Bootiful

November 26, 2010 5:01 AM

Millionaire Norfolk farmer Bernard Matthews became an unlikely minor celebrity in the UK, after appearing in his own adverts. He specialised in turkey production and ironically died yesterday on Thanksgiving.

His company had suffered from imaged problems in recent years with Turkey Twizzlers being banned in schools as junk food after a campaign by Jamie Oliver, animal welfare concerns and an avian flu outbreak.

posted by fearfulsymmetry (44 comments total)

...ironically died yesterday on Thanksgiving.

That's not ironic, that's coincidental, and sad.
posted by chebucto at 5:04 AM on November 26, 2010 [5 favorites]

...unless you're a turkey
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 5:06 AM on November 26, 2010 [6 favorites]

10 facts about Britain's most famous farmer
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:15 AM on November 26, 2010

He didn't die ironically. He died, ironically.
posted by DU at 5:19 AM on November 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

Pedantic Mefite is pedantic

That's not irony.
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 5:22 AM on November 26, 2010

~~~
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 5:44 AM on November 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

his timing is bootiful.
posted by runincircles at 6:06 AM on November 26, 2010

damm, saw post title.
posted by runincircles at 6:06 AM on November 26, 2010

He did produce a bootiful Turkey, although his Turkey Sandwiches were a little less... natural. The ones with added cheese got me through many a student evening, though.
posted by Brockles at 6:07 AM on November 26, 2010

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posted by TheophileEscargot at 6:14 AM on November 26, 2010

As for the irony, him dying on 'Thanksgiving' isn't ironic at all. If he'd died on Christmas Day (when the UK people eat all their Turkeys) then that may be ironic, but for Matthews and the Turkeys he produces, November has no significance whatsoever - there is no Thanksgiving in the UK.
posted by Brockles at 6:16 AM on November 26, 2010 [10 favorites]

Ironically, this thread is more likely to be filled with comments about the meaning of irony rather than factory farmed turkey chat.

Alains Morrisette must be literally spinning in her grave.
posted by i_cola at 6:29 AM on November 26, 2010 [9 favorites]

As for the irony, him dying on 'Thanksgiving' isn't ironic at all. If he'd died on Christmas Day (when the UK people eat all their Turkeys)

Indeed. If I was 80 years old and faced with the prospect of plucking several thousand turkeys, I'd definitely make sure I met my maker before Christmas.
posted by MuffinMan at 6:31 AM on November 26, 2010

> there is no Thanksgiving in the UK

What, you mean no-one else but me celebrated “Thanksgiving for getting rid of those annoying Puritans”?
posted by scruss at 6:42 AM on November 26, 2010 [4 favorites]

I would email the mods and ask them to remove your use of the word "ironically," or the actual subject of this thread may never be addressed.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:43 AM on November 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

factory farmed turkey chat

Worst chat room ever.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:48 AM on November 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

there is no Thanksgiving in the UK.

The Tory government austerity measures have gone too far.
posted by humanfont at 6:58 AM on November 26, 2010

Bernard Matthews turkey factory squalor. I apologize for linking to the Daily Mail but Bernard Matthews was all that is gross about industrial farming. Unfortunately a neccessary evil.
posted by adamvasco at 7:11 AM on November 26, 2010

Unfortunately a neccessary evil.

Absolutely not. (Of course, that's what Spiked Online would like you to believe, but that's because they're one of the manifestations of the old Living Marxism magazine, now Institute of Ideas and a variety of other groups, all committed to stupid contrarianism for the sake of it mixed in with support for the big pharmaceutical companies and others who fund them.)
posted by game warden to the events rhino at 7:17 AM on November 26, 2010

Irony is dead, ironically.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:21 AM on November 26, 2010

Bernard Matthews (the company) also invented Turkey Twizzlers, so hated by Jamie Oliver.
posted by DanCall at 7:23 AM on November 26, 2010

'Isn't it coincidental' would have been a clumsy song. It's a bitch to make something rhyme with that extra syllable.
posted by Jeremy at 7:29 AM on November 26, 2010

As for the irony, him dying on 'Thanksgiving' isn't ironic at all. If he'd died on Christmas Day (when the UK people eat all their Turkeys) then that may be ironic, but for Matthews and the Turkeys he produces, November has no significance whatsoever - there is no Thanksgiving in the UK.

Indeed, Brockles is correct. Akin to me saying that $famous-American-pugilist ironically died on Boxing Day.
posted by djgh at 7:34 AM on November 26, 2010

.
posted by Ranucci at 7:43 AM on November 26, 2010

What, you mean no-one else but me celebrated “Thanksgiving for getting rid of those annoying Puritans”?

Well, of course. But it's more 'every day' than some specific one, isn't it? I've still not forgiven the bastards for wasting all that good tea.
posted by Brockles at 7:44 AM on November 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

