coconut. It seemed ghastly. I think stunt food has gotten way out of hand.
posted by theora55 at 6:30 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


...inside an ostrich inside a cow inside a rhinoceros inside an elephant inside a brontosaurus.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:30 AM on November 24, 2010 [9 favorites]



That exceeded my recommended daily allowance of Hipster. I'm going to have to go lie down.

Also Traegar woodpellet grills blue ?
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 6:31 AM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]


Yo Dawg in 5... 4... 3...
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 6:31 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


there's only one to top this next year. i've got my eye on my fat neighbor. and his dog.
posted by kitchenrat at 6:34 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


Somebody missed an opportunity to fit a hard-boiled egg inside the quail.
posted by .kobayashi. at 6:35 AM on November 24, 2010 [18 favorites]


there's only one to top this next year. i've got my eye on my fat neighbor. and his dog.

Throw a cat, hampster and teenager in and that's good eatin'!
posted by nomadicink at 6:36 AM on November 24, 2010


I would not like to use a toilet after this man.
posted by permafrost at 6:36 AM on November 24, 2010


Another offal hipster holiday.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:37 AM on November 24, 2010 [7 favorites]


I love meat, but you know the old trick with parents stopping their kids from smoking by making them smoke an entire pack in one sitting?
posted by Navelgazer at 6:37 AM on November 24, 2010 [5 favorites]


Above a certain point you need to stop counting in grahams and switch to kilograms or pounds. That thing has 15 pounds of fat in it and as many calories as two and a half gallons of gasoline. In 2,000 years this will be cited as symptomatic of the downfall of the empire.
posted by ChrisHartley at 6:38 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


There was an old woman who swallowed a horse...
posted by mrzer0 at 6:43 AM on November 24, 2010


I once knew a woman who swallowed a fly
It wiggled and tiggled and tickled inside her
No one knows why she swallowed a fly
Perhaps she'll die

(spell check claims tiggled ain't a word!)
posted by bukvich at 6:43 AM on November 24, 2010


Is there a name for this sort of idiocy? Where people perform arbitrary acts, for attention, seemingly proud of being dumb, while at the same time giving the impression that they are smarter than this.

Not hipsterism, not childishness, but something else.
posted by therubettes at 6:44 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


8:43 mrzer0. 8:43.
posted by bukvich at 6:45 AM on November 24, 2010


Sounds good to me. But is this really any more excessive than any other similarly sized feast? 79,000 calories is an interesting way to frame the point. It's not as if one person is supposed to eat the thing in one sitting.
posted by 2N2222 at 6:45 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


When people tire of stuffing one food into another the next craze will be throwing it all in a blender. Would you like a glass of my First Thanksgiving Smoothie? It's a delicious blend of swan, turkey, mussels, venison, clams, goose, cod, eels, pumpkin, beetroot, corn, berries, beans, peas, and harvest grains.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 6:46 AM on November 24, 2010 [7 favorites]


I think I shall watch this clip whenever I think I'm hungry, because watching them eat that thing made me feel ill. I shall be passing on breakfast this morning.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 6:47 AM on November 24, 2010


These should be launched into North Korea.
posted by condour75 at 6:47 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


Well that finally calmed the Angry Birds down.
posted by Phantomx at 6:48 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


The recipe for stuffed camel if Ahab is interested.
posted by hariya at 6:48 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I would totally eat quail inside a Cornish Hen inside a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey inside a pig and garnished with Baconators... in moderation.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 6:48 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


bukvich I think it is supposed to be "jiggled" instead of "tiggled".
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 6:50 AM on November 24, 2010


America: It's a paean to excess.
posted by DU at 6:50 AM on November 24, 2010


On some morning show, I saw a thing built of a complete cherry pie baked inside a chocolate cake, a pumpkin pie baked inside a yellow cake and an apple pie baked into a spice cake, the whole thing held together with caramel frosting and garnished with coconut. It seemed ghastly. I think stunt food has gotten way out of hand.

How DARE you talk that way about my beloved cherpumple.
posted by 23skidoo at 6:51 AM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]


therubettes:Is there a name for this sort of idiocy? Where people perform arbitrary acts, for attention, seemingly proud of being dumb, while at the same time giving the impression that they are smarter than this.

Not hipsterism, not childishness, but something else.

Conspicuous consumption, in this case, literally.
posted by Panjandrum at 6:51 AM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]


Uh oh, they are Canadian. THE VIRUS IS SPREADING!!!
posted by DU at 6:51 AM on November 24, 2010


2N2222: It's not as if one person is supposed to eat the thing in one sitting.

