The Leila Texts

December 2, 2010 9:11 PM

"When you send a text message on the Verizon network, you can address your text by choosing a name out of your contact list, or you can address it by typing in a phone number. You can also type in a name. And if you type in L-E-I-L-A, then—bizarrely—your text will come to me. This is a blog about the texts I have received. All of them are from strangers, intended for other Leilas, but obviously they missed their marks."
posted by danb (48 comments total)

Love it. Reminds me of the periodic reviews of the lives of people who were unfortunate enough to be assigned the phone number 867-5309.

For a brief period of time, a frenzied pack of pre-teen fans of Zac Efron thought my son's email address was his email address. (I also spell my son's name Zac, but apart from that, I never found any other commonality.) I posted the emails he/we received on a "Letters to Zac" blog.
posted by pzarquon at 9:29 PM on December 2, 2010 [3 favorites]

Breach of confidence? I like it.
posted by doublehappy at 9:33 PM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

Some of the "replies" are really good. My favorite so far:

FWD: all honestly were did u guys go last nite
K. Maher Jr
from a 732 phone number, Sunday, November 28, 7:01 PM EST

All honestly, K. Maher Jr, we went to a party. We went to an awesome party without you. The drinks were free and all those people you have crushes on were there. Celebrities were there, as well. All honestly, that is where we went without you last night.

posted by treepour at 9:35 PM on December 2, 2010 [11 favorites]

Okay, how many people with a Verizon phone just texted her?
posted by The Whelk at 9:36 PM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

I hop the is your e-mail address and if it is can you right back to me and why did you break up with Vanessa Hudgens and are you go to get back to gater with vanessa yes or no and can me and my friend slaring brat your birthday on oct 18 yes or no and can i have your phone number and your Code and do you sill go to school and what do you won't for your birthday and how old are you go to be and i have a lorm clock of high school musical 2 for wen i go to school P.S please right back to me so as you get the e-mail that i am send you for my home and tell vanessa to give me her e-mail address and her Phone number and code and i got the necklace that you gave Vanessa Hudgens on high school musical 2 and i have the Cd of high school musical 2 and i got all the shrit of high school musical and i have a baook back and i go the books one ther four and i have the pocktbook with troy on it and lot of poster and i have a good night and a good day to morrow waht are you go to do on satrday and i am go fish wirh my pappy and i got the luch box of high school musical.

This can't be real. But it can't be fake, it just can't.
posted by doublehappy at 9:37 PM on December 2, 2010 [12 favorites]

Strangely compelling.

I'm glad my iPhone helps me spell things correctly even when I'm in a hurry. Some of those are almost impossible to make out.
posted by leahwrenn at 9:56 PM on December 2, 2010

im sooo mad at willow!!!!!
~grrrr~

Alright, which one of you bastards gave Mad Martigan a cell phone?
posted by mannequito at 10:07 PM on December 2, 2010 [17 favorites]

I'm glad my iPhone helps me spell things correctly even when I'm in a hurry.

You sure about that?
posted by kmz at 10:42 PM on December 2, 2010

HOW COME I JUS GOT A NEW PHONE NUMBER AND ITS FUCKIN MILEY CIRUS OLD NUMBER!!! STOP CALLIN ME LIL DAMN GIRLS!!!! TRUE STORY!! NO BS!!
posted by wreckingball at 10:50 PM on December 2, 2010

PC Magazine's 50 Favorite Blogs of 2009:
Entry # 31 - The Leila Texts
Entry # 32 - MetaFilter

(Beaten out by random messages)
posted by Stu-Pendous at 10:57 PM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

Isn't this expensive?
posted by eugenen at 11:00 PM on December 2, 2010

I don't get how typing LEILA connects to that particular person's phone, alphanumerically or otherwise; can someone please explain?
posted by not_on_display at 11:05 PM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

I assume the person has the corresponding shortcode? Not sure why they would, though.
posted by hattifattener at 11:25 PM on December 2, 2010 [1 favorite]

This can't be real. But it can't be fake, it just can't.