Ah yes, but nobody in Britain actually remembers what Boxing Day is for, other than news reports of people who camped out in the carpark of The Trafford Centre to be the first to get £5 off a big TV.
posted by mippy at 7:49 AM on November 26, 2010

factory farmed turkey chat
Worst chat room ever

I won't link to factory farmed turkey furry sex chat then.

I apologize for linking to the Daily Mail...

A Daily Mail link backed up with a Spiked Online link?! That's like a bogie* pancake covered in snot...

*booger
posted by i_cola at 7:49 AM on November 26, 2010

Good riddance to the cnut.

Mechanically recovered meat dressed up in a Norfolk burrr.
posted by the cuban at 7:57 AM on November 26, 2010

I grew up on the Suffolk-Norfolk border; I never touch any food produced by Bernard Matthews.

Not just because everyone I knew who got a summer job at one of his "farms" would come out unable to eat chicken ever again (one friend had the choice task of filling the frozen chicken kievs with the special sauce), but also because a relative who was chief legal advisor to Norfolk County Council told me that teevee advert accent was a complete fake.
posted by bebrogued at 8:07 AM on November 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

... but for Matthews and the Turkeys he produces, November has no significance whatsoever - there is no Thanksgiving in the UK.

As of this year though we do seem to have a Black Friday. Plenty of online retailers have been trying to get us to go crazy, kick down their doors and hyperventilate over it. Amazon.co.uk has been the worst offender, but there were others too.

I'm tempted to close my account.
posted by vbfg at 8:18 AM on November 26, 2010

Weirdly my main association with him will always be a TV exposes on factory farms which showed a literal river of blood flowing out of one of his slaughterhouses.
posted by Artw at 8:29 AM on November 26, 2010

there is no Thanksgiving in the UK.

We have a harvest festival.

(also if the crop fails we round up all the pedants and burn them in a wickerman to make the sun come back)
posted by Artw at 8:31 AM on November 26, 2010 [5 favorites]

I remember a TV expose where, because the turkeys are bread to be so spherical they can't mate properly, one bloke's job was to basically masturbate the cock birds so they could impregnate the hens. Not exactly the best job in the world.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:36 AM on November 26, 2010

Best comment on this is one I saw from a mate on Facebook:

"So it turns out Bernard Matthews was a real person. I thought he was like Tony the Tiger but for meat."
posted by Happy Dave at 9:02 AM on November 26, 2010 [3 favorites]

We have a harvest festival.

True, but nowhere near November and that doesn't have anything to do with Turkeys either.

Do you think it'd be Turkey torture to start shipping them from the US? They'd just get all excited that they'd dodged a bullet by the end of November and spend 3 weeks totally happy and thinking they were free, then suddenly everything goes wrong when that fella in the red suit turns up.

Conversely, UK Turkeys would be totally caught by surprise in the US - "What? (Gobble) Let me see that bloody calendar again (Gobble)... but it's November!"
posted by Brockles at 9:30 AM on November 26, 2010

I bought one of his 'roasting joints' once when house-sharing ('91 - ish) - a sort of glued-together and extruded lump of pork (I think) with an extruded-on layer of basting fat, not the wrapped-on-by-a-person sort you normally see.

Without exception, the chewiest thing I, or my friends, had or have ever since tried to eat. It was impossible. We gave up trying and went to the pub for lunch instead. And we were good at roasts, even then, so I don't think the cooks were at fault.

Everything that he and his company stood for were and are the very worst about food production. I've had one or two of his products since and they were, without exception, vile.
posted by dowcrag at 9:44 AM on November 26, 2010 [1 favorite]

... and Marco Pierre White working with them in 2010 just proves what a total cock he turned into...
posted by dowcrag at 9:45 AM on November 26, 2010

He was mentioned in last weeks episode of Alan Partridge's Mid Morning Matters. Just skip to 8:30 in the video.

I never heard of the guy as I'm from the states but I just watched this episode and thought it was worth noting.
posted by dagosto at 10:39 AM on November 26, 2010

Apparently, he's going to be cremated. At Gas Mark 6 for 2 hours.
posted by salmacis at 11:29 AM on November 26, 2010 [2 favorites]

Not to be pendantic, but there is a Thanksgiving Day in Canada, a movable feast in October based on when there's a Harvest Moon, and it's a national holiday. It has nothing to do with the USA festival.
posted by drogien at 11:56 AM on November 26, 2010

'Isn't it coincidental' would have been a clumsy song. It's a bitch to make something rhyme with that extra syllable.

Extra two sylables : I-ron-ic vs. Co-in-ci-den-tal ...
posted by benzo8 at 10:22 PM on November 26, 2010

What the hell is a Turkey Twizzler? I'm thinking American Twizzlers here and getting very sick to my stomach imagining a turkey-flavored one. All the online photos seem to indicate they're some kind of curly-fry-shaped sausage thingy...is that it?
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:45 AM on November 28, 2010

You could use a turkey-flavored Twizzler like a straw to suck up gravy. Like regular Twizzlers and Coke.
posted by maryr at 9:00 AM on November 28, 2010

Turkey Twizzlers.
posted by Happy Dave at 4:24 AM on November 29, 2010