It looks like a Man v. Food challenge has been issued!
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 6:52 AM on November 24, 2010


They lost me at "Dr. Pepper glaze."

Seriously. How out of ideas do you have to be not to come up with your own flavoured sugar glaze?
posted by clvrmnky at 6:53 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


therubettes: "Is there a name for this sort of idiocy? Where people perform arbitrary acts, for attention, seemingly proud of being dumb, while at the same time giving the impression that they are smarter than this."

"People who like to have fun." I'm sure this wasn't done solely for the attention. It looks like they had a good time making the... well, I'm not even sure what to call it, as well as the video as well as eating it.
posted by battlebison at 6:53 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's no turturkeykey.
posted by NoMich at 6:53 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


Instead of stuffing one animal into the next, you could sew each animal's mouth to the next animal's butt. Thanksgiving Centipede!

sorry. I watched Human Centipede last night before going to bed. It's all I can think about. *twitch*
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:56 AM on November 24, 2010 [20 favorites]


Well, that definitely made becoming vegetarian more interesting.
posted by nomadicink at 6:58 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


Honestly, this sounds pretty boring as a meal. You get a slightly varying taste and texture and sore jaw. (THAT'S WHAT etc).
posted by DU at 6:58 AM on November 24, 2010


I propose stuffing a Blue Whale with almost every edible creature imaginable ending with a hummingbird of some sort. We could call it Noah's Ark.
posted by ob at 6:59 AM on November 24, 2010 [39 favorites]


give a hipster an xray before you eat one for thanksgiving.
to make sure. the cycle continues
posted by metafus at 6:59 AM on November 24, 2010


Woodcock, inside a Partridge, inside a Pigeon, inside a Pheasant, inside a Guinea fowl inside a Mallard, inside a Chicken, inside an Aylesbury Duck, inside a Goose, inside a Turkey

The recipe is a little short on detail, however
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 7:00 AM on November 24, 2010


I totally want to eat this, but that could also be the pregnancy hormones talking.

I do not, however, want to make one in my own home. What a MESS.
posted by sonika at 7:00 AM on November 24, 2010


sorry. I watched Human Centipede last night before going to bed. It's all I can think about. *twitch*

It's on Netflix Instant now. I think I know what I'll be watching after Thanksgiving dinner.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:00 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Excuse me while I go throw up now.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 7:01 AM on November 24, 2010


therubettes: "Is there a name for this sort of idiocy? Where people perform arbitrary acts, for attention, seemingly proud of being dumb, while at the same time giving the impression that they are smarter than this."

"People who like to have fun."

You are right. I am just in a bad mood! Sorry for being a grump.
posted by therubettes at 7:01 AM on November 24, 2010


I'm going to start stealing recipes like this and publish them as Final Exit: The Cookbook.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:01 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


I think stunt food has gotten way out of hand.

All the flavors of the various game are reduced to bacon smoke and sugar. There's fun and then there is a waste of delicious food. Hipsters ruin everything again.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:02 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


Metafilter: thanksgiving human centipede with bacon stitching
posted by lalochezia at 7:04 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


It's not that I have a problem with any part of this, it's just that I am pretty sure I would prefer that pig, turkey, chicken, hen, quail, and bacon much more separately.
posted by Nothing at 7:04 AM on November 24, 2010


turduckenschwein?
posted by Kabanos at 7:07 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


I'm glad I read the thread before watching the video, because I was eating. Thanks for the warning.

These things inside things inside things recipes always remind me of some recipe somewhere I read in one of my history classes in college. I'm pretty sure it wasn't medieval, so maybe it was Roman. I may have to go looking for the historical ancestor of the turducken.
posted by immlass at 7:14 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


These aren't just random, annoying hipsters, it's a promotion for a website devoted to food stunts. So these are actors being paid to represent hipsters. Of course, at times it can be difficult to tell actors and hipsters apart.
posted by mecran01 at 7:15 AM on November 24, 2010


How DARE you talk that way about my beloved cherpumple.

Apparently I am more devoted to sugary goodness than meat, because I so want a piece of chermumple pie cake now. Just one piece! That should last me for a few days.
posted by menschlich at 7:15 AM on November 24, 2010


They'll be eating this over and over in hell.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:15 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Amateurs. This is how it should be done. It may be smaller but it makes up for it in species.
posted by Electric Dragon at 7:17 AM on November 24, 2010


I liked the guy with the yamulke at the end. I hate to break it to him, this wasn't kosher.
posted by Xurando at 7:17 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I don't want to be the one saying 'Think of the STARVING CHILDREN', but, really, this is somewhere between literally decadent and a massive pile of meat wank.
posted by mippy at 7:18 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


And the so-called Food and Drug Administration does nothing.
posted by tommasz at 7:18 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


This doesn't seem hipster at all, it seems really bro-ish. Everyone at the end seems like a bro.
posted by 23skidoo at 7:20 AM on November 24, 2010 [13 favorites]


That exceeded my recommended daily allowance of Hipster. I'm going to have to go lie down.