Someone set this to music! The thing quoted above, not the thing I quoted. Oh, okay, you can set that to music too if you want.
posted by davejay at 12:28 AM on December 3, 2010

This can't be real. But it can't be fake, it just can't.

Having seen the emails that 14 year olds send to each other; it's actually pretty good. More words are correctly spelled than average, the grammar is actually half-way legible. Punctuation is optional these days anyway, especially when texting.

The stream of conciousness thing being sent to a crush is about right. Overall, I give it a B-. I've seen a lot worse.
posted by ArkhanJG at 1:01 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Anyone else disturbed that she tracked down one of the intended recipients and provided us a link to that woman's Facebook page?
posted by vitabellosi at 4:24 AM on December 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

For a short while after I got a new cell number, I kept getting calls from people trying to set up a drug buy. "Yo man, can I get an eighth?" Instead of going by the golden rule, I fucked with people. "Sure man, meet me at the dog park. No problem dude, I'm going to be on the front row of Toy Story II at the Metroplex. Are you serious? I just sold to your mom and grandma last night, you're already out?"
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 4:36 AM on December 3, 2010 [19 favorites]

When we gave our son a cell phone, it was on the condition that he use correct grammar and spelling. No using single letters or numbers for words. I wish all parents would join me in this revolution. As bad as kids want cell phones, it's effective blackmail for good.
posted by Redhush at 4:38 AM on December 3, 2010 [9 favorites]

This's been on the internet for a while now... I wonder how many people intentionally send her cryptic messages just to get on the blog now.
posted by ErWenn at 4:41 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I can vouch for this not being fake! Leila is one of my best friends and was the maid of honor at my wedding and I can confirm that these are absolutely, 100% real.

She is also super-funny; we were in an improv group together in college and she was awesome. Probably my favorite thing from college was a two-woman show she and I did called Illegitimate Theatre. At the end we did this dance to London Calling as part of our future career as Wal*Mart greeters which might not sound funny but was AWESOME. Probably I should stop just reminiscing about how great she is, but also Leila has also recently published a young adult novel and is just all-around amazing.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 4:56 AM on December 3, 2010 [7 favorites]

Nothing from Clapton yet?
posted by indubitable at 5:21 AM on December 3, 2010 [2 favorites]

I don't get how typing LEILA connects to that particular person's phone, alphanumerically or otherwise; can someone please explain?

Ditto.
posted by amro at 6:04 AM on December 3, 2010

Okay, how many people with a Verizon phone just texted her?

I've got phone in hand...and sent.
posted by MikeMc at 6:47 AM on December 3, 2010

Okay, how many people with a Verizon phone just texted her?

I've got phone in hand...and sent.

And I got a response.
posted by MikeMc at 7:11 AM on December 3, 2010

Nothing from Clapton yet?

You know it's spelled Layla, right?
posted by morganannie at 7:19 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

And I got a response.

Don't leave us in suspense!
posted by morganannie at 7:19 AM on December 3, 2010

Just sent this:

Leila, from all of us here at Metafilter, we wish you a very Merry Secret Quonsar!

No response yet.
posted by schleppo at 7:42 AM on December 3, 2010

Don't leave us in suspense!

"Hello! So where is 262?"
posted by MikeMc at 7:45 AM on December 3, 2010

Leila, from all of us here at Metafilter, we wish you a very Merry Secret Quonsar!

Oh God. She's going to think it's an orgy and we're a bunch of swingers.
posted by anniecat at 7:54 AM on December 3, 2010

I can vouch for this not being fake! Leila is one of my best friends and was the maid of honor at my wedding and I can confirm that these are absolutely, 100% real.

She is also super-funny; we were in an improv group together in college and she was awesome. Probably my favorite thing from college was a two-woman show she and I did called Illegitimate Theatre. At the end we did this dance to London Calling as part of our future career as Wal*Mart greeters which might not sound funny but was AWESOME. Probably I should stop just reminiscing about how great she is, but also Leila has also recently published a young adult novel and is just all-around amazing.

