Think of the damn kids, man!

December 1, 2010 12:29 PM

Sugar Slam's Super Live Toy Drive! (slyt)
posted by boo_radley (18 comments total)

This lady couldn't sound more like a clueless 50s dad reciting the same lines if she was in fact Ward Cleaver.
posted by NiteMayr at 12:36 PM on December 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

When I first started watching this I couldn't tell if it was (yet another) parody.

I still can't.

Irony came all the way around again and bit itself on its own butt.
posted by the dief at 12:37 PM on December 1, 2010

You can tell the real Juggalo videos from the fake ones because they're always about 2-3 times as long as they need to be.
posted by signalnine at 12:39 PM on December 1, 2010 [7 favorites]

Dear lord, I need a giant, red button that shouts "LET'S GIVE A FUCK!" for work.
posted by word_virus at 12:44 PM on December 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

NiteMayr: "This lady couldn't sound more like a clueless 50s dad reciting the same lines if she was in fact Ward Cleaver."

"June, I'm all up your potatoes like a 'lo in some dank nugs!!"

"Fuck, ninja, I know it. Motherfuckers be lovin my mash cause of the whiskey! Tellin' a bitch what she already know, shit."

"Troof!"

(Ward and June dap knuckles)
posted by boo_radley at 12:54 PM on December 1, 2010 [3 favorites]

I will be using this as a promotional video for our Toys for Tots drive at the office this year. The gist will be, if these losers can find some goddamn money for charity then you ought to be able to find some also you cheap motherfuckers.
posted by dortmunder at 1:00 PM on December 1, 2010

People don't kill themselves more at Christmas.

Are Suicide Rates Higher at Christmas? (PDF) (tl;dr: no)

"with the tags, fags!"
posted by mrgrimm at 1:02 PM on December 1, 2010

I've detected a flaw in their plan: do Juggalos know how to mail a package?

Fucking stamps, how do they work?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:10 PM on December 1, 2010

This is a win-win-win.

1. The fucking kids get dope brand new shit (w/tags, fags) [WIN];
2. Ninjas get a dope-ass CD, agnagraphed by J and Shaggy themselves;
3. We get this!

Altogether extra Christmassy.
posted by kosem at 1:15 PM on December 1, 2010 [2 favorites]

EVERYONE GETS A PITCHFORK!
posted by not_on_display at 1:25 PM on December 1, 2010

I had fun watching the video and hopefully some needy kids are going to receive toys and apparel this Christmas. Win win.
posted by Sticherbeast at 1:26 PM on December 1, 2010

I'm hyperventilating!
posted by wcfields at 1:37 PM on December 1, 2010

We have an assdan tag now, which makes me happy. [pours some faygo on the ground for dat ninja]
posted by jbickers at 1:46 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]

I suddenly understand all those hackneyed old Christmas stories where people who hate other people temporarily gain respect and even love for those other people.

Luckily soon it will be January and I can go back to hating juggalos.
posted by mightygodking at 3:33 PM on December 1, 2010

Don't forget, now SNL writers have a free skit they don't have to write.
posted by norm at 3:46 PM on December 1, 2010

Who is this? and I second the Ward Cleaver sentiment. She sounds like she is reading off of cue cards and confused about what she is being asked to say.

Short...this video is ratchet.
posted by djduckie at 5:22 PM on December 1, 2010

Whenever I see these things and they start listing off the band names, I really wonder if they're just making bands up. Maybe throw in a few imaginary ones to make the Juggalos panic about something they missed.

I also just can't get enough of Sugar Slam and her forced profanity.
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 8:24 PM on December 1, 2010

Sugar Slam's real name is Michelle Rapp. She's the girlfriend of Insane Clown Posse member Violent J, as well as the mother of their two children. I can't tell how old she is, but apparently she went to high school with Tila Tequila, who is 29.
posted by neda at 9:18 PM on December 1, 2010 [1 favorite]