Can we stop doing this? I mean, I watched the video without sound, but I'm still pretty sure there is NO evidence in there that these kids aren't just normal Canadian 20-somethings.

Unless I'm missing something from the audio track, of course.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:20 AM on November 24, 2010


It's no turturkeykey.

I dunno, I've tried turturkeykey and it just tasted... wrong.
posted by kmz at 7:21 AM on November 24, 2010


Man, if it weren't for the croissants and Dr. Pepper and the baconator buns, this would be totally on my low-carb diet. But all I want is a cherpumple now.
posted by artychoke at 7:22 AM on November 24, 2010


Needs a side salad.
posted by stp123 at 7:22 AM on November 24, 2010


The Dr. Pepper definitely leans towards bro, not hipster.

Though really, the whole thing feels kinda medieval. I'm imagining Henry VIII* digging in to this.

*No, I don't care if he was technically medieval. He was fat.
posted by sonika at 7:22 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


mecran01: "These aren't just random, annoying hipsters, it's a promotion for a website devoted to food stunts. So these are actors being paid to represent hipsters. Of course, at times it can be difficult to tell actors and hipsters apart."

So you're saying they put actors inside a bunch of hipsters? What did they use for glue?
posted by Happy Dave at 7:23 AM on November 24, 2010 [5 favorites]


Needs a side salad.

Squash stuffed with lettuce stuffed with peppers stuffed with mushrooms stuffed with.. pine nuts?
posted by Ahab at 7:27 AM on November 24, 2010


Enjoyed the presentation.

Loathed the idea.

Don't understand all this use of the word 'hipster'.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 7:29 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


I would be more impressed if the order was reversed.
posted by snofoam at 7:30 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


I think people in general have given up caring just how gluttonous they come across as. If we really lived in that fairy-tale land of an interventionist Devil he's be sitting back having a warm beer congratulating himself on such a fine result.

Wrath - TeaBagger victory
Lust - internet
Pride - Not really considered a sin anymore
Heresy - ditto
Gluttony - Modern Thanksgiving
Sloth - obesity epidemic
Greed - wall street, etc etc.



Course things aren't as black and white as all of that, and yeah it is flawed, but still we seem to be such indulgent cream puffs nowadays. There has to be some middle ground between inane puritanism and wretched excess.
posted by edgeways at 7:32 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


Ugh, gross. It looks like an outtake from Next Floor.
posted by headnsouth at 7:32 AM on November 24, 2010


. . . well, I'm not even sure what to call it. . .

Corchiduturbapi? (COR-chi-duh-TUR-ba-pee.)
posted by The Bellman at 7:32 AM on November 24, 2010


Don't understand all this use of the word 'hipster'.

As far as I understand it, "hipster" is a catch-all word to describe "people who are doing stuff that I, myself, aren't doing." And something about skinny pants.
posted by bondcliff at 7:33 AM on November 24, 2010 [12 favorites]


God, why did I start reading these comments while I'm eating...
posted by AugieAugustus at 7:34 AM on November 24, 2010


hipster , hipster , hipster , hipster

Ok, I understand the hip-hate, but really, since when does "young, ambitious and meat loving" equate to being a hipster? As far as I can see, these are just young people, in their early twenties. Yeah, a lot of their peers might be "hipsters", but I just don't see it in this group.
posted by sunshinesky at 7:35 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


Hipsters, Actors, Romans... It's so tough to keep this stuff straight any more.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 7:36 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


And something about skinny pants.

Not for long (at the rate they're feeding, anyway).
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:38 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


What do we call a vegetarian hipster? Rosehipster?
posted by mippy at 7:39 AM on November 24, 2010


Most of the use of the word hipster in this thread seems to be people saying they aren't really hipsters. Let it go.
posted by waitingtoderail at 7:39 AM on November 24, 2010


Fucking not-hipsters.
posted by bondcliff at 7:42 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


Me and a friend split one of these last Thanksgiving. The trick to finishing it is you need to drink a lot of water, and pause to take in some salad now and then. Also, you don't actually eat it per se, so much as chew each mouthful before spitting it into a bucket and then letting stray dogs feed from the bucket. You still get to enjoy the taste, though, and that's what matters.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:42 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


Still not getting the excess outrage. My family does a feast two or three times a year, preparing a meal that is way excessive compared to what we eat the rest of the time. It's a multi person effort, all of us crammed into the kitchen and overflowing into adjacent rooms, creating a meal that I'm sure exceeds the calorie count of the one presented. But we don't usually stuff one kind of meat into another, so I guess it's all OK.