This can't be real. But it can't be fake, it just can't.
posted by fullerine at 7:54 AM on December 3, 2010 [5 favorites]

I can't stop laughing at either the Leila Texts or Letters to Zac. I wasn't aware of this Verizon capability, but that explains how my mother was able to send texts to "Ben" and "Sheryl" without actually inputting either of their phone numbers. (I'm dying to know who got her messages.)
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 7:58 AM on December 3, 2010

been on the highway at speeds \leq walking. how’s your ride?

OK, I just had a nerdgasm. Whoever put a LaTeX code into their txtmsg (presumably, knowing their recipient would get it!) is my new hero.
posted by en forme de poire at 8:00 AM on December 3, 2010 [3 favorites]

Also, my phone number used to belong to a high school girl apparently involved in lots of drama, which led to me getting texts reading:
"why did u feel the need to get mercedes sent away. like really"
posted by punchdrunkhistory at 8:04 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: it's an orgy and we're a bunch of swingers.
posted by mikepop at 8:06 AM on December 3, 2010

Nothing from Clapton yet?

As the other party of Mrs. Pterodactyl's wedding where Leila was maid-of-honor, I know she would want me to emphasize that her name is pronounced LIE-la, not LAY-la. Like the Oasis song, not the Clapton song.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:09 AM on December 3, 2010

"I don't get how typing LEILA connects to that particular person's phone, alphanumerically or otherwise; can someone please explain?"

I think it's via the Verizon Wireless Nickname (or vtext) service...
posted by maortiz at 8:15 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

OK, I just had a nerdgasm. Whoever put a LaTeX code into their txtmsg (presumably, knowing their recipient would get it!) is my new hero.

Seriously, I am very wordy in text and this would save me so many characters.
posted by muddgirl at 8:17 AM on December 3, 2010

It seems that vtext is a bad idea. Very bad idea, in fact.
posted by wierdo at 8:19 AM on December 3, 2010

Just sent this:
Leila, from all of us here at Metafilter, we wish you a very Merry Secret Quonsar!
No response yet.

Response received: Thanks! Ditto!

I think it's via the Verizon Wireless Nickname (or vtext) service...

You're correct. The response was from [e-mail]. Verizon must default to that if it can't find the name in your contact list.
posted by schleppo at 8:19 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I had so hoped this post was going to be about Leela
posted by stevil at 8:37 AM on December 3, 2010

this is gonna sound terrible, but would u do what we did last night with someone while we were together? cause even if we didnt kiss u know we did stuff

This person needs to read more AskMetafilter.
posted by John Cohen at 9:07 AM on December 3, 2010

I know she would want me to emphasize that her name is pronounced LIE-la, not LAY-la.

Can you pass along the word that she pronounces her name wrong? :D (I KID!)
posted by mrgrimm at 9:15 AM on December 3, 2010

I was wondering why Leila wasn't getting my texts. This is, in fact, a stupid service. Unfortunately my texts are too nerdy to be humorous enough to post. :(
posted by mek at 9:21 AM on December 3, 2010

I txted her "Nice blog!" and I got "Thanks!"

Yaaaay
posted by The Whelk at 10:20 AM on December 3, 2010

The Whelk, you are now internet famous person famous by proxy!

That is actually worse than eye cancer, but whatever.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:32 AM on December 3, 2010

Wait, you mean I wasn't internet famous before?


UNCONTROLLABLE SOBBING
posted by The Whelk at 10:34 AM on December 3, 2010 [1 favorite]

I am going to get you a little hat with that blinking on it.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:43 AM on December 3, 2010

Misdirected messages anecdote:

My first telephone number in NYC was 586-1128. Geraldo Rivera's tv show line was 586-1288.

If a person left their finger just a smidgen longer than necessary on the 1, when calling Geraldo, my number was reached. For years I got bizarre and sometimes deeply poignant, messages. Two that were memorable 20 years later, come to mind: the person who screamed that they didn't like Geraldo's kind of trash in Texas. The black woman who was adopted by a white couple and had conflicted thoughts about feeling more love for white folks, since that felt like a betrayal to her color.

Some messages took up the entire side of my sorely missed Panasonic Easa Phone Answering Machine cassette tape.

Finally the phone company gave me a new number.
posted by nickyskye at 12:20 PM on January 2, 2011