Also, I think our hipster compass is broken beyond repair.
posted by 2N2222 at 7:43 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


This sort of thing just pushes me that much closer to becoming a vegetarian.
Grotesque excess.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:45 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'm not a vegetarian but I was kinda hoping the quail would do a chestburster and attack them.
posted by fleetmouse at 7:46 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


are they all de-boned beforehand? (Youtube is blocked at work so i can't see it)
posted by mary8nne at 7:46 AM on November 24, 2010


So you're saying they put actors inside a bunch of hipsters? What did they use for glue?

Meat glue, just like the video's narrator talks about.
posted by menschlich at 7:47 AM on November 24, 2010


Also, you don't actually eat it per se, so much as chew each mouthful before spitting it into a bucket and then letting stray dogs feed from the bucket.

What, really? You chew but don't swallow your food?
posted by headnsouth at 7:47 AM on November 24, 2010


Also, I think our hipster compass is broken beyond repair.

The wearing of aviator sunglasses indoors, at night, while consuming in an insincere and ironic fashion is probably one the deadest of dead giveaways.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:47 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


Most of the use of the word hipster in this thread seems to be people saying they aren't really hipsters.

This is sort of a tautology, no?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:50 AM on November 24, 2010


Most of the use of the word hipster in this thread seems to be people saying they aren't really hipsters. Let it go.

Hence why I only quoted the exact amount of times it was used in a negative sense. I do my research.... by which I mean "command-F"
posted by sunshinesky at 7:51 AM on November 24, 2010


this all puts a new spin on their logo.
posted by fallacy of the beard at 7:52 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


Woodcock, inside a Partridge, inside a Pigeon, inside a Pheasant, inside a Guinea fowl inside a Mallard, inside a Chicken, inside an Aylesbury Duck, inside a Goose, inside a Turkey

At that point, why not just walk into a pet store, stuff as many animals as you can into a blender, and drink your way to indigestion?
posted by zarq at 7:52 AM on November 24, 2010


Let them eat lots and lots of meat.
posted by kmz at 7:55 AM on November 24, 2010


The wearing of aviator sunglasses indoors, at night, while consuming in an insincere and ironic fashion is probably one the deadest of dead giveaways.


People Wearing Aviators has lots of people indoors, at night, wearing aviators who, like the people in this vid, are so totally NOT hipsters.

Consuming ironically is not only done by hipsters. I mean, bros love Four Loko, too, y'know.
posted by 23skidoo at 7:56 AM on November 24, 2010


That exceeded my recommended daily allowance of Hipster.
Another offal hipster holiday.
give a hipster an xray before you eat one for thanksgiving.
Hipsters ruin everything again.
So these are actors being paid to represent hipsters.

"Hipster?" Really? These people are hipsters now?

I've reviewed the videos. Use of the word epic, mirrored aviators worn indoors. I see no skinny jeans, I see like one plaid shirt but they're in fucking Canada, I saw ONLY one moustache and it's Movember so that's non conclusive, pretty sure I saw at least one chinstrap, they're drinking heineken, "online gaming friends" (BRO LETS PLAY SOME HALO), gawking at a hot girl, one guy with just a touch of the five o clock shadow and a backwards hat...

If anything, they--or rather the main guy and most of the males in the videos--are more Douchebag Dane Cook Bro, if you wanted to try and classify them all as one social cliche, and I don't think they all fit neatly into one.

They are young people attempting to be "epic" and posturing for the camera.

"Hipster" should not be used as a catch-all replacement for "young people today."
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 7:56 AM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]


Watching that with the sound off was like an episode of Dexter.
posted by tula at 8:00 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I see that while I was doing my video research a bunch of other people beat me to the punch.
So I guess it's nice to know I wasn't the only one bothered by it.

I really want to find out who is sponsoring these videos... I don't think they're independently done. They are trying too hard and they seem too well organized. It just pings my bullshit detector.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 8:00 AM on November 24, 2010


Man, that thing probably just tastes like a salt lick with a burnt sugar chaser. What a waste of food.

I just don't see it in this group.

If you stuff a yid joke into mirrored sunglasses worn indoors into knowingly sophmoric profanity into ironic smoking into defiant middle-finger non-sequitur into OMG BACON IS TOTES RAD! into knowing asininity and glaze it with a general sense of smugness, you may end up with a diagnosis of hipster.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:00 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


It's revolting. I do ask myself why I find it so revolting, though. Have I absorbed the parental norms of thrift and temperance this well?
posted by Omnomnom at 8:01 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


> It's revolting. I do ask myself why I find it so revolting, though. Have I absorbed the parental norms of thrift and temperance this well?

No, there's nothing normative about it. It's objectively revolting. The end.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:02 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Less hipster more centipede.
posted by Sailormom at 8:02 AM on November 24, 2010


Douchebag Dane Cook Bro

Yeah, the head douche really throws off a Dane Cook vibe.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:03 AM on November 24, 2010


OK, can I just ask: why is it so important to label them anything at all? The important thing here is they've created a meat babushka. Let's stay focused here.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:05 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I had not anticipated this turning into a Mefi-Hipster-Hate-Label back and forth for sure.

Plus 'meat babushka' is a masterpiece of terse description.
posted by Happy Dave at 8:07 AM on November 24, 2010


why all the putting down of hipster dudes? i love them. they're cute and endearingly bi-curious.
posted by fallacy of the beard at 8:07 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I think this just caused an integer overflow on my calorie counter......
posted by schmod at 8:08 AM on November 24, 2010


OK, can I just ask: why is it so important to label them anything at all?

EVERY PERSON FITS NEATLY INTO DISTINCT CATEGORIES WITH NO OVERLAP
posted by shakespeherian at 8:08 AM on November 24, 2010 [14 favorites]


OK, can I just ask: why is it so important to label them anything at all?

If we don't label them, how do we know whether we should love them or hate them?
posted by bondcliff at 8:10 AM on November 24, 2010


Meat glue



I thought he was saying "MEAT GLOOP."

In fact, I went back and watched it again, and all I hear is "MEAT GLOOP." It looks like MEAT GLOOP.




It's like I gave myself food poisoning with the power of my mind. MEAT GLOOP.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:10 AM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


If you stuff a yid joke into mirrored sunglasses worn indoors into knowingly sophmoric profanity into ironic smoking into defiant middle-finger non-sequitur into OMG BACON IS TOTES RAD! into knowing asininity and glaze it with a general sense of smugness, you should be called the bro-ingest group of bros that ever bro-ed a Thanksbroing.
posted by 23skidoo at 8:11 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


The wearing of aviator sunglasses indoors, at night, while consuming in an insincere and ironic fashion is probably one the deadest of dead giveaways.

They're just following Canadian tradition. Also, black cars look better in the shade.
posted by bonehead at 8:12 AM on November 24, 2010


Dr. Pepper BBQ sauce rocks (I have not tried it on this quail concoction however).
posted by rtimmel at 8:17 AM on November 24, 2010


I thought he was saying "MEAT GLOOP."

In fact, I went back and watched it again, and all I hear is "MEAT GLOOP." It looks like MEAT GLOOP.

Darn. Nevermind, then. (And I thought meat glue was kind of catchy, too, considering what they were doing!)
posted by menschlich at 8:19 AM on November 24, 2010


Yeah, I'm getting a little tired of the "weird combination of animals" thing -- except for this one, which is like win stuffed into awesome wrapped in oh dear god yes glazed with adorable.
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:19 AM on November 24, 2010


The birds are all boneless, the pig isn't.
posted by TooFewShoes at 8:21 AM on November 24, 2010


The important thing here is they've created a meat babushka.

I think you mean matryoshka, dude.
posted by elizardbits at 8:33 AM on November 24, 2010 [6 favorites]


+1 for you people don't know from hipsters. These are garden variety bros, except for maybe the guy with the little moustache.
posted by oinopaponton at 8:35 AM on November 24, 2010


No, it's a babushka. Although you could also call it a matryoshka.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:35 AM on November 24, 2010


tula: "Watching that with the sound off was like an episode of Dexter"

If you timed that properly with the theme that video would be HAUNTING
posted by graventy at 8:42 AM on November 24, 2010


Slashfood 10 bird roast - DIY
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:42 AM on November 24, 2010


Meat glue (transglutaminase) probably would have been a big help here, actually.
posted by bonehead at 8:42 AM on November 24, 2010


Watching that with the sound off was like an episode of Dexter

In that everything was painfully over-explained?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:44 AM on November 24, 2010


okay, fine, whatevs.

*ties birdpig to head*
posted by elizardbits at 8:45 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


No, it's a babushka. Although you could also call it a matryoshka.

I don't know about you, but my babushka has always been made out of meat. If you are trying to gut-spill about the pain you went through growing up with a mother who was a test tube baby, GYOFB.

It is, canonically, a матрëшка, and insistence otherwise betrays ignorance of slavic language and custom.
posted by thesmophoron at 8:46 AM on November 24, 2010


tula: "Watching that with the sound off was like an episode of Dexter"

If you timed that properly with the theme that video would be HAUNTING

It is. Oh god, it is. (Mute the bros)
posted by oinopaponton at 8:46 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I would be more impressed if the order was reversed.

Now I'm envisioning John Madden cooking a turducken with Doctor Who, making a roasted bird that's bigger on the inside. Thanks for that.
posted by Johnny Assay at 8:48 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


And then BOOM! I used the sonic screwdriver and my athlete's foot was gone!
posted by kmz at 8:51 AM on November 24, 2010


Cherpumple pie cake. Cherpumple pie cake. I can't stop saying it. I couldn't (and wouldn't) eat a bite, but cherpumple pie cake as as mellifluous a phrase as I've heard lately.

Why didn't they put an ortolan inside the quail? I mean, if they were going to go all out.
posted by sugarfish at 8:51 AM on November 24, 2010


No, just staring at the video mesmerizes me as I will be stuck at my stupid, hours cut by 30%, convenience store job from 1-8 p.m.on Thanksgiving, totally missing all the delicious fresh food with the familia, so vast extremes like that just get me happier.
posted by Samizdata at 8:51 AM on November 24, 2010


Or, if I could be so bold as to coin a phrase - мястрёшка
posted by thesmophoron at 8:51 AM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]


"Meat wank" is a great phrase.
posted by klangklangston at 8:53 AM on November 24, 2010


Woodcock, inside a Partridge, inside a Pigeon, inside a Pheasant, inside a Guinea fowl inside a Mallard, inside a Chicken, inside an Aylesbury Duck, inside a Goose, inside a Turkey


WEAK. I present to you the roti sans pareil or "Roast without Equal" which is 17 BIRDS (no bacon hipster bullshit) stuffed inside eachother. And even more impressive, it has a history, it's not just some crap on the internet. Booyah.
posted by fungible at 8:55 AM on November 24, 2010


and as many calories as two and a half gallons of gasoline.

Or, something on the order of 100 chipotle burritos.
posted by advil at 8:58 AM on November 24, 2010


About that guy who started beating on the pig and contents and looked way too smug about it: No, smug guy, I didn't find you clever, just stupid, inhumane and likely drunk. I watched until I saw this flagrant display of consumption for consumption's sake was actually eaten and hoped it was uncooked in the centre and - forgive me - caused massive food poisoning.
posted by drogien at 9:03 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


As far as I can tell, these days the word "hipsters" just means, "Young(ish) people who does not look or act like they belong in a Budweiser commercial."
posted by adamdschneider at 9:07 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I would have like to have tried a bit of that. Seriously. A little good bread, a nice brewski going on.
posted by rmmcclay at 9:08 AM on November 24, 2010


Come on, guys. It's not like one person is supposed to eat the whole thing at once.
posted by dunkadunc at 9:13 AM on November 24, 2010


Gluttony Pants
posted by zarq at 9:15 AM on November 24, 2010


Related: the only funny thing on the Something Awful front page in 5 years
posted by codacorolla at 9:19 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites] 


There were some young hipsters who swallowed a pig.
I don't know they swallowed that pig!
They swallowed the pig to catch the turkey...
They swallowed the turkey to catch the duck...
They swallowed the duck to catch the chicken...
They swallowed the chicken to catch the Cornish Hen ...
They swallowed the Cornish Hen to catch the quail,
And ate Baconators that lay there beside her.

But I dunno why they swallowed that fry!* 

I hope they die!

---
* or why they glazed it with Dr Pepper

posted by mazola at 9:24 AM on November 24, 2010


graventy: "tula: "Watching that with the sound off was like an episode of Dexter"

If you timed that properly with the theme that video would be HAUNTING"


BAM.
posted by Happy Dave at 9:31 AM on November 24, 2010


*ties birdpig to head*

That was the style at the time.
posted by emelenjr at 9:33 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


It upsets me that it was so badly carved and plated. So little style.
posted by gomichild at 9:38 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


I'd like to have tried that too, half a slice or so, but not with so many angry, staring dudes around.

My non-humorous side (ka-zoing. I just found out something new about me) tells me that a stuffed pig can be done more effectively. But if one chooses for the hard road, this is still too much of a shortcut: each one of these birds benefits from a different treatment to get really good, so one should prepare everything separately and only wring it all together at the end (Quail. Cute little animals. So sad anyway, but don't mess with them!).

I am okay with all the bacon. It helps keeping things succulent (I would probably use fresh, unsalted, un-smoked, bacon to have more control over the overall mix of flavors, and the salt level). But I second the 'lost-me-at-dr-peppers' comment above.

Honestly, using a roadkill glaze on a creation like this is like building a log barn with your bare hands and then spraying it bright turquoise.
posted by Namlit at 9:39 AM on November 24, 2010


Hipsters? It's all relative.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:43 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


The very next day the Lorax returned.
He was so very angry his face looked quite burned.
"Listen here, Once-ler," he barked with a growl.
"Your cholesterol count has become rather foul.
You sit here all day munching thingamajigs,
Eating birds, inside birds, inside birds - inside pigs!
And then when it seems there's no more you can take,
You top it all off with cherpumple pie cake!
The planet's a mess and your arteries too,
And still you sit here slorping bacon-fat stew!
"I'll tell you what, Once-ler," he said with a sneer,
"I'll show you just what you'll eat next around here!"

And then as I watched he pulled out a big dish,
Lay a swomee swan on it and stuffed it with fish!
Six hummingfish jammed up the swomee swan's snoot,
Then he stuffed the whole mess in a brown bar-ba-loot!
He braised it and roasted, he gluppity-glupped it,
Cooked it an hour then shluppity-shlupped it!
And then to my horror and wonder and awe,
He shoved that whole roast down his own gaping maw!
Hopped on to the dish, flung himself in the oven,
Turned back with a frown and said a last somethin'.
"Okay, Once-ler, you miserable hipster-ma-bob!
Here's a last meal to stuff up your smuggy-smug gob!"

The oven door slammed, the Lorax, he roasted,
And three hours later my friends and I toasted
The feast that he'd made from the last tasty stuff
We knew we would find among Truffula tufts.
We all stood up straight, took off trucker-hatses.
I cleared my throat, fixed my squarie-rimmed glasses.
"Here's to the Lorax," I brayed like an ass,
"He once was a thing, but now he's just gas!"
posted by gompa at 9:53 AM on November 24, 2010 [12 favorites]


Just so we're clear here: I ate a cowboy burger, I ate the whole thing, in one sitting, with no help. I love the long tradition of stuffing animals with other animals: it is very medieval feast-y. I saw the first score of mocking comments before I watched the video, and I thought "psh, MetaFilter, lighten up, this sounds tasty."

But then I watched it. This is a terrible execution that wouldn't even taste good. I love bacon, but this is too much and used in the wrong way. For crying out loud, if you need more salted pork, you can't buy some pancetta or some prosciutto or something, get at least a different flavor in there? And what is wrong with you, putting bacon over the hog? How is that skin going to get all crispy and crunchy if you just bury it under more damned bacon? And WTF is a butter-Dr Pepper sauce? Did you just fucking decide to baste the thing with whatever happened to be in the top shelf of the fridge door, or what?

Also, I have to imagine that if you had planned ahead and devoted the proper amount of time to this that you would have been able to smoke the whole thing in one looooooong go, or roast it at like 200F for a few days, and really let the flavors be more than bacon and smoke and sugar.

TLDR: I love this idea, but I hate this execution.
posted by paisley henosis at 10:30 AM on November 24, 2010


PS- totally hipsters and totally douchebags, both.

A normal person might take the time to make something like this, and serve it to guests and friends as a splendid center to a splendid meal.

A bunch of hipster assholes might take the time to make this, but then just hand it out in slices and eat it like finger food while they make stupid comments to try to score points.

If you can't see the difference, you might spend too much time around assholes.
posted by paisley henosis at 10:37 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Those gluttony pants are amazing. We joke a lot about "Eatin' Pants" in my family (which, I can't take credit for - it comes from the Friends Thanksgiving episode where Joey shows up in his "eating pants" which are just sweatpants) - especially around the holidays and LO AND BEHOLD. Where there is a harebrained idea, there is some guy who actually does it. G-d bless capitalism. And Eatin' Pants.
posted by sonika at 10:38 AM on November 24, 2010


As far as I can tell, these days the word "hipsters" just means, "Young(ish) people who does not look or act like they belong in a Budweiser commercial."

Even by that standard these people wouldn't be hipsters. I wouldn't have been that surprised if the video had closed with with the Budweiser logo and some kind of dude-man slogan, like "Thanksgiving, Fuck Yeah" or "Punch The Uncooked Pig Of Your Thirst."
posted by en forme de poire at 10:43 AM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


"Punch The Uncooked Pig Of Your Thirst."

Sounds like translated Japanese. Let's all punch the uncooked pig of thirst!
posted by adamdschneider at 10:59 AM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


8,000 cups of corn flakes has 88,000 calories.
posted by bz at 11:05 AM on November 24, 2010


How DARE you talk that way about my beloved cherpumple.

Apparently I am more devoted to sugary goodness than meat, because I so want a piece of chermumple pie cake now. Just one piece! That should last me for a few days.

Eh....I had some pumple cake (minus the cherry pie layer) for a company Thanksgiving. That's still two pies encased in two cakes and covered in frosting.

In order to bake these monstrosities, you sacrifice flavor (in that pumpkin pie's smooth greasy nonflavor invades the chocolate cake, and yellow cake doesn't have much flavor anyway) and texture (in order to bake it thoroughly, you have to overcook the cake to dryness).

And then, after you eat one slice, you want to throw up, because it is Too. Much.

And I love sweets, don't have a problem eating them at all. But I felt seriously ill after one towering but thin slice of that thing.

If Thanksgiving is going to become about extreme eating (as opposed to just fullness), I'm just going to stay in and order Chinese.
posted by emjaybee at 11:17 AM on November 24, 2010


If you can't see the difference, you might spend too much time around assholes.

That's a mirror.
posted by codacorolla at 11:21 AM on November 24, 2010


gompa, you are brilliant.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:26 AM on November 24, 2010


When vegans lapse hard.
posted by Decani at 11:56 AM on November 24, 2010


I think it just needs some cheese curds and gravy.
posted by sfts2 at 11:58 AM on November 24, 2010


Aw nuts. I was prepping a FPP on Epic Meal Time, but I was trying to track down something besides their youtube channel. (It just feels like there's gotta be something else, right?)

I actually thought this one fairly tame by their standards. For those of you lamenting how the food would taste, you're missing the point. Prosciutto is not Epic. Bacon is Epic. Compare with The Worst Pizza Ever.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:08 PM on November 24, 2010


AAAGH THIS IS SO DUMB
WE'RE DONE WITH MEAT CLUSTERFUCKS OKAY
THIS IS DESTROYING CIVILIZATION
posted by tehloki at 12:20 PM on November 24, 2010


Fuck Yea Bro!!! Extreme!!!
posted by Ad hominem at 12:56 PM on November 24, 2010


That Bro saying bacon strips over and over is my new ring tone!!! More adderall!!!! Fuck Yea!!!
posted by Ad hominem at 1:07 PM on November 24, 2010


I know I'm a bit late to the party on this one but I've always wanted to do this...

Metafilter: Somewhere between literally decadent and a massive pile of meat wank.
posted by Sandor Clegane at 2:01 PM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]


Relevant: Bacon, or Beer Can?
posted by killdevil at 2:05 PM on November 24, 2010


StopPlayingWithYourFood! When Roman decadence comes, it will be wrapped in a flag and eating a turducken.
posted by Trochanter at 3:12 PM on November 24, 2010


Failure birds in a sadness pig.
posted by orme at 4:05 PM on November 24, 2010 [2 favorites]


ughhh...absolutely Bro's, definitely not hipsters. These are the same douche bags who did the so-called Greatest Sandwich Ever, which besides being disgusting, didn't even contain all off the ingredients that they claimed at the start...

These bro's give gourmands a bad name...

And what's with the guy in the yarmulke at 2:23...I'll be happy if I never have to see another Epic Meal Time again.
posted by Jazz.bot at 4:54 PM on November 24, 2010


For all you Tick fans out there:

I'M FULL OF TINIER FOOD!
posted by JHarris at 9:45 PM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]


YES YES YES THIS IS PERFECT CLICK ON IT
posted by tehloki at 9:26 AM on November 25, 2010 [3 favorites]


Metafilter. What the hell is wrong with you. That's a dudebro, not a hipster. He likes Axe Body Spray and extreme sports, not indie rock and moustache wax.
posted by dunkadunc at 2:48 PM on November 27, 2010


They has a Facebook.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:59 PM on November 27, 2010


killdevil: Relevant: Bacon, or Beer Can

Oh. Huh. Well, that was, umm....shitty and weird.
posted by paisley henosis at 8:21 PM on November 27, 2010


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